There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind.  The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.


____Remember to think before you speak and act.

Ok, so 2.5 years ago, when Michiel and I were moving into this place, we of course went in search for a washing machine (gotta wash your clothes, right?!). Ok, so in the store, we saw that they had washer/dryer combo's. One machine that would both wash your clothes and dry them too (with heat). So that's what we bought.
Then, in a couple or weeks, they delivered it. I started using it right away because i really needed to wash the laundry that we had! But for the life of me, i couldn't figure out how to make the dryer part work. So i just figured i would hang the laundry to dry until i could figure out the drying option. After about 2 weeks of use, and a thorough (and what i thought was a GOOD) review of the instruction manual, i 'realized' that they had delivered the WRONG washer/dryer combo...because there was NO WAY this one was going to dry clothes. It just was a washer. But we thought it was also too late to return it, sicne we had used it so much. So we decided to keep the stupid thing. So for 2.5 years of living in the apartment, i have been aching for a clothing dryer soooooo bad.

Then today, it's kind of warm-ish weather, and the sun is coming in the windows right...ok so...i had some clothes that i wanted to wear today, that i just took out of the washer, and i figured i would turn the radiator/heater on and dry them on that. OK...bad idea, it's way too hot to turn the heater on! So i started thinking about our dang washer...and how it's supposed to be a dryer, too. So i went and got the instruction manual again, and within 5 minutes, i found out how to DRY THE STINKING CLOTHES!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!! ALL THESE YEARSSSS. *sigh*
It's one measly little button that you push...and then VOILA! We have a dryer!! The reason i couldn't figure it out earlier is because there are 2 sides to the English part of the instructions, and i was only reading one side lol!!! Lame.

I'm such a dumbarse sometimes!! Well, 2.5 years ago i was, apparently!

I'm so happy now, i kissed our beautiful washer/dryer combo!! I aslo feel pretty retarded for not getting it earlier. ARGGG.

Taken from ferndesign journal on Redbubble:

An Artist that shouldn't be recognized in the Art world!!!

In 2007, the 'artist' Guillermo Vargas Habacuc, took a dog from the street, tied him to a rope in an art gallery, and starved him to death. For several days, the 'artist' and the visitors of the exhibition have watched emotionless the shameful 'masterpiece' based on the dog's agony, until eventually he died. Does it look like art to you? But this is not all… the prestigious Visual Arts Biennial of the Central American decided that the 'installation' was actually art, so that Guillermo Vargas Habacuc has been invited to repeat his cruel action for the biennial of 2008. PLEASE HELP STOP HIM. It takes a second to help put a stop to animal abuse sign the petition to stop this by going to http://www.petitiononline.com/ea6gk/petition.html


STRONG WARNING!!!!!! This is what he did! And shows pics of this! This makes me wanna shoot this guy!! http://elperritovive.blogspot.com/


Everyone go sign that petition!!!!! If you have more than one email, sign it again and again!

I got a new physical therapist because the last one left a large, bloody bruise on my back from massaging me wayyy too hard, and it turns out that he isn’t even qualified and licensed to give massages. Great eh?
So i had my first appointment with the new one yesterday. He’s lived in America for 19 years (New York), studied there and worked there the entire time, and built a very good name for himself. I was referred to him by Michiel’s father, who had gone to him before. I’ve heard a lot of nice stories about him. People come all the way from America just to see him again.

Anyway...to the point...

He’s very different in his methods, but apparently effective. He’s very gentle, and he takes quite a bit of time to just think to himself. At first i thought it a bit weird...like, what have a gotten myself into? Is he some kind of taboo nut? lol
But no, i don’t think so.  He  came to a few options of what could be wrong with me, and he was very honest and said that he needed help. He says he really needs help in diagnosing and helping me. He said i am in way too much pain at such a young age (that’s an understatement), and he’s having trouble figuring out where it is coming from exactly. What is the root source of it? He wants to send me to this woman who tests my skin resistance by poking me lightly with a pen, and then a meter on a screen will tell her things about me based on my skin resistance in different areas. She can find out if i am lacking any vitamins or minerals and which ones they may be. My therapist also said that i may have a fungus in my body that makes it impossible for me to lose weight. His daughter had it, and the woman can help to eliminate it. What is frustrating is that he didn’t want to give me anymore information about this ’fungus’. Sounds nasty, i know. He just wants to find out if i have it first, and then steps will be taken to cure me.
The thing is, i am having surgery in a couple of weeks, and surgery is going to do so much for me, so i don’t know if this process with the therapists is necassary or a good idea at the moment. I’ve found a remedy for my weight, and right now i just want the pain in my neck, back and legs/feet to go away. It’s unbearable. My therapist doesn’t believe in using medicines and surgeries or such to help people, he believes in doing it all naturally (Tom Cruise theory hehe). I also feel this way to a certain degree. Sure, doing everything naturally is great...IF it can be done that way successfully. But things just aren’t always like that. And sometimes people need medicine, sometimes they need surgery, sometimes they need less natural methods of help. If someone has a heart disease, they can’t always be strong enough to help themselves naturally to overcome their illness, and they need medicine or surgery. I don’t think it’s wrong to give them help in this way. I mean, i’m very much a naturalist/organic puritain/whatever you want to call it, but when people are suffering and natural remedies aren’t working, something else has to be done. I’m not saying that i want pain killers to subdue my pain (i don’t want them, actually because i can’t have them in my system when i have surgery, and also because they aren’t going to ’fix’ me, but only give me temporary relief), but what i do want is just some quick help. All of this that my therapist wants is pretty time consuming (months worth of examination, experimentation, treatment), and i’m in so much pain...i just don’t want to keep it going for so long. I’ve been messed up for 5 years now, and i’ve come to the end of my rope...the dirty end. Everything is breaking on me. So i don’t know what to do really.

Today i am really sore. I worked out a long time yesterday, pretty heavily. Then later i was messed around with by the physical therapist. I think i pulled a muscle in my leg/butt. It hurts pretty bad to walk. But i have to say that i have never felt so calm. I feel completely washed over in calmness and relaxation. It’s kind of strange, but nice.

I make films for school and stuff. Thought I’d share my latest one.

While visiting a couple of museums, i overheard some conversations of the viewers. I’ve made a series of 3 short films about it (about a minute each in length).

Enjoy (if you can lol--kinda artsy fartsy).

Click this link to watch film at my online art gallery: http://sharlij.deviantart.com/art/3-short-films-on-art-viewing-80167877

I'm turning 21 on Saturday. I feel so rushed to complete my life. Not many people seem to understand my feelings about it. Oh well...whatever. I've always been misunderstood at points in my life. Comes with the birth date i guess.

With this age comes something new.
With this age i still miss you.

That's all i got in the way of poetry right now. Thought i was feeling poetic...but after those two lines, i quickly lost the feeling. I guess i do better with straight forward writing. heh.

Yesterday was my first appointment with my new physical therapist. He's nice. He's gonna fix me up. I'm all a mess. But i gotta say...when i left yesterday, i was in more pain than i had going into it (didn't think that would be possible). So i barely slept last night. Had bad dreams when i did sleep (one was about a talking cat following me around. It was scary as hell).
I've been missing a bit of school here and there lately because of the pain my body is in. They're very understanding there, though. I do like this school, but I'm constantly fighting myself on it. I mean...what's the point? I don't care enough about my opinions being heard to make public art about it (that's if i study fine arts/a general modern art degree). And i don't want to sit around drawing pictures all the time either (that's if i study illustration). I'm not helping anyone with this work, and i'm not helping myself. So i don't see the point in it. Never did. Don't want to do this study, but i don't want to quit either because like i said earlier, I feel rushed to complete something. I don't want to let people down by quitting.

I'm also feeling utterly euphoric about surgery coming up. It's giving me so many emotions, so much knowledge, so much happiness, so much sadness, so much confusion, excitement, anger, expectation, etc...Just every emotion, really. I'm so ready, and i'm so...at a lack of words.

I'll be legally "bound to Michiel" soon, hehe. Kinda like a marriage, but it's more of a 'legal relationship'. Marriage's wedding will come when it's a good time. "Love is better than a song. Love is where all of us belong."--Cat Stevens

Hope everyone has a great week, and an amazing March 8th!!
Go give someone a great compliment on that day, please! That's my birthday wish.

sorry i haven't written any good blogs in a long time. Just been really busy. Every time i sit down to write a blog, something comes up and i have to end it, so i never end up posting one.

So...sorry for not giving good reads any more. Hopefully i can get around to doing it sometime.

Ladies and gentlemen, may i introduce to you, Sushi and her 4 newly born babies (video link at the bottom):

 

 

 

Ok, so i wasn't feeling good today, so i was sleeping at 12 o'clock. Then the doorbell rings A LOT, but i didn't realize what was happening, so i answered my phone, haha. I thought the phone was ringing because i was half asleep.

Then the doorbell started ringing again. So i got out of the bed and started walking towards the door when i hear men outside beating up the door and climbing the windows!!

I look in the kitchen and this dude had climbed up to the highest window and is trying to get in, and then he sees me and tells me in Dutch to open the door.

So i go hesitantly to the door, because i don't know who the hell these dudes are. I open it and go "What are you DOING!!?" (cuz i mean...they're climbing my windows!)

So he looks kinda shocked for a second and then goes "We're the police and we have reason to believe that there is someone staying here Illegally in Holland, may we come in?"

and i know they can't come in unless i say it's ok, So i go: "Well, i have my papers here, i can go get them and show them to you, just wait right here."
And so the guy asks if he can come in again, and i tell him to wait. But then i realized Michiel had taken my papers today to make copies of them, so i told the police that they could come in.

So then they ask for my passport and i go and get that, (which also has a permit to stay in it), and then the guy asks me if he can have a look around. I tell him yes, but he wants me to lead him around, so there are no surprises to him (like i'm a crazy criminal with bombs or rabid dogs in my house or something).

So then i call Michiel and tell him to bring the papers home. So he leaves work (he's a teacher), and is on his way here, and then the police say that the sticker in my passport is enough. That's all they needed.

OH, and i forgot to say this: first, two policemen come in, and after like 5 or so minutues, 2 MORE come RUNNING in here! lol, they slammed the door open and charge in! That was craziness.

SO anyway, they're looking around the house and one dude picks up a Dungeons and Dragons book and asks me if i'm reading it and smiles. I'm like.."No, that's Michiel's book"...
So yea, they were having a jolly good time with all our neat stuff, apparently. Looking at pictures and whatnot. Talking to me about our cats, etc...

So yea, there is more conversation to the story, but not important enough to tell right now.

So after like half an hour, they leave, and then Michiel gets home a couple minutes after they left. I'm like...WHAT THE HELL!...and he's like...WHAT THE HELL!

lol....fun times, fun times.