December 2008: Decode- Paramore
January 2009: Leave Out All the Rest- Linkin Park
February 2009: Nobody Like You- Limp Bizkit

He was being nice by being an asshole. No, he was saving my life by being an asshole. Does that make sense? Sounds like a bit of an oxymoron, doesn't it? Well, I'll tell you how it makes sense because it does, in fact, make perfect sense. I swear, if I would've known this at the time, I think I would've fallen even deeper in love with him.

So, he and I were friends. Then I started to like him a bit. I moved. We would talk on the phone for hours on end every day. Mostly because my parents were gone a lot during the summer so I'd just spend all day on the computer and on the phone with him. Well, mostly I'd just talk to him...that's what I remember most of him, really. Our shortest conversation, I believe is somewhere between 10-15 minutes. Our longest? Probably somewhere between 100-120 minutes. Yeah, I know. We liked to talk a lot. :)

Then I fell in love with him. At first, I didn't tell him. Although, I must say, I was pretty obvious about it. I loved everything about him. Whenever I'd see his number on the caller ID, I knew my day was just about to get a bit brighter. Then everything changed.

I told him I was in love with him. The school year started a SMMS. Eighth grade. Pleasant memories [/sarcasm]. Anyway, he started being a real asshole. I wished and wished I could hate him, but I couldn't. I was still in love with him.

He remained a total jerk. I hated it so much. I started to hate everything about him. But I couldn't hate him. I hated myself so much for it. I believe that was when I fell into depression. Well, that on top of the shittiest school year of my life.

I'm ranting too much. I have a point here.

Then I met Peter Lomason at SPHS. He fell madly in love with me. I understand now why he was such a dick to me. So I could get over him and get with someone who I actually had a chance with. So really, he cared about me, but showed it in the cruelest way possible. I don't mind. I like now knowing that he did, in fact, care.

Why am I saying this? I care about Peter as a friend and I want him to get over me. I mean, he has so many other choices. Why pick me when he can't have me? So, I'm being a bit more of an asshoe to him to get him to get over me. And I realized something.

In this situation, I'm him, and Peter's me. It all makes sense now. Like I said before, if I could've understood while it was going on, I think I would've fallen in love with him even more. I've moved on now. And I've fallen for someone completely different and way harder then I did for him.

So, I just have this to say. Thank you. And I'll always be here for you as a friend. <3

Fun Fact:

MRI tests have shown that the same parts of the brain that light up when you're addicted to heroine, light up when you're addicted to the internet. So, what that basically means is that, being addicted to the internet is the equivalent to being addicted to heroine.

No wonder I'm getting withdraw from my one hour a day restrictions.  

Oh, another random thing. I'm reading a book. This book happens to be called Watch You Bleed: The Saga of Guns N' Roses and I've come to the conclusion that Bill Bailey, aka Axl Rose, had the most fucked up childhood...ever. He should get an award. Poor guy.

As you can tell, I'm extremely bored. And well, I was happy for a little bit when I found out that Dr. Frank Furt was admitted to Rainy Day but I'm numb again. *sigh*

I'm gonna go watch True Blood now. Well, in ten minutes.

Someone help me.

Read the entry called I Thought I Was Going To Die  D:

http://musicjunkiexx94.livejournal.com/

It was awesome. The bus ride there was pretty quiet. Took a long time seeing as I live in Venice and it's all the way in Sarasota. But meh, I like long rides. Well, not long LONG rides but long enough, ya know? No, you probably don't so I'm just gonna shut up about that now xD.

Ok, so anyway, we got in and I went over by someone I knew. Tim. Well, Mark was there too. And they introduced me to their friends. So, now I have a couple people I know there (lol lunch...tell ya later). Ben, Dylan, Chris, Sam, Mark, Tim, and I feel like I'm missing someone...but I can't think of the name xD. God, I'm stupid =P.

Anyway, first block in science was fun. The only downfall: LANDERS. I swear, the moment I saw that kid I wanted to fucking strangle him. After that wore off, I wanted to break down and scream, "WHHHYYYYY??!?!!?!" I hate Landers. Always have, always will. When I left Venice Middle School, I left with the intention of never seeing that little shit's face again. But I did. And I want to strangle him. *sigh* Well, we did do something fun in science. We made these towers and to make sure everyone was doing some sort of work on it, Ms. Dunda (lol nice name, right?) made it so only certian people could touch certian things that we used to build the towers. I was supposed to only touch paper =P. Ours fell xD. But Coday saved it near the end lol. We didn't win though. Nyeh. Oh well. I had fun haha.

Second block was boring. Just talking blah blah blah. Multi media studies. In other words, art. I HATE art. No matter what school I'm in. So yeah, I just kinda zoned in and out, talked to Sam and thought about falling asleep but decided against it. I don't want the teacher to have a bad first impression of me =P. Then at the end of class she made us all go to the "studio" in the back of the room and draw some sculpter thingie in the middle without looking at the paper the whole time. Lol mine looked like shit. So did Sam's xD. Mostly everyone's did =P. I mean, we weren't allowed to look. What do you expect?

Lunch. OMG xD. Tim, Chris, Mark, Ben, Dyan, Sam, and I...God that was fun xD.

Tim: You can't get your permit unless you were born in 93!
Dylan: Well, I was born in 93.
Tim: Then you can't get it. (obviously he thought he said 94 xD).

Me: Well, my boyfriend said...
Tim: BOYFRIEND?!?!!?
Sam: *spits out milk*
Everyone started LAUGHING hysterically xD.

*after everyone laughing*
Tim: Boyfriend???
Me: Yeeeeeah.
Dylan: *whispers* He's just mad because he wants you.
Me: WHAT?!
Tim: What?
Dylan: Nothing xD.


Dylan: *tries reaching his hand to his back* I can't do it!
Tim: I can because I can reach that far.
Chris: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

OMG xDD. There was more but I can't remember it all lol. It was fun xD.

Algebra two was boring. Landers was in that class with me. Again, I wanted to strangle the kid. :(

Then in applied communications the only fun thing that happened was meeting Peter and thinking of ways to get out of the name game at the end of class xD. Luckily Dr. Puttnam came on the announcements sparing us the remembering power xD. Then school ended haha.

The bus ride home was funny. When we got into Venice, it started pouring (like more then the usual downpour of every day). Everyone freaked out and started closing windows and blah blah blah. Then:

Tim: HI FAY!
Fay: *thunderthunderthunder*
Me: Fay says hi O_o

xDD Overall, a nice first day. Very interesting :). SPHS is gonna be fun.

One more thing. I GOT MY LAPTOP TODAY!!! And I'm on it now. Buurn xD.

WHAT DO I THINK OF YOU?! xD Lol everyone's been doing it lately so I thought I would. You know how it works. Put your name, I'll reply telling you what I REALLY think of you whether it's good or bad. Most of it's good though for the people that might actually reply to this so yeah xD. Put your name and I'll reply ASAP :).

I missed Hawthorne Heights cuz I got there late but I don't really give a fuck. It was THE best night of my life. And I'm not just saying that because it was a concert. I'm saying that because I mean that. It was honestly the best fucking night of my life. Let's start from the beginning.

Ok, so we get there, and it's quiet. Then, after we (me and my dad) get something to drink (haha Monster looks like beer. Seriously, I got some weird looks xD) The Bravery came on. Lol, my dad said that the lead singer looked kinda geeky. He did though. A hot geek *shot*. Haha, he was wearing like an orange and white checkered shirt thing and like brown,extra tight pants xD. He still looked hot though. He managed to pull it off =P.


Oh, and in between sets there's like three screens with texts that people put up and they're like, "SCREAM FOR [insert name of school/team/singer/actor/whatever here]." I screamed for Heath Ledger (of course xP), Linkin Park (again, DUH), My Chemical Romance, Three Days Grace, I booed Miley and the Jonas Brothers as well as everyone else in the crowd (don't worry I don't think anyone really liked them. They just wanted to hear the crowd boo xD.) Which they did... a lot during some. Lol, my dad and I were debating on sending one  that said, "SCREAM FOR BRETT FARVE!!" just to hear everyone boo (If you know the situation with him, you know why people would boo like fuck xD). So, that was fun.

During Chris Cornell's set, my dad seriously scared me. He went just about as insane as I went during Linkin Park, which, lemme tell you, is INSANE. Ha, he helped a guy crowd surf. And dude, I almost TOUCHED Chris Cornell. The guy like, staged dived right in front of where I was and I ran up to like, touch him and help him back up, but everyone was helping him up already :(. Somehow, he still had his shirt when he got back on stage xD. I really don't know how. I was pretty mellow the whole time during that. I was saving my energy for LP, of course. 'Cept for when Chazzy came on and sang with Chris Cornell. Dude, my knees went weak cause it was my first time seeing him in person. I screamed like I was...uh...xD

Then the texts on the screen came up again and after about like 30 minutes all that was coming up was, "EVERYONE SCREAM IF YOU WANT LP NOWWWW!!!!!!!!!!" or "WE WANT LINKIN PARK!" or "ANYONE WANT TO START THE LINKIN PARK CHANT?" Haha, I started the chant and strangely, everyone in the pit joined in. It was cool xD. Then the lights dimmed and everyone (including me of course =P) started screaming their asses off. Then these guys dressed in like glow sticks and drums came out and started playing the beat to...I think it was No More Sorrow or One Step Closer, I couldn't really tell =P, and everyone started jumping and chanting, "LINKIN PARK! LINKIN PARK!" Then Rob came out and I started screaming.

He started playing the first beats to No More Sorrow and I went absolutley nuts. I went even MORE insane when the rest of the band, besides Chester came out and started playing their really cool live intro to No More Sorrow. Then the spot light went on Brad and he starts playing the actual start of the song. Then Chester comes out and everyone starts going wild and WOFJDIAOFDIAGJFKGRIAGJFAG;LFATGHIRA;TJGRKSGFDA;!

Then I got into my first mosh pit. It didn't last long but it was cool, man xD. I didn't think I was going to be so alert to my surroundings while rocking out but I was which was good because like everyone around us started moshing and just going nuts. Well, I went nuts too but meh xD. After like three songs my dad got sick of it so we moved back a bit.

Dude, during Crawling, Chris Cornell came out and started singing with Chester and then after the song Chester's like, "You know, the highlight of every show for me is when I get to sing with that guy, right there. *points to Chris*." It was funny. Chris had this like big smile on his face and he waved and walked off stage lol.

Then, right before Pushing Me Away, Mike's getting his guitar and he's going over to the keyboard and Chester's like, "That is one talented motherfucker right there. We're thinking of getting hum a drum set and making him play all the insutrments while singing during the songs." xDDDD. Mike just laughed and I believe he flipped him off =P.

Lol, I don't know what song this was during but Brad was like all up on the podium in the front of the stage rocking out on guitar and Mike comes up to him and like whispers something in his ear (Mind you, they were too close for comfort xD) and then they both started laughing WHILE Mike was still a little TOO close to Brad and dude, I think Chester looked jealous xD. It was, um...odd xD. JEALOUSCHESTERFIC! xD.

During Bleed it Out, Rob's drum solo was fucking amazing. You could feel the vibrations from the drums all the way in like the back of the pit. It was fuckin' amazing. Rob looked really hot too. Like hotter then usual O.o. I don't know what it was. I think it was just because I was seeing him in person for the first time or something. Lol, then when the song started Joe's lookin' all lost and he goes over to Rob's other drum set and starts like quietly playing xD. Haha it was funny. He's such a dork xP. I also think he's a very underrated member of LP. He should get more credit.

Overall, it was an amazing night and of course, right before they leave, Chester says, "TAMPA, YOU'VE BEEN THE BEST FUCKING CROWD OF THE TOUR!" I know he probably says that for every show but it still made me feel special xD.

Then as we're getting out things started to get ugly. A bunch of people come back from the enterace, "THEY WON'T LET US OUT!" And dude, the moshers all like went WAY up in the front and I didn't see what happened but I can imagine what happened to that gate xD. Seriously, whoever made that rule about the gates was stupid. Did they honestly think that we wouldn't get out that way if we came in that way? They got what was coming for them.

Of course, as my dad and I are leaving premium parking (which, mind you, was totally worth the extra 20 bucks. NOBODY was there. We got out rather quickly) we see like cop cars going towards the gates by the regular parking =P.

As we were driving back to the hotel, I started like giving my dad the overview about Linkin Park, ya know? How they started, how everyone met, and he actually did seem pretty interested. Lol, what I was most happy about is all the compliments he gave the band for the great performance. He's like, "You know why I think they're so good? They're not all fucked up on drugs." xDD. Of course,  I agreed cause I know LP doesn't do drugs. I told him about the pact I believe they made not to do drugs after how much it fucked up Chester's childhood.

The only bad part of the night was when we went to the gas station and there were like 5 guys there and they only got like one thing and they were just hanging around there...I swear I think they were gonna hold the place up. So, my dad and I got out of there ASAP. It was scary O.o.

Overall it was a great night. Best fucking night of my life. I'll never forget about it :). I can't talk today though. And everything's sore but meh. It's worth it.

I was bored. And listening to Flyleaf on Youtube and I thought I'd post a blog about em. Christian rock. Great band. Hot lead singer....seriously, Lacey is like...wow hot, ok? I didn't know someone THAT hot could be THAT talented xD.

Seriously, I've watched Sorrow, I'm So Sick, Breathe Today, All Around Me,andFully Alive more times then I can count but every time it's the SAME reaction.

Reaction to the music: This is Christian rock? Damn, they're good at making Christianity look better then it really is xD. (Seriously though, their music rocks. You should listen to them.)

Reaction to Lacey: OMFGSEXYORGASMWTFOMFG :).

She's one hot Christian lead singer. ;)

The band itself...can't really put in in words haha.

Sorrow:


Comments: The setting creeps me out. I think Lacey made it out alive in the end....yeah...she did. xD


I'm So Sick:


A couple things about this one: I love the bass line at the beginning. So chilling. Then Lacey's voice...holy shit, I didn't know a girl could do that xD.


Breathe Today:


Comments: Oddly enough, it's not Lacey that turns me on in this video. It's the energy of the band behind her. OMFG the bass player goes CRAAAZY the entire time. It's amazing. I wonder if he's that wild in bed *shot* xD.



Fully Alive


Comments: I love Lacey's dress. And I love the setting. The song itself reminds me of myself oddly enough O_o.


All Around Me:


Comments: :)





Yeah, I know, random but meh. I was bored and Flyleaf doesn't get enough credit so I thought I'd spread the word a bit. Tell your friends! :)


PS: They need to make a new album. Seriously xD.