http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRXaxz4a-bs

The Tenderloins have been accepted into the 2009 New York Television Festival! Check out the trailer for our new pilot here:

Dear Tenderloins Fans,

So, Brian and I were sitting in the Times Square Red Lobster last night, as we often do. It's our go-to place, and it always delivers. I must say, my past few trips to Red Lobster have just been the best. Delicious Cheddar Bay Biscuits (where is this infamous Cheddar Bay?), crisp salad, a pound and a half of Alaskan snow crab legs, adorable little forks, a baked potato and an iced tea. The only thing that would have made it better is if I got to make sweet love after dinner. But alas, Brian wasn't putting out.

But, we did catch up on a few things. First, this blog. It occurred to us that we haven't posted a TenderBlog in quite a while, so I told Brian I'd take a stab at it – my first ever TenderBlog. Hell, my first ever blog at all. Unless you consider my high school marble notebook diary a "blog."

Second, you may be wondering what the fuck the Tenderloins have been up to. Good question, cupcake. Here's the abbreviated version.

Brian just got back from Key West, is writing his novel, playing video games, collecting comics, and drinking.

Joe is wining and dining beautiful women, editing 2 of the sketches in our Spike TV pilot, wearing his comfy pants, playing video games, and not drinking.

Sal is wondering why 3 Russian men are standing in his basement apartment, is sorting the goods he has to sell on eBay, sleeps on his bouch, and mostly drinks orange juice.

And as for me? I've been just delightful, thanks for asking. How are you? Did you ever make up with your boyfriend? Oh, and did Janice ever pay you back? I can't believe you bailed her out again.

So anyways, some of you may be asking, "Hey, what's going on with the tv show, fellas?" And to that, I say this – the production company is still editing the pilot, hoping to hand it in to Spike in the next few weeks. Ah, tv. It's a long, awesome, somewhat painful process. That's what she said.

By the way, I must confess to you, oh blog, that sitting across from me on the subway is a grown woman picking her nose. C'mon. This is 2008. Really? I caught you, bitch. This is the subway, there's no hiding shit like that from public view.

You may also be asking, "Hey fellas, any new sketches in the works?" And to that, I say…yes. The Tloins are having a pow wow on Monday to plan our next steps, which will undoubtedly be glorious and funny.

OK, this chick is staring at me. She knows that I just wrote about her. This is awkward now. You know what, SHE made it awkward, not me. Screw you, nose picker.

OK, the woman to my right looks like she's wearing a Halloween costume, but alas, that's just the way she actually looks. Oh, that's just sad. Poor dear.

You know what, I'm going to tell you about everyone on the R train right now. Allow me to paint a picture for you…

There are 2 Arab kids to my left, that have been fumbling with their backpacks. The New Yorker in me was immediately concerned they might be terrorists, until they pulled out their Calculus textbooks. And then I realized I was just racist. OK, they just got off the train, either to blow up a landmark, or more likely to take their Calc BC exam.

Sitting 2 rows over is a girl that clearly thinks Molly Ringwold is still a sex symbol.

Across from me is the Indian version of Mickey Mouse. Imagine an Indian Mickey Mouse with long side burns, no joke. If Mickey Mouse and Elvis had a threesome with an Indian chick, this guy would pop out 9 months later.

A man that clearly beats his wife just sat next to me.

A woman across from me apparently thinks Monica Lewinsky hats are still in fashion, which they never were.

The nose picker just got off the train.

A 70-year-old woman is trying to navigate through her Blackberry. Oh, it's painful to watch.

Molly Ringwold just got off the train.

Bombay Mickey Mouse is looking antsy. The R train, people, it's pretty slow. Hey, the Magic Kingdom wasn't built in a day, buddy. Patience. Oh, I love Orlando.

The gentleman diagonal from me is not George Lopez…but he wishes he was.

The 70 year old gave up on this newfangled "technology."

Wow. That's an ugly guy. Wait…that's a girl. Wow.

OK, looking around, I must say…and please don't think me an asshole…but this is one ugly train. Seriously. Looking around, I can honestly say…I probably wouldn't have sex with anyone on this train.

What have we learned so far? I'm racist, and apparently an arrogant asshole.

Mickey Mouse just left the train. Next stop, Epcot Center.

A dude just sat next to me, and asked smarmily, "You get internet on this train?" Then he smirked in such a douche-like way. No sir. I'm not surfing the net. I'm actually blogging about YOU.

Aw, a puppy!

Ah, I stand corrected. I would have sex with that girl. Of course, the trickier question is, would she have sex with me? No doubt she's a member of an all-female comedy troupe that's blogging right now about how she would never have sex with anyone on this train. Whatever. How dare she judge us, the masses. She's clearly racist and arrogant.

Alright, here's my stop people. I must say, I feel closer to you, oh Tenderloins fans, having taken you along on a virtual journey of my morning commute. I hope you enjoyed it, and stay tuned for some funny stuff coming your way.

Ok, the dude across from me looks like the skinny version of Meatloaf. No sir, that is not a compliment.

Love,
James
The Tenderloins

Hi all, thanks for checking out our page!!  The Tenderloins are a Sketch and Improv Comedy troupe from New York City.  We've been featured by MySpace the last few weeks and thus have had our work introduced to many new people.  We just want to THANK all of you so much for taking the time to view our vids and send all the great comments and support our way!  Especially to those of you who've requested us as friends, forwarded our vids to others, and posted our stuff on your page!  Its been a busy few weeks, but we've been checking in and have noticed all the support.  We hope to speak to all of you as soon as we get a moment, and hope you come back to the page as we are busting our asses to get up new material on a weekly basis.  For the new peeps, we are always eager to hear what people have to say, so please drop us a message, check out our vids and friend request us. 

THANKS AGAIN ALL, WE REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!!! 

Check out our website for more about us:
The Tenderloins Website