I'M WRITING THIS ON FRIDAY NIGHT...IT'S LATE...
OK...HERE WE GO...
SO LAST NIGHT...THURSDAY...AROUND 3AM, MY GIRLFRIEND SONA SPED MY CAR DOWN THE 101 FREEWAY HERE IN LOS ANGELES, WHILE I RODE SHOTGUN. I WAS CRYING...APOLOGIZING...SHAKING... PANICKING...SKITTISH... SIPPING FROM A PLASTIC "SMART WATER" WATER BOTTLE. MY WINDOW WAS ROLLED DOWN AND THE WIND WAS COLLIDING WITH MY FACE. YES...LIKE A BIG GERMAN SHEPHERD. KINDA'.
I WAS HAVING A SEVERE PANIC ATTACK -- LIKE A BAD TRIP.
I STRUGGLED TO MAINTAIN A NORMAL HEARTBEAT. SONA FORCEFULLY ENCOURAGED ME TO INHALE AND EXHALE INTO AN EMPTY JACK N' THE BOX DRIVE-THRU BAG. THE BROWN LUNCH BAG TYPE. I WASN'T TOO KEEN ON THE LINGERING SMELL OF PITA SNACKS AND FRENCH FRIES, BUT HEY...WHAT-ARE-YOU-GONNA'-DO. WHEN SHIT HITS THE FAN, YOU DO WHAT YOU GOTTA' DO.
MOVING ALONG...
FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN A LONGWHILE, I WAS SCARED. I WAS NERVOUS. I WAS OUT OF IT MAN. I JUST WANTED THIS UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCE TO BE OVER AS QUICK AS POSSIBLE. STAB ME. SHOOT ME. THROW ME OUT OF THE CAR. JUST END IT HERE. THAT'S HOW I FELT.
JUST 1 HOUR EARLIER, AT 2AM, THE TWO OF US HAD LEFT A PARTY I WAS THROWING IN HOLLYWOOD...WHEN LIFE WAS GOOD...WHEN MY BODY AND MIND WERE PERFECTLY NORMAL. OVER 500 PEOPLE ATTENDED. IT WAS FUN. WE DO IT EVERY THURSDAY. ALL OUR FRIENDS GATHER FOR A GREAT NIGHT OF DANCING, DRINKS, CONVERSATION, AND WHATEVER ELSE PEOPLE DO INSIDE A NIGHTCLUB.
SO BACK TO MY LITTLE "EPISODE" HERE. OUR CAR ENTERED THE DRIVEWAY OF THE SHERMAN OAKS HOSPITAL -- OPEN 24/7 WITH THE RED "EMERGENCY ROOM" SIGN OUTSIDE.
SONA AND I GOT OUT OF THE CAR...MADE OUR WAY INSIDE, INTO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. I CONTINUED TO HYPERVENTILATE, WHICH I DON'T DO VERY OFTEN. ACTUALLY...FOR THE RECORD...I'VE NEVER HAD THIS HAPPEN TO ME BEFORE.
SO...I'M GONNA' FAST FORWARD HERE. NOTHING TRULY INTERESTING TOOK PLACE INSIDE THE HOSPITAL. YOU'RE NOT MISSING OUT. MUST HAVE BEEN A SLOW NIGHT. I GUESS THAT'S GOOD FOR THE CITY.
SO YA...THE HOSPITAL CURED ME WITH ONE SINGLE FUCKING PILL AND A DIXIE CUP-SIZE THING OF WATER. THEY LAID ME DOWN ON A GURNEY, TALKED TO ME, WROTE SOME INFO DOWN, KEPT ME THERE FOR AN HOUR OR SO UNTIL I WAS CLEARED OF MY UNWANTED "DEMONS."
THANKS TO SONA FOR TAKING CARE OF ME. SHE WAS GREAT. I LOVE HER DEARLY.
WE GOT HOME AT 6AM, LAID IN BED, AND DRIFTED OFF INTO SLEEPY LAND.
PANIC ATTACKS ARE FRIGHTENING, AS I DISCOVERED AND I NOW EMPATHIZE WITH THOSE OF YOU WHO GO THROUGH IT. IT SUCKS. YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE DYING AND/OR THAT YOU'RE ON THE VERGE OF FATALITY. THE DOCTOR ASSURED ME THAT THOSE "I'M DYING" FEELINGS WERE ALL IN MY HEAD. I GUESS HE WAS RIGHT. NO MORE POT FOR A WHILE.
I DIDN'T WANT TO MENTION IT...BUT I TOOK A SMALL HIT OF WEED SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THE CLUB AND THE HOSPITAL AND HAD A BAD TRIP. NOT GONNA' GET INTO "THOSE" PARTICULARS. AND YES...I ADMITTED DOING SO TO THE DOCTOR. AND NO...IT WASN'T MY FIRST TIME WITH THE "PUFF PUFF." I'VE JUST BEEN REALLY FUCKIN' EXHAUSTED LATELY FROM ALL I'VE BEEN DOING AND I THINK THIS TIME, MY MIND JUST WASN'T READY TO ENJOY THE RIDE -- SO TO SPEAK.
ANYWAY...I FEEL 100% NOW. THANKFULLY. AND I WON'T BE DOING NONE-OF-THAT FOR A WHILE NOW.
OK...ENUF...MOVING ON...
I'LL TALK ABOUT MY SUMMER...IT'S BEEN A GOOD ONE...BOTH PROFESSIONALLY AND PERSONALLY. FORTUNTAELY, MY BUSINESS IS BOOMING AND I GOT A GIRL WHO STILL LOVES ME AFTER 3 YEARS OF BEING TOGETHER. I REMEMBER THE DAYS...NOT TOO LONG AGO...WHEN I HAD NEITHER. SO TRUST ME...I APPRECIATE IT. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
...I MOVED INTO A NEW PLACE A FEW MONTHS AGO. MY CAT [PEANUT] AND I LIKE IT A LOT. WE UPGRADED. I NEEDED MORE SPACE. THE NEW PAD = NEW FURNITURE, NEW BED, NEW FLATSCREEN, NEW ARTWORK INCLUDING SOME OF MY POP'S STUFF, A FULLY STOCKED REFRIDGERATOR (THANK GOD!), A WALK-IN CLOSET, THREE BALCONIES, ALARM SYSTEM, UNDERGROUND PARKING, LAUNDRY... LIVING LIKE DONALD TRUMP BABY!! HAHA. UHMM...NOT REALLY...I'M BEING SARCASTIC IF YA COULDN'T TELL. BUT YA...IT'S A NICE LITTLE COZY PLACE. HOPE TO STAY HERE FOR A COUPLE YEARS MORE, THEN UPGRADE AGAIN. THAT'S THE PLAN.
MY COMPANY...JIN&QUINN - SPECIAL EVENTS COMPANY HERE IN LOS ANGELES IS DOING VERY WELL - DUE TO THE RELENTLESS WORK MY PARTNER JIN YU AND I HAVE PUT INTO IT. TOGETHER, AS A 2 MAN OPERATION, WE'RE THROWING 3 REALLY FUN AND GREAT PARTIES A WEEK HERE IN TOWN. WE'RE HAVING OUR PARTIES IN 3 LOCAL LOUNGES AND NIGHTCLUBS. YOU MAY HAVE HEARD ABOUT THEM OR SEEN SOME OF THE ACTION OF TMZ. THE PARTIES ARE A LOT OF FUN AND QUITE POPULAR WITH THE "KIDS" AS THEY SAY. THE RED CARPET EVENTS ARE REALLY OUR BREAD AND BUTTER THOUGH -- BUT WE LIKE EM' BOTH. C'MON, WHAT'S THERE REALLY NOT TO LIKE, RIGHT? AS LONG AS I'M NOT DIGGING DITCHES OR CLOCK-WATCHING AT A NINE-TO-FIVE JOB, I'M A HAPPY CAMPER. I LOVE BEING MY OWN BOSS! IT'S AMAZING. IT'S AMAZING WHAT JIN AND I HAVE BUILT AND WE'RE BOTH VERY PROUD OF HOW FAR WE'VE COME IN ONLY A YEAR OF DOING BUSINESS TOGETHER. YA...FEEL FREE TO TAKE A PEAK AT WHAT WE DO BY LOOKING AT OUR JIN&QUINN MYSPACE PAGE -- IT'S NUMBER ONE ON MY TOP FRIENDS. JUST CLICK ON IT...
BUT...I GOTTA' FOREWARN YOU...IT'S A BUSINESS PAGE -- WHERE WE REALLY ONLY ADD MOSTLY LADIES LIVING IN LOS ANGELES THAT LIKE TO PARTY, SO DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY FELLA'S IF YOU DON'T MAKE THE CUT. LIKE I SAID...IT'S BUSINESS...
ALRIGHT...SO, MY NEXT TOPIC...
...I STARTED THE SUMMER WEIGHING IN AT A CHUBBY 235 POUNDS. CHUBBY FOR MY STANDARDS...OR MY EXPECTATIONS OF MYSELF. I'M 6 FEET TALL. MY WAIST SIZE WAS 38. MY SHIRTS WERE LARGE OR EXTRA LARGE. I WASN'T TOO "PROUD" WHEN I LOOKED AT MY NAKED BODY IN THE MIRROR -- IT WAS UNPLEASANT TO ME. I MEAN...I USED TO BE AN ACTIVE ATHLETE -- TENNIS WAS MY MAIN SPORT, BUT I'M NOT TOO SHABBY AT THE OTHER SPORTS THAT WE'VE ALL GROWN UP PLAYING HERE IN AMERICA. I LOVE SPORTS. I'LL PLAY ANYTHING.
SO ANYWAY...TODAY I'M 195 POUNDS. WAIST SIZE IS NOW A 30 OR 32. MY SHIRTS ARE NOW A SMALL OR MEDIUM. YA...I LOST 40 POUNDS IN WHAT...3 OR 4 MONTHS?...I LOST QUITE A BIT OF WEIGHT...TRAINING IN THE GYM, FIVE DAYS A WEEK WITH MY PERSONAL TRAINER AND FRIEND - RONNIE.
NOT MY FIRST TIME LOSING A LOT OF WEIGHT. I LOST 100 POUNDS AFTER COLLEGE. BUT THAT'S A WHOLE NOTHER STORY IN ITSELF.
WHAT'S THE SECRET TO WEIGHTLOSS YOU MAY BE ASKING YOURSELF? FOR ME...IT WAS...AND CONTINUES TO BE 20 MINUTES ON THE STAIRMASTER. 30 MINUTES OF WEIGHTS AND THE REST DOING PULL-UP'S. PUSH-UP'S. LEG LIFTS. SIT-UPS, ETC...
I ROUTINELY EAT LEAN GROUND CHICKEN AND LEAN GROUND TURKEY, COOKING IT MYSELF AT HOME. RONNIE TOLD ME TO ELIMINATE ALCOHOL FROM MY DIET AND I DID. HE SAID DRINKING ALCOHOL DURING WEIGHT LOSS AINT A GOOD IDEA. I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT AND I OF COURSE IMMEDIATELY OBLIGED. OK...SO NO MORE BOOZE. CUT THAT OUT COMPLETELY. I EAT VEGETABLES. I EAT SALADS. I TAKE A COUPLE NATUAL SUPPLEMENTS -- THE BASICS. NOTHING CRAZY AND DEFINITELY NOTHING ILLEGAL. HAHA. NO THANKS. OH...I ALSO HAVE A SLIGHT DIET COKE ADDICTION NOW-A-DAYS. YA DUDE...I NEVER USED TO BE TOO MUCH INTO SODA'S BUT FOR SOME REASON, I REALLY CRAVE DIET COKE THESE DAYS. THAT'S NEW FOR ME. OH...AND ALSO...EVERYDAY I DRINK GALLONS OF WATER WITH LEMON JUICE. MAKES ME GO PEE PEE A LOT, WHICH CAN BE A PAIN IN THE ASS IF I'M IN THE CAR, BUT IT'S GOOD FOR ME. MY PEE IS CLEAR. THAT'S A GOOD SIGN. SORRY FOR THE VISUAL. DON'T GET ME STARTED ON GOING NUMBER 2. BECAUSE...THAT'S GOING GREAT FOR ME AS WELL...BUT AGAIN...I'LL SPARE YOU THE DETAILS.
LOOK, I'M NOT A TRAINER AND I DON'T HAVE LICENSE TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO, BUT FOR ME IT'S ALL ABOUT DISCIPLINE, CONSISTENCY AND COOKING YOUR OWN MEALS AT HOME. THAT'S THE BASIC IDEA. WE ALL KNOW WHAT'S "GOOD" TO EAT AND WHAT'S NOT GOOD TO EAT. WHEN YOU CHOOSE THE GOOD MUCH MORE OFTEN THAN YOU CHOOSE THE BAD, YOU'LL BE FINE. COMBINE THAT WITH DAILY EXCERCISE AND CONSISTENT WATER CONSUMPTION AND YOU'LL DO YOURSELF A GREAT SERVICE AS FAR AS LOSING WEIGHT AND FEELING A LOT BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF GOES.
ALRIGHT? OK...
...NEXT TOPIC...
SO...I'VE BEEN TOLD THAT I'M GOING TO BE PROFILED IN GQ MAGAZINE SOON. NOT THE AMERICAN VERSION -- THE GERMAN VERSION. BUT STILL -- KINDA' COOL RIGHT? I'M HALF GERMAN. I SPEAK IT FLUENTLY. MY MOTHER IS GERMAN. SOME PEOPLE KNOW ME IN GERMANY. SO...IT'S NOT TOTALLY RANDOM...
I'LL POST THE ARTICLE ON MYSPACE WHEN IT GETS PUBLISHED. IT MIGHT BE A WHILE, BUT DEFINITELY I'LL LET YOU KNOW.
...NEXT TOPIC...
WHAT IS THE NEXT TOPIC? SHIT...I DON'T KNOW...I'M JUST KINDA' RAMBLING HERE. LOOK GUYS, LIFE IS GOOD RIGHT NOW. I'M REALLY THANKFUL OF THAT. IT HASN'T ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY FOR ME, AS SOME OF YOU MAY KNOW. I'VE GONE THROUGH SOME SHIT IN MY DAY. BUT THEN AGAIN...WE ALL HAVE I GUESS. IT'S JUST HOW YOU HANDLE IT. AT TIMES I HANDLED IT BETTER THAN OTHER TIMES.
I'D LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT I'VE WORKED VERY HARD TO BE WHERE I AM TODAY AND I GOTTA' SAY....I'M NOT EVEN NEARLY CLOSE TO WHERE I'D LIKE TO BE "WHEN I GROW UP". BUT THINGS ARE LOOKIN' GOOD AND IT LOOKS LIKE I'M WELL ON MY WAY TO BE WHERE I WANNA' GO WITH MY LIFE -- IN A FORWARD DIRECTION. THANK GOD! I'M SO RELIEVED! I ALWAYS PRAYED FOR IT, SINCE I'VE BEEN WORKING A JOB SINCE THE AGE OF 16...I JUST ALWAYS WANTED BETTER. NOTHING IS HANDED TO YOU AND NOTHING WAS HANDED TO ME. I WAS BORN WITH A FAMOUS LAST NAME...QUINN. MY FATHER WAS VERY SUCCESSFUL IN HIS CAREER. AND HE EARNED THAT. HE WORKED HIS ASS OFF -- EVERY SINGLE DAY UNTIL HIS DEATH IN 2001. (1915-2001). NOT ME. I DIDN'T EARN THE RIGHT TO BE "SOMEONE". MY NAME IS ALEX QUINN...NOT ANTHONY QUINN. TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT PEOPLE WHO SHARE THE SAME BLOOD AND FAMILY MEMBERS. FUCK MAN, TALK ABOUT A DIFFICULT LIFE. GOOGLE HIM...READ HIS STORY. IT'S EPIC!!! HE DID THINGS WITH HIS LIFE THAT MOST PEOPLE COULDN'T AND DON'T DO, NOR IMAGINE TO DO IN THREE OR FOUR LIFETIMES. HE WAS TRULY AN INCREDIBLE MAN WHO LED A MYTHOLOGICAL-LIKE LIFE. A HEROIC TALE. I LOVED HIM DEEPLY, WHETHER HE KNEW IT OR NOT. WELL...HE KNOWS IT NOW...IN SPIRIT. I HAD SO MUCH RESPECT FOR MY FATHER'S WORK ETHIC. HE WAS SUCH AN EXAMPLE FOR SO MANY. HE WAS THE CONSTANT CREATOR - A WORK HORSE - OLD SCHOOL.
LIKE I SAID, IF YOU DON'T KNOW...OR MAYBE YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO KNOW ABOUT MY FATHER'S LIFE, JUST GOOGLE HIM AND YOU'LL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT; 2 ACADEMY AWARDS, COUNTLESS PROFESSIONAL ACCOLADES, OVER 250 MOVIES, CREATED OVER 1000 ORIGINAL ART PIECES, AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON...AND ON AND ON. ACTUALLY...JUST GO TO HIS WEBSITE TO GET A SAMPLE OF HIS LEGENDARY LIFELONG JOURNEY, WWW.ANTHONYQUINN.COM.
SO...YA...ANYWAY...WELL, WITHOUT SOUNDING TOO PREACHY...
I LIKE TO DREAM. IT'S KIND OF A HOBBY FOR ME. WE ALL DREAM. BUT SOME PEOPLE NEVER DO BEYOND THAT. THEY JUST DREAM. I LOVE MAKING MY DREAMS COME TRUE -- LITTLE ONE'S. IT TURNS ME ON. REALISTIC DREAMS. BABY STEPS. ONES THAT COULD HAPPEN...I INSIST THAT THEY HAPPEN AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO MY VERY BEST TO MANIFEST THEM AND MAKE THEM HAPPEN.
AS I'VE LEARNED OR WITNESSED VIA MY FATHER AND OTHERS, DREAMS REQUIRE A LOT OF WORK - OBVIOUSLY. IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER, DREAMS REQUIRE DIPLOMACY. DREAMS REQUIRE POSITIVE ENERGY. DREAMS REQUIRE SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH GOOD PEOPLE AND WISE PEOPLE. MAKING YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE REQUIRES OBSERVING OTHERS...OBSERVING THEM LIKE AN ACTOR STUDIES A CHARACTER....AND STUDYING LIFE AND LEARNING FROM MISTAKES THAT YOU'VE MADE OR OTHER'S HAVE MADE. CONSTANTLY KEEPING AN OPEN MIND AND ALWAYS GOING WITH YOUR GUT. TREAT PEOPLE WITH RESPECT. GIVE PEOPLE A FAIR SHOT. RESPECT THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO AGREE WITH THEM, BUT LISTEN TO THEM. TAKE THE INITIATIVE IN LIFE. PICK YOUR BATTLES. HELP PEOPLE. MINIMIZE ARGUMENTS AND BAD ENERGY. SMILE A LOT. ATTACK EACH DAY AS IT'S YOUR LAST. DANCE IF YOU WANNA' DANCE. BE NAKED IF YOU WANT BE NAKED. FORM YOUR OWN OPINIONS AFTER CAREFUL STUDY AND INFORMATION DIGESTION. DRESS NICELY. DON'T CENSOR YOURSELF TOO MUCH. FREE YOUR SOUL OF ITS INNER DEMONS. TELL SOMEONE YOUR SECRETS. SHARE YOUR DEEPEST THOUGHTS. TELL SOMEONE YOUR FANTASIES. BECOME AN OPEN BOOK. DON'T BULLSHIT PEOPLE AND CERTAINLY DON'T BULLSHIT YOURSELF. BE HUMBLE. EXPERIENCE HUMILITY - OVER AND OVER AGAIN. BE GRACEFUL AND LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH CLASS. GO OUT THERE AND GET WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE. STOP LIVING FOR OTHER PEOPLE. DON'T LIVE YOUR LIFE TO PLEASE OTHERS -- IT SHOULD COME NATURALLY AS A PART OF YOUR SOUL, IN AN ORGANIC KINDA' WAY...YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING. JUST DON'T BE A FRAUD. BE REAL. BE TACTFUL. SOMETIME'S I FIND IT BENEFICIAL TO MIRROR VARIOUS QUALITIES ABOUT MYSELF AFTER OTHERS...WHEN I "NEED" TO. FOR EXAMPLE, SOMETIMES WHEN I'M IN A BIND...ALTHOUGH IT SOUNDS PRETTY CORNY...I SAY TO MYSELF, "HMMM...WHAT WOULD MY POP DO IN THIS SITUATION?" OR "WHAT WOULD FRANK SINTRA DO?" OR "WHAT WOULD BILL CLINTON DO?" OR...WHOEVER...YOU GET MY POINT.
IT'S ALL ABOUT MAINTAINING A BALANCE.
AM I SOUNDING TOO PREACHY?? SORRY.
...'CUZ TRUST ME...I'M NOT PERFECT. MY GIRLFRIEND, FRIENDS, AND FAMILY WILL TELL YOU THAT -- THAT I'M FAR FROM IT AT TIMES. BUT I GOTTA' SAY I REALLY DO TRY TO BE PERFECT. HELL -- WHY NOT?? EVEN IF YOU FALL SHORT, YOU'LL ALWAYS BE CHASING PERFECTION. AND WE ALL SLIP OCCASIONALLY. OF COURSE WE DO. THAT'S ONLY NATURAL. WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEINGS LIVING IN A FAST NEW WORLD WITH PLENTY OF IMMEDIATE DISTRACTIONS AND TEMPTATIONS...AND WE ALL KNOW...SHIT JUST HAPPENS. WE FUCK UP FROM TIME TO TIME. BUT WE WAKE UP EACH DAY, WITH A CHANCE FOR A NEW BEGINNING -- A CHANCE TO START OVER AND A CHANCE TO MAKE "TODAY" AS GOOD AS YESTERDAY.
ANYWAY...MOVING FORWARD WITH MY JIBBER JABBER...
OK...YA...SO HERE'S THE PART WHERE THE "NAKED WOMEN EVERYWHERE" THING COMES INTO PLAY...
SO CHECK IT OUT...I'VE BEEN THINKING -- NOT TOO HARD ABOUT THIS PARTICULAR THING...BUT I'VE BEEN THINKING. AND I'M JUST SAYING...BEFORE I DIE AS AN OLD FART...I WOULD LIKE TO OWN A VERY LARGE PIECE OF LAND IN MONTANA OR SOMEHWHERE. AND ON THIS LAND OF WHICH I SPEAK, I WANNA' SURROUND MYSELF WITH NAKED PEOPLE. I JUST DO. DON'T ASK ME WHY. IT'S JUST SOMETHING THAT "DOES IT FOR ME".
HAHA.
SO YA...THAT'S WHAT I WANT. RESPECTFUL NAKED PEOPLE EVERYWHERE WHO JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK. CALL ME CRAZY BUT WHY CAN'T I ALLOW MYSELF THIS ONE GUILTY PLEASURE? WOULDN'T IT BE A BLAST?? HAHA. HOW AMAZING WOULD IT BE.
OR MAYBE IT'S JUST 5AM RIGHT NOW AND I'M GOING A LITTLE KOO-KOO. I THINK THAT'S DEFINITELY FACTORING IN...
SO..LET'S SEE...OK...I'LL GET CREATIVE HERE. I'M COMMIT TO THIS "DREAM" FOR A SECOND FOR MY OWN ENTERTAINMENT. I'D PUT IN A TROPICAL SWIMMING POOL. I'D BUILD MAYBE LIKE 20 PRIVATE HOTEL ROOMS OR COTTAGES FOR MY FRIENDS AND GUESTS. I'D PLANT BEAUTIFUL TROPICAL TREE'S EVERYWHERE. I'D PUT LOTS OF MANICURED GRASS EVERYWHERE. LUSH LANDSCAPE. I'VE HAVE PAID STAFF MEMBERS WALKING AROUND IN BLACK SNEAKERS WITH BLACK SHOE-LACES. OK...MAYBE THAT'S A BIT LAME...BUT I WANT STAFF MEMBERS!! HAHA. STAFF MEMBERS JUST MAKE IT A BIT MORE "LEGIT" AND LUXURIOUS, YOU KNOW? YA...SO, I'LL HAVE CONSTANT MUSIC PLAYING THROUGHOUT THE PROPERTY -- AT A LOW-LEVEL OF COURSE. HIDE THE SPEAKERS IN THE ROSE BUSHES. HAHA. CLEANLINESS WILL BE CRUCIAL. A MUST. DEFINITELY. THING'S GOTTA' BE CLEAN AND MAINTAINED -- LIKE A YEP HIGH DOLLAR PRIVATE GOLF CLUB. I'LL PUT IN ALL THE BELLS AND WHISTLES -- MY OWN 5-STAR RESORT--LIKE A NUDIST SHANGRI-LA WHERE VISITORS ARE REQUIRED TO BE NUDE IN SOME CAPACITY.
...WOW -- WHERE AM I GOING WITH THIS??....
LOOK...EVERYONE HAS CRAZY IDEAS. THIS IS MINE FOR THE MOMENT. YOU CAN'T FAULT ME FOR BEING HONEST. AND...TO BE HONEST...I SEE NO REAL RYHME OR REASON WHY I CAN'T GO AHEAD AND DO THIS. YEP - I'M GONNA' FIND ME AN INVESTOR AND BUILD THIS LUXIOUS PRIVATELY OWNED NUDIST RESORT, WHERE'S LIFE'S ONLY PROBLEM IS GETTING STUNG BY A BEE ON YOUR PEE PEE.
SO...OK GUYS...ON THAT NOTE...I THINK I'M DONE. I SAID MY PIECE. I SAID WHAT MY FINGER'S DECIDED TO TYPE. I DECIDED TONIGHT THAT I WOULD TYPE WHAT MY MIND CREATED...AND I DID JUST THAT. SURE...IT'S NOTHING BRILLIANT NOR PERFECTLY EDITED... JUST SOME RANDOM BANTER THAT'S BEEN LIVING INSIDE OF MY 31 YEAR OLD MIND.
I USED TO BLOG MORE OFTEN, BUT I JUST TRULY DON'T HAVE THE TIME ANYMORE. SONA SAYS SHE LIKES WHEN I WRITE. SHE SAYS SHE LIKES TO READ MY WORDS AND HOW I POSITION THEM TOGETHER. I GOTTA SAY...I REALLY DO ENJOY WRITING. IT'S QUITE THERAPEUTIC, AS YOU CAN IMAGINE.
SO HERE YA' GO. I WROTE SOMETHING FOR HER AND FOR EVERYONE ELSE...AND I GUESS, FOR MYSELF AS WELL. I NEEDED TO DO THIS. I NEEDED TO VERBALLY MASTERBATE, SO TO SPEAK.
...I GUESS THE WHOLE WORLD DIDN'T HAVE TO NECESSARILY BE PRIVY TO IT, BUT I'D BE A FRAUD IF I DIDN'T SHARE...
.........LIFE IS GOOD. I'M SO HAPPY IT TURNED OUT TO BE OKAY, AT LEAST FOR NOW. I STILL HAVE A LONGGGG WAY TO GO, BUT I'M HEALTHY AGAIN AND MY MERRY-GO-ROUND MIND CONTINUES TO BEAR ME GIFTS OF NEW AND FRESH IDEAS AND DREAMS AND FANTASIES AND GOALS. I'M VERY SERIOUS ABOUT MY LIFE AND I'M AS FOCUSED AS I'VE EVER BEEN....AND THAT'S A GOOD SIGN...
I HAVE A CLEARER SENSE OF DIRECTION NOW...
IT'S REALLY BEEN A BUMPY ROAD FOR ME...SINCE HIGH SCHOOL IT'S BEEN TOUCH-AND-GO, BUT THINGS ARE THANKFULLY SHAPING UP...AND I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE REST OF ADVENTURE...THE ADVENTURE THAT IS MY LIFE....AND GROWING INTO THE MAN THAT I ALWAYS HOPED AND OR DESIRED TO BECOME...YET STILL...A WORK IN PROGRESS...
GOOD NIGHT AND GOD BLESS. KEEP THE DREAM ALIVE!
-ALEX
MY APOLOGIES TO ANY GRAMMAR OR SPELLING NAZI'S FOR TYPOS AND THINGS THAT I MAY HAVE OVERLOOKED...I'M TIRED...