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.NEVER//WIN.(v4.2)



Last Updated: 3/20/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 20
Sign: Gemini

City: Hornchurch
State: London and South East
Country: UK
Signup Date: 4/7/2005

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Blog Archive
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Monday, April 17, 2006 

Current mood:  awake
I _____ Charlotte.
Charlotte is _____.
Charlotte needs ______.
I want to _____ Charlotte.
Charlotte can ______.
Someday Charlotte will _______.
Charlotte reminds me of _______.
Without Charlotte, _________.
Charlotte can be _______.
Charlotte is always _______.
If Charlotte kissed me I would ________
Worst thing about Charlotte is ________.
Best thing about Charlotte is ________.
I think Charlotte should _________.
Right now, I bet Charlotte is thinking about _______.
Charlotte makes me want to _______.
Charlotte probably tastes like ________.
If I could spend the day with Charlotte, I'd ____________.
I'd ______ for Charlotte.
If Charlotte asked me out I would ______
Charlotte is the _________.
I want to give Charlotte a ________.
The song _____ by _____ reminds me of Charlotte.
Monday, January 09, 2006 
Wednesday, November 09, 2005 

charlotte is really short,

and also likes to snort

sherbert in her lunch times

and makes good limericks that rhyme

word; port.

 

PROOF.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 

(An epic emo song composed in Archaeology by Charlotte, Becky, Adam and Bill)

We are uber great, yes? This is typed up exactly as it was written. :D

 

 

The bottoms of my jeans are ruined

I knew I should have rolled them up

I only have myself to blame

As these tears fall into my coffee cup

my converses are soggy

and the edges of my jeans are frayed

 

know I am afraid

My nipples are hard

I'll give you my card

 

the constitution of my hatred

this destiny is fated

!Burn!

 

I want to suck

a rubber duck

My nipples are hard

and I'm of lard

 

I like bagels because the hole

reminds me of the void in my soul

you remind me of bread

& you're stuck in my head

I once had a pet rock, his name was Tarquin

Then some twat from my archaeology class stole him

He was the first and only friend I ever had

Oh my life is so depressingly sad

*emo sigh*

 

Die Die Die my tarquin don't utter a single word

Die Die Die my tarquin Just shut your pretty crevice

ill be suing you again ill be suing you Again

i;ll be seeing you in Hell, or archaeology

 

"hows the song coming along"

"shut up, you're not emo enough"

 

My nipples are hard

I had a turd yard

And you're a retard.

 

I have writers block

Now the rain has seeped into my sock

I knew I should have brought an umbrella to college

but the only one I had was pink

and that's not emo enough, I think

But puppets (emos) you can manipulate

emos don't bleed or concede

to Hate

or negotiate

emos rock!

and suck co*k

This is what they all say

But they don't understand my pain

My jeans are still wet from the rain

(Boo-hoo :,-( )

The rain still falls from the sky

like the tears from my eyes

oh wait, that's the 7-up that someone

just threw at me it burns like the sun

 

punk/ metaller       shut up you Depressing boy

or ill break you like a toy

*runs away*

Oh shit, my jeans

 

You called my a turd

that's just absurd.

 

*jumps off college roof*

goodbye cruel world!!!

*emo SPLAT!*

-'oh my god i didn't die i hate you world'

ow I think my neck is broken

Tuesday, September 06, 2005 
Mood: Bored
Music: Jin Suzuki
Reading material: Collected Short Stories of H.G. Wells

I went into college today, to register and get my ID card and stuff. I officially have the worst ID card photo ever. It's so embarrassing, I think I may have to "loose" it and get a new one with a photo that doesn't make me want to sink into the ground every time I see it. I have to start college on Friday, so I still have a few more days of *relative* freedom...

I've been neglecting this journal a little bit, which you are probaly all thankful for, and I have a few hours to kill before I have to go to work, so I'll relate my day yesterday.

Well, I went to Camden with some friends, to get some clothes for college. After being half an hour late to meet them (nothing by the standards of Jennifer though), I quickly discovered that short, flowy skirts are not suitable for travelling on tube trains in, and later on in the day that floor fans are the enemy. I ended up holding the skirt down for the majority of the day, it seemed. Later on, I changed into a longer skirt that I had bought earlier on in the toliets of MacDonalds- the one thing that place is useful for. When we got to Camden, we browsed through a couple of shops and the markets and I bought a pretty pair of chopsticks from a stall in the Camden Lock Market. Then Sophie decided she was hungry, and after some browsing, we decided to get some take-away Chinese food. Yay to cheap vegetarian food!

We sat down at a table-and-bench-type-thing, and were eating (well, they were- I was spilling most of mine down myself, due to my lack of ability at eating noodles with a blunt plastic fork) when a woman came and sat down at the spare space (there were only three of us at that point), and started to unpack her lunch. She peeled open the lid of a tupperware box to free the odour of egg salad. It looked like it had been gradually moulding/ wilting all morning, and probally had. It took all my willpower not to burst out laughing.

I think it was at that point, we got a phonecall from Lucy, or maybe we called her, I can't remember. She's had her college enrolement interview-thing on that day, and therefore couldn't meet us at ten (or ten-thirty, in my case). We walked up to meet her, and she was wearing the onion-seller top (hahaha, just joking, it doesn't really look like that. I blame Cara and Lucy's mother.) that she wore at her party and leopard print, slightly furry shoes, as well as other clothes of course (eeeeemo jeans). We decided to look at the vintage shops after her informing me that I looked like a ballet dancer, and I ended up buying a fairly long fifties-style black skirt with white polka dots and a knee-length kilt-type skirt. Very patterned for me, I know. It took me quite a while to get used to the fact that it really was me with the spots on, not some random pattern I was hallucinating. I also fulfilled the quest set by my sister- to find and then buy her some UV nail polish, and bought a super-long twisty black bead bracelet from a very cheap shop for 89 pence.

At about four/ five o'clock Cara and Sophie decided that they were exhausted and decided to go home (boring!). I and Lucy decided that we'd go to Oxford Street because we were bored of Camden, and managed to find it. We then went to Borders and spent the next hour or so taking the piss of their manga section, which, although it seemed quite large, constisted mainly of Yu-Gi-Oh books and fourth books in many different series'. There were also whole sets of ten of the same book. When that had lost its novelty value, we went to Starbucks and I bought an exceptionally overpriced raspberry Frappuccino, which I have to say, was the pinkest and most sugary (disqualifying that WKD at Brighton) thing I've had for a long time, and made me very hyper for a while. We wandered and decided to try to walk to Covent Garden, going down random streets and looking like lost tourists (especially with my mini-London underground map that I had picked up at Liverpool St).

I realised a curious thing, while I was walking. Everywhere I go, I seem to go past a lot of dodgy underwear shops. I'm not sure whether something strange is going on in my subconscious or the demand for shops like that is going up, or it's just coincidence. Perhaps a mixture of both?

We were almost succesful in our aim and ended up being about two tube stations away from Covent Garden. Being lazy (at least, I am), we descended and took the tube to it. We went to a cafe-restaurant place and I bought some expensive carrot cake which had what looked (and tatsed) like mouldy black walnuts in it. I didn't eat these, naturally, but the pigeons did. They eat anything. This inspired a long conversation about exploding pigeons, but neither I or Lucy could remember what it was you have to feed them to make them explode. Anyone know?

At this point, it was about seven- half sevenish, and we decided to go home. My journey home was fairly uneventful. The token annoying chavs were being their usual annoying selves on the bus- but what is to be expected? I got home at about eight.

I didn't blog about Lucy's party, did I? From what I remember of it, it was very funny. ~Jed came down from "t'up Nooooururth" for it, and ended up having to look after me all evening, and having me steal his jumper. I almost poisoned people with my Pimms- my drink maying skills are not exactly...um.... bearable. Haha. That reminds me of when I made vodka and orange juice with three quaters vodka and one orange in Brighton. Her entire house and garden seemed to be covered by a coating of broken bits of Pringle, thanks to Warren. Do they have Pringles in America? I don't think you do. If you don't, you should do. They're crisps, for people that don't know. Practically every person at that party seemed to be drunk, or at least slightly "tipsy" as Cara would say. Especially a certain Sophie, who happened to get off with (I can barely think of it) Warren. And then Kieran. Haha.
Sunday, July 10, 2005 

Today I have been bitter and twisted. Evenmoreso than usual, to the suprise of many people. I know there's no point even writing this, because nobody will read it.

Friday, July 08, 2005 
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Have we ever had sex?
33. Do you miss me?
34. Do you think i miss you?
35. Are you going to put this on your MYSPACE and see what I say about you?
Thursday, June 09, 2005 

Current mood:AAh History!

Four things that should exist:

"    A CD of Opeth covering All American Rejects’ songs

"    Pens that automatically write the correct answer in exams

"    Bread that doesn’t go mouldy

"    Chocolate covered salt and vinegar crisps

Because all of those would be rad.

History in one hour exactly. I wonder if the S-Club Juniors girl will be sitting this exam as well? I hope she isn't because last time her tracksuit distracted me. I saw some yellow-shirters trying to get her autograph the other day- they were brandishing their rough books at her like there was no tomorrow. Suckers.

I have just committed a crime against cookery. I cannot believe I would stoop so low as to eat Heinz tinned spaghetti.

 

Thursday, May 19, 2005 
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:Liliana/ Charlotte
Birthday:16th June
Birthplace:Havering
Current Location:Havering
Eye Color:Blue-grey (boring!)
Hair Color:Brown (boring!)
Height:5 foot four eeenches
Right Handed or Left Handed:Righty
Your Heritage:European, mainly Irish, Polish.
The Shoes You Wore Today:School shoes
Your Weakness:Emo. <3
Your Fears:?
Your Perfect Pizza:A non-existant one
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:Lol
Thoughts First Waking Up:Awww, no
Your Best Physical Feature:None of them
Your Bedtime:Whenever I want
Your Most Missed Memory:The past
Pepsi or Coke:Neither. But coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:Ewwww
Single or Group Dates:Whichever
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla:Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee:Tea!
Do you Smoke:Nope, but I'm considering it
Do you Swear:Fuck yes
Do you Sing:No
Do you Shower Daily:Yep
Have you Been in Love:Yes, unfortunatley
Do you want to go to College:Duh
Do you want to get Married:Maybe
Do you belive in yourself:Are you joking? No
Do you get Motion Sickness:Occassionally
Do you think you are Attractive:HAHAHA, no
Are you a Health Freak:Nope
Do you get along with your Parents:Rarely
Do you like Thunderstorms:Very very much
Do you play an Instrument:Cello and guitar
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:Yep
In the past month have you Smoked:Nope
In the past month have you been on Drugs:Nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date:Probaly
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:Haha, yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:I've nevere aten them
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:Ew, no!
In the past month have you been on Stage:Nope
In the past month have you been Dumped:Well, kinda
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:Nope
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:From who?
Ever been Drunk:Haha, yes!
Ever been called a Tease:Yep
Ever been Beaten up:Unfortunatley, yes
Ever Shoplifted:Nope
How do you want to Die:Romantically
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:A cat
What country would you most like to Visit:I'm going to visit Alex in America, but I want to visit Japan and Russia, and Venice (I've alerady been to Italy)
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:Blue
Favourite Hair Color:Black
Short or Long Hair:Long (shoulder length)
Height:Tall
Weight:More than mine, but he must be thin
Best Clothing Style:Emo/goth/skate/alternative
Number of Drugs I have taken:
Number of CDs I own:30+
Number of Piercings:None :-(
Number of Tattoos:None :-(
Number of things in my Past I Regret:Many.

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
Sunday, May 01, 2005 

Current mood:Disbelief
By writing poetry I've managed to gradually destory everything good that has been in my life. I resolve to never write again as far as I can. Another page in your life has turned and you’re left standing on the side- lines once again. Wishing that you had something to say that wouldn’t be a mistake. When you look back, you’ll see you’ve wasted the past few months and wish that you could be reinvented. Files of memories, safely held in your mind, waiting for another person to come along and help you dredge them out again. To me you were something special, to the harsh lighting of my brain, just another easily forgotten face. I walk the streets hand in hand with shadows, talking of old books and places we have never been. Things that could have been aren’t scenes so much as intervals. I try not to make eye contact with the dead. Eyes are a window to my soul, or at least, the lack of one. Somehow people can sense your thoughts, but at night only streetlamps can look you in the face and sigh. There’s so many things that you think you have forgotten, snatches of song, autumn leaves and stones you once kept as lucky charms in your coat pockets. Apologies aren’t accepted by things that don’t exist anymore, and even if they were, what kind of person would say sorry to a memory? I would but there’s come doubt as to who I am. Changes in the trees tell me the months because I can’t be bothered to turn over my calendar anymore. The past is sacred. This is the last poem that I will ever write. I used to be an artist, someone who never thought that what they wrote could curse their azure skies and golden days. The dream is shattered and I wish that I could burn these libraries of memories. I’ll burn my meaningless sheets of words. Hope that it will all be over soon because this is the final chapter of an age.