09/02/09- Tomorrow is the first college football games of the season. Tomorrow college football starts. YES!!!!! Just to let you people know a little about me im a fanatic. No not just a fan of one team. I fucking love collage football. Yes of course I love USC and I cheer on my Air Force Academy team (Former Air Force, Yay, yay, LOL). But I follow college football like a person who loves their soap opera's. I know the history, the tradition, the updates. I follow it like someone who is a gambler would. But I dont gamble. I figure I would just end up losing a ton of money. But I love college football soooooooo much. I can watch it all fucking day. Seriously, some of you know I used to be married (Happily divorced, Yay, YAY, LOL). I remember my ex wife one night coming down the stairs of our old home saying, "You've been watching football since 7am this morning and it's 10pm. This is crazy". I told her "Sorry the University of Hawaii is playing a late game, and it's just getting good". We divorced shortly after, LOL. I cant wait for this season people. I cant wait to spend Sat's watching football, drinking beer, eating carne asada and screaming at games in HD. This is literally my favorite time of year. I love it too cause at the end of the football season you get Xmas and New Years and your life begins anew all over again, LOL...
07/13/09 - Ok so I guess the cat is out of the bag. Many of you that have recently come out to my shows or seen some recent pictures I have posted. I know that definitely a bunch of comics have noticed. Yes I have lost weight. 25lbs since March actually. Thats when I began working out. I have been doing a pretty good job of being consistent. I know, I wish I could stay stocky or husky. But there are two factors that caused me to finally get off my ass. 2 and a half years ago when i had my last physical my doctor recommended that I lose weight. Alot of weight. All my readings from the tests came back too high. Cholesterol, blood pressure, etc, etc. Even then I still didnt really do too much about it. The other motivating factor is that there are several projects I read for and wasnt physically up for the part. This happened in the beginning of the year. So against my personal beliefs on Hollywood. I have to get in shape to look the part for whatever part may come my way and for my own physical health. Health problems run in my family and Im not getting any younger. I guess it's because the men in my family cant say no to great food. I mean come on, Mexican food really is the best, LOL... I know. I wish I could stay stocky and husky and happy forever. I still fit in my beer and tacos and burritos, etc. I just do it alot less than before and workout really hard when I do hit the gym. I do feel pretty good. I started at 235lbs. I now weigh 210lbs. I have about 20 to 25lbs more to go. I havent been 210lbs since 2002 and thats pretty crazy. Im not gonna go ultra thin and I will never wear skinny jeans, LOL. Dont worry though cause my laughs are even bigger even though there's a little less of me. HAHA!!!
07/10/09 - Yesterday I was informed that my good friend and fellow comedian Cain Lopez passed away. He has been dealing with Cancer treatments for a little while and finally succumbed to his illness. It has been a very sad time in entertainment as there have been several notable people that have passed away. Most notably Michael Jackson. But the main thing is you dont have to be an entertainer to leave your mark on this world. You can very well leave your mark just based on the type of person you are. Great people are remembered forever no matter if they are famous or not. Cain was a great guy and a an awesome person. The fact that he was also a gifted comic is only extra. He will be truly missed and remembered in our hearts and minds. Miss you buddy!
-Aurelio
Dec 26th, 2008 --- Ok so the big day is done and I got through it feeling joy and happiness. Well sort of. See in todays day and age you have alot of broken homes and broken families. So many of you out there spend christmas by going to your two parents homes and then to your significant persons parents home right after, if not more. For me I had to go to my moms and my step-dads yesterday. I shouldnt say I "HAD" to go cause thats sounds negative. i was glad to go cause i had a blast and the food was unbelievable. I swear i ate so many tamales the past couple of days i now have a natural cologne called "tamal", LOL... anyway at my step-dads we did a secret santa. Times are tough and buying gifts for everyone like the old days is just out of the question. Especially with mexican families, cause our families are not small, LOL... So my cousin hits me up on myspace the day before and says "yo were adults and i got you for xmas. What do you want?" Here is where my mind went to. Cause what i wanted was to experience the joy of christmas. Sure im 33 years old and I know the secret of "Santa", but getting a gift and not knowing whats inside is the lil bit of joy left in the world besides of course the joy of giving gifts. But no, my cousin in the blink of an eye shattered the process, albeit the new tradition, of the secret santa just because he couldnt figure out what i wanted. Hell whatever you do choose for me get me a gift receipt so that way i can take the shit you bought me back. But its a gift! A gift you wrapped and will surprise me with and I shall hug you no matter what and proclaim to our family, "This gift is from my cousin, who purchased it on their own and who took the time to truly choose something special". But no, so i told him what i wanted. A new bottle of cologne. The one thing i love in the world is the invention of cologne. Well perfume is of course a pretty amazing invention too. I mean there is no greater joy than smelling perfume on a woman's neck or when she passes you by and you smell her lingering perfume trail. Really! Sometimes a perfume can drive me crazy. Anyway not to get off the subject, LOL. So I have a few colognes that i am now bored with so the prospect of getting a new scent that i know i want really made me happy. Yeah until i actually opened my gift from my cousin and it was a gift card to a bar-b-que restaurant. Are you fuckin kidding me? You ruined the secret santa to ask what i want just to get me something i didnt ask for. Something that you could have done in the first place. Are you fuckin kiddin me? I mean it's no secret, im stocky. Ok a little more than stocky, lol. And yes i love to eat. But I would have preferred to have smelled good and maybe be a bit hungry, LOL... Anyway i tease cause i love my cousin and he cant help being a little dumb, LOL!!! Oh man he's reading this now, and all names have been left out to protect him, HAHA! But in the future if you hear me tell a joke about a cousin ruining christmas then you know where it came from. You read it here first.
11/09/08- What is up everybody... A friend from Texas reminded me I havent updated my blog in a long time so I thought I would, thank you Texas... Alot of you have seen my photos. And a few of you have wondered why I am always throwing the thumbs up in alot of my poses. I know Its not a very rock and roll gesture let alone a comedic one. But it is to me. See I was raised by a single mom. She raised myself and my brother. Being that she was a single parent she had to go to work alot and she had to leave my brother and I with my grand mother. My grandma, god rest her soul, was one of the toughest women you could ever meet. She didnt have alot of time for bullshit. She was the mother of seven kids and raised them on her own when she got a divorce from my grand father. We used to ask my grandma if she would ever remarry. Her answer I shit you not was, "Why should I? So I can clean his diapers? Forget that honey im going to Vegas". She raised her kids well cause all of my aunts and uncles are really confident and successful people. But growing up my grandmother would be very firm with my brother and I. We both thought we were smarter than she was but that was being young and naive. My grandma was very smart and tough. But she also had a very kind heart to those in need and even those that pissed her off. I remember being in the car with her one day when someone cut her off. Now normally in this situation and when my mom was driving, my mom would scream and curse at the other driver and then end her yelling and cursing with a middle finger. Hey my mom is tough too, lol... But when my grandma got cut off she didnt yell and she didnt curse. What she did do is give the driver in front of her the thumbs up. I remember being a little kid and knowing that she should have thrown the middle finger but instead threw up the thumb. I laughed so hard. But now when I do the thumbs up im not symbolically flipping people off with a substitute finger, well sometimes I am, LOL... But I am remembering my grandma in my own way each time I do it. She was an awesome lady. I know she's looking down at me up above and shaking her head at me telling this story with a slight level of embaressment right before she throws me the big thumbs up... Thanks for reading...
07/20/08- I once again decided to rewrite this blog. But then i thought i should just add to it. The past few months have been extremely stressful for my family. A few months ago we lost my aunt. Only a few close comic buddies knew. I try to keep my personal life seperate but i have to be honest and say losing her truly broke my heart. My family has had some time to get over it and realize she is in a better place. Well my family once again has been blind sided. Another aunt has recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Now normally I wouldnt say anything till everything was said and done if i choose to say anything at all. And im not saying it to get any sympathy. Cause we all have our trials and tribulations. We all have to suffer when these things happen to our family members. It's a fact of life. But the reason im telling this story today is because it is my sincerest hope that my story can help someone else out there cope when these things happen to someone in their family. Cause when your told that you only have so much more time here on planet earth it really makes you think. Whats really important? My family got together last night and we had a party. Thats what we did and we celebrated with one another. I havent seen my aunt laugh like that in a long time. I've mentioned below that my family is very funny. But last night we woke up the neighborhood. I swear we told story after story. We laughed till we cried. It was awesome. Laughter truly is the best medicine. The week prior we had been very tearful. But now that the end result is known my family helped my aunt give death the middle finger and say, "Hey i know your knockin at the door but im not coming out till we have drank all this beer, eatin all this carne asada and told a few more stories. So have a seat or grab a beer cause were gonna be up a little while longer." BAM! LOL... In all seriousness in the story below I talk about truly letting your family know at all times how much they mean to you and to appreciate every moment you have with them. Cause you never know. My family means the world to me. I have definitely let them know how much they mean to me. And in turn they continue to teach me the value of the time that we have here on this big planet called earth. Im not wasting a second more. Thank you for allowing me to share this story with you. Hopefully it helps someone out there...
I decided to rewrite this blog this evening. The reason being that I had an amazing time with my family today. We got together for a birthday BBQ. Now i'm a comic. And I am a funny guy. But if you hung out with my family then you would think we need to give the microphone to my mom and dad. Or even my sister in law. They are hysterical. We laughed so much and so hard today I may be sore tomorrow. Thats how my family is. Loud, funny and crazy. Now I originally wrote this blog cause i was moved by the movie "We are Marshall". Awesome movie. AWESOME! But then today my dad was inside the house. I thought he was watching the Pro-Bowl or basketball. I went in to find him watching "Saving Private Ryan". Now thats just one of the all time greatest movies ever made. It was also very moving. If you dont know the movie please go down to blockbuster and rent it. I mean i will be honest when i saw the mom go down when they were about to tell her that her 3 sons had died i almost... I admit it... i... i... Ok I didnt cry, haha. But almost, lol... It was at that moment that I took a look around. I watched my family. I cant tell you how appreciative I am. The two movies i referenced both remind you to appreciate those around you like your family. It also reminds you that obstacles will come up from time to time. Now those obstacles may be in the form of work, people, friends, relationships and what not. But you cant let them get you down. Remind yourself what you are here to do. Bring laughter and love to those around you and appreciate what you have. I do and I am very thankful once again for the awesomeness that is american cinema. I mean come on. It's movies like these and countless others that inspire and remind us what life is all about. If you say no then i say shut up... Not to be mean but this is afterall my blog area. And I can say what i want... HAHA! Thanks for reading
--- Aurelio Miguel Bocanegra
Written Jan 29th, 2008 --- WHY?!!! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TASTE SO GOOD?!! I hate you Chipotle. Oh sure you look innocent enough. With your stylish restaurants and your simple menu. But its the menu. Oh just a harmless Burrito? I say no. I think you know exactly what you got. A Tortilla wrapped torpedo of tasty goodness. A burrito that has got to be engineered with taste steroids. Nothing and i mean nothing is supposed to taste that good. Oh sure make it easy for us mere patrons of your establishment. Make it easy for me to stuff myself to the gils with your burrito. I mean you order and it's made right then and there. No wait no delay. And you make it with what ever i want. Genius! Oh and then comes the climax. "Can I have guacamole?" Thats when they know they got you. Cause by the time you have to ask for guacamole they know, "time to charge this sorry bastard and time to charge him good". Cause who can say no now? They practically tease you by asking you if you still want the guacamole when it's a $1 plus more. OF COURSE WE WANT THE GUACAMOLE! By the time we have reached the section to choose guacamole we are fully invested. All our taste bud chips are in. you could say, "oh the burrito is only $1.00 but the guacamole is an extra $8.00. There could be a shortage in the world of avocados and you could sell the guacamole at crack prices! We would still pay. And why you ask? Cause your burrito goddamn it! It tastes so good! You are a diet killer. You are a taste bud detroyer and may god have mercy on your soul!!! I HATE YOU CHIPOTLE! I FUCKIN HATE YOU! BUT GODDAMN IT IF I DONT LOVE YOU TOO!!!...
FINALLY MY FIRST FUNNY BLOG... HAHAHAHA! Thanks for reading. Aurelio Miguel Bocanegra