At there Halloween wents pretty good is years. Guess all em basturds from a last years is a too olds to trick & treat no mores, cause I wasn't on a other ends of some prank monkey gift. Usually round midnights, em bunch a hets would a pitched the goose eggs at my doors, but no it was a cleans is mornin.
Is here time I was a membereds of em good ol days... kids a behavin all propers an a lot. Most of ems were a asking bouts my turnips, at was ons my porch.
Ya sees, back in my days we'd a carved out the turnips stead of a your pumpkins.
At there turnip is your original jack o'lanterns... nameds afters a drunkin blacksmith by a names a "Stingy Jack" - used to eats the turnips while he dranks, so's his wife wouldn'ts smells it on his breath.
Ol Jack used to stiff peoples on a drinks back in a days. He liked to make bets an a plays tricks on fellas for free whiskey. Like he tolds is one fella at he coulds drinks two pints before at there fella coulds a finish one shot. Well at fella laughs at em an a orders up two pints a ale & a shot a rye. Course Jack nevers could drink at fast, but it gaves him two free beers each time he did it.
One late autumn night of drinkin, is fancy fella cames in a bar an a says he's the devil himself. Ol Jack looks him up n down n saids, "I'll give ya my soul for one last shot!" Well at devil ordereds up a quarter-glass an a changed himselfs into a six-pence to pays the bartender.
Some fella yells out, "He is the Devil, Jack!"
Ol Jack took one look at the six-pence, snatched it ups an a put it ins his pocket, wheres he kepts a silver cross most people carrieds with em for good lucks.
Well at devil couldn'ts change himself back, so he was a hootin an a hollerin beggins Jack to let em free. Ol Jack drank the whiskey an says to him, "I'll lets ya go if'ns ya promise not to takes my soul for a ten years to come." Course time didn't means nothing to a devil so he agreeds.
10 years later, Jack was a jobless drunk whose wife had lefts him. People's would a sees him nears the turnip fields cause he gots hooked on em after years a eatins em.
Well sures enough, when Jack was a sleepins it off by a sides a road, at devil cames up n a tolds him it was times to go. Jack says to him "Well I ain't got nothin lefts to lives for anyway... but coulds you get me's an apple froms at there tree befores we gets?"
At devil lookeds at the pitiful drunk an agrees... but as soon as at devil was in at apple tree, ol Jack put a bunch a crosses all arounds it - trappins him once agains. Recon ol Jack had beens a plannin at for a longs time.
"You let's me outa is here tree, Jack!" yelleds the devil.
Jack says to him that he'd let em go if'n the devil would a nevers takes his soul whens he dieds. Seeins no way round his predicament, at devil agreeds an a lefts mad as all heck.
Anyhoot, Stingy Jack ventually passed away in a Octobers - he was a broke, lonely fella with a scent a liquor n turnips on his breath. No church woulds a let Jack rests in a cemetarys so the townfolks all decideds a bury him outs n em fields where he wandereds.
Sure enough bout every October ya can sees his ghost walkins round out there.
Our Pastor says at Jack was refused entrance to em "Gates of Heaven", causin his life a drinkins an a bein so deceitfuls. Saids at he ventually walked on downs to hell, but the devil kepts his promise an a wouldn'ts let em in at place neithers.
"Wheres can I goes?" Jack asked em.
"Get backs to wheres you came!" replieds at devil.
But ya sees, the ways back was a just as windy & dark as it was gettins down. Stingy Jack pleaded with at devil to at least gives em a light to helps find his way. So at there devils, in a final gesture, pitched ol Jack an ember of hellfires. Jack placed at ember ins a hollowed-out turnip...an a carrieds it likes some lantern to finds his way out.
From at days on, Stingy Jack has beens a doomed to roams the nights without a restin, with only at lit turnip to lights his way. I puts out the turnips so Jack a have somethins to eat.
