I'm currently in mississippi visiting my grandma. I traveled here with my dad and my aunt, and am leaving here sunday. My grandma is terminal, and I havent seen her in almost seven years, it's good to see her. She talks about me to everyone, and makes me into a sort of spectale, because I am her only grandchild. I continued my tradition of trying to pee in every state I travel through. I have to keep myself entertained during the hours and hours of the roadtrips, ahaha.

I was thinking today about how much I miss living in Pittsburgh. It's ok though.

This weekend was pretty cool. Fiday night I went and shot some pictures for my friends band, Five Kings. The band profile is under my friends. It was a cool show. That night I had myself a few Guinness and headbanged with the rest of the meatal heads that were there. I started a mosh pit. It was a great way to get out some of the bad stuff I had been holding inside. I also met a couple people that night, including the singer of Oblige Greg Wilburn, Angel, Holly, members of The Spectacle, "Chaos", Mooka, and another person that wanted to show me thier tattoo. Saturday was my day of relaxation and the day I went and started editing photos from the show. Today, I went out to Official in Forney to play paintball with my friends from team Zulu. I borrowed the gear I used because I don't have any of my own. Overall I did pretty well. I knocked out at least one person a game, if not two. One game I did knock out a third of the other team, which was three people. So yeah, this weekend gave me some bruises, in the case of paintball, two bloody hands, but it was great fun.

So, I think I know my problem. I carry around some sort of insecure frustration that builds and builds until it explodes. The cause of said frustration might be from the lack of something. I'm not completely sure.

Right now, I am at home again. It gets boring, but oh well. I havent been taking too many new pictures lately, but I will be covering a paintball match for Ronny on the eighth. Other than that, just taking the day to relax before the work week starts tomorrow. I had some sushi and some riesling for dinner, a decent combo. Earlier in the day, I went by starbucks to pick up some green tea lemonade and ran into an Alex, an old friend. It was cool to halfway catch up with someone I grew up with. It has been awhile since I have seen a lot of people, those that I am friends with, and those that I love. Now that I'm back in TX, suprisingly, I haven't had too much of a chance to catch up with people. Some of the best friends I made though, are still living in Pittsburgh. It was hard leaving that kind of friendship behind, but I had to. Anyone in Pitt reading this, I am trying to visit in late march/early april, so let me know if you are interested in hanging out.

I just sat through photo crit this morning, and was ok until the third hour of class started. My professor is nice enough, but since I got about four hours or less of sleep, it seems like today is dragging by. Coffee never seems to help wake me up either. Maybe its because of the adhd, some stimulants work opposite. Whatever the case, I have to sit through color slide this afternoon and than go to work. I'm hoping it goes quickly. Tomorrow I'm going to skip my survey of architecture class to go shoot an assignment for the Trib. This will be my third assignment and the second time I have shot a play rehearsal. The other play rehearsal will be published in the paper tomorrow. I guess I'm doing well when it comes to working towards a career in my field. Freelancing for the paper has started to help me gain "real world" experience. I have met people and semi-established contacts. Even though I have done some assignments and gotten use to the deadlines and the stress, I still get nervous and anxious about each assignment. I usually don't stop feeling this way until I hear back from my boss that everything looks good etc.

I found out yesterday that I won another contest at work. The contest was district wide and the goal was to sell the most Samsung cameras. I aced that shit and won (what I've heard so far) $750 dollars in travel funds and $200 in tax relief funds. I also think that there is a cash out option, although I will have to see. In the next week or so the company will send me a letter informing me of my options. I'm excited, because I have always wanted to travel. I was thinking of hitting europe, or possibly somewhere that I could relax, but the cash out option is also tempting. Who dosent like cash? The problem with the prize is that I would have to pay my expenses where ever I would go. I guess hotels aren't that much though. Who knows, I'll have to see what happens.

Other than that, the situation with Jill and I is getting better. We are talking more.

I have this week and next week before class is out for two weeks. It will be a welcome change of pace. I'm excited too about my vacation to Texas. It's been about one year since I have left. PA may have its perks, but I wont ever forget where I grew up. My documentary project is pretty much complete, except for a couple edits and reprints I have to take care of. Thats a plus. I still have to hustle to finish my Magazine final though. I'm doing a story on an older lady who's husband recently died. The real story behind it is that he had saved her life in WWII in France when France was under the occupation of the Nazis. He told her that he would never leave her and he never did. They were married and came back to America together. I find the story touching and quite interesting.