I just thought that I would inform everyone that my almost 2 year accomplishment of keeping the vodka vomit in my body & out of the bathroom has recently ended. Yes, I know you're all surprised (well, most of you) but it's true. After a long day of drinking for my birthday followed by a somewhat early night Built To Spill finally did just that... I spilled. Right into the toilet. I will give myself a little bit of credit b/c although my reign as non-vomiter extrodinaire has come to a screeching halt, I did in fact make it to the toilet instead of just puking over the balcony (Chase).

Shot after shot after shot, it tends to catch up to ya when there aren't any amphetamines to counter act a continuous day of drinking (we'll hafta change that for next year), but all in all it was a good time. For everyone that came & hung out; we had a good time & for all of you that didn't show up; u missed a good time (so i'm told) b/c I don't know when I'm gonna drink like that again... what ya'll doin 2morrow??

Till next time, keep that cold towel on ur neck!

Peace

I haven't written a new blog in a while, and I'm avoiding cleaning MY apartment, so here goes:

I would like to inform everyone about the current conspiracy against muah. I honestly believe that the weather gods are against me. I have recently noticed that everytime I get a day off of work/school, the climate takes a nosedive off the deep end, but when I am obligated to go to work Apollo seems to be enjoying a plentiful picnic in the park. I intend on creating a petition to Zeus for anyone else who seems to have pissed off this ruthless God. Hopefully Zues will be on our side and have a little sit down with his son and find out what's really going on. If anyone is interested in signing a formal appeal against Apollo drop me a line and I will let you know when the final draft is up for signing.

One word of advice to all of you who "just so happened" to get off work on this unsigtly, dull day: Stick it to the weather gods and drink a bottle of tequila! Because the weather doesn't matter when you're fucked up in a bar, or on a couch, or pretty much anywhere!! Till next time, "Good Night & Good Drunk."

First thing's first:

If any of you own a small dog, get it a fucking shock collar!!! I am so fucking sick of hearing my neighbors' meximelt mutts yap all fucking night... For all you animal cruelty freaks out there, what about sleep deprivation? Because that's the result of the bitches' yappers... I am not able to sleep. Fuck, I think everybody needs shock collars. When you start to get obnoxious and bitchy, you get a zap to the throat.

Staying on the subject of people, let's go on to my next pet peeve for the night. People who like to talk shit when it's really none of their damn business A.K.A. my former boss. She is the ultimate shit talker/starter. She thrives on drama, why else would she talk about me to my roommate? Like she's not going to tell me (come on now). If you really have something to say, say it to ME! If you think I drink too much for my own good, look at your husband (oh wait, you aren't married... I wonder why?). And for the whole assuming I'm on drugs, at least I don't need to be on PROZAC. Take a chill pill and shut up, no one likes to listen to you!

And why doesn't Myspace work??? I have to refresh every damn page I try to pull up before I can even see it.

I would bitch about driving, but I'm not that much better at it so I'll shut my mouth.

And the yapping doesn't stop! That dog better not ever be outside alone b/c it will have a new home on the side of the interstate.

I just thought i would relay the advice that i have recently learned... Heels & Cocktails do NOT mix! Last Monday i was enjoying $1 margaritas at Tampicos followed by a predictable turn to the Bulldog for $1 night... Not having work, i decided to not wear the usual uniform (wife beater & blue jeans) and dress up *heels included. Come to find out... not such a good idea. While "gracefully walking" (at least in my mind that's how it looked) out of the Bulldog I some how managed to lose my balance &/or coordination and bust my ass. Hard. I know what you're thinking, "How could someone so well trained in drinking actually fall to the ground? In front of a bar, no less?" I know, & I was just as shocked as you are, trust me. I have now had a fat ankle for approximately 5 days. Maybe I should drink more to slow the swelling... I'll let ya know how that works out for me.

I would hate for you to be mistaken for a drunk, when really, all you are is uncoordinated so please, wear your heels with caution.