Alright, you miserable pukes! About face! This is drill instructor Colin Panetta here to give you the latest in the shake-downs and rumblings in The X-Heroes' battle plans for the War of the Independents! Xxero! Get that rifle out of your mouth! Captain DeathRay! Get that potato peeler away from your jugular! Plan B! Get rid of that bootleg copy of Tropic Thunder! We can do this men! We've been training for a year to take on this mission, and we aren't going to let some last minute changes in battle plan deter us!

Okay, so here's the scoop. Remember the guys that were going to be joining us in battle, The Kosmix? Well, they're not going to be able to make it. There's an all day Flavor of Love marathon coming up and, well, they've got priorities. Plan B, for god's sake, stop crying! Now, we can do this without them! Here's what we're gonna do; instead of The X-Heroes Vs. The Kosmix, we're going to have five brand new, full color, fully automatic webcomics on TheXHeroes.com. That'll really give the enemy what for! Intelligence tells me that these comics have already been through drawing, inking and lettering camp, and have only to make it through the most grueling training experience of all; COLORING! After that, we'll get a slick new design for the website in an attempt to distract the enemy. Then summer 2008, in conjunction with the War of the Independents (exact date TBD), we'll launch a FULL SCALE ATTACK. I know Incisionator, I know; You've got a taste for blood now! But we've got to wait for all the other regiments to get ready. Johnny Saturn, The Wraith, Bounty Hunter, BlueWing and more! Once we're all locked and loaded, we'll strike the comic book world with a force they've never seen! Here's a preview of the action!

Oh, and I've been meaning to tell you grunts- you know those secret intelligence files on the four of you? The ones we had Secret Agent timlight of Drunk Duck Speesheez draw up? Plan B, Incisionator, Xxero, Captain DeathRay- don't let those fall into the wrong hands! They've got information on your that readers of your comic strip don't even know about yet!

And one last thing, top secret documents containing the battle plans of some of our brothers-in-arms have leaked. They were assembled by Joel Danford of the BlueWing camp, and contain top secret info on the exploits of BlueWing, Aym Geronimo, Axiom-Man and The Wraith! You can read them HERE! Looking at what the other regiments are bringing to the War- I can tell you boys right now that we're going to have to step our game up just so we don't look like a bunch of sissies!

Alright, you miserable pukes, that's all for today! Meet me back at… Oh, six hundred. I've got a bucket of paint, and I'm gonna color the whole miserable lot of ya'!