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The American Mood

Paula

Chanz

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)


A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)


A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)



Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour.
(Don't try this at home; maybe at work)



The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the. ..?!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)


The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)



Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)


Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people..
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)


Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)


A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)


An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)


Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)


Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure..
(What about that pig??)


MADE YOU SMILE FOR AWHILE DIDN"T IT

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its ass."

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Do you ever wonder why you gave your time to read this?

Thanks to all those for reading our blogs.

Thanks also to those who commented on them or messaged us about them.

The American Mood , us, are looking for an Agent & a new Booker or Booking Agent.

We’re a no BS acoustic group, two vocals, killer harmonies, one guitar, & drums. Entertainers in the old school sense.

We are looking for a no BS Agent & Booker. One who will meet with us & see what we’re about. No more of this I can represent & book you shit without knowing what we do or what we’re about.

An Agent who will work with us & not against us, book us into venues that are with our style. Weather it be opening for or sharing the bill with other like artists or just letting us do our thing.

We’ve cut our teeth in bars, clubs, festivals, telethons. You name it, we’ve played it.

We entertain every gig the same, be it 5 people or 5000. We are not just a group, we’re entertainers, in the old school style.

If you can’t work with us, don’t bother us, we’re past that shit.

If this offends anyone, tough shit.

What is it with these people who also have an Artist page but don't accept add request from other bands? Now we're only talking here to other Artists.

Do you feel you're way to far above us other Artists that you can't support us or take the time to listen to our music, are you afraid you may hear music you like other than your own?

Case in point. American Idol "Carrie Underwood", who was depending on votes from fans, bands, whoever would vote for her & did,  doesn't accept requests from other musicians now she's in the lime light. That to us is the epitome of shitty.

What if every friend or fan they have gave them the same cold shoulder, where would they be?

And if it's the leaving comments on their page promoting gigs or pages, God forbid, they don't have to post them, though it would help those working just as hard if not harder than they are at this.

Give another Artist a break for christ sake, no one gets where they are alone, capisca.

That said, have a nice day

Download LIVE Bootlegged muisc of The American Mood @ Mojo's

Listen & Download

www.myspace.com/tambootlegged

 

If there is a song that isn't downloadable let us know.