I'm liftin' an idea from my friend Tony, who long ago started writing a cathartic rant and posting it for all to see... and it's funny as $h!+ so go check it out: http://www.myspace.com/bigangryscot

Today's installment should be especially offensive to the following people: popular music fans, the ignorant, and liberals (oh wait... it seems I repeat myself!).

1) People who complain about bands "selling out". Guess what... the Theory of Evolution lives on in the music industry. Here's a dirty little secret: Musicians make music to make money. So in order to attract more customers, they make more music, and that music evolves. They grow as artists, and their bank accounts grow as the music does. So all you stagnant, whiny bitches can shut the hell up and enjoy the music, or go enjoy someone else, or GO MAKE YOUR OWN. Then I can mock you when you "sell out" too.

2) Those ignorant of basic economics. Supply and demand, ladies and gents, supply and demand. When supply is high and demand is low, the price goes down. Low supply, high demand, price skyrockets. Low supply, low demand, price settles somewhere low. High supply, high demand, price settles a bit higher. Throw in competition and the prices drop. Eliminate overhead and either profits increase, prices drop, or both. So why do I bring all this up? Because idiots believe that raising the minimum wage (which floods the economy with a large supply of currency) helps the economy. Here's the news: It doesn't. Giving poor people more money means there's more for companies to fleece from them. It also means that the companies that employ them have more overhead, therefore being forced to increase prices. The companies that employ them typically provide the kind of goods and services they require, so those prices increase... which means that even though they have more money, they are able to do less with it. If you drop the minimum wage instead, to $2-3/hour, you'll actually fight inflation, bringing the actual value of the dollar closer to it's face value. It's just basic economics, folks, not rocket science.

3) Socialists. Horror stories are trickling out of countries with socialized medicine. Take Great Britain: 1) Women in some rural communities are being told to go get a midwife, because childbirth isn't a high priority in their local hospitals. 2) A man has been waiting for FIVE YEARS to get ankle surgery because his doctors refuse to treat him UNTIL HE STOPS SMOKING. Let me emphasize. He SMOKES. His ANKLE is broken. Disgusting though it may be, the process of sticking a flaming piece of cancer-causing nicotine in your mouth has nothing to do with your ankle. 3) The incidence of dental self-surgery using pliers and glue has been dramatically increasing. Just in case you doubt me, go read up at the BBC website or the AP. Add in the stories of Canadians sneaking across the border to get surgery because there are WEEKS-LONG waiting lists up in Canuckland. And much closer to home, look at the cock-up with Walter Reed Army Hospital. Like it or not, the US military has a socialized medical system... and it SUCKS ASS. The likes of filthy hillary want to bring that horrifying nightmare to EVERY AMERICAN. Reason enough not to vote democrat next year, don't you think?

OK, I'm taking things in a slightly different direction tonight. I got my geek on with a little Warhammer 40K earlier, and speaking as a geek, there are things about the hobby "that really grind my gears!". I don't think anyone other than certain fellow geeks will be offended tonight, so read on :-)

1) Pewter models. Are these the lowest-quality pieces of crap Games Workshop can produce, or is it possible for them to be worse? They're heavy, so you have to balance them just right on terrain and they can still tip over even on flat table surface. They're COVERED in imperfections and "flash", so you have to go over every model with a fine-toothed comb to make sure it looks nice before you paint it. The metal obscures neat little details, because it's made in a mold. You can't cement it together like you can with plastic models, which means they're easier to take apart, but also means they're easier to take apart! (Yes, I wrote that intentionally.) They're more difficult to cut and modify than the plastics. And last but not least, adding insult to injury... THEY COST MORE TOO!

2) The price. This hobby is like doing crack cocaine. Collecting the models to make a "decent" field-able army costs hundreds (yes, that was plural!) of dollars before you even figure in paints and glues and decals and any other modeling tools you think you need. Then they change the stats on some of your key units, or come out with new ones, or release a new version of your Codex, and you spend even more to update it! And you never have just one army... and what about terrain... and dice... and templates... and what will I carry all this crap in...

3) Friendly fire. We're talking about the 41st Millenium, where life is cheap and anything but precious. So why the hell can't I use my troops as living homing beacons for my big guns??? I play the Tau, who have lots of awesome long-range heavy firepower, but who take a hit in close combat like Glass Joe from Mike Tyson's Punch-Out. So instead of watching them get slowly ground to pieces bit by bloody bit when the enemy assaults them, why can't I just plaster the ground they're occupying? As far as I'm concerned, that unit is already dead. Why not let them take the enemy with them?

4) "We'll Be Back!" When I shoot somebody, I expect him to have the common damned decency to STAY DEAD! Necron filth...

5) Chaos. You're just too cheesy... and too good in close combat. Go... go... just go.

6) D6s. While I like them, wouldn't the To-Hit and To-Wound tables be easier if we threw D8s or D12s into the mix? Maybe even a D20?

7) "Psykers". I find your powers obnoxious and the fact that you use "psychic" powers but call yourself a "psyker" nauseating. Go lose yourself in the Eye of Terror.

8) Eldar. Pointy-eared, over-specialized bastards. Maybe they need the over-specialization to stand out from the other armies, but the special options and the heroes and the Phoenix Lords and the mounds of equipment give me a headache. Go hug a space-tree.

9) Dark Eldar. Do we really need to have "dark" elves every time we have elves?? I blame YOU, R. A. Salvatore. You could've killed Drizzt, but you chose Chewbacca instead. I hope somebody drops a moon on you, you Chultan jungle-rot.

I'm liftin' an idea from my friend Tony, who long ago started writing a cathartic rant and posting it for all to see... and it's funny as $h!+ so go check it out: http://www.myspace.com/bigangryscot

I'm liftin' an idea from my friend Tony, who long ago started writing a cathartic rant and posting it for all to see... and it's funny as $h!+ so go check it out: http://www.myspace.com/bigangryscot

These rants WILL be offensive. Not because I aim to drop F-bombs all over, but because I REFUSE to succumb to political correctness and I intend to make my readers THINK LOGICALLY. Not that I expect anyone to agree with what I have to say; I merely expect my spin on things to make you examine your own views and motivation. With that said, if I write more than two or three of these and you're not offended yet, I'm doing something wrong... so write me and I'll start dropping those F-bombs ;-)

Today's installment should be especially offensive to the following people: stereotypical Asian customers, cute-but-inconsiderate girls with or without inconvenient boyfriends, anyone who has participated in "mandatory fun", folks who eat the last slice of a pizza they didn't pay for, and of course LIBERALS... without whom the world would be a less hypocritical place.

1) Stereotypical Asian customers. Mr Chen, Mrs Wu, you called my company because we kill bugs. A year ago. If I sprayed adequately the first time I serviced your house, the second time, the third time, and the fourth time, doesn't it stand to reason I can probably do it without you following me around and pointing exactly where I need to spray EVERY TIME I COME BY?? Also, it's really nice that you gave us your business... that doesn't entitle you to a discount. And promising to give us more business doesn't get you a discount either... although actually delivering on just one of those promises might! You see, we have "a powerful need to eat sometime this month", so we can't just give our service away. Oh, and do you see this license? It means I KNOW HOW TO DO MY JOB. That's why I'm still employed. You know so much about how to kill bugs? Do it your own damned self. And don't forget to give yourself a discount.

2) Girls I thought I was interested in. Wow, we've spent the last hour talking while I've been asking all kinds of questions about you and my eyes never once left yours... as far as you know. I'm only human! *mischievous grin* But only now that I'm asking you out on a date do you mention "Oh, I have a boyfriend... sorry..." as you "sympathetically" pout. Yes, I'm calling bullshit on you. I'm not a subtle man. I use a rocket launcher, for goodness' sake! It's not like you couldn't tell I was coming on to you. So why not be honest (and be quick about it!) so I don't waste your time and mine? Because we both know the "boyfriend" is bullshit and you're just trying to "let me down easy". Bite me. I prefer honesty... even if it's "Sorry Tubby, I prefer guys that are... what's the word... good-looking." At least then I'll know you're a bitch and won't waste another breath on you.

3) Mandatory fun. Everyone in the military knows what I'm talking about. Whether you call it "Family Day", "The Ball", or something else entirely, it's that event you only go to because it's an excuse to get drunk and pretend you care about the people in your unit when you're not on-duty. For that matter, why is it that the only two things Marines seem to want to do when given free time are: 1) Get drunk, and 2) Get laid? Honestly gents, there's booze and girls at home... in fact, they're EVERYWHERE. But how often do you get to climb Mt Fuji or swim in the Red Sea or take a picture in front of the statue of Lenin? Awww... who cares, Trout? Let's get f***ed up!

4) Liberals. I am SURE that I'll be revisiting this topic OFTEN, because I have a low hypocrisy tolerance. Only liberals could support killing innocent and defenseless babies because "it's the parent's right to choose!", while decrying the execution of criminals found guilty of capital crimes in a court of law because "What if he's innocent? I'd hate to do something irreversible to an innocent person!". Only liberals can raise a hue and cry over two words taken THOROUGHLY out of context ("phony soldier", which was used to reference a 44-days-in-basic-training dropout who claimed to be a combat vet with a Purple Heart) while taking out a full-page full-color ad in the New York Times announcing "General Betray-Us". Only liberals could condemn the Iraqi Parliament for achieving 8 of 18 "benchmarks" while failing to "bring the troops home" like they were "mandated" to do after the 2006 election. Only liberals.

I had an interesting discussion tonight with a new friend. He's pro-killing-babies (I mean, pro-choice) but anti-death penalty. In essence, he's totally for people being able to choose to kill an innocent BABY (whether life begins at conception or not, you're killing a creature that can become an adult human), but against killing an ADULT found to be guilty of a heinous crime in a court of law? Let me put this another way: He's OK with killing an INNOCENT, but has qualms about killing someone who is GUILTY?

Can anyone justify that?

September 11: Patriot Day.

A day we remember the sacrifice of true patriots: the New York firefighters and police officers lost in the World Trade Center, the American servicemen and women lost in the Pentagon, the brave passengers who fought back against the jihadist "shahid" sons of whores who attempted to use a civilian airliner as a terror weapon.

A day we recall the friends, family, and most importantly, INNOCENTS that were slain because of blind hate by religious fanatics.

A day we pledge ourselves yet again to NEVER let the tragic events of that day be repeated.

A day we remember the spirit of brotherhood and patriotism that bound us all together, even in our mourning.

Ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, my fellow Americans: May we never forget! Patriot Day was founded in the blood of our innocent dead, the blood of our bravest and best. Let them never be forgotten! Let their lives be not in vain! They do not scream out for vengeance, but for vigilance and JUSTICE!

And most importantly, they demand that noone else need be remembered like them.

Hey, y'all, I've started writing on this site (http://www.helium.com/tm/588291/would-irresponsible-criminal-united), and I'm really afraid that some of it might actually be good! And I'd hate for y'all to miss it, so I'm reprinting them here. Tell me what you think!

Should the US pull out of Iraq regardless of that nation's ability to defend its' people?

It would be irresponsible and even criminal for the United States to remove her armed forces from Iraq before that country regains the ability to defend itself. There are several reasons why I feel this is so.

First, the armed forces of the United States are the reason that Iraq lost its ability to defend itself. From a purely moral standpoint, we have a responsibility to our collective conscience to restore that ability, else we are responsible for their destruction should some other outside force lay them low.

Second, by leaving our troops in place we help create infrastructure and a stable economy. If you look at our enemies in World War II (Germany and Japan), they are now economic powerhouses. Yet it required no less than ten years of active military occupation to achieve this! Why should we give up now in Iraq after far less than that and lose a potential economic ally?

Third, it makes good tactical sense to do so. As of right now there are roughly 150,000 American servicemen within striking distance of two of the nastiest hotbeds of terrorist activity, namely Syria and Iran. Iraq gives us a base whereby we can launch attacks if necessary against these hostile nations, much as we used Japan as a springboard against North Korean and "Chi-Com" aggression and West Germany as a line of defense against the USSR and Warsaw Pact.

Fourth and most importantly, our national security depends upon sanitizing and stabilizing Iraq! If we leave now, Iraq will fall prey very shortly thereafter to the predations of Iran, Syria, Islamic Jihad, Hezbollah, Hamas, Al-Qaeda, and other militant Islamic extremists who will use Iraq as a springboard to threaten American interests both at home and abroad. Add to this the very real propaganda victory we would give to the terrorists that "The Great Satan is weak and defeated!". If we lose in Iraq by giving it back to the terrorists, how long until we're conducting anti-IED patrols in American cities? How long until our children ride in armored school buses? How long until our mothers, wives, daughters can recognize the sound of a mortar and are never far from their gas mask? Ask Israel.

Simply put, anyone who advocates "pulling out" of Iraq before they can stand on their own two feet is not only condemning the fledgling Iraqi democracy to death, but our own country as well.

Sure, they have a fancy title (meteorologist) and a cushy job (being on TV to be more-or-less accurate about the weather), but today I had an epiphany revealing the horrid true profession of weathermen: scapegoat.

You see, noone in human history has been able to predict the weather with any high degree of accuracy. Hence the percentages ("10% chance of precipitation" "20% chance of thunderstorms") and the generalizations ("warm fronts" and "cold fronts") that are currently employed; they make "We don't have a friggin' clue" sound sooo much more intelligent. Simply put, "meteorologists" are the only professionals that get paid to tell folks things that aren't neccesarily true on a regular basis... since I don't generally consider lawyers and politicians to be professionals.

But since this information is given over the nightly news, and can be spoken by any lamebrain cognizant enough to read a teleprompter *coughkatiecouriccoughcough*, why invent a class of people to do this instead of merely having the co-anchor reel it off?

Because the liberal media cannot afford to have average people believe that a news anchor would knowingly lie to them.

After all, the "trusted, impartial journalist" and the "unbiased" media are bastions of the liberal platform. If their integrity were to be questioned (such as when Dan Rather knowingly informed the nation of President Bush's absenteeism from military duty using documents he knew to be faked as proof), why, the whole system could come crashing down!! Horrors!!

So enter the weatherman: a kindly, amusing, trustworthy fellow who means you no harm and can bald-facedly tell you a lie or less-than-truth day after day... and who saves the face of the anchorman. Because we can't have anchormen who tell lies, right Dan?

Is it any wonder I'm single? I had three dates fall through this week: one canceled due to work; one didn't have the guts to tell me she wasn't interested, and just chose not to answer or return a phone call until I figured it out for myself; the third because I screwed up.

Every time I fail, every time I have a major shortcoming or disappointment or mistake, I get the voice inside that tells me to eat my gun. I've never done it (obviously), but is there I point where I'll stop resisting? What do I do when I feel like I'm just a failure? What do I do when I know that I have noone to blame but myself; I've been overly blessed with talents and abilities and friends&family, but I've squandered them all. What do I do if I feel the Voice winning?