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Mark Wirtz



Last Updated: 12/6/2009

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Status: Single
City: Tampa
State: Florida
Country: US
Signup Date: 12/2/2006

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Wednesday, November 11, 2009 

Category: Writing and Poetry
By Mark Wirtz (creator of "A Teenage Opera")
from his book "Cooking for Cannibals":

HOLLYWOOD

Nobody conceived it. Nobody intended it. 
It emerged. 
Somehow. 
Like a third breast on a clandestine woman. 
Somewhere. 
In a barren, sun baked Southern California sandbox. Spawned by notions, dreams and lust. They called it:

HOLLYWOOD
Imagine...
The world's greatest Marionette Theater. Where heaven and hell overlap. Where devils dance with saints. 
Where Beauty and the Beast trade underwear.
The strangest ghetto on earth. In which its spellbound captives pray not for escape but for entrance.
Where everybody fits, for everyone's a misfit.
Where there is but one Commandment, "Thou Shalt Not Get Caught".
Where passion mutates into addiction.
Where friendship is disposable.
Where principles are mutable.
Where love is negotiable.
Where promises are tactical.
Where honesty is a poker game.
Where nature's clock doesn't tick but sighs - hexing time into a stretching, pulling rubber band that fools us.
Where there is no future, for nothing ever lasts long enough to become one. Only past and present; an endless cycle of beginnings and middles; dreams from which we awaken before we find out what happens in the end.

HOLLYWOOD.

The mild tempered boiling pot.
Which forever simmers but never boils.
Over a furnace to which eagerly rallies, compelled to worship at the shrine of wishful thinking, mesmerized by blind faith vision, dying to be consumed for an elusive moment, that wondrous congregation called:

ARTISTS

That peculiar creed of obsessive narcissistic masochists, who obsessively feed their bulimic self-esteem with creations and illusions; cursed to embrace perpetual rejection as a way of life; driven to take their pains to market.

HOLLYWOOD

Where heroes and villains of legends past resurrect and gather at the perennial festival of Deja Vu to once again challenge their futile quests...Sisyphus rocking 'n' rolling, Icarus soaring too close to the sun, Don Quixote battling the infernal windmills...
That's Hollywood.
Bewitching the world as the purveyor of happy endings, yet eternally in search of its own.

(c) mw

(From "Cooking For Cannibals" - The Book)

http://www.markwirtz.com


12:24 AM 
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Wednesday, November 04, 2009 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Hello friends,

I have entered the 2010 YobiLaughTv comedy contest and kindly request your perusal and vote at the following link:

Thank you for your support!

Cheers!

Warm best,
Mad Mark

P.S. There is a one-time, no hassle registration to protect the contest's integrity.
8:20 PM 
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Saturday, June 27, 2009 

Current mood:  grateful
Category: Music
Hello music friends,

Please remember to vote for my rockin' poppin,' squeaky-clean, family-friendly, jungle-jolly, retro-ish, boogie-woogie, baybeeBoomer-safe, Reailty-Rock music track "ELEPHANT SONG" in the online YOBISing contest at:

DEADLINE: Sunday 28th, 10:00 p.m. EST

Thank you!
7:33 PM 
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Friday, June 26, 2009 

Current mood:  optimistic
Category: Music
Hello, dear Friends,

You think my comedy sucks, but you like my music? You are not alone. Many of my old (baby-boomer) friends and fans in particular, to whom I have been the Walt Disney of music, liken my comedy to Disney molesting Mickey Mouse (sigh, comedy is a hard life).

Soooo, out of mercy for those of you who feel like that about my stuff, I have entered a music (!) submission in the international YOBISing contest: "The Elephant Song." Yes, I did! And guess what? Not only does it fit my pious musical Disney image, but my good friend, web artist Rozeeee Edwards, has put together a Disney-ish slide-show clip for it. Uh-huh! It's all good, clean fun (no "dirty-mouth" Mad Mark poo-poo!) Even the baby AND the baby sitter can watch and listen to it without fear of corruption! In fact, if baby is cranky, this will make it go ga-ga-ga and go to sleep, dreaming of all the happy creatures dancing around the elephant and his special chimpanzee friend... So, please vote for the track and me, and spread the word. Please.

Here is the direct link for my YOBI voting page:
The required membership is a free, simple, no hassle, one-time requirement to protect the integrity of the contest and voting process.

Only one vote per person per week until I am a semi-finalist (which could take a week, or several weeks). After that, no votes necessary until the finals round in the Fall...

Thank you for your support!
1:56 PM 
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Saturday, May 23, 2009 

Current mood:  optimistic
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Hello friends and fans,

Just one last chance to crack that egg into the pan in the YOBI.tv Laugh contest. Deadline for the final vote is 6:00 p.m. Eastern on Wednesday, May 27th.  But why wait? Why not simply click the link below now and git 'er done? Hey, and check out the new personal message/bio clip post while you're there. :)

http://yobi.tv/yobilaugh/finalists/view/8

Yobi will announce and interview the winners on May 28th

An award show will be streamed on May 29th.

Thank you for your support and votes!  Fingers crossed.

Cheers!


'Mad Mark' Wirtz

7:12 PM 
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Sunday, May 17, 2009 

Current mood:  grateful
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Dear, dear, dear, dear friends, sorta kinda dear friends, and acquaintances yet friendly ones,

Today is the last voting day in the 5th semi-final round of YOBI.tv.'s laugh contest in which I am a contestant. After 11 p.m. EDT, only five of us will remain to battle it out in the finals. Your thumbs-up vote for me can make me one of those finalists. You got the power so please use it, you lovely duhlings you! Here's the link:

http://www.yobi.tv/yobilaugh/semifinalists/view/41

Thank you very much! See ya in the winner's circle!

Cheers,
Mad Mark

5:01 PM 
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Friday, May 08, 2009 

Current mood:  bouncy
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Hello friends,


Just a brief reminder that round 4 of the YOBI.tv Laugh contest ends this Sunday, May 10th, at 11:00 p.m. Eastern.  If you would like to vote for me (that would be sooo cool!:)  but haven't already done so for this week, please click the link below:

http://www.yobi.tv/yobilaugh/semifinalists/view/41


The final semifinalist round, #5, starts Monday, May 11th, at 1:00 a.m.  With your help, I can make it!


Thank you for your support and enthusiasm!


Keep the rock rolling and your smiles smooth and frosty!


Cheers!


Mad Mark

6:15 PM 
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Sunday, April 19, 2009 

Current mood:  blissful
Category: Life
Hello you luvly Duhlings,

Guess what? I'm a semi-finalist in the international YobiTv comedy contest, that's what :) Feel like helping me win, so I can become rich and famous, and get an even bigger head than I already have? Then do this:
* Click on the link below and give me a thumbs-up vote. Do it today, please, because there are five rounds, and the first round ends tonight at 11:00 p.m. EST (I'm a bit late posting this because I was on the road).

Mad Mark Wirtz on YOBI TV

Thank you for voting for me and loving me passionately!!
Cheers and mmmmmmmwuh!,
'Mr. Romantick' - Mad Mark
5:51 PM 
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Tuesday, October 28, 2008 

Current mood:  thoughtful

Hello friends :)

Relationships are a bitch these days, aren't they? First, it's almost impossible to find someone, and when we do we break up over the craziest reasons!

Here, as an example, is a brand-new live clip of my Rooftop/Aspen Comedy Festival submission, including "CYBERLOVE" (featuring special guest ROBIN SAVAGE):

http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/MadMarkWirtzOct222008

Thank you for watching and rating (please be kind),
Cheers!
Mad Mark

4:05 AM 
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Sunday, October 05, 2008 

Current mood:  bouncy
Category: Music

Hello you lovely duhlings! :)

For your review and entertainment: A brand-new clip of my first-ever live musical performance of "Excerpt from (LOL) 'Love Is Eggshaped.'"

Don't believe me? Check it out (and give it a high rating, puleeeze!) at:

http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/MadMarkWirtzOct012008

Thank you for watching!

Mmmmmmmwuh!

Mad Mark

12:07 AM 
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