Ways to get stabbed by me.
1. People putting their feet on my chair.
--Ok, could you be more of a jackass? I will kill the next person to do this, I have nothing to loose.
2. In a theatre, nearly 10 minutes into the film, people walking in and SITTING infront of me.
---Why is it always me? And it's ALWAYS a fat headed bastard blocking my view. ALWAYS. I have proof.
3. People walking into my room without my permission
---You don't belong there, period. It's not like I'm a guy, I'm not hiding playboy mags under my bed. My room=private area. Like my vagina.
4. People knocking while opening the door at the same time.
---Wtf is that? Just because you knocked doesn't mean "come in". Your a total douche bag if you do this. There will be consequences.
5. People coughing and covering their mouth with their hand.
---That is DISGUSTING. If you cough, and you don't have enough time to get up and leave my bubble, don't cover it with your germed up hand. Use your arm, idiot. If you do though, wash your hands immediately, DUH. If you don't, you are officially trailer trash. That's just common sense. But common sense really isn't that common these days....
6. Coming up to me while I'm watching tv and flipping through channels, and telling me to a. stop! or b. I'm going too fast. I have the remote. I have the power. When thou has thy remote, then you have the power. Or else, shut the hell up.
7. Insulting me then telling me to do something.
---Ok, that mainly concerns the parental units, but isn't that stupid? Communists.
WARNING: explicit language (hopefully this doesn't apply to any of you)
8. Telling me not to use swear words.
--Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck...Fuck.
(it's just a word. like love, it's just a word...)
And freaking Shakespear, the French, and the British basically made it an artform.
Thou crusty beetle-headed whey-face!
Favorites:
(I'm still looking up funny british ones)
1. Bitch (BUT, the kicker is only when a guy says it to a guy. That is just HILARIOUS)
2. Fuckface. (again, wonderful to use in any situation and will result in laughter.)
3. Tits (well, that's what they are...)
4. Dibshit (..classic. gets me everytime.)
5. Jesus Christ, Peter, Paul, and Mary and the other Apostles. (oh kathy..)