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BLAH, BLAH, BLAH psychotic musings....TIME TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!

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Psychotic Ambition



Last Updated: 11/23/2009

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008 

Current mood:  cheerful
SCRAPBOOKS screening this weekend!

African American Film Marketplace
"It's Inevitable" Theme

Raleigh Studios
Saturday September 25
6pm

Sunday September 26
12:30pm

MORE INFO HERE
http://www.bherc.org/Film_Festivals/AAFMarketplace/schedule.html
11:30 AM 
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Thursday, October 09, 2008 

Current mood:  fascinated
Category: Travel and Places

I went on a roadtrip recently. Packed up the car and the dog and headed East! LOL! I drove my trusty Toyota to Chicago. Something on my spirit was moving me to GO! I knew I needed this alone time, 36 hours on the road there adn 36 hours on the road back. Just ME, MYSELF and I! And people, I must say it was ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!


I can't even begin to describe the visions, the nature, the mountains, the sunrises and the sunsets that truly touched my heart in such a way a few times I had to pull over and just cry. I was in so much awe and so HUMBLED looking at God's Creations.

Looking at the mountains, the rivers, the valleys and the hills. OMG!

When I hit Arizona, I pulled over so many times my dog was looking at me like I was crazy. I would pull over when I saw the sign that said "Viewing Area, 1 Mile". And would sit. And look. And cry. And pray.

If He can create and carve majestic (STAGNANT!) things such as a mountain, what more can He do for my life? What can he carve out of MY LIFE? Out of flesh and blood. YOU TELL ME!

There was this one spot, literally I was speechless. I sat on top of a mountain and looked out at a desert. I looked at boulders and canyons and watched the sun move across the sky. LIL OLE ME!

Since this trip, I now understand the saying "My eyes have seen the Glory".

You realize how small but how special YOUR LIFE is. How some things are so minute that you can't believe how BIG we make certain issues.

How some things are from God and we completely discard it. How blessings are JUST FOR YOU, YOUR LIFE, YOUR BEING, YOUR SOUL and we fear them.

"Without GOD, you can not.

Without YOU, He will not".

Be blessed people.

7:56 AM 
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Friday, June 13, 2008 

Current mood:  contemplative
If Eternity is everlasting, doesn't that mean that we are in it right now?! And if we are in the middle of eternity, endless time until the Lord sees fit, we are just these beings on a tiny tiny spectrum of the timeline. What are you doing with your time? Are you wasting it or utilizing it?

Eternity is such an awesome concept is it not? This universe has been in existence for billions of years, and here we are. At THIS time, at THIS place, with THESE people surrounding us. Why now? Why weren't you designed and roaming the earth 100 years ago, why not 10,000 years ago…

FOR SOME GODLY REASON, you are designed to be the person you are RIGHT NOW on this neverending spin through space on the timeline of "eternity"….

How amazing and awesome is that??

hmmm….
3:04 AM 
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Thursday, April 10, 2008 

Current mood:  adventurous
So a film that I played the lead in "A Baby Away", directed by Courtney Franklin, got accepted into the Hollywood Black Film Festival. YAAAY!!
BUT *blah*, Scrapbooks didn’t get accepted. So I had my moment as a producer, like "DAMN!" aint nobody biting! But I know it’s mainly because of the length. Too long to be considered a "short" technically, but too short to be a feature.
*Shrug*

Anywhoo, as an actress, I am still frikkin excited. Going to the festival baby! Your girl was the lead, in every scene of the movie, lookin damn good too I might add! HEHE

The movie is about a model whose husband wants to have kids, is putting her modeling career before a family.
Starring: Nikki Love & Dearl Nelson.

so yeah, i’m trying to come up. got an email from a recent connection with BETJ, Scrapbooks might possibly be airing on it!! *crossed fingers and a prayer*

one step in front of the other. keep it moving. trying to be on a hustle. who’s coming with me??!

oh yeah, check out the updates to REEL Ladies. www.reelladies.wordpress.com.
next event will be at the bungalow club on labrea and willshire....or is it western? *wink*
4:47 AM 
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Tuesday, March 18, 2008 

Current mood:  enthralled

Ok, now I understand the Obama Fever!!! This man did the damn thang!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow is all I have to say...think this one might go down in the history books


 





..

10:20 PM 
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Monday, March 17, 2008 

Current mood:  disappointed
Some days are rough. Some days you know in your soul, in your gut, that you are going to bring forth everything you’ve ever dreamed of. And some days, you have to talk yourself outta just packing up and heading home.

The No’s

*Sigh*Scrapbooks didnt get into Tribeca. Damn. That’s like 4 festivals. A waste of money. Beverly Hills Shorts said no, Atlanta said no, Tribeca, and the Black Maria.

Waiting to hear from Hollywood Black Film Festival and LA Film fest. Still have to submit to Chicago REEL Shorts, Napervill, Martha’s Vineyard and a few more.

In the meantime I am going broke!!!

The Yes’s:

REEL Ladies is really taking off! I have to call Ms. Palcy back after the 20th because she was travelling. WhoooHoo!

Got an email back from Tanya Kersey’s publicist and she is able to do the radio show Thursday Evening!!! She is the founder/creator of the Hollywood Black Film Festival.

OH....and Taraji Henson’s publicist said Taraji is out of town right now filming Tyler Perry’s movie, but contact her in April and we can set something up!! YAY

*sidenote* but then i start thinking, why aren’t I out filming Tyler Perry’s movie??? damnit. here comes that old self doubt demon. So do the yes’s outweigh the no’s? Not really. REEL Ladies is a side thing. My "side project" has more doors opening than my acting career. That’s sad. I haven’t booked a project, short film, commercial, feature...NOTHING in like 3 months. AAAGGGHHH!

So we are going to see what happens. The strike is over. Got new headshots, signed with two new agencies. Next step is finding a manager. SUBMIT SUBMIT SUBMIT. Somebody has to say yes right?? If Taraji can say yes, if Ms. Palcy can say yes, if Tanya Kersey can say yes, then damnit, a producer a casting director can say yes too right? How hard is it to form your mouth to say the word....not that hard at all....

back to the drawing board
7:46 PM 
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Friday, March 14, 2008 

Current mood:  adventurous
I am soooo excited, and motivated, and inspired, and humbled!
Progress:
I called Ms. Euzhan Palcy. WOW! She is definitely interested in REEL Ladies (had to change the name, tell you about that in a minute). Said for me to call her back after the 20th. And thank you for thinking of her.

Got an email from the Alliance of Women Directors, they want to team up with us on a few events! Ms. Vicky Sampson reached out to us and told us about it, and said we should "cross pollinate" our organizations. ORGANIZATION?? I have an organization?? OK, I will buy it!
It hadn’t even crossed my mind to go that route, I just wanted to spotlight women and put out information.

Touched bases with Stacey Parks, Founder of Film Specific. Will be spotlighting her and collaborating on a few things!

Setback:
Which isn’t actually a setback, cuz me and keena were thinking about it anyway. So I get an email from REEL Women saying that I HAVE TO STOP USING THAT NAME or else...kinda thing. They have a trademark, and I will get sued, etc...do a trademark search, and yes, I have to change the name. Changed it from REEL Women in Film,
to REEL Ladies on the Spot! (let me know how that sounds, cuz that was something real quick like that we had to change the names on the newsletters, blog, email, etc...

OH YEAH, check out REEL Ladies

Put that up a few days ago. Getting some great hits and feedback, and we are just getting started!!

So plans are by the end of the summer, doing a HUGE event, (yes D’Angelo, MEN will be invited to this one!). Looking into a few venues. Looking into some sponsors and vendors and all that crap. Getting a conference room, some panel speakers, etc...

Point is...I’m just gonna ride this thing until the wheels fall off.

www.REELLadies.wordpress.com
2:41 PM 
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Wednesday, March 05, 2008 

Current mood:  shocked

LAAWWWWWWDDDD have mercy!

So, I started my REEL Women in Film Spotlight project.

Newsletters, which gave me the idea that I can do my radio show as well, which led to the idea well if I'm doing Radio, might as well do TV and book the Time Warner Studio (go drop off my check tomorrow!!). And if I'm meeting up with these women and listening to their stories, might as well have everyone meet on up, why don't I plan a mixer, matter of fact I need to expand my database to bring the women out, matter of fact, get the database big enough, spotlight a women in film AT the mixer, show a short film and do a brief Q&A, network. But in order to network and make it worth everyone's while, then I gotta have some good people there. So I need to get on the stick! (Now, I wouldn't necessarily recommend this next step, cuz it's kinda illegal!!) But stayed up all week till the wee hours and build up my database from 120 women to ohhhhhh about 726!!! Sent out my newsletter, nobody has cussed me out yet, so let me start getting some big women in my database and see if they cuss me out. NOPE!

So the thing I'm FRIKKIN GEEKED OUT about is that while I'm looking for my interesting Women in Film History to add to the newsletter, I stumble on Euzhan Palcy. The FIRST BLACK WOMAN to direct a motion picture studio film. Damn read up on her, get very intrigued, IMDB her. The movie she WROTE & DIRECTED:

A Dry White Season~ starring Susan Sarandon, Donald Sutherland, MARLON BRANDO! damn...right?? So I'm like wow, I can write a little paragraph about her on my newsletter. See that she is still working. Has 3 projects in development RIGHT NOW. Hmmmmmmm......

Dig around some more. Find her lawyers contact info, send out a random email:

"I know this might be a long shot. But if there is anyway that I can get a hold of Euzhan Palcy. I have a Women in Film TV & Radio show that starts next week. I spotlight different women in the various aspects of the Film Industry. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to interview her. I saw on IMDB that she was currently working on a new film project. Is there any way that you can pass this message along to her??!! I would be forever grateful!! :)"

Short and sweet right?

WELL...this is the response I get when I get home from work waiting for me in my inbox...

"Nikky,
You did the right thing ! Miss Palcy is currently in France. She is about to travel to the Carîbean and will be back to France on March 19th. BUT, you can try her on her cell  ************
My best to you
Elisabeth Lehman
Miss Palcy Assistant."

 

WHAAAAAATTTTT!!!!! Just like that?????? lawd have mercy!

Bout to be on my grind people. Wish me Luck!!!!


4:14 AM 
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Wednesday, March 05, 2008 

Current mood:  adventurous


YOU'RE INVITED!

JNL Media & Kashke Productions have teamed up to bring you
REEL Women in Film!


Come out and be a part of the new experience of celebrating Women in Film & Television in all areas of the Entertainment Industry. It will be a journey you do not want to miss.

Wine, Music, Appetizers, Short Film, brief Q&A with the Woman on the Spot, Networking...

ALL of this for ONLY $10!!

Thursday, MARCH 26, 2008!

 DONT MISS OUT!

Thanks,

Keena Ferguson and Nikki Love
Kashke Productions & JNL Media

VIEW INVITATION HERE

4:11 AM 
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Friday, February 15, 2008 

Current mood:  exhausted
i need a break. a good week of absolute MINDLESSNESS!!!
pray for me yall.
wisdom, patience, strength, tenacity, creativity, love.
I'm running on E here
5:35 AM 
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Saturday, February 09, 2008 

Current mood:  exhausted
saw this survey on khalilah's page, and thought it was pretty interesting!


If you could rid the earth of 3 things, what would they be?:
roaches, the $2 bill (what the hell am i going to do with those things?? what cost $2 nowadays anyway), periods

What is one thing in life you feel most guilty about?:
i will never tell!!!! :)

If you could've known someone as a child that you know now who would it be?:
my SELF

Who is the single most charming person you have ever met?:
met a few that i may have only had a 20 minute convo with, yet and still walked away with something that totally changed my life, or my views, or equipped me with a piece of knowledge i didnt have previously

If you could eliminate one emotion from your life, which would it be?:
drunkeness. if could drink like i used to, i would be a happy camper

You suddenly find yourself at the Pearly Gates - make your case for entry:
i tried to make a difference

If you could give one thing to each of your ex-lovers, what would it be?:
not a damn thing. it's a reason they are an ex in the first place!

If you had to confess the most evil thing you've ever done what would it be?:
too many to name.

What is one personality trait you've tried hardest to change in yourself?:
ummm didnt really try that hard

What would you say is the silliest thing people do in general?:
keep fooling with folks that they KNOW are trifling, and then get mad when at some point down the line, that person lived up to who they revealed themselves to be in the first place.

What is the most difficult goodbye you've ever said?:
my father

What is the grossest thing you ever put in your mouth?:
a dick. i mean seriously, think about it...nut, piss, and secretions come from this thing, and you put it in your mouth and suck till it makes your jaws hurt. seriously

Who is the biggest hypocrite you have ever met?:
some of my family members

Decide a new punishment for convicted murderers, besides the death penalty:
war.

What would you say is the most beautiful word in your own language?:
yahweh

What was your worst case of putting your foot in your mouth?:
too long to type the story

What is the most embarrassing moment of your life?:
walking down the street with a big period stain, and wondering why the hell all these damn people are looking at me. i kept thinking, i know my hat aint that damn cute!! LOL

If the U.S. had to sacrifice one state, which one would you give away?:
mississippi. just cause i hate how many letters are in it


Out of all your friends, who do you think would be easiest to seduce:
all of my friends are sluts and whores, they would be easy to seduce!! :)

If you were 6 inches tall for a day, what would you do?:
what the hell is there to do?? maybe sneak into peoples houses and be nosey

If God were to appear to you in any form, how would you want him to appear?:
just as He already does

If you could forget one thing, what would it be?:
being raped

Would you ever want to date yourself as a member of the opposite sex?:
damn skippy! this is ole nikki love you talking about!!! LOL

Would you ever have your spouse followed to find out if they were cheating?
nah, takes too much energy. the truth always comes out eventually. and most of the time, if you think your spouse is cheating, then they probably are

Did you ever have an imaginary friend? How would you describe them?:
just books and movies. my imagination took me to quite a few places. but friends, no.

If God were to grant you one favor, what would you ask?
just let me in when it's all over and done with

If you could invent one new home appliance, what would it do?:
a vibrator that could wash clothes and cook

What is one occassion that you were unjustly angry?:
if i'm pissed, better believe theres a damn good reason.

Who is one old friend you wish you could go back, apologize to and start over with?
nobody

If you could be smarter or prettier which would you pick?
richer

If you could be the parent of some one who changes the world - what would you like them to do?
change the mindset of a lot of minorities.

If you could stop one major crime from having ever taken place - which would it be?
abortions

if you could commit one crime and get away with it forever - what would it be?
killing my bitch ass sister in law

If you could have one superpower what would it be?
to make money magically appear!!!

If you had a million dollars that you had to donate to 2 charities which would it be?
the nikki love foundation, and the jnlmedia foundation :P
3:47 AM 
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Thursday, January 31, 2008 

Current mood:  awake

Here are the rules:

Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog or bulletin with 10 weird random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose 10 people to be tagged, list their names, and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave a comment that says, "you are tagged" on their profile and tell them to read your latest blog. Have Fun!

Random Facts about me:

1. I had watched the film "Peggy Sue Got Married" so many times, when I was little, my mom banned it from the house! 

2. I got my nosed pierced when I was a freshman in college by my 14 yr old cousins friend that lived down the block. She came over and talked about how she just pierced her nose herself, and I told her to do mine! :) 

3. I was once so broke in ATL that I SERIOUSLY contemplated being a stripper and stood outside of the infamous Gold Club by the Lindbergh Station for about a good hr and half crying!!! *thank the lord for faith!*

4. I LOVE LOVE LOVE "Requiem of a Dream", if you haven't seen it, make sure you watch. WOW is all I have to say

5. I find peace and am awed and humbled looking at mountains.

6. I have learned that my strength lies in my struggle

7. I eat cold chicken and hotdogs. :)

8. I am a conspiracy theorist. Dont trust none of those fuckers. Yet, I tend to lean towards the republican side!! go figure...

9. I have seen ghosts, angels, fought with demons, and all that spiritual warfare. So my faith in God is UNSHAKEABLE! even though i swear like a sailor, drink like a fish, and a have road rage that is out of this world. yeah yeah, i'm working on it, kinda, sorta. LOL

10. PLANS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!! oh but you know that already *shrug*


OK...now I have to pick 10 people to tag.

1. Brittney: cuz I know when she gets bored, she will get around to doing this. And i've only hear snippets of her story and am intrigued.

2. Pedro: cuz he's retarded and will make me laugh.

3. Sun: because that brotha is deep as hell and real. his poetry is the SHIT! curious to tap into some unknown information

4. Naomi: cuz i know she will find a way to answer the questions, without revealing too much of herself, but she will keep you so entertained, you forget you wanna learn more about her (i peeped her game awhile ago!! she aint slick yall)

5. RuRu: mi prima. just when you think you know everything about a person, you find out more that surprises you.

5. Dave: because he is the most ignorant, craziest jewish dude i know (outside of hubby) and makes me laugh. even tho he probably won't do it. but hey...get him drunk enough, dave is up for ANYTHING!! hehe

6. Khalilah: she's a hustler. much respect

7. Joanndith: met her thru the world wide web, and found my TWIN!

8. Leandra: one of my closest friends throughout highschool, and haven't seen her in forever. wanna get reacquainted with my old friend. it's been years.

9. Rodgell: He's pursuing the dream

10. Ayanna, cuz she's the person most likely to blog this!

6:34 AM 
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Wednesday, January 30, 2008 

Current mood:  focused
So I had our final rehearsal last night for "Catt Tales". We film that next week. I'm excited about it. Have last minute things to do that for that one. Props, set dressing, etc...
7 page script about 2 best friends. One gets sucked into the drug and porn world living here in LA.

Working on another film project for a friend of mine. "Kai". 11 page short film about addiction. I'm just coming aboard as production coordinator, but damn...it's a lot of paperwork! And since it's her first film wearing the producing hat, I'm going above and beyond the call of duty!!! LOL

Finishing up on the Empowered Woman TV show. I can't believe how many problems and bullshit we ran into trying to get this thing edited! So we are like 3 weeks behind schedule, and I'm just ready for this thing to be over with.

Holding auditions Sunday for the project I'm working on next month. For a short film called Gumbo. 2 wives find out they are married to the same man, while eating a bowl of gumbo. I won't tell yall about the ending, but has a great twist to it. Will be directing that one.
So all that to say: Pre-production on 2 projects. Principal Photography beginnin next week on another project. Post Production on ANOTHER project! WHEW
So busy busy busy. And I am WORE THE FUCK OUT!!!!!
My mind has been racing so much, I've taken sleeping pills the past 4 nights, so that I can sleep for more than 5 hrs without jumping out the bed, scaring the hell outta hubby, and racing to the computer to make myself notes so that I don't forget anything!! Almost gave that man a heart ache last week.

Gonna take my butt to bed now. And tomorrow go to work, then to this audition that I don't even remember which project I submitted on, come home, hop on the computer for 5 hrs, and then crash.

Lord give me strength. That's all I ask.
7:50 AM 
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Sunday, January 27, 2008 

Current mood:  stoked

Film for sale!!!
Right Place, Wrong Time
Starring: Noah Smith, Nikki Love, Tamika Wheeler, Michael Teh
a HardyCarter Production

AMAZON


NETFLIX

dont be cheap fuckers!!!

8:07 AM 
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Saturday, January 26, 2008 

Current mood:  cranky
So I'm chillin on the couch browsing IMDB when this commercial comes on.
"Have a HAPPY period...Always".
Now here I am presently on my period, and wondering who in the HELL came up with that DUMB ASS slogan???
a HAPPY period?? are you kidding me? musta been a man that thought that one up. were there no women in the boardroom who coulda smacked the hell outta him for uttering those words?!
here i am cramping, bleeding heavily, popping painkillers and these fools have the nerve to say have a happy period!
i swear
11:01 PM 
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