Spent Monday evening, Tuesday morning and Wednesday evening rehearsing for the band for a local production of Thoroughly Modern Millie. There were loads of people I've known for years in it - some from music centre and high school, and a couple from primary school. On Thursday night, Friday night and Saturday afternoon + night we did shows at Pendley Court Theatre. It was good fun, and the show was fucking brilliant, but the fact that I was working every day as well as rehearsing meant that by the end of Saturday night's show I felt like a walking corpse. And I couldn't sleep much on Sunday morning, which didn't help me on my night shift. Still, I got through it and wasn't too tired.

On Monday afternoon I travelled up to Brum, since on Tuesday morning I had an interview for an HCA job in Elderly Care at Heartlands Hospital. I really REALLY wanted this job, since guaranteed employment in Birmingham would be my ticket out of Aylesbury.

Tuesday morning came around, and Ben gave me a lift to the hospital. I was really early, but they called me in anyway. The interview lasted about ten minutes. And it felt good. I actually enjoyed it, because I was speaking genuinely and passionately about my job, which I love.

Clearly it paid off, since at the end they asked me to wait two minutes. They called me back in and said "Basically, we want you. That was an excellent interview." I have to do a corporate induction before I can start, which they estimate will be around October/November, but I will definitely be there before Christmas.

I GOT THE FUCKING JOB. I AM LEAVING AYLESBURY IN A FEW MONTHS. I WILL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITH MY SISTER, THE MOST AMAZING PERSON IN THE WORLD, IN A GREAT CITY, DOING A JOB I FUCKING LOVE.

I AM HAPPY.







Since it was Ruth's birthday on Sunday and I'd just received fucking brilliant news, we went out for a celebratory drink when I got back. Beforehand I went round hers and gave her a cupla wee presents (a bag of mis-shaped rock bits from Skeggy and a skulls-with-headphones ashtray purchased that morning from Birmingham Rag Market), and she gave me a leaflet signed by the Manics at Reading (they played the night before her 18th - how fucking wicked is that?), and after some pre-pub drinks we headed off into town. We went straight to the Saracen, but since it was a Tuesday evening it was totally dead, so after a few drinks we came home at about 10.30ish and spent the rest of the night watching Buffy.

She stayed over and this morning we watched even more Buffy and Angel. Good times. I love Ruth. She's coming with me to the anti-vivisection carnival/protest in Ledbury on 6th Sept, and then to the London Vegan Fest on 7th Sept.

From 9th-16th Aug went to Louth, Lincs with Mum, Dad, Anicky, Grandpa, Becca + Ben (who only came for two nights).

A pretty fucking stressful week, mainly because the more time Becca + I spent around the family, the more we got ridiculously frustrated with... well, everything about them. Their opinions, their lifestyles, their behaviour and comments, the way they treat us (ie. like children), etc. etc. etc . It seemed as thought everything they did pissed us off (and we did a fair amount to piss them off too), so instead of completely enjoying a week relaxing with Becca, the two of us found ourselves behaving like really bratty teenagers, snapping back at everything they said, arguing and huffing and screaming (literally), ignoring them etc. etc. It was pretty hard not to just run out of the house shouting and throwing things. Possibly people.

But anyway, aside from the... erm, friction, we did managed to enjoy the week together. We watched loads of films and some Angel, went chazza shopping, went swimming three times (the house came with free membership to a fancy leisure centre which had a sauna and steam room and jacuzzi and everything.... nice), and we saw the Dark Knight at the local cinny. Oh, and we smoked a LOT of weed. I think we needed to.

The best day was when we went to Lincoln itself. As soon as we walked out of the car park we found a comic shop - clearly fate was smiling upon us. Before we went in it, we went out the other side of the wee mall it was in, to find ourselves on the main high street, with abour five chazza shops in spitting distance. We bought lots of comics, a few media + clothing-related things from the charity shops, and then went and sat in a pub garden for the rest of the day, smoking spliffs, manning the juke box and reading comics. It was actually like Utopia; Becca said it's her vision of how life will be after the revolution :D

Sarah's party
Sarah's 18th party was "S & P" themed (her initials, duh), and after toying with the idea of going as the Slayer, I decided it wouldn't be costume-y enough (it's Buffy that makes Buffy Buffy, not her outfits), so in the end I went as a pregnant woman. Several people actually thought I was pregnant, including Sarah's auntie who, by the by, is a professional caterer and had done all the food for the party, including doing a whole load of vegan stuff just for me, which was really nice (the gesture and the food......). Also, I got some funny looks when Missy + I stopped at Tesco on the way to buy booze. I'm sure it must've looked great; a "pregnant" 18-year old with a fag in one hand a bottle of spirits in the other.
There was a bouncy castle which was pretty fucking cool. Katy and Will turned up as Smurfs, complete with full blue body paint, which they managed to get on just about every single wall and door frame in the house (and because they both went home totally plastered, we had to clean it up....). Missy managed to demolish a mountain of rolls at about 2am in an attempt to sober up. It worked though; she was totally fine when she drove me home at 10am.

Comedy party pix (incl. me in labour...) on Facebook.

AYO Last Night Of The Proms
I got there really really early to practise for my solo. Just as well, because on trying it out I discovered that the Civic Centre piano is utter shite, and there was one part that I physically couldn't play properly without cutting myself on the keys (I'm not exaggerating...), so I had to make a minor "adaptation". Also, me + Steph (Sarah's sister, the solo singer) had our own dressing room. Not very swish, but it had Hollywood mirrors, a sink and a fridge, so who can complain? Plus the novelty of just having a dressing room can't be underestimated.

Anyway, I came on in the first half and looked into the audience to find the famerlee - including Ruth, who'd said she'd like to come - and when I saw them, I noticed there was one unexpected face... Becca had turned up to surprise me. I can only imagine what my face looked like, because I could feel my jaw dropping, and I was close to tears. That's how happy I was she was there.

First half went fine, then right at the end I had my solo. Fucking scary. But it went well, I was pleased with it, and at the end it felt amazing to have done it. All the work had paid off, and I'd really enjoyed myself, so it was totally worth it. The second half went fine, although it was all the patriotic nationalistic flag-waving stuff which makes me want to puke. Ah well.

At the end, me + Missy had planned to go out into town. But that was before I knew Becca was coming. She started to go home with Mum + Dad, looking sad, while I went with Missy. But then I just thought, "Fuck it, Becca's here and I want her with me!" so I told her to get in the car, and she came out with us. We went to the offy first, although they wouldn't serve me coz I was under 21 (I know, what the fuck?), so we tried another and then went back to Missy's for a bit. She has some tazi driver "on tap" who'll give her reduced/free rides because he thinks he's gonna get into her pants. It's incredibly creepy, and I think she genuinely can't see how wrong it is. Plus she drinks way too much. Before we even left the house she'd had 4 beers and about 2 pints of rum + lemonade. Anyway, we went out about 11 and ended up in the Hobgoblin for a bit. It was incredibly shit. Beyond description. Then Missy + her friends wanted to go to Litten Tree, so we followed. They wouldn't let Becca in without ID. I think this was a blessing in disguise, since town was so pathetic that we decided to just go home and get stoned in her room, which was a way better ending to the night.

In my dressing room


With my lovely sisters


Photoshoot
I got "nominated" by Vicky Warman to go and have this makeover and photoshoot done for free in London. Originally I wanted to take Sarah, but she was away. I couldn't take Ruth coz she wasn't 18. I asked Missy who agreed but then got the dates mixed up and was working. So then I asked Steffie to come, who agreed. We met outside the nearest tube station and then tried to find the place. I'd stupidly left the directions at home which turned out to be really problematic, coz even thought I knew the street it was on, I didn't realise it was inside a much bigger building with no signs saying what was inside, so we trapsed up and down the street for about half an hour before using Stef's phone to look up the directions on the internet and realising where it was. So we were half hour late, but it didn't matter. We spent a few hours being preened and then sat around for a bit before having the snaps done. Our photographer, Iggy, was actually really cool and made it pretty fun, whereas it could've been either really uncomfortable or just really really dire. In the end we liked loads of the pictures and had a hard time narrowing it down (which was incredibly necessary, since the photos were NOT cheap. Oh yeah, the makeover and photoshoot were free; the pictures were not). We ended up getting 8 each; I got 6 of me + 2 of both of us, and she got 7 of her and 1 of both of us. They're on Facebook.

AMC Summer Event
So I cried at the end. The previous day had been my last AMC rehearsal, and I'd given presents/cards to Hugh and Roy. Hugh gave me a "thank you for the card" card which made me cry, and also a rare antique book ..o playing. Afterwards me + Missy went out to the pub for a bit. We would've stayed out a bit longer, but we'd been drinking since 2pm and were both really tired, so we went home at 6pm. When I got in Mum was blubbing, which set me off again. It's weird not being there any more. It'll be even weirder in September.

Brum trip
Went up on Fri 18th to stay with Becca, and as soon as I got into New St. we got a train to Leicester, where they were doing a charity screening of Joss Whedon's Serenity in aid of Equality Now, which is a women's rights branch of Amnesty Intl. Fuck me, the film was fucking incredible. Becca got it for me for my birthday, but when she mentioned it being on at the cinny, I decided not to watch it, so I could enjoy it for the first time on the big screen. Which I really, really did. Fucking brilliant. But then what can you expect from the master?

The next evening there was a gig on at the Wharf with Garden Gang, Eastfield, d'CornerbOis and a cupla others. Was a good evening, and it was great to see people like Ben, Sam, Al + Jesse again.

Went home on Sunday morning since I was working a late.

Famerlee meal in Brum
The week before Gordon's birthday, Mo was in town, so she came with me, mum + dad up to Brum where we visited G, S, A & C and then in the evening the adults (woo, I can include myself in that bracket now....) went out for a meal with Becca as well, at some flash Indian place. Caleb is still a chunkster. Adam's hair is far too long.

Roanna's wedding
It's weird when childhood friends get married and have kids, isn't it? Roanna - who Becca grew up with - got married on 1st July. Mum & Dad were in Ireland at Trish's son's wedding, so Becca & I went instead, since it was one train stop away from her flat (Ro went to uni, and now works, in Brum). Since leaving home, Ro has become super religious. Properly intense. The wedding was so Godtastic, I almost couldn't believe it. Some insane preacher gave a half-hour sermon on how if you don't know + accept God, then you don't really know what love is (because God IS love), and so therefore it's totally pointless to love anyone, or even be nice to them. You might as well go through life being totally selfish and crap, since you're a pointless and empty human being without having God in your life. Also, a marriage is all about God, and you can't love anyone just because they have qualities which you find attractive. You only love them because it's a way of loving God... or something like that. Basically, without God, relationships are pointless, love doesn't exist and athiest are stupid, loveless creatures.

Yeah, that was pretty much the gist of it.

Nevertheless, it was really nice to see the Selbys. Ro had a cool LOTR-style silver headband thing on. We stayed around to take photos and abuse the free biscuits, and then went back to Becca's, since were weren't invited to the reception. We were, however, invited to the evening ceilidgh. Yeah. We went along, not really knowing what it would be like, but armed with spliffs to get us through the night. Unsurprisingly, we didn't dance. We just laughed at people dancing - one woman in particular who obviously knew all the steps, and was really dominant and school-teachery with her dance partners. Funny to watch. About halfway through they started playing some Iranian music, and Venus and her sisters started dancing, and then got a few more people up. Sadly it didn't take off properly, but it was much better than the stupid ceilidgh dancing.

Thurs night
I got the last bus into town... which arrived at 7pm. Yeah, village life sucks. Anyway, met Sarah and we decided we'd try the old "I'll hide from the bar staff while you get the drinks in" routine. But it didn't work, since the first place we went asked for my ID as well. Which was 5 hours away from getting me served. So we left. And went for a wander and a spliff. After about an hour of walking around (we'd thought maybe if we waited till places filled up a bit, it would be easier to be subtle), my feet were killing me and we were both bored. We realised it could be a really shit night of getting refused service, and Ruth had said she didn't feel much like coming out anyway. So instead we went home, picking Ruth up on the way, and had a MUCH better time at home, with plenty of music, drinks, kerazee dancing and spliffs. At the stroke of midnight I decided I wanted Manics 'Australia', and so we put it up on full volume and I danced like an idiot while the other two laughed at me. Mum and Dad came in with party poppers, and when the excitement had worn off a little, I opened my Amazon pressies from Ruth, Simon, Gordon + Sarah. I got:
* A Scanner Darkly
* 30 Days Of Night (Deluxe edition with graphic novel)
* X-Men 3
* White Stripes - Elephant
* Hot Chip - The Warning
* Sam Sparro - Black And Gold
* Alicia Keys - As I Am

A bit later Mum + Dad brought in my birthday cake, which was a vegan black forest gateau, and was fucking LUSH. The three of us watched a couple of Buffy eps, and then at some point (dunno what time) crashed in the living room.

Sarah + Roofy


Look at my presents!


On the stroke of midnight: I am now a mature adult


Cake


Cards


Flowers sent by Jason - the dude who used to bring me home from French on Wednesday nights. Yeah, I thought it was a bit weird but still a fucking nice gesture, and I emailed to say thanks + that he was insane, he said 'I decided that you are only 18 once and seeing as you are one of the coolest people I have met in the last year, thought to myself, "you know what... I'm just gonna do it!"'


MY ACTUAL BIRTHDAY
Woke up at made myself look pretty. Well, tried. After plenty of arsing around in the morning, we dropped Ruth + Sarah in town and then headed to Bletchley for a meal in Veggie World, which was fucking amazing. Seriously, they have about a gazillion option, all of which look like I want to roll in them and eat them forever. And the most realistic fake meat ever. Fucking incredible. After the meal, Mum + Dad gave me my pressies. I got:
* 2 perfumes
* A book about the holocaust, but narrated by Death
* a handbag
* one of those sleeping mask thingies
* A gorgeous celtic heart pendant from Dublin
* A wind-up shower radio

At veggie world

Food: Sweet n sour tofu, sweet n sour "prawns" and Malaysian curried "fish" (which had removable scaly skin and everything.....)




Then we had a bit of time before I had to be at MK station for the train to Brum, so we went around a few of the Bletchley chazza shops, and I got some CDs.
Got the train sometime after 3pm (it was delayed), and pulled into Brum @ 4.30.
WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the weekend had officially begun. Me + Becca + shitloads of good times ahead = the best birthday imaginable.
We had to go to the co-op on the way home (where I purchased my first legal bottle of vodka - oh yeah), then when we got back we had all evening to ourselves. Watched films + Buffy, ate yummy food, got stoned, Becca gave me pressies :)
* Serenity
* Ramones DVD
* Of Mice And Men
* ABC of Anarchism (which I'm halfway thru - it's fucking brilliant)
* Buffy top
* Buffy comic
* "But I like It!" (stoopid - yes, it has to be spelt that way - rock n roll comic thingy)

Gordon also came round to give me a comedy giant birthday card which we put in the window all weekend, so everyone would know where the party was. All in all, a fucking brilliant birthday. The three people I would absolutely most want to spend my 18th with are becca, Ruth and Sarah, and I got to spend it with all of them. Fucking excellent.

Saturday
We go the train to Leicester with Doug from the Brum wobblies for the BIROC annual conference - my first official meeting of any kind, never mind union stuff. But it was really interesting, I voted on stuff and actualy participated in discussions a cupla times. Meeting other wobs and being involved in the working of it all made me feel like I actually belong to the union, rather than just having a badge and being totally isolated (since there are no other wobs in a 30 mile radius, probably). We got given free vegan lunch, and at 6.30 Becca + I left to get the train back to Brum, nabbing some dinner with us as we went. Got back to the flat, prettied ourselves up and headed into town to the Wharf, where we met Ben, Dick + Steve. Steve bought me my first birthday drink, and after we'd sat out the back for a while, we went to the Wagon, where there was a drum n bass night on. It was... not as great as we'd anticipated, so after about half hour we actually left. Dick reckoned that Panic was on at the Barfly, but when we got there it was dead, so after a few minutes discussion we decided to head to the Academy, where we stayed til about 2am. Ok, the music wasn't the best, but we had drinks, drugs, adrenalin and fucking unbeatable company, so it was a wicked night. Really brilliant. There was a guy in a Wolverine suit there, so at some point I went and congratulated him on his cool outfit. After a few hours of dancing, we headed back to the Wharf where Jesse was, and stayed out in the wee courtyard by the (dying) fire, smoking + talking shit. There was a French bloke there, and since I was so mashed I thought it would be really cool to talk to him in French. But after I'd commented on the rising obesity levels in France, my decent French pretty much ran out, so we stuck to English. He told me all about how he'd studied Jazz (!), how his (not Jazz) band tour was going, how he was trying to "find himself" blah blah blah, and I offered reassuring advice and nodded in an interested way. That wasn't mean to be sarcastic... I was actually interested.

Anyway, at about 4ish we decided to head back to the flat, where we flopped down and enjoyed drinks, spliffs, music and sleep. Yeah. Ben + Dick eventually headed off at about 12ish, and after some further napping, Becca + I filled the rest of the day with Buffy + food + general chillin'.

Monday
Got the train in the morning, thanked Becca once again for a FUCKING WICKED weekend. Me + Dad were meant to be picking up Heather and Helen from the airport, but their flight had been cancelled and they were having to get a later one, so we went straight home and then I went out to work.
I had the most stressful shift ever. CAUTION: If you're squeamish, skip this paragraph. Ever ever. 2 discharges + therefore 2 beds to clean + 2 new patients to sort out. 2 falls, one of whom was a woman who'd apparently been waiting for an hour to go to the loo, and had decided to get up and walk (even though she can't), and fell. Her husband tried to catch her, and I had to tell him that it was much safer just to gently let her slide to the floor, coz otherwise he, she + I would all get hurt. Anyway, I went and got a nurse and we hoisted the woman back onto the bed. She had runny shit pouring out of her pad, and when she got on the bed it went everywhere. it was all over the hoist sling and everything. It took half an hour to get her totally cleaned up, since it was all stuck in her fat folds and everything. And all this time, there were buzzers going off everywhere, I kept tripping over coz that bay was full of wheelchairs and a hoist and everything. I did not get a moment's rest. I even wrote the wrong patient's notes in a folder and had to score it out and start again, coz I was too distracted to concentrate. I finished late and walk out fucking exhausted.

Heather + Helen were there when I got home, and I don't think anyone can not be cheered up by Heather, so at least I didn't go to bed feeling like shit (poor choice of phrase there...).

Tuesday: The Tattoo
Went into town at lunchtime, met Sarah + Ruth, had a pre-tattoo spliff, went in and got inked. SO NOT PAINFUL. My god, my nipple piercing hurt about three times as much, and that only lasted a few seconds. It was just tingly. Anyway, I'm totally happy with it. Wicked job thanks, Vince.

Work training days
At the end of April I had a three-day HCA induction course, and it was fucking brilliant. I learnt so much: diabetes, nutrition, urinary system + catheter care, digestive system + stoma care, care of the dying patient, foot care, skincare, mouthcare, pressure care, how to do basic stuff like taking pulse/BP/temp etc., infection control etc. etc. etc. It was really interesting and informative, and definitely valuable. Very glad I went on it (although it was mandatory, but still...) and the other people on the course were pretty cool as well.

Becca's birthday
Becca came home the weekend before her birthday, and two of us enjoyed sister time to the max; presents, films, spliffs etc. I fucking love Becca, I do. I don't think anything wildly eventful happened that weekend, but it was so long ago that I wouldn't be able to remember anyway.....

Working in Maternity
In May I did three bank shifts on the Maternity Unit at Stoke. The HCAs in Maternity actually do less than we do in Stroke Rehab, and there's much less patient contact (since they don't do Obs or anything), so i have to admit it was kind of... boring. The staff were nice, but I spent all shifts making beds and going on trips to pharmacy etc. I also did one shift in delivery suite, which was less eventful than a normal day down there, since there were no sections. However, I did get shown how to prep all the rooms etc., and I watched a woman being sutured after labour. OH MY GOD it was disgusting. I don't know whether it was coz I was tired, coz of the bright lights, coz I hadn't eaten since breakfast or just coz it was so fucking bloody and graphic, but I felt reaaaaaally funny. My head was all swimmy and light, and in the end I had to leave and sit down in the staff room and eat something, coz I thought I was about to faint. If there was ever a 0.01% chance of me having kids, that erased it completely. No thanks.

French Oral
I had my Oral exam in the middle of May, and it went really well. I felt comfortable and happy with what I was saying, and the examiner was really nice. At the end of the exam, we ended up talking for a further 10 mins (in English) about everything from the French transport system to the NHS - at which point I thrust an NBS-SOS sticker in his hand and got on my soapbox for about 30 seconds about NHS cuts. Since I was the last candidate, my teacher went in after and spoke to him. Apparently (in her words), "Oh my god Verity, he LOVED you! He kept saying he wished there were more students like you!" (Now imagine that in a French accent). So yeah, that was good.

Kat's 18th
Kat's 18th birthday party was held at some swanky bar in Reading called "The Island Bar", and it was actually on a little island in the river, ie. you crossed a bridge to get to it, and it was all on decking etc. Kat organised a coach to take us all from Aylesbury for free, which was cool. It was a nice place, but fucking over priced - ONE vodka + red bull cost me £6, so I ended up having to owe someone £2 for that single drink, or else I wouldn't have had enough for the taxi back from Aylesbury. Still, thankfully we had lots of drugs, so it was still a good night. I spent most of the time with Steph, Stuart and Tom, plus others who came and went into the conversation (yeah, we pretty much just talked all night, alternating between the sofas indoors and out on the deck). When we got back to Aylesbury, Stu said I could crash at his, which was pretty decent, so me + Tom stayed in the guest room. Needless to say, since I was pumped full of (legal) stimulants, the verbal floodgates had been opened, and Tom was treated to a couple of hours of my famour "gushing". Still, he reassured me that I was genuinely interesting to listen to, and we did have a good ol' catch up/deep conversation about the facts of life until about 6am when we both decided we should try (and fail) to get some sleep.
In the morning dad picked me up, but we had to go to fucking Tesco, and I was still in my party dress and high heels, so I ended up walking around the supermarket with no shoes on until the freezer aisle, where my feet got too cold. But at least then I could just come home and sleep for the rest of the day. Nice.

Cello Recital
On June 14th I had my long-awaited cello recital with Susan at AMC. The audience wasn't huge, but it went well, and it felt like we'd accomplished something, since the music we were playing was so fucking difficult. Also, lots of people I hadn't seen in ages turned up, and the cakes all sold well. In the end we raised £301.10 (+ £20 which Roy gave me a few days later, since he hadn't been able to come) which will be split between AMC and the hospice. I'm pretty fucking happy with that.

Final exams
They all went fine. Seriously, I can't be bothered to go into detail, since it's not interesting anyway. Apart from the first English paper, in which I had to write an article on dyslexia for a parenting magazine... Interesting. I felt a bit stumped in my French written exam, ie. I finished after about half the time and felt I hadn't written much, but I really couldn't think of another single word to squeeze out of my brain, so I left it at that. At the end of the day, these A-Levels are just for me. I'm not going to uni, and I don't need them for anything, so if I did do appallingly (which I don't think I have done), it wouldn't be the end of the world. It'd just be nice to do well. Anyway, on Thurs 19th I finished my LAST EVER A-Level, and headed home with a smile on my face, ready to turn 18. Hell yeah.

Ruth + Simon's Wedding
It was a really great day. It turned out to be less about Ruth + Simon as a couple, and more about the four of them as a family. After the marriage vows, they made separate vows to the girls, promising to love/support/respect them etc., and the whole day was really about 'cementing the family unit' or whatever. The food was REALLY good, and the music was pretty good too - as I'd expect it to be, considering their taste. Ruth looked amazing, and Simon was wearing a pretty swish purple jacket thing. Ben was ushering, and had to wear a badge saying "Uncle Ben - Happy to help", which he found pretty embarassing.
At dinner, Becca + I were sitting on a table full of strangers, but the woman next to me turned out to be pretty cool, and she snuck down a bottle of vodka from her room and shared it with us :D

Ireland
We set off early next morning for Holyhead, and then got the 3pm ferry to Dun Laoghaire. We'd aimed to get to Newtownards for 7pm if poss, so I could play in the 2nd String Orch concert (I'd already missed the 1st one due to the wedding), but thanks to a delay with docking, we didn't get to the venue til 9pm, when it had all finished. Still, I went back to the college with the others and after some time listening to hiphop with Missy + Sarah + co., got a pretty good night's sleep.

Next day we went to the Folk & Transport Museum, which was more fun than it sounds, purely coz we spent the whole time messing around and taking stupid photos of us violating the wax models. After that we went bowling (I came second last, but was UNDISPUTED CHAMPION of Dance Mat), and then ate at some American diner, where I ended up with a nice bowl of watery coriandery vegetable soup. Yum. Still, I don't care. It was vegan, and it was the cheapest thing on the menu.

We then had the last concert in the evening, which Mum + Dad came to, as well as Fiona. I did a solo (one of the pieces I'm doing in June) which went pretty well I thought. Afterwards we went back to the college for a QUIZ (funtimes!), which somehow ended up featuring me rapping "Irish Wrist Watch" in a bad Dublin accent, and a (scarily arousing) homoerotic rendition of Danny Boy from two of the guys... After that, Sarah + I shared a spliff with Missy + Beth before listening to my "Cigarettes & Alcohol" CD, complete with terrible dancing, and then finally hitting the sack.

On Tuesday morning Mum, Dad + Becca came and picked me up, and we drove to Warrenpoint and had lunch at Copper (that place we went last time with loads of good vegan food). After lunch we went to see Trish, Martin, Ruth and (briefly) David. We stayed there for a good couple of hours, and then went on to Jo's for dinner. There was some awkwardness over the actual meal itself, coz Jo came in with the recipe book just to double check that it was in fact vegan, and it turned out that it contained pesto, which she hadn't realised wasn't ok, so the whole sauce was off the menu. She ended up giving us a makeshift combination of rice and veg, which was totally fine, but she was obviously really distressed by it, and Becca + I felt bad for being the "difficult vegan guests", even thought it wasn't actually our fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. Anyway, it didn't matter in the end, and we had a nice evening.

When we got back to the house, Becca + I waited til Mum + Dad had gone to bed so we could have a bedtime spliff. But there was a problem. The window was stiff as fuck. It was practically painted shut. With the two of us giving it a lot of heave, we managed to get it open about 4 inches. But we had to do it really carefully so we didn't make too much noise. When it got stuck, we even tried putting shampoo down the sides to loosen it. It was like something from a comedy sketch: two desperate stoners in their pyjamas, trying to open a sticky window as silently as possibly in order to satisfy their herbal cravings. We had to give up at 4 inches, and so ended up smoking with our faces pressed right up against the window.

And then we had to shut it again.

In the morning, Mum walked in and said "I have to say, Helen and Richard don't smoke, and they won't be happy you've been doing it in here. If you insist on doing it, you'll have to go outside. The room smells."

Late Wednesday morning we headed off into Belfast. We went to Dunnes first, where I got a tankini and some pants, and then we went and did the chazza shops on the Lisburn Road. I ended up with a fair stack of stuff; clothes, tapes, vids/DVDs, books, earrings etc. Just before we left, Becca and I came across a health food shop, and I went kind of crazy and bought vegan bacon, cheese, pepperoni, fish fingers, sausages and three types of prepared tofu. But the best thing was that we found individual Magnum-type choc ices, which was pretty fucking exciting.

In the evening we went to Fiona's for dinner. Mum and Dad were going out to some concert, and while they were out Becca did union stuff + uni work, and I just watched a shitload of TV.

Mum + Dad went out on Thurs afternoon, but me + Becca were going NOWHERE, so we had a perfect do-nothing day. We watched lots of films, smoked lotsa spliffs, walked on the beach, ate lots of junk food..... aaaahh, it was relaxing. Best day of the holiday by far.

On Friday we went into Bangor to go chazza shopping, and I ended up with a whole load more books, vids, DVDs and clothes, including a cool (not cheap) black skull dress (which is really see-through, but hey, I'm a whore so who cares?). After that we went back and packed up a bit before heading out to Heather's in the evening. The conversation ended up being heavily focused on grades, exams, uni and education in general etc,. but hey, what can you expect from a group of parents, one of whom is a lecturer? Sigh. Still, it was great to see them all, and the grub was good.

On Saturday afternoon we headed back down to Dun Laoghaire, but arrived at the port about ten minutes too late, and they'd shut the gates on us. So instead of getting a 6.15 ferry which took 1h 40, we had to drive to Dublin port, and get a 9.15 ferry which took 3h 30. We docked at 12.45, then had to drive all the way across Wales to dump Becca in Birmingham (about 4am), then finally got home at about 5.30am. I was tired. I slept lots.

But it was a good holiday. That said, you could send me to a field with a wooden chair in it and I'd have a good time if Becca was there.

Clothes Swap at Rhiannon's
Normally I'd just give old clothes to charidee, but Rhiannon invited me to this clothes swap melarky on Weds night, so I figured it was a good way to get rid of my crazywackylookatme clothes, and possibly pick up some other people's less fluorescent cast-offs. I ended up with two black + white jumper/shirt combo things, a load of black/black+white vests and t-shirts, a light blue strapless cocktail dress thing, a red Itchy + Scratchy t-shirt and a cool skull belt. And a fair few of my things got picked up, and looked really good on the people who took them (all Rhiannon's school friends who I didn't know, except one girl who was in Hotpopping, and one girl who I recognised from her 18th).

The leftovers are gonna be split between car boot sales and chazza shops.

Tracey's funeral
Tracey died while we in Ireland, and funeral was on Thursday. We sat at the back of the church, looking for people we might recognised from WT school, but the only people we knew were Courtney + Jason. The speeches were really lovely, and summmed up Tracey perfectly. Courtney read a poem she'd written, and I have to give her credit, coz I can't think of many things that would've been harder.

At the reception (is it called a reception after a funeral?) I walked up to Court, and she just screamed "Oh my god!" and threw her arms around me and we had a massive hug; I haven't seen her in something like 7 years. We had a bit of a chat, but she was pretty busy with the 400+ other guests, but a bit later Jason came over to our table and had a long chat with us. Also, it turned out that the woman sitting in front of us in the service actually works in HR at Stoke Mandeville Hospital, and knew Tracey when she lived in WT, so she and Mum chatted for aaaaages.

On the way back we broke our journey in Birmingham and took Becca out for a curry. In the car on the way home, I started having flashbacks of loads of really great memories I have of Courtney. The first I remembered was her first day at WT School in year 3. She decided she wanted to be friends with me coz she liked my Little Bear (from Old Bear) toy. From that day onwards, I would bring in Little Bear and my mini giraffe every day, and the two of us would take one each, put them in a shoe and run around the field pretending they were in aeroplanes.
And then I remembered when we used to play Short Girls With Big Boobs: you pull your coat down over your knees till you're squatting, and you look like a midget with a massive chest. And the only way you can move is to jump or waddle.
I thought about all the times I went over to hers, and we'd ALWAYS ALWAYS play Barbies - she about 12 million, and as a Barbie-deprived child, I went pretty crazy over the chance to play with them. One time we tried to cook pappadums in the microwave by SLATHERING them in oil, then wondered why they were gross and floppy and greasy.
And Court was obsessed with my Sylvanians, so we'd always play with them whenever she came over. She had a pretty vivid imagination, and came up with some interesting plotlines... It was like EastEnders with fur.

I have a shitload more great memories of me + Court, and I'd forgotten most of them until Thursday. So the journey back was nice, coz I just sat there, half-asleep, remembering all the good times.

Work
On Mon 17th I was supposed to be on annual leave, but I got a call on Sun night asking me to work an early, so I did a day’s overtime and had my annual leave shifted to the following day to make time sheets and wotnot easier.

Last week I worked two days, and then on Weds and Thurs had Moving + Handling training days. They were actually really enjoyable, because the trainer was great - the session was really stimulating, and she really knew what she was talking about, having come from a nursing background. Also, unlike the sessions I went on in Feb, rather than just sitting in a large room being lectured, there were only 7 of us, so it was much more involved, and it had a huge practical element. Once she’d got the basics (legal stuff, health statistic, anatomy of the spine etc. etc. etc.) out of the way, the second half of Day 1 and all of Day 2 were spent showing us correct (ie. safe and efficient) techniques for moving patients. And for every single thing she showed us, we ALL had a go at being the patient and the practitioner, so not only did we learn exactly how to carry out the move, but we felt what it was like to be the patient in that position.
But the best thing about all this practical work was that EVERY SINGLE move she showed us, I either use every single shift, or could see how it would be invaluable if I were to implement it into my working habits (whoa, how intelligent did that sound?). So it was a really, really valuable course, and I told the trainer that. Got my official HCA induction days at the end of next month where, having worked on the ward for 5 months, I’ll finally be told how to do my job.

Sez’s 18th
On Sat night I got a lift with Frankie to the (isolated, impossible to find) hall. There weren’t loads of people there, and whilst I knew all of them, only a few were good friends. Plus I was the only non-AHG/AGS person there, which was a bit weird. It was kind of like waking up from a coma and going to a party with people you last saw 2 years ago, and finding it impossible to grasp what they were now like (coz teenagers love to change...) and what they were doing/who they were fucking.
But anyway, it turned out to be a pretty good night, coz I spend most of the beginning with Frankie, and then at about 10, Ruth and Rachel arrived unexpectedly, with Phil in tow. Naturally the rest of the evening was brilliant. And my god, I was so so fucked. By the time I went home I’d had 3 spliffs, a pill and 6 drinks, and was way beyond wasted. Ruth, Rachel and I sat in a little corner room doing puzzles and reading kids’ books. I dared Ruth to come on the church flag, so instead she just er, wiped her fingers on it.
Since I took the pill really late, by the time I went home my wastedness had gone from dopey and heavy headed to really fucking alert and twitchy. So I sat still on my bedroom floor for about an hour, alternating between sending a billion texts to Ruth, Phil and Becca, and just staring at stuff on the floor. I sat and sat and sat. Eventually I semi-snapped out of it and reminded myself that it might be a good idea to get into bed since a) I had to get up the next morning and b) the clocks were changing. After a fag which seemed to last forever, I slowly got myself into bed, and slept.

I wish.

I couldn’t sleep. I woke up every hour at least, slowly watching it get lighter, feeling annoyingly restless. At 6.30 I was so awake that I got up and emailed Ruth and Steffie before going back to bed. I did manage to get about 1 hour’s sleep before I had to get up for good. And after being up for about an hour, the combination of lack of sleep and the volume of chemicals in my system started to kick in.

MFY (Music For Youth)
On Sunday when I got to AMC, I was TIRED. And I got tireder. There were hours of sitting around waiting. My head was constantly drooping, my eyes were drying up and my contacts clouding over, and my legs kept wobbling; I nearly lost my balance several times. And fuck me, my stomach hurt. It was like period pain but higher up, as if it were food poisoning or something. It was so sharp, and I had no idea why it was there and why it wouldn’t fuck off and leave me alone. But somehow, I managed to forget all of that and get into into my ’cello zone’ when I was actually playing, meaning I could make a half-decent job of it and not fuck it up just coz I was so wrecked.

After the whole thing was over, Sarah came home with us and the two of us sat and watched the remainder of Heroes series 1 (eps 16-23). I kept falling asleep on the sofa - sometimes for a few seconds, sometimes for a couple of minutes. Mum had to wake me up and tell me I was dribbling at one point. Nice.
Anyway, Sarah is now up to speed with things, and both of us feel very complete.

5 days til the wedding, and 6 til we go to Ireland! Yay.

Appendix: Ruth told me a great joke at the party: If mothers celebrate Mother’s Day and fathers celebrate Father’s day, do wankers celebrate Palm Sunday?

Work Training Days
In half term I two "Welcome to SMH: Staff Induction" days at work. Boring as hell. It was all important stuff (Data Protection, Infection Control, Pensions, Unions, Child Protection, Protection of Vulnerable Adults, Nutrition Screening etc. etc.), it's just that it was two days worth of having information projected at me through the medium of blue-screened slideshows, accompanied by non-stimulating speakers, and I couldn't help but fall asleep. Literally. I fell asleep twice in the Infection Control presentation, which I was actually trying really hard to pay attention in. Maybe the "Diversity & Equality" lecture would've been a better one to snooze through, but it was earlier in the day. The only really attention-grabbing bit was the Fire Safety lecture, which was actually really fun, coz the guy was great. It was also the last one of the second day.
Anyway, to sum up: They were very useful and important lectures, I learnt a lot of relevant stuff and did feel like I benefited from them. They just weren't much fun. But I did get free lunch.

My Health
I went to see Dr. M last Friday to talk about coming off my meds. After me filling him in on the last few months, he agreed that I was ready, and at the end of this supply I'll stop them. Which is very good news. Drugs, counselling, a new (fulfilling) job and general beneficial life changes (both personal and external) have done me a hell of a lot of good, and I'm in a much, much better "place" than I was last year. As reluctant as I was to resort to meds, I can't deny that they've worked. I'm just glad I'm well enough to stop relying on them. I just need to take care of myself from now on.

In other news, I'm turning into a pensioner: my hip is fucked up. It started off just being a little bit twingy/move-y about-y whenever I walked fast. Now it hurts just to take a few steps, and if I walk long distances it feels like someone is stabbing a knife into my hip, and my knee starts to go as well. So there's definitely something wrong with my left leg. I'm 17; I shouldn't be having unprovoked joint problems. I'm making an appointment some time next week, and hopefully I'll get referred to a physio soon-ish, coz I can't affort to have my walking hindered for any period of time; I walk too much.

Basically I feel like a big fat hypochondriac. As someone who never gets ill properly, having several things all at one time is somewhat alien to me, and I feel ridiculous bringing up all these complaints; even more so in taking them to the doctor.

Music
Last night I played in the 1st round of the soloists' competition. Didn't get thru, but I really don't care, coz I was happy with my performance and am not bothered about winning any prizes.

Still got a recital and two other solos in concerts coming up in the summer; it's actually been really nice working on stuff for them with Hugh and Susan. I like having something concrete to look forward to, and also they both seem really excited about it, which is rubbing off on me and upping my enthusiasm loads.

Also I'm enjoying music more and more and more because I love spending time with Sarah. Ever since I stayed with her last April, our friendship has got stronger and stronger, and she's now one of my favourite people to spend time with. We're so close and always have a brilliant time together, whatever we're doing. She's just a great girl; incredibly genuine, got no pretences or airs & graces, she's not trying to impress anyone. She's just hilarious and generous and unassuming. And now I've got her addicted to Heroes, we have yet another thing to never shut up about. *SMILE*

The Op
No matter how weird this sounds, it was actually a really enjoyable day. I had to be in for 7.30am, but there was loads of waiting around, so I just sat in the waiting room chatting to Mum (who, as an aside, I've been getting on with REALLY well recently - our relationship is fantastic and I really love spending time with her. How things change, eh?), and reading "Daniel Likes Dancing" to her (don't ask... I was bored). Then I went in for a couple of pre-op consultations, during in which Mum found out about my boobilicious piercing (the nurse asked if I was wearing any jewellery, and I said just one piercing which I'd take out, and she asked if it was a belly bar, and I told her what it was, and she just said I could tape it). When we came out she was really calm about it. She just said "that was a bit of a revelation." And then she just asked if I did it myself (HELL NO!) and said - with a smile - that nothing could really shock her any more. I think if she'd found out about it six months ago it would've been a very different story, but the fact that we're on such good terms meant that it just didn't matter.

Anyway, after a bit more sitting, I got changed into my sexy theatre gown/slippers/dressing gown and then went into theatre. I was chatting to the theatre techies while they sorted me out, and it turned out one of them used to work in stroke rehab, so we had a good ol' natter about that. There was a bit of faffing when the anaesthetist tried to canulate me, coz I have great veins when I'm warm, but crap veins when I'm cold. And I was cold. After two botched attempts at getting it in my hand, she went for my inner elbow and got it no problem. That bit was long and painful, but after that I got given a big dose of painkillers, which was LOVELY, like three big fat spliffs all in one go, and then about ten seconds later I was in snoozeland having my nose shoved back into place.

I came to just before 10ish, I think, and was in the recovery lounge, all curled up in the foetal position. They asked me if I was ok, rang Dad to tell him I'd be ready for collection at 11 (and then let me have a word with him), and then I dozed off for a bit longer. They woke me a bit later to get dressed, and then I went into the discharge lounge, got given a lot of free biscuits and read my Texas Preacher comic. When I got home, I just sat around doing fuck all for the rest of the day, alternating between sleeping, watching fillums and having food/drink brought to me. Lush. I should really break my nose more often, coz that was one of the most relaxing days ever.

And I have absolutely zero bruising. Not even a bit of lilac. Which is a little bit disappointing, but then I spose I should just be grateful that I'm fixed and normal-looking. And alive.

Fundraising concert
For the past cupla months Mum + I have been trying to organise a concert to raised funds for the planned AMC extension. After an initial proposed date of 2nd Feb, it got postponed until 15th, due to short notice + lack of acts. But anyway, it finally happened last night. I had a nice range of acts - all of whom I'm eternally grateful to, coz they did a great job, and most of them did more than one thing - and we had a shitload of cakes to sell. I thought we'd raise about £100. We raised £500.30. Needless to say, Hugh and I were both pretty fucking chuffed.

Last Wednesday evening I stepped out into the road, but didn't stay standing for long.

It was my fault - I'd looked both ways, but not thoroughly enough; I was in a rush and had my hood up, so I couldn't see/hear properly. Thankfully the guy was only going at about 20mph. He hit me from the side and I fell onto the bonnet and then slid onto the road, where I stayed for about 30 seconds before deciding I was able to get up and walk to the pavement, where a busload of schoolkids walked past and stared at me. Someone at the Chandos called an ambulance (car) and I was taken into A&E to get checked out.

I didn't sustain any major injuries - my legs were seriously bashed up and purple (and still are), and I broke my nose. However, the most prominent disfigurement was where my tooth went through the inside of my top lip, making it swell up something wicked and look like I'd had some dodgy collagen injections. Other than that, I just had a sore head and really achey legs for a few days - I took some time off work and college to feel sorry for myself, and coz walking was painful.

But all in all I'm fine. I feel very lucky (because he was driving slowly) and stupid (because it was my fault).I'm never wearing a hood to cross the road again. I've got a nose realignement op on Thurs 7th.

Isn't it ironic that I managed to go 17 1/2 years without ever going into hospital even for a check-up, and then when I start working in one, I end up in A&E? Sigh.