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Stephanie



Last Updated: 11/17/2009

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Gender: Female
Age: 18
Sign: Libra

City: Port Clinton
Signup Date: 4/23/2005

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Friday, October 30, 2009 7:46 PM
You do things when I'm not there.

I know this and I don't get upset.

Way to single me out in a situation, a place, a time, that I already feel uncomfortable in.

I can't talk to anyone. I don't even know why I always think this. It's hard to explain it to myself; let alone to you. You wouldn't understand if you tried. I wish you would believe you had the strength I see in you. I wish you believed in something more. I can only show a person so much, I can't change your heart, and I feel like that's all I've been trying to do.
People change, no matter how much of an older person left in someone, they're never the same thing.
Right now, I need someone that feels the same way I do, someone that understands the same things, someone that believes in strength without a crutch, someone that wants to go throughout everyday-alive - - - with nothing making them need something more than life itself. Someone that will love the world that doesn't love them back.


Nothing feels like a home, no one feels safe anymore.
I wish I weren't a last resort friend. I'd like for you not to talk to me if you really hate me as much as you tell everyone else. Please stop taking advantage of me. Just because I have no backbone to tell someone no when they ask me for a favor, doesn't mean that you have to keep pretending you like me. If you don't, it's fine. I won't be too hurt by it. No one is anything special. Everyone is another fucking disappointment waiting to happen.


Why does being young have to make you feel so awkward and lonely?
 
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Thursday, October 08, 2009 2:23 AM
Never angry, never be upset, never let it show.
I hate being disappointed in the person I shouldn't be
___

Don't do something for me, do it for your fucking self.
That's the only thing I've ever wanted to let someone know. Don't change because people want you to. Change something because you want to. Try to better your fucking self because you want to.
If you wanted to, you would actually be trying to.
you only try when I'm around.

I don't want to be a sudden push that is only put on when I'm there.
Because once I leave, your forget about me, and you let out all the things you keep from me.

Forgotten, disappointed, fucking why bother with me
_____

Nothing has changed, I'm still the same kid I was 5 years ago.
I'm fucking behind on so much.
Haven't don't half the things I said I would..... I'm afraid, honestly.
I'm fucking scared to death about so much.
oh well.
___
: ] 14 months? Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhat? haha.


 
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Friday, September 25, 2009 1:27 AM
I've been meaning to let this out.... but we all know, I don't have the balls to say shit. hah.
Don't think you know what this is as soon as you read this. It isn't directed toward anyone....riiighhht.

I honestly never want to look into your fucking bloodshot eyes and believe you're being considerate and that you're the person I've always known.



I know, everyone wants me to change, I can see it in your eyes everytime you ask me too. Even if you're only joking, I can see it. Thanks for being considerate of the only thing I've had for the past five years.
We all have shitty days, we all have shitty lives.



don't smoke, don't drink, don't fuck, at least I can fucking think. I can't keep up, out of step...


I dunno. Everyone knows. But.... sometimes I wonder that I've still stood by this, even though it's everything I've ever wanted to say fuck it to. This is the complete opposite of everything I believe. I've ignored a lot of things.... but sometimes your shit still hurts.
suck it, hah.


I honestly, don't have too much too even complain about without being an asshole.





because at the core of my heart this is something more than ink
something more than ink
on a page, on a shirt, on the back of my hand
it's something written in stone
words we wrote in stone

 
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Saturday, September 12, 2009 3:35 AM

Current mood:  ashamed



I'm not sure what I'm ready for.


 
Come up on different streets, they both were streets of shame
Both dirty, both mean, yes and the dream was just the same
And I dream your dream for you and now your dream is real
How can you look at me
 
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Monday, September 07, 2009 12:58 PM
I guess everything is supposed to go uphill. What if it nothing changes, what if everything is exactly the same, because I'm afraid to say that I wouldn't mind if some things would change. 
I'll only get out as much as I put into this, and lately, it seems like nothing is right.


I think you hide what you really are sometimes, but only from me.

 
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Tuesday, August 25, 2009 2:45 AM
I don't really know what to do about you. I can't say that I hate you and I can't say that I don't want you to be there.
But honestly, you haven't done much, sure, you've done enough to get us by. But just barely. You've never cared about anything I'd like to put my heart into.
You're more harsh than I am and twice as stubborn. You won't look past anything, if you don't like it, it's wrong.
Thank you for looking into my future and wanting to help, the thought is nice. But did you forget the part that I would like to do something that I'd want to do. I don't want to be miserable and just do something because I have to. Just let me do something I want to. I don't need your help, even if you could offer it, you've got little to give. I've never asked much from you.
 
 
 
You've done a lot more than disappoint me, you've let me down too many times. I gave you a little too much hope. You haven't ever taken the chance to make something.
I'm only here because I have to be-
What are you expecting when I can leave and you won't be able to stop me?
 
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Saturday, August 01, 2009 2:52 AM
It's too hard to say.
I'm not positive what to think about.
Sorry.









You used to be so strong, but time has changed you
You turned away
 
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Thursday, July 23, 2009 4:04 PM
don't believe this is about you.








I can't control anything, except myself. I would never try to make you change so that you're everything I've ever imagined.
No one's perfect, and I'd be asking for too much if I'd spill the beans.






I just want to be able to believe I'm okay with things.
This is too heavy.



Just promise me one thing; you'll never, ever lie to me.
 
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