SCARED RECORDS SHOWCASE

anyway, today is better. i know i shouldn't 'attach' (or attack) myself to feelings as they come and go, but 'beck' was just really pissing me off.

it's damp and snowy outside and tonight i'm 'hanging in here', cuz my band post-poned practice till friday before the gig. at which time, too, we may give a listen to the five songs not much has been done to.

'i'm glad to be here with all of you and sober as well by the grace of jesus christ the savior. Thank you for letting me share.'

i'm going to change the music now, cuz coldplay is really irritating as they may not insignificantly sing of nooses, but outer-space seems to be where their attempts to relate go out to. fuck them....robert plant totally fucked up colplay

PONCE & HIGHLAND TWICE TODAY

DIDN'T SAY A WORD AT SECOND

DEMO-ED PIZZA 3 DIFFERENT PLACES

LOCKED IN THE ROOM ME AND THOSE FACES

TONIGHT WAS A YOGA ROOM MEETING

MIRROR AND CURTAIN

LIKE BALLET RECITAL

CHURCH AT NOON  BELLA-HURTIN

I CAN'T GRASP ANYTHING I JUST GO

AND GO AND PEOPLE LOOK AT ME FUNNY

BUT IT'S A DISEASE OF PERCEPTION THEY TELL ME

AND WHAT YOU THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS

AND WHAT YOU SAY MAY HAVE BEARING IN THIS INSTANCE

LIKE FITTING THE HOURGLASS'S IN GRAIN OF SANDS

BILL WILSON'S MYSPACE 'DOESN'T ACCEPT BANDS'

SERIOUSLY

everyone's trying to go home" nelson said, flashing the bubbly wrinkled old polaroid from his duct-taped repaired wallet.

it had him circa 1970 with hnds on his hip entering another circa 1970 african american woman from behind while she was 'going down' on this giant afro-ed 'hoochy mama'. interesting. he said not using doesn't mean you have to stop having fun and this is one of the ways you can keep enjoying yourself.

photography.

I sort of just recently have rediscovered led zepplin, but of course now older and wiser realized that robert plant ruined them and that they shoulda gotten stan satin or david dean or vic chestnut to sing and do a much better job. far more hair on their chests. 

when yer up to your ass in alligators it's tough to remember you were there to drain the swamp. i've had enough of this brain of mine but have this new epiphone-masterbuilt and will turn off the mind a while other than organizing the lyrics i wrote down from memory since i lost my little pieces of paper.

it's underwhelming. things are comng along how they should be coming. i almost came i almost didn't come.

alright, so there i go with my.....business like anger and bloodhounds that kneel. talking to yahoo to try to get gregconnors.com up and running since it is listed as a contact on my internationally acclaimed album 'here there and anymore', produced by joseph arthur. also, my label master, stan, got me in with godaddy.com as was suggested by dave(the abandoned bike-stepdaugher-white teeth-obsessed cranky guy in mont-rose) since it was cheap and things should all be cheap.

i just realized i was hungry and realized i have food and that it was going to be a good time to eat. jen and i ate at solstice this morning and the waitress made fun of me for drinking a large americano. mornings are tough for me. proclivities involved or not. Carson has that bug too. gotta just stay out of our way and let it come easy and naturally or the day is shot to hell. maybe not that all or nothing.

Her birthday was fantastic. she handles stardom very well and said thank you to everyone bearing gifts. she played he, there and any on a boombox in her room while she and her friends from school and church played with the 'littlest pet shop' we got her. it sounded good that way. i want to finish this album so that she can play it for her friends.

watched color me kubrik last night. i could've made such a better movie theme song than ryan adams. i think i'm going to start selling myself as ryan adams. waitresses would just sit americano's in front of me and leave me alone.

yes....well there i sat in the laundry room reading atlanta's free weekly rag about 'THE GANGS' giving the A.P.D. a run for their well-earned money.

i'm sweating a lot after drinking this jamaican yellow twig tea. it's bitter and supposed to be cooling. a tan hipster walked in reaking of booze and says 'hey man' and i say it back cranking head down at the 'CREATIVE LOAFING' not feeling particularly like making eye contact. another guy comes in; pastey-and i give him the once over trying to figure out if he's a junkie or a vegan and he doesn't want to make eye contact either so i'm able to invistigate and come up with the answer:: both.

three in the laundry is too much and i just walk back to our apartment looking at this gigantic t.v. one of jen's clients adorned us with this morning. he's getting a flat-screen and is stepping into the future. i need to watch more t.v. rural PA got the best of me and i'm trying to catch up with things like 'the shins' 'sufrajin stevens', late-night-take-out thai(frm places with names like 'thai me up'), living out of my meansey-greensy, clothes which fit and don't just keep you warm, not being thought of as a 'fag' for not watching nascar or football(here they just think i'm busy) and music snobs.

saw bile aft looking very dapper on a bicycle on n. highland on a way to a noon meeting. i need a brain washing and a liver cleansing and a 'brazilian' in my nostrils.

amber said she'd do P.R. for me and she wasn't drunk or very high. my stepmother is Puerto Rican so i'm not sure i'll need that right now, but of course she is divorcing my dad for some kinda infidelity which didn't require genitalia or another person.

it has been really beautiful here and it often feels like i'm walking in sludge. smelling the coffee, it's often chocolate or lube or very expensive olive oil or popey or brutus or the ides of march or something else pleasant i am trying to understand and not kick against or even think about that often...... no poppey, no pot no booze no pills no chemical brothers. i lived in rural PA for a while; it was warm here and there, but i suffered fools and never even went fishing.

Carson's birthday today and she wants 'Bratz' doll paraphernalia. Bratz dolls look like the metal-head sluts i went to high school with, or i would notice in very tight 'sasson's' waiting on the bus to go to 'tech' for cosmetology or catering company/alcohol management. it made me happy she had delivered a cupcake to her principal. Carson and other little ones don't view them that way. they're just sharp lookin' little gals with a lot of attitude.

if it weren't for drugs and alcohol Carson wouldn't have been created. that was perhaps the most profound thing i've ever heard jo say. no regrets, but i have a new engine now- jamaican twig tea and cosmetology and free me in december and i'll die for you.

you the creation of light from darkness and shoulda lit a candle to change those lightbulbs in the dark but i would've seen that kick in the balls coming and don't i know i know how i am about needles yet?

getting comfortable being comfortable since i expect something else is tough. patience is (often) a fuckyue. "to be or not to be......"

THINGS COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE

I THOUGHT WITH SHAME

MY UNCLE HENRY CALLED IT THE 'CONNORS CURSE'

YOU CAN ALWAYS BLAME A NAME

SO I HOPE THAt HE FEELS BETTER THAN WORSE

GUESS I'LL FEEL USELESS AND AWAKE

AND I NEEDED A CRANE

---

WHEN EVERYTHING'S SEEN AS JUST RIGHT

SOMETHINGS GONNA GO WRONG

THE THINGS I'D CHANGE IF I COULD

like WHEN I DECIDED I WAS TOO FAR GONE

OH, BUT THE TALK OF DEATH HAD BECOME SO USUAL

I KNEW WHO WOULD SHOW UP TO MY FUNERAL

AND IF IT WOULD RAIN

AND I NEEDED A CRANE------------------------------

--------BUT IF I HAD A CRANE; THEN I PROBABLY THEN WANT A SILVER SPOON, BUT NOW, NOW, NOW-A CLUE WOULD DO.

thinking of you

THINKing of you