So do you want to know what is wrong?  It is that i just want to find that girl; that girl that i can take around my friends that girl that will hold my hang that girl that will give me those little kisses where it seems like they dont mean something but they mean the world to me.  I want that girl that will stick with me through thick and thin that girl that will tell me everything is ok when it is just bad that girl that will lay next to me and think she is safe cause i am around but it is accualy me feeling safe cause she is around.  Why can i have that girl?

I got those friends that can just turn thier head and someone is all on them, and guess what i always have to be there for it.  i got those friends that have three or four girls that they can chose from but they will not chose cause they can not make up there mind.  See what is different about them and me is that i will pick, it might hurt someone but i know that i will be making up my mind by my self not by what they can offer. 

i just want to know what the fuck is so wrong with me, what did i ever do?  i know i fucked up with talyah but god damn do i diserve to be alone.

Why cant i just have her?  Hey all the guys that read this you know you want that girl also, and if you dont like what i am saying then whatever dont say anything about it i dont care what you have to say to me cause this is my heart.  And girls that read this i know you feel the same way but you just are looking for a guy.

Ok so i am just dumb and i know so does everyone else i know so no new news.  but i did not think i would screw up one of the best things that would ever happen to me and i screwed up bad.  i told her that i could not deal with the distance and i needed someone that is closer, but the thing is i can deal with the distance for her and i was just not thinking with my heart i was thinking with something lower then that.  i did kiss someone else i dont care how you look at it that is cheating and i dont like that about me and i know she should hate me but she doesnt and that is why i love her.  so i broke up with her and i did not tell her the hole reason and i wish i could have thought my sctions over and i could have done something about it.  i will make up to my girl some day but till then i want her to know that i do love her and i will always be here.

love always

Tony Floyd

So i thought i liked someone but i guess i didn't and i guess they did not like me either so that went to all hell, then i started to like this other girl again then i found out she got back with her x so this is fucked. 

i realy dont think that people like me, i think everyone feels like they have to be nice to me why? i have no idea but that is how i feel.  see i always get ditched or left out to dry all the time and realy dont have true friends anymore or maybe i never did.

why cant i get a good girl?  why cant i be the one happy?  why do the people that dont diserve shit always get everything they fucking want they might not think they got it but they do.  i mean look at those people that cheat on there girl/guy over and over and over again and then the girl/guy will stay with them over all that...or they just go out for one day and find someone else.  i have found one girl and i lost her and never getting someone like that again.

what the fuck is wrong with me there has got to be something but i just dont know, a lot of people tell me that i am not ugly butif i can not get a girl or i just can not get laid there is something wrong with my face.

So one of the girls that I care about so much pretty much just told me to go fuck off, well she told me that she found out she liked this kid named RJ or whatever but said I hope we can still be friends, what I think is how rude.

There are people that always say they are thinking but I call it being stupid or whining about how they hope everything is ok and how they hope there life is going to be alright or how there life sux and she is not happy or he is not happy. Dude if they were not happy with you they would not be with you. And even if they were going to brake up with you would rather just sit there whining or be able to hold her for the last time.

See with me I did get to hold Chelsea one last time so I dont regret it, but I do regret just sitting there and letting Alex just slip away, I do regret thinking that Lauren is not happy with me and not getting to hold her and tell her I loved her one more time. Would I go back with her? No not right now. But I would give up anything to be with Alex or Chelsea again.

What I am trying to say is dont be afraid of what will happy or might happy take everything as it will not be there tomorrow and show everyone with it or that person means to you.

I Love You All,

Tony Floyd

Life is not the best

I love life it is great well at times. There is nothing big wrong with my life I just fucked up really bad on something and now I am paying. See as yall know I took Michelle to prom and it was on of the funniest nights I have ever had, but part of it I was wishing I was with someone else. See yall probably know that I broke it of wit Lauren to go with her and I dont think I should have done that. See what I did not see before I love Lauren and I guess it took losing her for a bit to find it out. I wish I was with her at prom for two reasons, one I dont want to live with out her and I felt really bad about being with Michelle and thinking about Lauren. Dont get me wrong I think Michelle is one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met but she is to independent for me I love to be around my girl all the time and I want then to want me as much as I want them and to show t also. I just want someone that will hold me as I would hold them and kiss me with the loving touch that I would be giving them. Why can't I ever find someone like that? It just is not fare I fucking hate it. I want someone that I can grow old with, someone when we get older to go play on the same softball team as me. I want someone that wants to have kids a big yard with horses and a great life to look forward to when we get old and gray. Someone that will never let me go. I hope I can make it alright with Lauren or maybe she is not the one for me just let her tell me what she wants in life so I can look forward to her being there or not, see I can change somethings like moving or smoking and drinking but I cant change what I want my life to be like. I just want a sign to say I will find her soon or I already did and tell me that she has been in my life for a while. I love you all, Tony Floyd

hey so i think it is funny that people like someone else and they cant do anything about it cause the whole best friend card.  And then she knows that he likes her and then thinks it will still go somewhere why would you lie to yourself like that?  now that they have broken up or whatever they have done she has to complain to every one else and plus try get someone in bad with there parents cause they lied so they could go do something and it is not like she or who ever have never lie to go see someone.

ooo and then the whole thing with this lieing to the person that you are with is really fucked up.  no i did not like it when arron cheated on court but it was not my life what was i supposed to do about it?  ya i have cheated on one person and it sucked cause i hurt the person and yes i have lie to a girl friend and the only one i know i lied to was chelsea and i just told her that i stopped smoking and i was trying but i did not stop all the way.  If you dont think i am a good person there is something wrong about you cause if you are my friend then i have helped you out in anyway that i  could have.  yes what i did to the bear that ash gave was very childish but i dont do that shit anymore so get over it.  but what everyone else is pulling is just a bunch of bull but i am very glad that i am not in the middle of the bull shit and if you try to put me there, there will be hell to pay.

So i was thinking about people and how they suck don't worrie everyone even me.  It is great that if someone gets someone that they really like someone else has to like them too, but the good thing is this time that guy is not going to give up this girl cause she is awsome, he found a good one and so did she.  no on with it people always complaining about not getting laid it is so stupid go find a fucking slut or prostitute, get over it cause it is just dumb.  ya people call me stupid for staying with ash and sometime i agree but i would not change anything that happened cause life happens fast and it hurts, god never said that life was going to be easy all the way through he said there was going to be hard times and bad time.  i just think of it this way she just lost the best thing she ever had and some people will say that i am arogant but you know that i am not and that i am one of the most curtious people in the world.  now talking about being self centered i know a lot of them and i hang out with a lot of them and ya it is fine cause i will never be that way and if it gets them some where then right on but lhalf the time you will not get anywhere.  there is one person in my life that i believe that i can turn to when shit hits the fan, and i hope it stays that way. 

love always,

tony floyd

Ps.  love his life will he is here not after he has parished