after drivin some golf balls at the range (tryin to get my mind off shit)i get into the truck crank the car and look up and see how beautifull it really is out here with the sun hiding behind the clouds but still blindingly bright and the wind blows a deep cool breeze that feels so great and look at the little pond by the driving range and see the grass leaning with the wind and ripples on the water as the wind makes little baby waves wich is so peaceful u wouldnt believe b4 i took a look up after crankin the truck i was sad because i feel alone then i realized maybe i need to be alone maybe being seperated isnt as bad as i feel maybe there are more 2 life than worryin bout my wife or soon to be x maybe i need to get out there and make the best of my life u know be like the wind and be free never being ever to be contained never hurt always bein in the right spot at the right time i could enjoy life alot more if i could actually live like this so from here on thats what i am goin to do im goin to live life a real life not the life that i thought that i had to had im going to be free like the wind and experience everything i can before i die i aint gonna be contained again cause i wasnt like the wind before i let people hurt me and break me but not anymore i am done bein tossed aside for anything or anyone im done living my life to someone elses standard im gonna live to mine and do what ever makes me happy no matter what it is and worry bout my feelings im not sasyin i will never love again but if i find love it wont be because i was forcing it or tryin to find it it will be because it was meant to be because i was supposed to because it was that 1 special somebody that always made me feel good that i could alwats talk to that i can trust im done thinkin about what my soon 2 be x wife is doin im done worrin bout how she could do what she did to me i will let her say what she wants but the truth is i dont care !!!!her family can hate me and they can say what they wanna say boput me but i was always there 4 her and always loved her she was the one that lied,cheated,and broke what ithought was every piece of my heart at the time untill today thats when i seen what i had stored knowing that it would eventually need to be used and its time that i broke it out and started feelin everything that there is imn life to feel experincing everything there is to expierience and living as full of a life and happy of a life untill i die i do hope that 1 day i will meet the 1 that is supposed to be with me but im not looking im waitin for it to happen im not makin it happen not to be hurt or broken again so untill that day i will smile more love my family more hang out with people that i wanna hang out with and enjoy being alive cause ive tried to take my life overe other woman before but now i realize they truly arent worth it and those women will get whatever they dished out back i know it i hope that they feel the hurt i felt all them times but i dont wish for it but it WILL HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!SO only thing left to say is im like the wind and am bout to fly away! peace!!!!!!!!!