A couple of weeks ago I was in Donegal on the west coast of Ireland with my partner and daughter for a bit of a holiday.  We visited a place called Maghera caves just west of a town called Ardara. While we were getting ready to leave the caves and continue our journey to Rossnowlagh for a swim, I got into a conversation with a local man (he actually ran the car park) about the history of the caves... beautiful tidal access caves, that you have to walk a mile or two over glorious sandy landscapes that can only be described as ‘lunar’, to get to – also you can only see them properly when the tide is out. 

Anyway... enough ‘scene setting’... The car park man and I were deep in conversation regarding the history of the caves and he was telling me of a massacre of people hiding (probably living off the abundant waters) in those very caves by English soldiers sometime in the 12 Century. I mentioned a song that I had written about people throughout Ireland’s history having to ‘hide in the night’... I told him how the song’s theme stretched way back to his story and right forward to the intimidation of Romanian Nationals in Belfast recently.  And we discussed soutterains and caves and early Christian raths, drop-bars, round towers, bawns etc.

There were some women there too and we got talking... invariably... there were two sisters and their mother... who was 82.... it turns out they were a musical family, the girls all sang and played music together. One of the women regarded my hair and said she really liked it... at which point I felt the need to explain that I just ran it under a tap and shook my head every morning and that was that.  I then felt the need to explain why I grew it... Ie: I stopped working the 9-5 so that I could concentrate on playing and writing music. So therefore I didn’t have to be clean shaven, wear a suit and a noose and keep my hair short... and anyway... I like my hair like this!!

As I got up to leave the ladies were leaving too and the same woman who commented on my hair said “You’ve just had a shift in your paradigm”... now....??? at this point I said “sorry, what did you just say???” I was totally dumbstruck as the incredible truth enveloped me.  She repeated the statement and added... “it’s for your soul.. you need to look after  your soul don’t you?.” I may have slightly paraphrased that last little bit but it’s as close as I remember it.  Well, Mairhi and Banbha were waiting in the car so I said my goodbyes... I offered a couple of my Myspace cards and told them that they could hear ‘Hide in the night’ on my page if they wanted. So that was that.

Later we left Rossnowlagh after our swim and headed back to the house we were staying at in Bundoran... I then parked myself in the porch with a couple of candles and my favourite pipe... and of course my guitar (I always take it on hols).  I was strumming on something for a while and then all of a sudden... Splat!!! A song from nowhere (at least I thought that until I got to the middle and realised exactly where it had come from) I was in the middle of writing ‘A shift in my paradigm’.  I was feeling the waves of Rossnowlagh pushing me on the body board, I could feel that I was travelling towards a new destination at an incredible speed and that my axis had totally shifted and things were definitely going to change – for the better.  This was how I wanted to live from now on... assisted by the waves and the wind, writing music for my soul and for the souls of others.  I couldn’t wait to get the song jotted as I had no recording gear with me... except my phone which is crap and, statistically, if the idea had went on the phone it would have stayed there – haha.  So as soon as I got home I recorded it on my laptop and breathed a sigh of relief as I caught the ethos of what I felt as I was writing.

Well... you’d think that was it. Not so... 

I was playing at the Kilbroney Bar in Rostrevor on Monday lunchtime as part of the Fiddlers Green Festival, sharing a one hour slot with a lovely lady called Loretta Phillips.  I had played here last year and was quietly confident in my ability to ‘engage’ a superbly behaved ‘listening audience’ – the venue holds about 45-60 people comfortably – and it was well packed.  I played all original songs and was even able to have the space to tell the stories behind them... a real treat for any songwriter.  I decided that my new song was ready to do as my final number... so I told the story... all eyes were on me and everyone was hanging on my every word as I told them about leaving work and seeking a life less ordinary etc and about my meeting at Maghera Caves with this woman who inspired me to write the following song... and as I introduced it as “No title yet”... they laughed.

When I had finished there was a warm applause the like of which I hadn’t heard in a few years... since my days with the Bush Turkeys in a packed Errigle Inn in Belfast... I was tickled alright.  So I left the stage area and sat down with my daughter Banbha for a few mins... then Loretta P{hillips asked me if she could borrow my music stand “Yeah sure” I said handing it to her... and as I did, a hand touched my shoulder... and so I looked round to see this woman who said “I’m glad I inspired you to write that song”  WOW!!! It was her... I couldn’t believe it!  “My mother and sister are over there” she added, pointing across the room.  I was slightly gobsmacked and said so... she then said “ I told you I was going to come along to this gig”  I didn’t remember that bit.  She then told me the most wonderful thing... and I must at this stage refer you all to my poem ‘Ode to the lost ones’ (I have posted it just below this) Referring to the ‘shift in my paradigm’ statement at Maghera She said...” I wasn’t telling you something... I was channelling it to you – do you know what channelling is?”  I told her I thought I did alright.  The message was from someone/somewhere else and it seems maybe wasn’t a suggestion... but more a statement of fact!  So that night I went home and got Audacity (recording software) onto my laptop and made a rough but sweet multi-track recording of the song and popped it up onto the myspace player.

An interesting turn of events!

And i still don't know who this woman is... i'd like to stay in touch there i reckon!... and I hope she gets to read 'Ode to the lost ones' (below)

Ode to the lost ones - Ludwig O'Neill 2008

All the ghosts surround me now

Those gone while I remain

You’re all in my thoughts… I promise

til I meet with you again

My heart is with your spirit

As astral winds they blow

Our merging dreams and visions

Until I too must go

I feel you in my days and nights

When I am lifted high

Above the dangers of this world

As guardians you’re close by

I work the daunting inspiration

bestowed as falling stars

your whispering translations

fill the empty hours

I know you watch the things I do

I’ll never let you down

You made me who I am today

Singer, poet, clown.

My deepest fear you swift dispel

My dearest loved old friends

We’ll meet again, I know we will

The circle never ends.

 

I AM ONLY A SPIDER - Ludwig O'Neill ©2009



I spun a web

for all to see

and glistened it with frost

without cold morns

such as these

my craft it would be lost.

There wouldn’t be
an intricate

Pattern for your eyes

An engineered

microcosmic

catcher for your flies

You have a hatred

Blind for me

Loathing how I move

I’d like to see

You work 8 legs

And make it look so smooth

I don’t drop on you

from the ceiling

to feed upon your fear

I merely fell

And must dispel

I’ll not crawl in your ear

Imagine how

It is when I

so tiny as can be

feel so much more

afraid of you

Than you’ll ever be of me

Stalker!                                                                                               

Ludwig O’Neill© 2009

I must stop stalking myself, I’ve been hanging around here a little too much

Checking out all the photos on my page, nearly almost close enough to touch

I even walked up my street every day last week, hoping to catch a glimpse...

...  of me in one of my more ‘candid’ moments, like at the zoo, observing chimps!.

I tried monitoring from afar, in the shadows.... down the street in the car.

It sends a chill down my spine when my own eyes pierce me from behind.

So I sometimes sit with the lights out while I watch from below, wondering if I am home.

I go to all of my gigs... the studio sessions I gatecrash too... just to feel everything I do.

I really must get a grip on this... my affliction, demeanour... this precipice!

Treading such a thin, ragged line is a weary drudge most of the time

‘Wierded-out’ by my constant presence... I should ‘let go’ learn one of my own lessons.

But a Gemini through and through... of me, there’ll always be the two!

When i looked at this kids face tonight... i thought... jeesus christ!!...

this could be my lovely wee musician friends Matt ,  Ritchie, Benson,... Andy Train...or any of the other well 'sussed' kids from my  neighbourhood. (it's not all bad in North Belfast)

The Greek Police have a well documented history of being 'heavy-handed'... couple that with the recent tension regarding immigration (drug gangs battling it out with machettes and knives on the city streets)... recently!!

Then there is a government who are only ruling with a parliamentary majority of 1... who are now being asked by the people of Greece to stand down and call fresh elections.

We in Belfast know only too well how all things political and governmental can stifle the creativity of a nation of potential 'incredibles' for a handfull of oppression!!

Rest in peace Alexandros Grigoropoulos - cut down so young!

The end of an era?

This week sees the end of the Sunday Acoustic Sessions – for the foreseeable future.

This is not a decision I take lightly.  There has been much soul-searching and many self-arguments over the course of action I should take.  I will still remain as heavily involved in the local songwriter scene and the music scene in general… I'm not going away… merely clearing the decks in order to move my own career forward to the heights it deserves and to assist some of my friends in that same cause.

I know a few of you will be saddened by this development and there are probably others who will be gloating at what they see as the 'demise' of our weekly get-together.- However, I have a long list of contacts in this business built up over the last 20 odd years, most of whom I can trust and have enjoyed working both with and for… I intend to stay hooked up with all of you and them, in ways that can enhance all of our networks.

I will still be active on the local songwriter scene too… indeed more than ever - You can expect to see me at a few of the open mic nights and some more high profile events as things progress into next year and beyond.

The reasons for this situation are many – they range from the venue being suitable in some ways but not in others, lack of interest from those who should have been developing the event with me – who had expressed such enthusiasm at the start… yet never had the longevity that the task obviously required.

I don't want to be a promoter… or a mentor (at least not for people who don't give a damn about where they are going) I have realised that now… and have also come to the conclusion that most of you are able to find your own way.

I saved the Rotterdam too… at least in a lot of peoples hearts…(although there have been others who have tried to claim that handle lately – I'm the only one who can prove my actions) but sadly it will now eventually become another casualty of our greed-ridden society as soon as market forces dictate its demise!! Then when it all went 'belly-up' for Chris and Nigel, and eventually myself at the Rott I felt 'duty-bound' to find (us all) a new venue in which to continue our musical, sometimes experimental, activities on Sunday nights.

I know a lot of you did help out… and there was a lot of hope about the event in July this year when we were switching venues… But even with all the people heaping praises for the Sunday sessions and how the sound was always fantastic and how there was always a superb vibe (a tribute to us all – venue, punters, performers alike) something just wasn't working out right!

Sadly the numbers just kept dwindling… Was it the price of the beer? Maybe it was because White's didn't let us have a lock-in (understandably so) that we could invite all the late arrivals who used to weigh in at around 11:30-1:00 after their own gigs in Belfast when we were in the Rott. Was it maybe just that it had run its course (I personally don't think that)

Or is it the old adage… USE IT OR LOSE IT!

Not enough of you used it regularly enough… my phone bills were scandalous - sending out txt messages to people every week… I just got another for £50 for last month. But those txts didn't make people come.

So I have to walk away from it now… and part of me is rejoicing in that while part of me is saddened.

And when I add it all up…I have an ep to promote – an album to record  (coz the new songs are so good and I need to get them recorded NOW) And I have a career of my own to pursue vigorously in the coming weeks, months and years!

To all the people who enjoyed playing those gigs… I will continue to 'arrange' some events… and interestingly enough… there are a lot of other venues around Belfast and beyond… White's haven't ruled out further events when the financial climate is a little more favourable.  I will not be sitting still!  

This tale is about putting your money where your mouth is… about supporting a platform for musicians who can't get their foot in the door of the closed shop 'cliques' that pervade our local 'scene' – ego central!  All because they didn't have a bedroom to practise in or daddy buying a guitar for them when they were 12, or they started late in life, or maybe went to the wrong college… or worse, didn't go to college at all… but I'll tell you from a lifetime of solid experience in this business, those musicians are as credible if not more so than most of the alleged competition out there! (I only ever refused one person a slot on the Sunday session and that episode is well documented and the person knows who he is and why I refused him!)

I will still be here… as accessible to you all as always… within reason of course.

And if you were booked to play one of those Sunday nights then I apologise for the inconvenience my decision causes you.

But remember… I don't suffer fools – I don't work with w*nkers - I don't do bullshit.  I also don't veneer over stuff with clever slogans or fancy ideas… I tell it like it is!

Thank you for reading if you made it this far without spitting!

Ludwig O'Neill

I look around me and I see

A lot of people taking a free ride at our expense

That's weird...

It's like they don't think we'll know

Throw them a few quid there!

See that wee girl with the pram

Her child has an inalienable right

To be the Mayor

tell the child the story

About Dick Whittington

Is it just me or is it you too

Can you see what comes next?

A loaded die

The arming of the peasantry

Pikes against cannons again

Where are the wardens who control

The dogs and drugs and late night

Rock and roll

They call their own – white powder-nosed scum - pissing in the steet

And they couldn't write a verse to save their sorry souls

Put them all together now

From Hong Kong, Barcelona and Krakov

From the moon

The fucking scumbags let them wrestle

Each other for the dregs… damn them to their hell!

Ludwig O'Neill - Copyright 2008