Our 7" single has arrived this morning...and just in time for our party on saturday night!
You can listen to the songs on our player.
E-mail us if you want a copy, and we can do a deal. There limited, and the first editions have been snapped up already!

umbrellaassassins@myspace.com


Video to follow soon!

Good times

 'Hello Sadie' I said as the door sucked open and creaked as the month old paint lost its tac one my time. Sadie left the door on the chain and her face appeared from the darkness.
 'Who's that?'
 'Oh you don't know me yet Sadie, Im Billy, Jack sent me.'
 'Jack?'
 'Yes Jack'
 'How?....Jacks not here anymore, never has been here, how do you know about Jack?
The turquoise light of the T.V. flickered on the hall way wall and turned Sadies face the same shade.
I was dressed all in black to match the night, just incase I had to dissapear into a shadow.
Something had driven me here to Sadies flat on the north side of town. The last thing I remembered was laying on my bed just about to listen to the Aliens through head phones like I'd been told to do in my dream. 
As I looked at my reflection in the far window of the hall way I saw spotted lines of mud up my jeans and a damp arch on the backs of my ankles where the material had sucked up the dirty rain water from the walkways. I watched the rain spitting onto the glass. My jumper was soaked through and my hair had fallen flat against my forehead. The blocks of flats were run down, mid-seventies design and council owned. The hallway smelt of stale piss and paint fumes either from the graffiti or from the line of bottle green doors that the workmen had painted to "cheer the place up". Some with welcome mats, some without. The second door from the end, which was infront of the lift had a square, hammer headed shape punched through the first skin of wood, under the spy hole and the splinters of painted wood had been swept into the corner and under the fire extinguisher. 
I don't know how I knew Sadie lived at 25a, but in a strange way I knew why I was there, just couldn't put my finger on it. A single strip light lit the far end of the hall way. Standing at Sadies door the was no light apart from that of the television screen, now orange, seeping out from around the door frame like a glowing treasure chest. I felt for a moment like I knew this face that peered from the dark and turned to grey, then flushed with red as the screen flicked to a advert. I couldn't hear exactly what show she had been listening to, the volume was down, it hummed away in the background, exploding with canned laughter every couple of minutes. Her facial expression hadn't changed, only the colours on her face. In this light she had dark holes for eye's, I could see her hair was dirty and greasy but she could have been good looking on a different night but only in a slutty kinda way, if she'd taken the time to sort her hair and make-up. I could feel her mind trying to work out my face. The light on her face changed to green as Sadie spoke.
 'How do you know my name?'
 'Jack told me about you Sadie, he told me that loves you.' I didn't know why I said that and her face slid into confusion.
 'What!' Sadie barked.
 'Jacks dead, I don't know who you are or what you want, but please go away, Im not in the mood, not at all.'
 'But Sadie.....'
My wet boot soles squeeked on the lino floor tiles. I stuck the toe of my boot in the door as Sadie tried to shut it, and slammed in with my shoulder. The chain snapped like a cheap necklace. I lept towards her, and muffled her scream half way through. I pressed my knife to her throat.
 'Now Sadie lets have a chat shall we?'
Tears began to well up on the bottom lid of her eye, she struggled for a moment but as I pushed her to the living room and sat her on the sofa it was clear to me that she was drunk.

 'Sit down there Sadie and I'll fix you another drink.'
 'I don't want anymore to drink, I want you to leave.' she had been reduced to a whimper like she'd already given up the fight.
 'No, not until Jack has had a chance to speak to you.'
 'Jacks fucking dead you idiot!' she changed her mood to angry again, just as the light on the t.v. changed.
 'Now,now Sadie, lets not get upset. You wouldn't want Jack to see you like this would you?'
 'Look, I don't know what you want from me, or why you keep talkin' about Jack, but I'd like you to leave.'
The dam gave and a tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped the tear away with the cuff of her dressing gown, sniffing and reaching for the drink already by her feet all in one movement. Suddenly she seemed strangely calm and for a moment as I stood infront of her I felt like turning around and walking straight back out the door that I busted in through. I gripped my knife tightly and Sadies head turned as she watched my fingers re-arrange on the warm handle. Then she looked up at my face and froze on my features.

 'I know you now' she said with a new found confidence.
 'Your Saffrons little brother aren't you?.....I knew I'd seen you before. Billy?, thats it, Billy. I remember you now from Saffrons 16th birthday party: you were a strange one then aswell, always lookin' at me.'  I looked at her face more closely.
She sipped from the glass in her hand and I shuffled my muddy boots on the carpet.

 'Well look at you now, Billy Boy's all grown up.'
I felt like I was the one being attacked.
 'So what do you want then Billy?' The way she used my name made me feel very un-easy.
 'How about these?...' Sadie pulled the neck of her t-shirt down to show her cleavage. I shook my head slowly.
 'No?!....well you could never take your eye's off them!....unless you want me to scream again or phone the police you'd be getting out of here Billy boy.'
 'I'll hurt you if you do' I said.
 'You couldn't hurt me, Im passed being hurt.'
I wasn't sure what to do next, to be honest I was as confused as Sadie and probably more scared than she was, now she'd remembered who I was.
I remembered her now aswell, the tit flash helped jog my memory but it was her voice that really clicked.
I'd lost control but as we looked at each other with the T.V. splashing shadows against the walls and ceilling, a million different colours flashing out around the room. 
The feeling of power started to return and I gripped my knife tight again. I dived forward at Sadie and planted my hand firmly over her mouth, straddled her and pinned her head to the cushion with my knife at her neck. The blade pushed in but didn't pierce her soft skin. 
 'I was sent here by Jack and Im not a little boy anymore.' I whispered in her ear, breathing in her fear and pressing the knife until it cut in just a tiny bit. This time her was face wet with tears and they gathered around my hand as I clamped her mouth shut. A droplet of blood trickled from the small slice on her neck and she puffed with pain into my palm. 
 'LET ME GO!' 
She mumbled through the gaps in my fingers and I felt her hot breath blow through them.
I gripped her face and with the whole of my hand held her head tight against the cushion. Using the tip of my bloody knife I traced the outline of her nipple through her t-shirt.
 'I remember you to Sadie.' I whispered in her ear again.
She fought against me again, found some last strength. She pushed me and I rocked back on my knees and I fell backwards to the floor, my feet unable to get to the ground in time from being curled up around her. Blood smeared down my fore-arm as we gappled n the floor. Sadie jumped to her feet and ran for the door, losing her stained gown that I'd grabbed a handful of on the way. I scrambled to my feet and ran after her. As I got to the doorway I saw sadie climbing the stair well railings and before I could move another step she threw herself from the railing. I saw her disappear below the level I was standing on. The next thing I heard, after the most horrendous scream, was the thud of her body against concrete like the whack of a spade on wet mud. I paused for a second and then thought about looking over the edge to see if she was still alive. Anyone who fell from that height wouldn't have lived to see another day and I was already messed up enough, it seems, not to want to imprint that vision onto my mind. I turned and ran from the flats, running past Sadies body which without even looking I knew was limp and twisted into an unnatural position. Deep red clotted blood flowing from the wound on her neck, her eye's stuck open with fear, her face spotted with rain and pale as the moon she fell under. The wind pulling at her t-shirt and shorts.
I flew out of the stairwell without looking back and ran into the darkness of the night. Puddles splashing round my legs and the rain hitting me full in the face, mixing with my tears. What had happened to me?....I'd just killed a innocent girl, I pushed her to the edge and dug up a reason for her to jump and the strange thing was; deep inside I didn't feel bad, just a wicked rush, a mix of adrenaline and the fear of being caught. I felt like I'd done what it was I was here for and ran the whole way back across town towards home.


 

 
'Apathy is our worst enemy' he said.
Maybe Im so cynical that Im riddled? I said.
He didn't hear me,
Im not surprised, I hadn't spoke at all.
Sentences seemed pointless, which was fine with me.
Then it hit me like the first pull.
Truth is hard to find when so many lies buzz like fly's.
I'd been running from the truth, scared it would make me old, drunk and cynical. Now Im one of those and many things besides, the others just take time.
Your word is all you have to keep,

He was 26 and two months away from 27.

 'you know you gotta die soon?'
 'yeah I know' Jack said,  half joking.
 'God this town is shit!'
Jack nodded. It felt like that scene from Fear and Loathing, you know the one?.... with the reptiles. It would probably get as fucked up, in like errrr.... 20minutes time, and it did.
 
On any normal night Jack would never even entertain the idea of suicide, and he knew it was a joke. Anyway, he still had a point to prove and he was going to take his precious time about it. 
The night dragged on and the disc jocky played another generic dance track, Jack knew this one. A younger guy had  the album at work. He mimed along and did a pissing taking head movement. Andrew was sitting opposite him and seeing Jack, also did a funny piss taking dance,while still sitting in his chair, like a swimmer in distress. Jack knew Andrew understood. Jack didn't really listen to a lot of music any more and what he did listen to was as far away from the shit they played in here as possible.
Things were shimmery but it had taken Jack a while to notice, he's eyes were watery all the time. They laughed at the people dancing and falling over, it was normaly them doing the falling over. Mandy never really showed up.
 
 'The Browner it is, the stronger it is!'
 
Fucking hell thought Jack, I'd better go careful here, its like a fucking crushed OXO cube. Half hour and a couple of increases in heart beat later, nothing! Maybe I should have some more thought Jack, nah... not in this foul mood! Maybe I'll get drunk? he pushed his hand into his pocket and felt some fluff, his key's and a guitar pick. Fuck it, no I won't!

Now friends you might be thinking why is Jack in this bar? If he hates it that much, go elsewhere?!, well the truth is- after eleven in a town like this you've got three options,  the bar Jack was in, another not quite as run down bar at the other end of town with slighty better looking women, which Jack had nick-named the "facebook bar" because they handed out camera's and if you had a 10 pint face like Jack,  you'd know why he didn't go in there, or choice number three- home, which lately was Jacks first choice, but tonight his curious side got the better of him.

Jack got up and left, he walked out onto the main street and past the old carpet shop that he'd watched burn down about five years ago. No one had fixed it up yet. Jack liked it like that, it reminded him of the first time him and Andrew took shrooms, back when they were legal. He walked up the alley where everyone puked. True to form he dodged a pile of sick and then dodged another, Jesus people are getting wasted tonight, he thought. Now he was out in the open, it was a warm night for march. As he walked ascross the empty carpark, he realised he'd stopped dead and was looking up at the dark cloudy sky, not on purpose, he was thinking so hard he'd forget to move his feet.
 'Stop that!'
Jack said to himself, if you get seen doing that people will think your mental! Jack walked the short way home and didn't see a single person.

 
I wish I lived in Texas, but I don't!

Saturday past pretty quickly, Jack went shopping out of town, he drove. All he could think was that the shopping centre looked like Lego Land or something, it was so plastic and how only the shitty clothes they couldn't sell were the cheapest.
Sunday morning came just as quick. Jack felt shit, but not a hungover shit. It was sunny for a while. Jack had poached eggs for breakfast and sat on his door step.

On monday morning he woke up on time for once, as he left the house he felt ok, but as he hit the estate he began to notice the rubbish, so much rubbish. It wasn't this bad when I was younger, he thought. Jack maneuvered around the dog shit and glanced at the shitty nappy.
 'God thats sick!....is there normaly this much rubbish?'
He came to the last alley before he got to the factory where he worked.
 'Here we go again'
Jack mumbled and puffed out a half laugh to himself. A brand new bright aluminumum fence lined one side of the alley, the kind of fence you wouldn't dare climb infear of your nut sack or worse, your life! It was topped with a string of barbed wire. Behind it was the "smelly factory", they paid good money if you worked shifts. Fuck that, Jack had done shifts before at the toothbrush factory, he said it turned you into a zombie. Anyway there was stuff in there that gave you cancer!
On the other side of the alley was a green fence, the kind that lined tennis courts, but this fence was full of holes and leaned badly, it wasn't going to stop anyone from entering. Jack put one leg through the first hole he came to then the other leg, he jumped down off the small wall and walked along the shingle path way. The fence surrounded the factory Jack worked at. He went through that hole everyday, it was quicker than walking round to the front entrance and even though he'd got up on time he'd been walking slow and was running late. Plus he could sneak in the back this way. Jack was sure the hole was getting bigger but it had nothing to do with him, it must be the skip-rats that would come and sniff around at night. God knows why, Jacks factory never threw anything out that was of any use to anyone. Maybe they just came to smoke weed?, but Jack never saw any evidence of that. 
He didn't mind work,
 'It was what you did out of work that counted, work is just a way of funding what you do out of work.'
He liked saying that, it made him feel like what he did out of work was important and that having a shitty job wasn't a problem for him.  He'd always been a worker, he got that from his father......

Jack's a weirdo!

Its a quarter past four in the morning, not that Andrew would know. He's walking home, Jack left him in the bar at around 1 o'clock, without saying goodbye. Andrew remembers this and everything before but not a lot after. 
 'Fucking weirdo' he mutters to himself. He's blind, steaming drunk but he wouldn't mind another drink. It'll take him an hour to stagger the twenty minute walk but this is as fast as a drunk man can go without risk of injury. He finally gets out of the main street and notices the frost but not the cold. Diamond dust has covered everything and all the moisture has been frozen out of the air, rare for March.
He walks in the middle of the road crushing the ice crystals that shine amber under the street lights, he dosen't do his buttons up on his leather, he's on a mission, on autopilot. He's had a good night, after Jack left he'd ended up at the far end of town with a group of girls, good looking girls. He got one of their numbers, Saffron. 'Fucking hell!' he could remember her name, he smiles as he enters the underpass, then his smile drops away as he walks out in to the town park. 'Hope I wasn't to drunk?!' He doesn't notice the birds singing or his shivering, he's thinking about Saffron's boots.
He finds himself sat on a bench, eyes closed, head tilted back, he lets out a huge sigh and cloud of cold air leaves his mouth. His body automaticaly tells him he can't sleep here, he stumbles to his feet and carry's on with his mission. He's home and before long he's negotiated his way around the kitchen and cooked himself a canned chicken curry, little mess, no rice. He eats on the sofa in silence. He notices the warmth of the curry in his stomach and the ache of the cold in his toes. He's sobbering up now and feels for the crumpled cigarette that he'd rolled before he left the bar, as he does so he feels his phone vibrate.
 'Where's my fucking lighter?'
He pats himself down and finds his zippo in the front pocket of his leather. As he lights up he checks his phone, a message from Saffron 'Shit.... I gave her my number, what if she's a fruit-loop?'
 'Hi, see you again soon? love Saff  xxx'
Begining to text a reply, he remembers it must be late, looking up at the clock above the fire place, it is late, or is it early?... a quarter to six. 'I'd better hit the sack.' At the weekend he'd normaly stay awake until after the sun came up, but him and Paul had stuff to do tomorrow.

Saturday night is girly night!

 'Are you out tonight?..... you wanna come round and get ready at mine?'
Saffron was a very pretty girl, and she knew it. Long dark brown hair, nice nails, good legs and she'd say- "a fucking good dress sense" although her mother would say a tarts dress sense. She was on the phone to her friend Sadie. Saffron went out every saturday night and most fridays as well. She thought of herself as a party girl, of coarse she wasn't, she lived in the same shitty town as Andrew and went to the same bar week in week out. Unless she visited her aunt in London but she didn't go out down there, she'd had to sit in with her family and act like she cared, while they smoked fag after fag and had cold meats and mash for tea before settling down to watch Dancing on Ice. She and her friends knew all the guy's in town, well most of them.

 'I met this guy last night... yeah... I text him... well I thought he was but...I saw him on facebook and he doesn't look like he did last night!'
 'That'll be the sambuca, Saffron!' Sadie and Saffron laughed together on the phone.
 'ok, see you in twenty?'
 'yep!'
Saffron is wrapped in three towls, and she is putting her face on in front of the mirror. She stops and checks her lippy and smacks herself a kiss in the mirror, smiles and goes to the bath room. She has an en-suite, her father is a accountant in the city. She goes to her bathroom cabinet and removes a small pill box, it was her nans. Saffron took it from her house when she passed away. In the pill box is about half a gram of coke, enough for four maybe five lines, she'd done the other half the night before.
 'Thank fuck for that, I've got some left!'
She only had fifthteen pound and a bit of change for tonight. Saffron couldn't remember getting home last night, but putting her stash in the pill box was like a routine, if her Mum found it she'd be fucking dead! She takes the little bag of powder out and puts the pill box back on the shelf. She thinks about having a line, shaking the bag between her two fingers in front of her.
 'No, I'll wait.'
she closes the cabinet doors and with the little bag gripped tightly in her palm she walks back to the bedroom towards the jacket that she's wearing tonight, a little black bomber that is hanging from her bed post. She bends down and reaches into her inside pocket to pull out a little red pop open purse, she puts the little bag along side the notes.

*DING DONG* 

 'Saffron, Sadies here.'
 'Shit!'
Saffron mouths a silent impression of her mum with a screwed up face, she hated her mums shrill voice when she shouted, it was 'sooo annoying!'

 'Ok, send her up'
Safffron quickly snapped the purse shut and put it back into her jacket pocket. She goes back to her chair in front of the full length mirror and picks up her blusher. She can hear Sadie talking to her mum down stairs.

 'Have you got a boyfriend yet Sadie?'
 'No, not yet'
Saffron could tell Sadie was acting at being nice, and she laughed quietly to herself. Truth is Sadie loved the cock! and would tell everyone she didn't need a boyfriend.

 'I'm having to much fun!' but there was this one guy, Paul.
Saffron could hear Sadie coming up the stairs. 'Have a good night' Saffrons mum said before going back to her beloved television.
 
 'Yes Thanks.'
Sadie knocks once and push's the half open door.

 'Hi!'
 'Hi Sade'
Saffron reduces her volume 'sorry about my mum'
 'Thats ok, she's lovely'
 'errr, Sade your talking to me now, she's a fucking witch!'
 'Don't be so harsh, she's ok'
 'Anyway....you look hot!'
 'Thanks!, I got ready before I came round so we can drink this' Sadie pulls a half litre bottle of cheap vodka out of the bag she's carrying, its one of those seemingly bottomless and stupidly big handbags.
 'Got any coke?'
Saffron smiles to herself in the mirror, Sadie doesn't see her, she's to busy riffling through the array of clothes and shoes laid out on the bed. 'Yeah, I'll just go and get some' There's no reply from Sadie, she's picked up a sequined top with a logo across the breast area.

"PUNK'S NOT DEAD!"

Sadie doesn't notice what it say's, she's looking for the size.
 'Don't forget the glasses!.... typical its a size eight'
Sadie puts the top down and picks through the jumble sale of clothes and shoes until Saffron comes back into the room.
 'Here, you pour them, I'd better hurry up or we'll be late.'
She hands Sadie the glasses and the bottle of coke. Sadie pours a half vodka, half coke mix and downs the first two fingers, and passes the other glass to Saffron.
 'So what are you wearing?' Saffron sips at her vodka and coke.
 'Not sure yet?'
Holding up at denim skirt in one hand and her drink in the other, Sadie say's
 'Why don't you wear this?.... I wish I could fit into something like this.'
Sadie wasn't fat, although she thought she was, she was a size fourteen, big boobs and blue eye's, her hair was light brown with highlights. She was every bit as beautiful as Saffron.
 'Yeah maybe?, but i think I'll wear jeans, a top and my boots again, pass me that one with sequines across the tits' Saffron laughed, Sadie didn't.
Saffron was straightening her hair, Sadie was sitting on the edge of the bed as she noticed Saffrons laptop was open and her facebook page was up.
 'I can't believe Amy's done that to her hair!'
 'I know!'

 'So show me this guy you met last night?'
 'No way!'
 'go on'
 'ok, there's a picture of both of us in my pics from last night, I looked wrecked!'
A minute of silence  passed as Sadie clicked her way through the photo's.
 'Oh my God!'
 'yeah I know!'
 'no, not that!.... thats Paul's mate Andrew!...'

 
"Sunday morning, its everyday for all I care, Im not scared. I light my candles in a daze 'cause I've found God"

Three paracetamol,
Black coffee-one sugar,
Two poached eggs and one toast,
Three glasses of orange juice,
A heart burn tablet,
One bottle of Stella.

This was the hangover cure of Jack's choice, he'd perfected it over the years and this sunday morning he really needed it. He'd had his self-prescribed cure up to the point of the stella. He shuffled over to the fridge. Jack, his Brother and his Father lived in a three bedroom council house. It wasn't the cleanest of homes as you can imagine, with three men, one of which almost bed ridden, the chores kinda just got forgotten. The kitchen was the worst, no one ever washed up until they needed something and the plates were piling up around the sink. A single fly buzzed around the dried on tomatoe sauce from Jacks Poached eggs. The blind was down and the kitchen was dark, Jack was the only one awake, he cracked open the cold bottle of stella and took a large swig. He put the bottle on the counter and pulled his best shirt onto the ironing board. Jack was in deep thought as he ironed away the creases. The night before he'd gone through his music collection and was very aware that he'd fallen out of love with a lot of music. Nothing seemed real anymore. Jack was also very aware that if you've fallen out of love with music then there wasn't much hope left. Jack reminded himself of the music he did like. Nirvana was is still his favourite. He'd never idolised Cobain or anyone else for that matter, not like some people do. 
 'People only fuck it all up and end up dead, or worse- Advertising butter or "time" on comercial radio!, who needs heroes?!'
 
Jack went up stairs to get dressed for church, he went every sunday. He'd been dragged along by his mother, when she was still alive, but now he'd started to listen to what they were all talking about. Jesus was the only person Jack needed. None of his friends knew he went to church, they'd just laugh. 
 'You sin more than the Devil himself!' is what his brother said when he'd found out he was still going to church.
 'Mum would be so proud, NOT!....your going to hell no matter how hard you pray!'
 Jacks hangover was gone, he had stayed in last night but he'd still drank the best part of a crate of stella, smoked about half a twenty bag of green and polished off the mandy he had left over from last friday. He'd watched a film and then watched the drunk people walking home from the pubs, one of them smashed the wing mirror off the old lady's car across the road, Jack thought about calling the police, but didn't he'd would have been paranoid as fuck! 
Jack got all dressed up and left the house turning left towards the high street, he walked at a brisk pace. He didn't like being late for church, everyone would stare if you turned up late. Jack liked to get there early and sit at the back and to the far right. This way he could hide behind the one of the large stone pillars whilst everyone else filed in to the their seats. He was on the hill before the church when he passed Paul. Paul was as thin as a rake with dark thin greasy hair. He was the singer in a band called 'The Laughter of a Mad Man'. He always wore black and was the on/off girlfriend of Sadie. Jack nodded his head and gurnted a hello and turned the corner as if he was going past the church. He waited for a couple of minutes until Paul got to the top of the hill and then ducked through the double doors of the church and found his prefered seat.

CHAPTER 2

'I crossed the ferrymans path,
I looked him in the eye's-withered and old.
He was wise, with well worked hands and cold.
He asked for silver and gold,
Of coarse I did as I was told....
I would never dare to be so bold.
But had I known the story,
or how the horrors would unfold.
Purgatory was nothing compared to what happened on that darkest of nights.


I could tell he knew I was from the wrong side of the river,
even as I settled, my mind could not.
Not like before, more twisted and contorted.
As the light shone apon the lake,
my dreams became distorted.
"There's no need to run.
The silver is fish and the gold is the sun."
Smoke poured across the fields,
smothering the innocent, stinging there open minds.
The sun now hid behind the trees, peeking through the leafy cracks.
The laughter of a mad man left my open mouth,
 and I can't remember when the day turned into that darkest of nights.

As we traveled through the feeling of nothingness, this is what he told me:
"So many great minds go to waste,
 but you are still young and greatness cannot be chased. 
You will be forgiven in their minds but not in their heart or their souls.
With every story that they tell, the reason will fade just like the light apon this lake. 
Until one day you lay your head down one final time,
then their story's will have a glorious ryhme.
Do you want that in your memories....do you want that in your blood, flesh and your bone?
Would you want that craved in stone?"

When I arrived home, you held me close.
I feared I had seen a wicked ghost.
Or that my mind had played an awful trick apon my heart.

Then I realised I too had the hands and eye's of the ferry man, and that your sweet, unknowing, adoring love, that I'd longed for and prayed I could mirror,
was all I needed to see me through the darkest of nights.'

 
The party's at Mike's!

A band was already playing when Jack turned up at Mike's house. Mike's parents were away and he'd arranged a party, a bbq and bands. Jacks band hadn't been asked to play. The Laughter of a Mad Man were headlining and on the flyer that greeted Jack as he walked onto the drive way had them billed as "psychedelic Goth". Jack sniffed out a laugh at this...anything labeled as psychedelic was to be laughed at in Jacks head. He thought that it was a funny because half the bands that called themselves psychedelic hadn't even smoked a spliff in their life.
 'Would any band know if they were psychedelic? even if they really were?.... and as for goth!' 
It was an aguement Jack loved to have with Andrew. 

Jack walked into the back garden and was taken back by the amount of people that were in Mike's garden, Jack didn't know half of them, or even know half this amount of people full stop! which was a good thing because he hadn't been officialy invited and now he could avoid the people that needed avoiding. The band playing at the time were a local band, Jack had forgotten the name, but recognised the singer, he liked the sound. Pretty heavey. He walked over to the barrel of beer, grabbed himself a stella and cracked it open on the patio wall, he watched the band and the people standing around talking, eating, infusing thier clothes with bbq smoke. It dawned on him that no-body was listening to the band. Jack was in good spirit, he was up for this party and he knew Sadie would be here later to watch Paul and Andrews band.

A hour had past and the party was warming up, laughter and squeels filled the cool summer air. The band had finished and the Beastie Boy's had been whacked up to nearly full. Garden lanterns lit the path towards the bbq and little groups of people gathered around the garden. Paul and the band were setting up their gear on the make-shift stage. Jack was chatting to a friend in the darkest part of the garden on a swing chair, tucking into his second burger and his fifth stella. Ben was a big dude with a big white fro and a trucker cap perched on-top. He was an old friend of Jacks and they talked mostly about women and music. 

 'So hows the band going?...you playin' tonight?'
 'Nah, not tonight.'
 'But your still doing your thing though, right?'
 'Yeah, but it a little complicated.'
 'Complicated?'
 'Yeah, basically Tom's a dick!'

Ben laughed and swigged his beer.

 'You know we should never have split The Aliens mate'
 'Yeah that was some pretty cool shit!...I liked the name too.'

They both fell silent for a minute and pondered the memories. Jack spotted Sadie walking towards him from the house, she'd arrived about half hour ago and had Saffron linked on her arm.

 'Damn them two are fit as fuck!'
 'Yes they fuckin' are!'

A sudden panic hit in Jacks brain, he was not cool around girls and definetly not cool around Sadie and Saffron. They had a way of making you feel small, you know the way some girls do, and most of the time they were after something.

 'Hey Jack...Ben'

They tweeted like two synchronized parakeets. Jack weakly replied and Ben bellowed-

 'LADIES!'

The girls turned there attention back to Jack.

 'You still going to church, Jack?' Saffron said smartly.
 'Who told you that shit?'
 'Your fit brother.'
 'Well he's a prick!, I ain't been to church for fuckin' ages.'

The girls giggled and the Mike seemed to appear from no-where.

 'JAAACCK....you alright?'
 'Yeah not bad, you?'
 'Yeah cool'
 'Good party' Jack thought he'd better be nice.
 'just getting started mate, just getting started'

Mike was a popular guy, mainly because the amount of party's he threw. He didn't seem to mind Jack being at the party. Maybe he'd forgotten exactly who he'd invited? Jack pulled a pre-rolled joint from his pocket. Mike and the rest already looked like they were high on some thing, so why not join them. He was fully stocked up, coke for when the beer got to much, weed to get things started, and pills to get him through until morning.

Am I dreaming?...
Late or early? The usually strong constitution shimmers and wavers. Everythings a different shade. Some cunt sticks Van Morrison on the telly and my patience wears thin.
A girl stood in the hallway flashes a grin, plays with her hair and slinks up to bedfordshire. The room starts to spin. Light headed and heavenly sedated, her ethereal features pin you to the wall. Through gritted teeth and a grimace, you strive to play it cool. Its eight A.M. But my heart is still racing. The glass table laid in front of the early drop outs, smears and stains litter its cold veneer. 
Pizza slicer, drinking straws(assorted design), shredded card board, listless expression. One voice.....

 'Jack....?'
Very quiet at first.

 'Jack!....up here.'
Now I realise it wasn't in my noggin'

It was Saddie, FUCK!....It was Sadie. What had happen at the party? Jack wasn't even at Mikes house anymore, how the hell did he get here? when did he get here?

 'Come up here Jack, I need you.'

Holly shit, she needs me, Jack felt a tingle in his cock, the old boy started to lift he's head and Sadie hadn't even told Jack what she wanted, but his mind was already ploughing into her kleftico and causing  panda molly on her sweat tight arse!

 'huh?'
He peeled himself from the sofa and made his way to the stairs, as he got the bottom he looked up to see Sadie leaning over the banister, still in the position see was when see talked the life back into Jacks brain. She looked so beautiful. Crusty and with a slight pulled through a bush look, but beautiful, even after being up all night and doing twice as many drugs as Jack. 

 'Come up here Jack, there's something I need from you.'
 'Where's Paul?' Jack whispered back.
 'Don't worry about him Jack. Its very early.'
 'Ok'
Jack started to walk up the stairs, and as he neared the top Sadie dissapeared into a doorway of the landing. Jack was just quick enough to catch a sight of her long black boots floating away. He followed, noticing how dry his throat was he diverted into a bathroom and took a look into a mirror.

 'oh dear' 

He splashed water onto his face and drank straight from the tap. ahhhh he drank a good pint, to wash away the fluffy feeling. 

'Jack?...'

Sadie's voice was rough and tired dry. Jack went to the room she was calling from and found her laid head on hands looking at Jack.

 'Come lay here with me Jack'

As Jack flattened the matress he smelt the wiff of JD.

 'Last night was so cool Jack, I didn't know you were like that!'
 'No, neither did I Sadie'

Sadie laughed and smiled whilst looking straight into Jacks watery eye's. Jack was trying to remember exactly what the fuck Sadie was going on about, but she hadn't stopped smiling since he'd entered the room so whatever it was Jack was gonna roll with it. 

 'So you wanna do it again?'
 'Hey!?'
 'I feel so horny, and Pauls miles away. Fuck me like you did last night?'
 'er yeah ok....but...where are we?'
 'ha ha ha, ah Jack fucking kiss me!'
 
They kissed. Fucking hell this is amazing. Im kissing Sadie!...Hang on I've already fucked her once, apprarently? Oh god, her lips are so sweet! Jack was like iron now and about to bust out of his jeans or snap his snake? Sweet jesus!

 'Wait, I need to do something. Have you got any coke left?'
 'I don't know'
 'Check!'
 'Jack stood up and felt in his pockets checking his shirt pocket last in which he found a small bag of powder and a pill.

 'Yes!, come on lets have it all! and then fuck for ever!'

Jack felt like he was in some movie, shit like this never happened to him and the amount of fantasys he'd had about Sadie made this feel like a dream. He looked out the window. It was light and he was in the country. If this was a dream, it felt so real and Jack didn't wanna wake up!

 'I'll take the coke and you take the pill, I don't do pills'
 'Ok'

Jack opened the the seal on the little bag and with two fingers he picked out the small white pill and paased the bag to Sadie. She had already grabbed a cd case to rack up on and tapped out the powder before taking a note from her bag and sniffing up to huge slugs of powder. Jack placed the pill on the tip of his tongue and swallowed, all the time watching Sadie.

 'Jez, you needed that!'
 'Shut-up' Sadie joked.
 'come on lets have some fun!'

Her massive breasts spilled out of her low-cut top as she bent down whilst on the edge of the bed to take off her boots. She jumped up and pulled the bed covers back. By this time Jack had removed his shirt, shoes and socks (of coarse) nothing said un-sexy quite aswell as keeping your socks on, even Jack knew that! As Sadie climbed into the bed he jumped in beside her. They both giggled and sadie pulled the duvet up to their necks. Jack thought for a moment about who's bed this was?... and even more importantly- who's house this was? but as Sadie removed her bra and started to rub Jacks hard on he forgot all about that and bent his head to take one of the peach coloured globes in to his mouth, working his way back up her stale perfumed neck like a perverted vampire desperate for blood. As there mouths met they kissed soft at first, then hard, loads of tongue, flicking, darting, fat and soft, lusting, unlusting, loving?, pulling at clothes, skin and hair. Jack kicked off his trousers and Sadie breathed fast and long. Jack felt her through the front of her sticky thong, his hand occasasionally snaking down her bare thighs- which she couldn't open very wide as her skirt resricted her. She pulled Jacks cock from his boxers and whispered...

 'I want you'

Jack could feel his heart pumping, it felt like it was going to burst from his chest and fly out the window! He rolled onto Sadie, they both had their eye's shut tightly, still kissing. Jack open his eye's for a moment. He was high. The pill was doing its job, very well, maybe a little to well? He pushed himself into her wetness, slowly, then steadily before building to a blistering pace. Sadie pleasured herself as he pistoned in and out of mound. They kissed hard, painfully, Jacks lips pressed so close to Sadies he had to push her away.

Jack suddenly felt very strange, like he couldn't breath. He couldn't speak either, he was so hot. His throat was so tight, he began to feel the watery feeling of sickness in his mouth....

The papers didn't paint a very pretty picture of what happened that morning. They told a story of a "down and out" a "no-hoper" a "pill head" " another wasted youth". Sadie was talking to someone about it all, she was cut up bad. I mean, to open your eye's to that must have be horrific and the fact that she'd...well friends you know the story. The cause of death was an overdose but the doc's said it could have quite as easily been the alcohol. The funeral was a grim one, when a young person dies there's definetly more saddness than if it was some old crusty. Jacks brother spoke painfully at the funeral.


The vicar handed out a cd of Jacks music as people followed the coffin out church.

"Hey Jude, take a sad song and make it happy..."

Of coarse no-one listened to the cd, too painful at the time and then pushed under the carpet like everything else about Jacks death. Soon everything returned to normal, as it always does it a small town like this. Turning, turning, turning.....

Ran-sid Milkk

don't try to Rule
whAt you do
Nothing to say
but its Still (c)lear
InDirectly
just a Moment in tIme
embrace your fauLts
then kicK/Keep the habit.

Luke left for America this morning, which brought our summer gigs to a very enjoyable end at Hatchfest, there was a LOT of wasps, but apart from that it was very dandy. Rabbi Fig fell off stage just before we were due to start, which was fucking funny. We played in full sunshine, and straight after we finished it hammered it down... it was like a mexican wave of umbrella's.


So what to do now?.....well the vid is coming on nicely and we have started a new song 'Lolita Ray'. A bassline like the Eaters and unintentionally it would seem.... lyrics like Stick Men with Ray Guns. A new painting will be in our pics soon aswell.

We will be keeping busy!

Massive thanks to everyone that been to one of our summer gigs, for all your support and kind words we have recieved. Hope to see you alll again early october with new songs, old haircuts, even longer beards and massive belly's!


Be eccentric to each other!..... and enjoy the rest of the summer.

Due to reasons out of our control we couldn't record our newest tunes at the weekend....which really is quite shit! 

We have booked new dates for recording in september.