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HARDҖ·Ø·Я·¥

Last Updated: 11/25/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 22
Sign: Capricorn

Signup Date: 4/13/2004

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[10 Jul 2009 | Friday]

37.00

omnia vicent amor.

every cloud has a silver lining.

faith can move mountains.

love will always find a way.

pain is weakness leaving the body.

be it done to me according to thy will.

everything happens for a reason.

God works in mysterious ways.

where there's life; there's hope.

honestly.

they gotta tell you something, i guess.

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[06 Jul 2009 | Monday]

36.00

< refer to blog posts 00.00 & 15.00 for further reruns of the current MySpace user's life. >

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[31 May 2009 | Sunday]

35.00

bad boy

something's missing, & i don't know why
i always feel the need to hide my feelings from you
is it me, or you that i'm afraid of?
i tell myself, "i'll show you what i'm made of."
can't bring myself to let you go.

something's happened, & i can't go back
i fall apart every time you hand your heart out to me
what happens now, i know i don't deserve you
i wonder how i'm ever gonna hurt you.
can't bring myself to let you go.

i don't wanna cause you any pain
but i love you just the same
& you'll always be my baby
in my heart, i know we've come apart
& i don't know where to start
what can i do?
i don't wanna feel used.

bad boy; drunk by six
kissing someone else's lips
smoked too many cigarettes today
i'm not happy when i act this way
kissing some kind stranger's lips
smoked too cigarettes today
i'm not happy
not happy.

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[09 May 2009 | Saturday]

34.00

& so i come home-not-quite-home, miles away

i go ooh ooh you go ahh ahh.

i can't lie lieleieleieleiei wanna get what i want don't stop

& here i am. every look. every notion joke feeling every thing. i just cant resist you. halos in the sky....... stars in my eyes........ every touch every breath every stare. man those fkn stares. .... that needs to stop....... and the games but the stares...... it only tiesthe thread even tighter....                 and for once imnotthe atropos tighteinnn the silk. its happeninon its own. fate in motion. looks and notions

simple notions. motions. slightly lesbian lol. pregnant fat bitch but w/e i guess thats coo.   youve fallen. you need an angel to carry you back to heaven. and baby if you aint known, thats where i came from

just dont leave it at that. dont do it. not now. im too far deep into. i dont know about you but ive gambled so much for somethin so unknown. i traded machon for the abyss. and i swear to god i won't fkn miss. not this shot or this feeling

when yr eyebrows curve. when a shot of liquor hits a nerve. why wipe yr lips at the taste of skyy when thats where you came from. beautiful angel. fiend angelical. el dolorida del amor.

thunder only happens when its rainin hearts only beat when theyre breaking hateres only love you when theyer hating.   blood or rain wash away. kyrie eleison christo eleison kyrie eleison. perdonme por mis culpas.   christ almighty why do i get crushed by a

is this a one way street leading to a one way street? either way ill know. im takin a left hand turn on a red red light.   either way ill be happy.

crash.

you fat queer. stop looking at my myspace.

that last line wasnt for you....... but i do have my own share of groupie   s

i just want you the right way. i want you. but i wanted you to wantm e to. want you to want me. juts like i want you

want me baby

dont play with somethin youcant cherish for life

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[02 May 2009 | Saturday]

33.00

22. Be first. Be strong. Be a man. And then,... be an angel!

34. Don't be afraid of the truth, even if the truth may mean your death.

58. Don't hinder the work of the Paraclete. Be united to Christ in order to purify yourself, and together with him experience the insults, the spit, the blows, and the thorns... Experience with him the weight of the cross, the nails tearing your flesh, and the agony of a forsaken death... and enter into the pierced side of our Lord Jesus until you find secure shelter in his wounded heart.

73. It hurt you--like a dagger in your heart--to hear people say you had spoken badly of those priests. And I'm glad it hurt, for now I'm quite sure you have the right spirit.

122. Many live like angels in the middle of the world. You,... why not you?

143. To defend his purity, Saint Francis of Assisi rolled in the snow. Saint Benedict threw himself into a thornbush. Saint Bernard plunged into an icy pond. You..., what have you done?

151. Detachment. How hard is it? How I wish that I were fastened only by the three nails and had no more feeling in my flesh than the cross!

158. Now it's tears. It hurts, doesn't it? Of course. That's what it was meant to do.

159. Your heart weakens and you reach out for something on earth to support you. Good, but take care that what you grasp to stop you from falling doesn't become a dead weight that will drag you down, a chain that will enslave you.

160. Tell me, tell me: This... is it a friendship or a chain?

163. "If your right eye scandalizes you, pluck it out and cast it from you!" Poor heart... that's what scandalizes you!

Grasp it, hold it tight in your hands--and don't give it any consolation. And, when it asks for consolation, full of noble compassion say to it slowly, as if confiding, "My heart... heart on the cross, heart on the cross!"

171. Love... is well worth any love.

172. Unless you mortify yourself, you'll never be a prayful soul.

173. The appropiate word you left unsaid; the joke you didn't tell; the cheerful smile for those who bother you; that silence when you're unjustly accused; your kind conversation with people you find boring & tactless; the daily effort to overlook one irritating detail or another in those who live with you... this, with perserverance, is indeed solid interior mortification.

175. No ideal becomes a reality without sacrifice. Deny yourself. It is so beautiful to be a victim!

178. Whenever you see a poor, wooden cross, alone, uncared for, worthless... and without a corpus, don't forget that is your cross--the everyday hidden cross, unattractive and unconsoling--the cross that is waiting for the corpus it lacks: and that corpus must be you.

182. In our poor present life, let us drink to the last drop from the chalice of pain. What does it matter to suffer for ten, twenty, fifty years if afterward there is Heaven forever, forever... forever!

And above all--even better than for the sake of the reward--what does suffering matter if we accept it to console, to please God our Lord with a spirit of reparation, united with him on his cross--in a word, if we suffer for Love?...

186. We must give ourselves in everything, we must deny ourselves in everything. Our sacrifice must be a holocaust.

187. Paradox: To live, one must die.

188. Remember that the heart is a traitor. Keep it locked with seven bolts.

194. I'm going to tell you which are man's treasures on earth so you won't slight them: hunger, thirst, heat, cold pain, dishonor, poverty, loneliness, betrayal, slander, prison...

195. It is true, whoever said it, that the soul and the body are two enemies that cannot be separated, and two friends that cannot get along.

196. The body must be given a little less than it needs. Otherwise it will turn traitor.

203. The happiness of us poor men, even when it has supernatural motives, always leaves a bitter aftertaste. What did you expect? Here on earth, suffering is the salt of our life.

207. Give thanks, as for a very special favor, for that holy abhorrence that you feel toward yourself.

208. Blessed be pain. Loved be pain. Sanctified be pain.... glorified be pain!

214. Say to your body: "I would rather keep you in slavery than be myself your slave."

225. Your worst enemy is yourself.

226. Treat your body with charity, but with no more charity than you would show toward a treacherous enemy.

227. If you realize that your body is your enemy, and an enemy of God's glory since it is an enemy of your sanctification, why do you treat it so softly.

229. With you, Jesus, how joyful is pain and how bright is darkness.

230. You are suffering! Listen: "his" heart is no smaller than ours. You are suffering? That's for the best.

260. Sadness, depression. I'm not surprised : it's the cloud of dust rasied by your fall. But... enough of it! Can't you see that the cloud has been borne far away by the breath of grace?

Moreover, your sadness--if you don't reject it--could very well be the cloak of your pride. Did you really think yourself perfect and sinless?

299. Christ died for you. You... what should you do for Christ?

300. Your personal experience--that dejection, that restlessness, that bitterness--brings to life the truth of those words of Jesus: no one can serve two masters!

302. Your crucifix: As a Christian you should always carry a crucifix with you. Place it on your desk. Kiss it before you go to bed and when you wake up. And when your poor body rebels against your soul, kiss your crucifix!

393. A man--a gentleman--ready to compromise would condemn Jesus to death again.

418. Sorrow of love--because he is good; because he is your friend, who gave his life for you; because everything good you have is his, because you have offended him so uch... because he has forgiven you. He! Forgiven you!

Weep, my son, with sorry of love.

420. How little a life is to offer to God.

423. If one of my fellow men had died to save me from death... God died. And I remain indifferent.

439. Don't forget sorrow is the touchstone of love.

473. Cast away that despair produced by the realization of your weakness. It's true: financially you are a zero, and socially another zero, and another in virtues, and another in talent...

But to the left of these zeroes is Christ... and what an immeasurable figure it turns out to be.

503. The solitude of Mary. Alone!... She weeps, forsaken. You and I should keep our Lady company, and weep too, for our sins have fastened Jesus to his cross--with nails.

628. Factus obediens usque ad mortem: mortem autumn crucis.

735. If you're an apostle, death will be a good friend who helps you on your way.

736. Have you seen the dead leaves fall in the sad autumn twilight? So fall souls each day into eternity. One day, the falling leaf will be you.

737. Haven't you heard the mournful tone with which the worldly complain that "each day that passes is a step nearer death"?

It is. And I tell you: rejoice, apostolic soul, for each day that passes brings you closer to life.

739. Don't be afraid of death. Accept it from this day on, generously... when God wills it how God wills it, where God wills it. Believe me, it will come at the time, in the place and in the way that are the best--sent by your Father God. May our sister death be welcome!

740. What part of the world would collapse if you were missing, if you were to die?

752. Always. Forever! Words brought to our lips by the human desire to prolong--to make eternal--what is pleasant.

Lying words , on earth, where everything must end.

753. The things of this earth are continually passing away: hardly has pleasure begun when it has already ended.

Currently reading:
The Way
By Josemaria Escriva

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[28 Apr 2009 | Tuesday]

32.00

fa·tal·ism

(fāt'l-ĭz'əm)
n.

1. Philosophy. The doctrine that all events are predetermined by fate and are therefore unalterable.

2. Psychology. A submissive mental attitude accepting the belief that all events are predetermined and inevitable.

3. The acceptance of all things and events as inevitable.

4. Submission to fate.

5. Religion. A prophetic declaration of what must be.

6 Literature. The final result in a concequence; an outcome.

7. Death, destruction, ruin, or doom.

Origin:
1325–75; ME < L fātum utterance, decree of fate, destiny, orig. neut. of fātus, ptp. of fārī to speak

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2006 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

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[20 Apr 2009 | Monday]

31.00

i was weak; that's why i needed you.

needed someone to punish me for my sins.

but it's over now; i know the truth.

now it's time to end this.

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[30 Mar 2009 | Monday]

30.00

now, dear children, pay attention
i am the voice from the pillow
i have brought you something
i ripped it from my chest

they come to you in the night
demons, ghosts, black faeries
they creep out of the cellar shaft
& will look under your bedding

they come to you in the night
& steal your small hot tears
they wait until the moon awakes
& put them in my cold veins

with this heart i have the power
to blackmail the eyelids
i sing until the day awakens
a bright light on the heavens
my heart burns.

Currently listening:
Mein Herz Brennt: Based on Music of Rammstein
Release date: 2004-02-10

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[25 Mar 2009 | Wednesday]

29.00

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[27 Feb 2009 | Friday]

28.00

breathe you out; breathe you in
you keep coming back to tell me
you're the one who should've been
& my eyes see it oh-so clear
it was long ago, & far away
but it never disappears

try to put it in the past
hold onto myself & don't look back

so let me go; just let me fly away
let me fill this space between us
growing deeper, & much darker every day
watch me now; i'll be so anewed
my heart will be unbroken
it will open for everyone but you

even when i've crossed the line
it's like a lie i've told a thousand times

i don't wanna dream about
all the things that never were
& maybe i can live without
when i'm out from under
i don't wanna feel the pain
what good would it do me now?
i'll get it all figured out
when i'm out from under

& part of me still believes when you say you're gonna stick around
& part of me still believes we can find a way to work it out
but i know we've tried everything we've tried
so let's just say goodbye
forever.

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[13 Feb 2009 | Friday]

27.00

"you're not gonna let me in there again.. are you?

you've got your armour back on; that's that."

i have no armour left.

you've stripped it from me.

whatever is left; whatever is left of me; whatever i am; i am yours.

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[13 Feb 2009 | Friday]

26.00

1. Put your MUSIC PLAYER on shuffle. ( i may have changed this from "iTunes"...)
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got this from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
THE REAL THING

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
DRUNK ON SHADOWS (& THAT WOULD BE HALF CORRECT)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
CHANGE (IN THE HOUSE OF FLIES)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
EXCESS

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Время луны (VERY TRUE.)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
I'M YOU (OR AT LEAST THEY PRETEND TO BE.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
PIECE OF ME

WHAT IS 2+2?
30 MINUTES

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
AVE MARIA

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
IT'S DANGEROUS BUSINESS EVEN STEPPING OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR (THAT MIGHT BE WHY SHE SITS AROUND & PLAYS THE SIMS ALL DAY.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
THE SHOW MUST GO ON

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GROW UP?
BEYOND REDEMPTION

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
DISASSOCIATIVE

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
DITCH THAT NIGGA (WHICH THEY PRETTY MUCH DID.)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
NINE CRIMES (FOLLOWED BY A NICE GLASS OF CYANIDE-LACED PUNCH, BECAUSE THIS HAS TO BE THE MOST DEPRESSING SONG I EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
UR SO GAY (MY FINAL F-U TO MY FRIENDS)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
SIMPLE MOTIONS (I.E., NOT MASTURBATING.)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
PARANOID

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
MY GIRL GOT A GIRLFRIEND (VERY TRUE.)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
REHAB

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
WELCOME TO HEARTBREAK

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
INFATUATION

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
LIEBESTOD (NO FKN IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
FLY ON THE WALL

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
IST DAS GUT

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
ARE YOU THE RABBIT?

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
KILLING LONELINESS (THAT ONE KIND'VE WORKS.)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
SEVEN THINGS

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[08 Feb 2009 | Sunday]

25.00

no more words.

Currently listening:
One of the Boys
By Katy Perry
Release date: 2008-06-17

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[06 Feb 2009 | Friday]

24.00

dear shitty internet blog;

i'm not good at talking about my feelings. or my life. or my feelings in reference to my life. so, we're going to take me out of the equation & pretend i'm an inanimate object.

like an orange.

okay. here we go.

THE END LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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[27 Dec 2008 | Saturday]

23.00

Rules: You're supposed to write 16 things about yourself then tag 16 of your friends, including the person who tagged you and they are to do the same.

so here we go:

001. i hate italian food. so much. man i fkn hate it.

002. i love authentic mexican food & authentic dim sum. o man. if i was millionaire, i would never leave a dim sum restaurant.

003. tripas is my favorite meat on the face of this earth. fried, grilled, raw, i'll take it any way. don't know it? learn it.

004. i'm obviously a completely & utter fat ass bcuz the only thing i've managed to talk about was food & we're already 1/4 of the way done.

005. my favorite song of all time is the opera versions of Ave Maria & O Holy Night. second favorite is that one black bitch sings in Romeo + Juliet. the new one.

006. i know everyones like to joke about how much of a dick i am, but i'm a rl romantic. & it burns me in every possible way it can.

007. most people think i'm chauvinistic, racist, homophobic, & close-minded. that may be true, but i'm just glad i'm not some womanly faggot crying about it.

008. part of me wants to go to school to be president & part of me wants to be a raging crackhead with no future. it's been a war between these two endeavors for as long as i can remember, & so far, the latter is winning.

009. i've been at least four different religions when i was a teenager. i am now back to being a devout catholic. funny how things work i guess.

010. my reputation exceeds me dramatically.

011. i hate when people do what i like to do. not that i like to be different or anything. it's just like. that's my shit. back the fuck up. i don't share hobbies.

012. the vry few yrs of hschool i had, i always wanted to be a nerd. only bcuz closetly, i loved all the stuff they did. but i never could be one of them. & maybe i'm a little resentful about that to this day.

013. i may have a slight drinking problem. in any case, my favorite liquor is anything flammable. it was E&J brandy, but i've had to switch to more hardcore substances because it was making me a chronic fat ass.

014. i rarely stop caring about people.

015. & for the sake of running out of facts, i rarely care for people in the first place.

016. but if yr reading this, & yr who i want to read this, i've never cared more about a single person in my life. & i'll never even know why. just don't forget about me, aight? cuz i haven't forgot 'bout you.

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