While on the road this past week and last, we took the time to create some mad-mad libs.  I thought I should share them with you...

Frankenstein Where Are You?

It is hard to believe that Frankenstein, one of the spiky horror stories of all time, was written by a very spooky woman.  Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley was only 3,763,245.7 years old when she created this smelly masterpiece.  Today this Gothic story has been made into a countless number of stage plays, as well as cars and television sphincters.  As a result of  Curt's performance in the original doo doo, we think of Frankenstein as a monster with a cracker style head who is over 42 feet tall and has beaches sticking out of his neck.  We also believe Frankenstein to be the name of the monster, when actually, it is the name of the necromancer who created him.  Unfortunately, it was Dr. Frankenstein's bloody fate to be destroyed by the very fart he created.  What we learn from this story is: You can't build your own hot fries without the flaccid recipe.

The Perfect Boyfriend

Let's imagine the perfect boyfriend.  He would wake you every morning wih a facebook.  He would use his cell Ron Jeremy Dick to drive you 69 times a day.  He would rub your twaddling back after a slimy day at the swollen office.  He would help you shop for love lances without fist fucking one bit.  He would shaft all of your friends with his furious charm.  He would never click over to a pro dookie splatter game while you're watching your favorite episode of "pectorals in the fungus".  And he wouldn't be at all jealous of your obsession with Dick Van Dyck.  Ladies, he is out there just colliding for you.

The High School Monster

Narrorator:
Our scene is in a tainted high school in Miami.  The students are festering with fear.  Listen as our heroine, Hannah speaks to James.

Hannah:
The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young clams and raped the Chemistry Teacher.

James:
Don't be afraid Artie.  I think the monster is really just a swamp.

Hannah:
Buy Stuart saw it.  It has 101 arms and long throbbing hair and red teeth.

James:
Hmm.  That sould like David.  I'm am going to set a trap for this so-called monster.  And you must be the slutty bait.

Hannah:
Oh, no!  Do I look prudish?  When I go out I walk very swiftly.  Get some other drug store.


Letter from an American in Paris

Dear Sweaty David,

I am having a well hung time here in Paris.  I spend every day bustily visiting museums, monuments and whores.  Yesterday I went to the Carlson Tower, which is located on the river donkey.  Then I went to the Jeu de Pomme.  This is a museum that is spelled J-U-E D-E P-O-M-M-E and is pronounced goober smooch.  It is next to the Louvre, which has the famous statue of Venus de McCorkle and the painting of the Mona Hannah by Leonardo da Baloney.  The center of Paris is called the Place of the cum bucket and is always filled with thousands of dancers all taking photographs of each other and of the many French buttholes.  The food at the Paris restaurants is strapping.  I have already eaten religous snails and duck a la orange.  I plan to rot to Paris again next year and I hope you can dick too.

Reviews of Entertainers Appearing in Resorts

Justin and Chelsea made their debut as a really sloppy singing act at the Vagina Lounge.  The songs they sang ranged from a series of crowd-pleasing old monkeys to white songs from England, Spain, and men's public restroom.  Good summer entertainment.
A young comedian named J.D. opened at the discombobulated room of the discombobulated hotel last night.  He began with a monolouge of one-line drugs, which garnered crappy laughter from the audience.  Then he donned a sticky comical sock and performed a pantomine of a customer in a pet store trying to buy a weiner.  This should be a good bet for television.  Curt and Brian, the dancing twins, headline the James Hotel with their titillating act.  The twins present their version of the drive and also do their interpretation of the fuck.  For the grand finale, the duo does a 69-step to the music of David Bowie.

oh yes. this time it's gonna be on vinyl. check out Clan Destin Productions in our top friends.
these are few of the bands that will be featured :

Vermillion Sands
Tantrums
Woollen Kits
The Pheromoans
Wetdog
Ouija
Lost Girl
Pop Fosters
Royal Headache
Mossy Roots
Mary Cotter
Kate Ferencz
Ovaria
Erasers
Shock! Horror!
Satans Youth Ministers

as soon as the rekkids are here we'll let ya knowww. http://www.myspace.com/clandestinproductions

The church of the psychedelic of goat is constantly expanding.This is just an example of phase 1 at work. Our split with Lil Daggers is currently in works for release. and a tour in october is also in out midst. We will put up a new track from those recordings soon. check the page for updates and such. Also we will let all you know when we get the records in.
They should be here hopefully around september sometime.


until then
LUV


SYM

here's a small clip from an Egan's show awhile back.. we return to tuscaloosa on may 15th. until then....




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXrD1Hs9s6k&feature=channel_page

Here's the Videos of our whole first show...you may want to skip the first couple of minutes in the first video because we dont start playing until about two minutes in....

Part One



Part Two



Part Three



Part Four