So... sitting at work with nothing to do but chew on paperclips and work on Jacob King's dang school books.... I decided to start working on some college stuff. Seeing as how I was awarded the World's Most Tan Procrastinator, I am good like that, I need to do this.haha

So I start filling out Info and typing my butt off... and I realize that I am SO not into this.haha

I knew this to begin with, but I was reminded in a serious way.
College=bleh.

But I know I have to go to do what I want to do in life.

I want to be the best I can be, duh.

So I had a mini convo with the big guy, and we decided to work on that tomorrow.lol


Anyways, its been a million days since I've written a blog.
Figured today was an amazing day to randomly type out what is in my head and let the world read it.

I've been reading up on Jason Mraz's blogs. That kid is hilarious. Read them if you get a chance. haha

Also, I'm really tired of boys.haha
Boys, why dont you just grow up?? lol

Just Joshing thats all.

Um... lets see... Candace graduates this month! I am excited about that. We will both officially be grown up haha ok ok I know that wont ever happen but, a gal can pretend right?

Yeah so... I guess thats about it.

Vote For Danny.

Peace&Jesus
-carrie

My life's goal is to...
I would answer that, but I'm not quite sure yet.
My name is Carrie and I have a purpose in life. I know this because God told me I have a purpose. He just wasn't quite as clear as I wish he would be :]
So for now I'm just listening, and taking his words into my heart and into my everyday actions.
My name is Carrie. I'm 18 years old. And I'm a christian.
When God told me that I was going to be in ministries... I was pretty scared.
Who wouldn't be?  But after I finally picked up my backpack of courage, I was set. I knew that I wanted to travel and sing and teach other people and teens about what God has done and is doing in my life. I'm just not sure where he is putting me. A personal goal would be to (as any christian artist would want) is to hit it big and be in the well known world of Christian Music... But if thats not in the Big Guy's plan, then who am I to cry about it. I'm doing this one step at a time. And praying God will lead me and allow me to be the person I know I can be.
I am not your average young lady.  I am outgoing, bouncy, and to be honest I have really bad taste in clothes. Sometimes I talk to loud, and sometimes I find myself humming and I don't even know it. Hum De Dum Dum Dum.
THIS, is why I feel I connect with teenagers. I can have fun and laugh! I ENJOY MY LIFE! I feel God in my heart, and that makes my happy.
I have been through ALOT in the past year, and after alot of soul searching and prayer I have realized that life is short and I have alot to say in a little time. So I guess for now, my goal is to follow God. To listen and obey. And to strive to be the person that no matter where I'm at... speaking to a bunch of kids in a Sunday School room about their parents or their relationships , or standing on a stage in A packed auditorium telling my testimony and singing my songs before Toby Mac comes out!... I will be the person that can connect with everyone in that room. That people will leave that room and think... She was a real person. A real person that was sincere about what she said and what she believed. A person that LOVES GOD!
My goal.... I'll let you know.

What a weird guy.lol  He never said much, but when he had something to say... it was hilarious.  I never thought that I'd end up sitting on the back row with my girlfriends from school watching my cousin preach a funeral for weird and hilarious greg.  After months and months of praying for a change, yesterday God answered. He took Greg and relieved him from that hospital bed. Not exactly what I wanted,  but its what I got.  Som many people prayed for a change in Greg. And tonight I saw a change in about thirty other kids.  Concluding his funeral service with a chance to make a change, thirty teenagers filled the floor in front of Greg and made decisions for Christ. 

He was weird and hilarious.

And he was a good guy.

I'm glad I had the chance to know him.

Well, I noticed my blog section was sad and missed me.  So... here I am.  Sitting in my freshly cleaned room. Just thinking about the past few months.  Emotions are changing like gas prices and my family is... well... going through some pretty tough stuff.  What we thought was a large cyst turned out to be cancer.  Ovarian Cancer.  Wow.  I couldnt say it for about three weeks.  My mom has cancer.  It doesnt seem possible.But... we are making it through.  I take mom for blood work in the morning and it seems like things between us are better than they have ever been.  I told her the other day that I was glad she was my mom and that I was able to be with her to see her through this.  She has been the most amazing person through it all... even as we stood over the sink and ran our fingers through her her as it just fell out into our hands..  What a thing to have to experience.  I used to think how terrible it would be to have to go through that... But thinking about it and seeing it first hand... two very different things.  She really has changed my life.  In a very dramatic way.  What an amazing woman. 

 

lovelovelove

carrie

..thats how I feel.

Ugh. Seems like my blogs have turned into my outlet of fury (nice term btw made that up myself)...  anyways...

I'm angry and sad and I just wanna scream super sad songs and cry... boo.

But in the good news section of today's blog:

   1) I have a nice boyfriend...most of the time.

   2) I love my puppy. Killerface.

   3) My mommy is feeling pretty ok today.

   4) Church is tomorrow. I like church.

   5) Music is good to me.

 

These are 5 good things. Yay.

 

lovelovelove

carrie

O blog. You are my friend.

  It was a good day.  Mom was in a good mood. And not in too much pain.Surgery the 16th... Lexy's birthday.  I want things to be ok.  I try to make things easier around here for her and dad. I know they are being pushed to the edge.  I cook and clean and me and jake have been going to the store.  I really dont mind.  I just worry that in January... when I start up with traveling and doing bookings...mom wont be able to come along.  It scares me.  I need her there.  I cant imagine losing her.  I will stop that now.  I cant cry tonight.  Jake and i went by my grandparents' today.   he is doing ok... she is stressed.  I just wanna say thanks to everybody out there that has been praying for my family these past months.  You will never know how much it means to me... to all of us...  God has his hand on us and you for your kindness.  PLEASE continue to pray.  We need it more than ever.

lovelovelove

carrie

So much to say... wow.

A busy schedule for the first of the new year.  And lots of prayer needed.  Dec. 28 (my birthday)  was spent at Woods Hospital with my mom. .. who will be having surgery in January.  My grandpa has had improvement but... we still aren't sure.  I'm having some personal problems that are really starting to eat away at my endurance.  But I once listened to a man speak on endurance at a youth rally that i was performing at... and when I start to feel down I just think back to all the women of the bible.  Wow.  They had some ENDURANCE.  But... still pray.  for me and my family and the year thats coming so so soon.

yay for Jesus!

 

lovelovelove

carrie

A lover of music.. a lover of life...

Its hard to watch the present become the past.  Its even harder looking back on it and wishing you had done it different.  I try each day to think things through before I say or do them.  Pray over it.  Ask God to bless each decision.

 

As I sit here and wipe tears from my face I look back at the times I had and the friends I loved.  Wishing I could go back and not say this or tell him that....  I wonder if it is this hard on everyone?  I know it is.  My music tells me so.  It seems like no matter how I feel I can always find a song to tell me its gonna be ok.

 

This blog is pretty random but I guess its just a stress reliever at the moment.  To tell someone out there what I'm feeling and maybe get some comfort in knowing that everyone wants to change something.  That everyone feels pain and hurt about losing something or someone or making the wrong choice...

 

I'm not really sure anymore what I'm talking about.

 

Its just coming to me and I need it out.

I guess what I'm asking is...  Do we always know that the choice is the right one? Will we ever know?  Is it really in the stars?  Or is it just another chance kinda thing and your hoping you dont get burned.  Hoping you dont get a scar.  Hoping that every time youm look down and see that little mark it wont remind you of what happened....... what once was.....

 

lovelovelove,

carrie

The one thing I hate most in the entire world you ask?- Fighting with someone I really care about.

When you really really care about somebody and you are just together all the time and you are talking all the time and you are just so crazy about them... you are bound to have silly fights.  I know it happens.  It's just the worst.  If only everything could be happy and perfect all the time... Don't get me wrong. I'm happy... and things are pretty darn near being perfect.  And then something totally ridiculous and silly happens and you just wanna put your hands on your head and scream because you are so...GRR!   But I guess that comes with the caring thing...  You are there... It happens... you say sorry.... you forget it....

And then you smile and go on...even if its a stage smile.

 

Life is silly sometimes.  I guess thats all there is to say about that.

 

lovelovelove,

carrie