So I'm finally out! I know there's still people I haven't told in person yet, but they'll find out eventually. I'm very happy that everyone in my life is so accepting. I'm happy people are joking about it even. You know what though? As a straight person I kept hearing this person is gay, and that person is gay. But as soon as I started telling everyone I actually started feeling like I was the only 1. I have gay acquaintances but not so many gay friends. IT sucks! But at least I can finally relax now. However it's still awkward for me to say "yes I'm gay" when people ask. I'm used to saying no all the time. That and to be able to tell my friends "hey that guy's hot/cute" I'm so used to pretending like I'm joking about it. Sometimes I like to compare my being gay like as if I'm a vizard. I normally don't like people to be able to see that I am gay. I like to be low on the gaydar most of the time. However there are times when it just takes over. Like dancing in the car for example. What straight guy does that? But I can't stop myself, especially to "I gotta feeling". Don't get me wrong I'm fine with who I am. And I find it fun to pull on an imaginary mask and play singstar singing "oops I think I did it again"

I've also gotten drunk finally. It wasn't so bad. I can now see how people lose control, that's for sure. The next days hang over was odd. Totally fine at first then suddenly broke down in a cold sweat as my body shook. Then the vomit, it tasted like watermelon. Very odd since I had nothing of that flavor to drink or eat.

Well to be honest with you I really wasn't in a blogging mood. I felt more as if I was require to do this then to actually put true feelings and emotions into it. So if it doesn't sound that well written well now you know why. Anyways I'm going back to facebook to check on my farm and restaurant. So long and thanks for all the fish!

I like to play Pokemon. I don't like chick-flicks. I like anime. I don't like idiots. I like going to movies. I hate most humans. I'm trying to lose weight. I like music. I don't care much for Cher. I like surfing the web. I don't like the color purple. I love facebook. I find farting and burping funny. I'm more of a cartoon person. I don't like construction. I like driving. I don't like sports. I like cloudy days. I don't like musicals. I like penguins. My favorite number is pi. I don't like being in public alone. I like standing up for other people. I enjoy my friends. I don't like I-pods. I like people that use grammar correctly. I don't like gypsies. I like hiking and camping. I don't like squidbillies. I like the feeling, sound, smell, and look of water but not the taste. I like fast food... too much. I dance in my car. I don't like working with customers. I like the girl from the progressive insurance commercials. I don't like dogs. I like N'sync and Backstreet Boys as well as some Britney Spears. But I don't like Christina Agulara. I like blogging. I don't like shopping. I like to sing to music. I like rhythm games. I don't usually like cookies or cake. I like candy... again, too much. I have a big family. I don't like cars. I like 4chan, most of the time but not now. I like smiley's. I don't like linoleum, wood, or cement. I don't like pooping. I'm afraid of zombies. I don't like hearing about surgeries. I like sleeping. Old people scare me sometimes too. I like messing with cables. I don't like garages. I have bad luck. I don't like shaving my face. I do/don't like school. I like getting pictures taken.

More later, good night.

Recently I've been thinking about who I am and why I do the things I do, but more along why haven't I done certain things. I've come to the conclusion that for some reason while I worked at P.P. I had this feeling that I needed to be "better" then the average person. I had this thought of don't drink, don't party it's "dishonorable" so I decided what the fuck? Who gives a shit? No ones gonna judge me, no ones gonna hate me, and I shouldn't be judge mental of others. I am human (no matter how it pains me). So for this next arc of my life I've decided I'm gonna start doing the things I've missed out on because of P.P. a couple weeks ago I drank alcohol for the first time. It was not bad, totally what I expected. I honestly can't see how people become stupid, but maybe I should try actually getting drunk before I say that. The only thing it did to me was weigh down my body. Anyways I've also gone to a rave. I've always wanted to but had the thought that only druggies go there and I shouldn't "lower" myself down to that. So like I said, fuck being judge mental and shit I'm no better then the average human. I actually loved it. It was so much hella fun I'm gonna go again soon. I need some blinkies and glowies though to make it better. Well back to my thoughts. Over the next few weeks/months I'm gonna try doing things I've never previously allowed myself to do. I'm releasing the seal from my personality and showing off the side of me I've kept locked away deep down in my mind. That doesn't mean I'm changing completly, I'm just saying there's a small list of things I never allowed myself to do before but now I will. I'd continue on but I have to go be a jerk to Lydia. Bye now!

I feel like there's no point in waking up today. Nothing exciting going on, better adventure if I sleep. Yep although I just woke up about an hour ago, I'm gonna go try to sleep. Maybe I'll go to Japan in my dream. That'd be nice, then I can check out the Pokemon center. Call/text me if anyone wants to do anything. 6822-203-8902

Seriously now? I always forget how wonderful life really is. Going through ALL my old twitter updates, bout to do a xanga trip. I wish I hadn't deleted my livejournal. But seriously man, all the wonderful people I have in my life. All the wonderful things that have happened. All the influences. It doesn't matter how hard life is at some points because as long as these memories are with me I don't give a shit about anything else. To see how we've all grown up through my updates is insanely hilarious. I had brought back some old school putt putt memories those were funny. You can tell I used to have a sort of crush on someone there. About 75% of my updates had something to do with either Quakecon, Work, school, or Pokemon. I forgot how much I used to despise lawn work. I still do but I get over it. All the inside jokes man oh man. Crazy shit. It was like going through a scrap book. And to think I still have more in the future, holy shit man. I just pulled a Chris Angel and freaked my mind. Well I'm gonna go to bed, I'll see y'all in the morning. So long and thanks for all the fish! LOL

Heya Tom, it's Bob,
From the office down the hall.
It's good to see you buddy,
How've ya been?
Things have been okay for me,
Except that I'm a zombie now.
I really wish you'd let us in.
I think I speak for all of us when I say I understand
Why you folks might hesitate to submit to our demands,
But here's an FYI - you're all gonna die, screaming.

All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were not unreasonable,
I mean no-one's gonna eat your eyes
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were at an impasse here,
Maybe we should compromise.
If you open up the door,
We'll all come inside and eat your brains.

I don't wanna nitpick Tom, but is this really your plan -
Spend your whole life locked inside a mall?
Maybe that's okay for now,
But someday you'll be out of food and guns,
And you'll have to make the call.
I'm not surprised to see you haven't thought it through enough -
You never had the head for all that 'bigger picture' stuff.
But Tom, that's what I do,
And I plan on eating you, slowly.

All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were not unreasonable,
I mean no-one's gonna eat your eyes
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were at an impasse here
Maybe we should compromise
If you open up the door,
We'll all come inside and eat your brains

I'd like to help you Tom,
In any way I can.
I sure appreciate the way you're working with me.
I'm not a monster Tom - well, technically I am...I guess I am...

I've got another meeting Tom;
Maybe we could wrap it up.
I know we'll get to common ground somehow.
Meanwhile I'll report back to my colleagues,
Who are chewing on the doors.
I guess we'll table this for now.
I'm glad to see you take constructive criticism well
Thank you for your time, I know we're all busy as hell.
And we'll put this thing to bed,
When I bash your head open.

All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were not unreasonable,
I mean no-one's gonna eat your eyes
All we wanna do is eat your brains
Were at an impasse here
Maybe we should compromise
If you open up the door,
We'll all come inside and eat your brains

I had an omega super weird dream that a friend and I were driving one evening. Suddenly everyone in traffic had stopped and everyone got out of their cars. There was 1 wreck behind me that had just happened when everyone stopped. The guy got out of the second car and started yelling at the guy in the first car. So they started fighting. Then someone on the other side of the bridge traffic had randomly fainted. People were running to either the fight or the fainted person. I thought to call 911 but I could not find my cell, I thought to myself it is way to rare for me to not have my phone on me. But I go back to the car to look for it. As I got in a time warp happened and suddenly I'm a couple hours in the future in the same spot. All the cars are still there except everything is burned and there were burned bodies on the ground or chard clothes of where a body once was. I saw my friends DS on the ground and it still had his game playing (Pokemon). I can see fire fighters, police, and ambulances around but no one could see me. As I was walking around I decided to go back to my car and even it is burned now but I can see my phone in the car. I turned it on but it was just static like you'd see on a T.V. Then bam once again another time warp and I'm at my house a couple hours later all my friends and family are there but again, they can't see me or hear me or anything. I'm walking around as I hear them talking, telling stories, crying, and joking. I find the friend that was with me in traffic, except he's having the same problem. No one can hear or see him. But he tells me his girlfriend is always looking in his direction as if she could see him. We walk to the center of the room where everyone was then suddenly a grandfather clock started ringing mid-night, although I don't have a grand father clock in my house at all. But then everyone stopped crying, stopped talking, and just stared at my friend and I as if we had surprised them. Then I woke up. What the hell?

Gone to the kitchen to get a soda from the fridge, got it, went back to your room, set it down and forgot about it. Then 10 minutes later you go to the kitchen to get a drink thinking you haven't gotten one yet. Then your dad stops you and says something like "another soda already" then you remember that your first soda is still in your room. And you're like "oh yeah". Then you go to bed? Huh? Have you ever done that? Well I have... just now. Good night. Farewell. Bye!

Okay! So school's doing alright. Math is pretty easy. My lowest grade is a 77 and that's only cause I rushed through it. I wish I had spent more time on the test but oh well, he'll drop the lowest test grade, hopefully it'll be that one. Every thing else is all A's well 1 B (89). BCIS is easy too, homework "click on cell B2" durp what?

Traffic really sucks though. I almost got a 0 on my first BCIS test because of it. Left house at 6:50am that day and was at a dead stop in traffic for 20 minutes. I was technically late for class but the teacher allowed me in .

Still haven't found a job, had an interview with Radio Shack. But no good luck. Having to apply for unemployment. YAY! It really sucks, 0 jobs, 4 bills. I heard there's plenty of corners in Dallas still vacant and I am almost getting desperate, it would give me the chance to get some "experience" *wink wink*.

It sucks even more because I miscalculated some budget. I thought I could be good for at most 2 months but I'm already dwindling down to pennies. I just hope I don't fuck up my credit. I can't say I didn't see this coming. Everything was going too perfect in my life for way to long, shit had to happen. But it's okay because it'll all work out. Right? I mean come on. Right? RIGHT!

I'm not gonna lie, for awhile I was pretty down and depressed. I felt, not only did I lose the job that I put my heart and soul into, but I let everyone down. All the previous managers and other co-workers. Well you know what life goes on and once I get me a new job everything will be better then what it was at Butt Butt. Who knows? Maybe I'll get a job that pays like $1,000 a minute for me to sit on my butt all day and draw stick figures. Dude that would be awesome. Anyways I feel luck my luck will turn around soon. Maybe I should go buy a lottery ticket with my last dollar.

Haha myspace, you're a silly silly bastard.
Love,
Michael
XOXO

P.S.- Boxxy is cute and I want a snuggie. I don't give a flying shit what anyone else thinks, so fuck off!

P.P.S.- I was just kidding about the rudeness. I love each and every one of my readers to much to curse at them.

P.P.P.S.- What does "P.S." I have forgotten and don't wanna look it up.

NIGHT!

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know I'll be alright
Perhaps it's just imagination

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
It's time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation

At least there's pretty lights
And though there's little variation
It nullifies the night from overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Come back another day

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know I'll be alright
It's just overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away

You know what's funny? We're currently in the month of September. The last high school graduates graduated in May. That's 3 months ago. Yet the new college kids... sorry...SORRY EVERYBODY!... college "adults". They're adults now damn it! Anyway the new college freshmen are already saying "stupid high school kids" for some unknown reason. Wasn't it just 3 months ago you yourself were a "stupid high school kid" Mr. College Adult sir? Silly silly silliness.

Anyways I don't have much room to talk, I'm still considered a freshmen in college. And I still get upset at younger ass holes (who probably just got their licenses) when ever they come speeding down the high way cutting me off as if they're bad asses. And I may occasionally say "Darn you, you high school hooligan" when really I've only been out of high school myself for a little over 2 years. I just thought it funny is all. We say these things about others, yet we're hardly different from that of which were insulting or making fun of in the first place. So in a sense it's almost as if we haven't grown up at all. Whether it be 3 months, or 2 years.

Crazy, all the life lessons that I still need to be taught. All the realizations ahead for me to... realize . OOOH! Scrubs is on now. BYE!

So I played bingo with friends today right? Everything's cool, everything's great, except none of us won. I had to go to the car to get something and these 2 old ladies stopped to ask me about 1 of my friends. Apparently he looks like 1 of their nephews. They tell me he's cute and I'm sexy. So I run to the car cuz the awkward level is over 9000. On my way back 1 of the ladies is outside and stops me again. "Could I ask you a question without you getting mad" she asks. "Sure" I awkwardly reply. "Are you gay" she asks. First thought in my head is I should post this story on Fuckmylife.com some old lady thought I was gay and doesn't know anything about me. She has never seen me, never met me, or anything and she thinks I'm gay. Fuck my life. I start laughing and say no. And she continues to say that her friend thinks I'm gay. As we go in I have to pass where they were sitting to get to my seat. The lady that had asked me said to her friend "Nope he's not gay". The second lady stopped me again and said sorry and that I looked to handsome and innocent to be straight. What the fuck? That's all I can say is what the fuck. I take it back I could also say what the hell. Anyways yeah 2 old ladies thought I was gay fuck my life. LMAO

So it's been a week. I believe it's time I released what has happened to me. Well believe it or not I no longer work for Putt Putt. I know it's a big shocker to me too. But I was let go last Monday at 5P.M. along with my friend Emmanuel. I allowed a situation to occur that someone in my position shouldn't have. I did talk to 1 of Putt Putt's owners to see if the record could show that I resigned that way I can still use Putt Putt as a reference and he was fine with that. Later in the conversation he told me to call if I had any questions, I asked him if Putt Putt was hiring and he laughed, then told me he was glad I was taking it so well. It sucks and all, 1) that I spent 3 years of my life there devoting practically my soul to that place, 2) that was actually the 1st time I got in huge trouble, and 3) some people who I thought were my friends have now deleted me off their myspace and won't talk to me. On the bright side however, at least I won't end up like certain managers (no offense to them) and be there for 15 years. I can feel my soul coming back to me, today's project is getting rid of anything Putt Putt related (I.E. bonfire of Putt Putt shirts) This last week I was kind of in an emo phase. Depressed, finding myself, learning lessons, figuring out the future, etc. But I've finally snapped out of that phase and now I'm on my way to the future. Someone like me doesn't have time for depression, I'm to busy being an inspiration. Whatever job I get next I'll know not to devote my soul to that place, work is work, nothing else. If I keep that in mind then I'm sure it'll be much better. It angers me though to think back to times where I've worked passed the time I was supposed to get off, or I worked on 1 of my days off. How I would sometimes work instead of going on some awesome adventure with friends and yet they couldn't let 1 mess up go. Whatever I can be mad at the situation but I can't be mad at anyone else more then me.  So as I close the book of Putt Putt I remeber the wise words of a famous artist, "Just dance, it'll be ok". And you know what? I will dance and it will be ok! I will carry the lessons that Putt Putt has taught me.

On another note I started on a workout training program. Holy shit my body hurts so good. The videos are intense to the extreme. 45 minutes into it I started to blackout. I hardly had enough energy to get to the bed where then I did pass out for an hour. I awoke to a sharp pain where abs may at some point be located on my body. Argh! I have to do this for 90 days! Well stay tuned for the next adventures of the life of Michael.