Hello, I just thought I would link you to some new news about me and Joshua's lives. It is in the form of a photograph essay I wrote and Josh took the photos for.
Here is the link: http://www.maggie-ann.com/journal/2009/1/15/i-welcome-you.html

If you want to get to the point, scroll to the very end of the essay. But in all matters of fact, the essay itself isn't that long :)

Most Sincerely,
Maggie Ann.

Hello all, its been quite awhile. I’m sorry that I have left so many things open ended. Right now my internal being feels like a severed live wire, all sparks and loose wires. I’ve been dealing with some emotional wellness issues here lately. Up and down. And its been hard for me to get out of myself. I promise that I will write a coherent post soon. For now though, I came across this really fun game over at my bloggy friend Jinny’s place (which never ceases to inspire me). It has to do with film, a passion of mine, and I thought it would be a nice way to lighten things up and communicate with each other. Here goes:

Everyone loves movies and one thing we love from them are the great one liners!Let’s have some fun with them.Here are the rules:

1. Pick 10 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. No Googling or IMDb-ing. That’s cheating and that’s no fun.

Ok, so, here are my 10 movie quotes:

   

1. I kept      asking Clarence why our world seemed to be collapsing and things seemed to      be getting so shitty. And he’d say, "that’s the way it goes, but      don’t forget, it goes the other way too." That’s the way romance      is... Usually, that’s the way it goes, but every once in awhile, it goes      the other way too.
2. In a      sense, yes. My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which      bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.
3. She      keeps working to make connections, but the pile of near misses is starting      to overwhelm her. What Mirabelle needs is an omniscient voice to      illuminate and spotlight her and to inform everyone that this one has      value, this one standing behind the counter in the glove department and to      find her counterpart and bring him to her.
4. My      life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes. That’s a sentence I read once      and I say it over to comfort myself in these times that try the soul.      
5. -- You      set your heart too much on frivolous things and then crash down into      despair when you don’t get them.    -- I know. I can’t help flying up on the wings of anticipation.      It’s as glorious as soaring through a sunset... almost pays for the thud.
6. You      know, but that’s valid because if we are all gonna die anyway shouldn’t we      be enjoying ourselves now? You know, I’d like to quit thinking of the      present, like right now, as some minor insignificant preamble to something      else.
7. Get      some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some      peanut butter. Get some Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure      chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham      crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and      little chocolate bars and we can make s’mores, man. Also, celery, grape      jelly, Cap’n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two      big pizzas, man, everything on ’em, with water, whole lotta water, and      Funyons.
8. So      everything that doesn’t fit into some stupid idea of what you think God      wants you just try to hide or fix or get rid of? It’s just all too much to      live up to. No one fits in one hundred percent of the time. Not even you.
9. Should      I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new?      Well, I’ve been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly      speaking, I’ve come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.
10. You      know what’s wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You’re chicken, you’ve      got no guts. You’re afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay,      life’s a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other,      because that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness." You      call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you’re      terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you’re already      in that cage. You built it yourself. And it’s not bounded in the west by      Tulip, Texas, or in the east      by Somali-land. It’s wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you      just end up running into yourself.

So, there you have it. I have a feeling some of these are given, especially to those who know me quite well. But oh well, AND bonus, if no one get them all in like five days or something, I’ll post the list. Also, I would like to encourage any and all to play along in their own blogs, I love seeing what films people enjoy, and especially what quotes they love the most. Peace and happiness to you and yours, I’ll be seeing you soon!  

I know this isn't done, but i will leave it here, just to get it out there.

I feel it first in the pit of my stomach
That knot, as though someone took
A piece of string and strung it tight,
Between each side of that fleshy food sack
And then pulled, making a figure eight, or
a hourglass.
And in the middle all my fears, and anxieties,
All my hopes and dreams collide.
And embattle for my sanity.
Right now the fear is winning,
2to1 or some odds like that.
I've never really understood odds,
Or any of that logistical bullshit.
I've never really understood anything that I cannot feel.
And I've never been good at faking it.
I am what I feel, and I refuse to hide it.
I grieve with my face.
It pours from my pores, and people ask,
"What is the matter," and I can't find the words to say,
"I don't understand any of this, all of this.
None of it makes sense."
And perhaps I'm being vague,
But,

I feel things are wrong.
I feel sorrow of mothers who have lost their sons and daughters
To a war without feeling.
A war our government built,
with words to deceive us.
A war Mr. Bush has built to control us with fear,
And doubt and pious empty virtue.
We are not safe, and I feel that.

I feel things are wrong.
I feel the rage of a People who have been beaten,
A People who have been raped,
A People who have been robbed, by those
Who are meant to protect them.
I feel the injustice of three young men,
In West Memphis, who,
Because of their counterculture attitude,
Were profiled and convicted to a crime not their own.
I feel the injustice of the thousand of nameless faces
We will never know, who have shared this same fate—
Because they are poor, because they are different, because
America needs a scapegoats for the crimes its committed,
And we are really good at defiling the innocent.
I feel the despair of one person against millions.
We are guilty and I feel that.

I feel things are wrong.
I feel the fear of the thousand that are waking up,
To the truth of what is really going on,
And daily question, 'have we let this go to far?'
Are those freedoms we once held so dear,
Those freedoms, which founded our nation,
That have slipped through the hands of us--
Hard working Americans,
due to the greedy grease
Of the few elite.
Will those freedoms be reborn?
I feel the insecurity
Of one grain of truth among the chaff.
We are faltering and I feel that.

I feel things are wrong.
I feel the helplessness of knowing the truth.
The truth will set you free,
And yet I'm paralyzed by that truth,
Not even knowing where to start.
What life to save first.
There are so many lives, failing, and I am flailing,
Grasping at straws to maintain my sanity,
In the world gone mad.
I feel things are wrong,
And I get mad that others don't.
That they must ask, "what is the matter?"
And I want to scream—
"Look around, and tell me,
What isn't the matter?"

From: spinroi studios
Date: Feb 20, 2008 9:26 AM


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CNN and YouTube have teamed up to bring possibly the most creative political debate in presidential election history. Those who are acquainted with the internet and can find there way to YouTube.com have been invited to submit questions, via video, to prospective presidential candidates. According to YouTube 4927 videos have been submitted, that is over 2,000 more than were submitted for the democratic debate. The debate broadcasts live 8 p.m. to 10 p.m.ET (that is 7pm Missouri time :) on CNN, CNN International, CNN en Español, CNN Airport Network and CNN Radio and stream live on CNN.com. There are a plethora of opportunities to watch or listen to the debate so do it! Inform yourself, the future of our country is at hand.

All of my neighbors are all up in arms
About something they saw on TV.
Seems some politician got busted for something
That won't make any difference to me.
I'm sure it's all true, and I'm tired of this, too
But I can't pray for someone to fall.
Let all them people do what people do
I'm just happy to be here at all

I'm happy to be here to vote randomly
On who ought to take the next dive.
I'm eager to see what the downfall will be
And all the hilarity on Saturday Night Live.
You know, mostly it's all scandal TV these days.
That's where the real money must fall,
Down from the smog of some Hollywood haze
I'm just happy to be here at all.

I'm happy to be here
I'm happy to be
Happy

Just happy to be here to see how it goes
If everything blows into space
I've been walking my tennis shoes right through my toes
Trying to keep up with the rest of the race.
Mostly I stare out my window these days,
Watching my dog chase her ball
I'll do my job, whatever it pays,
I'm just happy to be here at all.

via Todd

i can't sleep. be it caffeine or other. i laid in bed for about an hour. listening to the air conditioner kick on and off, and the small fan blowing on our heads. thinking running thoughts about god only knows what-- wedding words love poetry pictures. jumbled. and agitating the scar that runs through my lower lip. chewing, nibbling, biting. i do that when i am nervous, or anxious, or stressed, or thoughtfull. its a built in security blanket, that i'll never lose.

i feel like a balloon. i work so hard to inflate myself and direct my flight only to be popped. i don't even understand right now what the point is of much of life. i feel numb, which right now is worse than feeling anything i believe. earlier i was on the verge of tears but i held it back. now i just feel like sobbing but i feel so stoic. i don't really understand how i can try so hard to make thinks work for everyone else and then when it comes to myself they just seem to go to shit. shouldn't i have some karmic reimbursement coming?
i'm sorry. i sound like such a whiny little wench. things are good in some aspects. i guess those areas are where the karma has been repaid... i don't. know.

crash.