HAPPY NEW CURE ALBUM DAY!!!

My God. I have waited four years for this day to come...FOUR YEARS! It's amazing the little things that can just make your day so perfect. The only thing that kind of sucked was having to wait to listen to it till after work. Seriously, the anticipation of it nearly drove me up a wall. But now I've already listened to it twice (I've already heard the singles a million times over though), and I knew it was going to be amazing...it's a freaking Cure album, of course it's going to win on epic proportions - hell, their 2004 album had to have been my least favorite of everything they've released, but it still kicked ass compared to most of the shit that's released these days. 4:13 Dream is definitely a step in the right direction following the self-titled album, but to be perfectly honest (I'm really not exaggerating), I think it could possibly be their best album in the last fifteen years...hell, it might be their best since Disintegration. No one can reinvent the musical perfection they created in the '80s, I don't even think they themselves can. Those albums are untouchable. But I really feel like after I listen to this one a few more times, I may possibly consider it slightly better than Wish or even Bloodflowers. I can't say for sure yet though, but damn, it rocks!

Some general thoughts I have of it so far:
1. Underneath the Stars: Great way to start the album. In the first couple minutes of it I'm already thinking, 'Yeah, this next hour is gonna be amazing.' I loved his voice each time he sang "And the waves break..."
2. The Only One: Not one of my absolute favorites. It was the first single released and I remember thinking, 'Please, don't let the whole album be just like this.' The song itself is great, but I wouldn't have wanted twelve others just like it. They would've never done that though. Robert's too moody and changing and never one-noted.
3. The Reasons Why: I loved this song. Lyrics were so strong and so insightful and dark: "In the silence for a second I am sure I hear them laughing then / I feel them calling me / Yeah they are calling me...
4. Freakshow: Haha, this song's awesome. It's fun, catchy, hilarious, bizarre...kinda reminds me of "Hot! Hot! Hot!" or maybe even "Why Can't I Be You?" Nice drums, too. Kudos, Jason C.
5. Sirensong: I liked the almost hurried, impatient feel to this song. It's only two minutes or so, but despite that rushed feel, it still has a sort of sweetness to it.
6. The Real Snow White: I liked how this one felt different to all the others and still was connected to them in some way. Lyrics were a bit odd at times and I'm not entirely sure what Robert was trying to express through them, but I still liked them and the guitar was awesome.
7. The Hungry Ghost: OMG, this song rocks. Definitely the best one on the whole freaking thing. I like it because it's got that classic Cure sound, and it really felt like a genuine revival of late '80s/early '90s classic alternative music...it didn't sound like a band today trying to write a song that sounded like that, it sounded like the actual thing.
8. Switch: It's almost ridiculous and surreal how well I can relate to this one. The lyrics spoke to me on numerous levels, and it's another example of how Robert really means what he's saying. It's not that annoying, fake, showy, pseudo-angst that plagues a lot of music these days. This is passionate and painful and so very real.
9. The Perfect Boy: Also a song I can relate to. I especially like how he expresses the perspective of both a man and a woman.
10. This. Here and Now. With You: Love the music, love the words, love his voice on it too. No complaints here.
11. Sleep When I'm Dead: This has to be my favorite of all the singles on the album. I love how abstract he was with some of the words he chose but still was able to get his point across so clearly.
12. The Scream: I thought it was awesome how he starts off singing an octave lower than usual and he's almost whispering the words, and while he's doing that I'm thinking to myself, 'Oh man, he's gonna start screaming soon, I just freaking know it.' Trust me, he does too. He sounds like a banshee at one point...not surprised by that though. I loved it. :)
13. It's Over: I thought of "The Kiss" from the Kiss Me album. Also some of the lyrics sounded like something from The Top...earlier, more experimental Cure: A nagging sense of shame I can't explain / An acrid taste of smoke and blood and tears and drugs / And every inch of me is raw / Yep, sounds like "Shake Dog Shake," which freaking rocks.

Other thoughts:
* 13 songs on their 13th studio release? Ah, they're so clever and cute like that. :]
* A couple negatives (nothing major, just some things I noticed): lack of keyboards and not much emphasis on bass. I love guitars, don't get me wrong. And Porl and Robert really know what they're doing (all the feedback was great and never felt overdone), but dude. Keyboards rock too! I know Roger's gone, but I still don't know why and I wish he was back. And honestly, some of the best Cure songs ever have the most awesome bass lines ("Other Voices," anyone?), and I sort of felt like at times I wasn't hearing as much of Simon as I would've liked.
* I loved how pretty much every song had the word "dream" in it somewhere. Nice.
* The Van Gogh quote in the sleeve was a beautiful addition: "For my part I know nothing with any certainty...but the sight of the stars makes me dream."

All in all I adored every minute of 4:13 Dream and I'm going to be listening to it constantly for a while. My thanks go out to the four guys for the great music and just for once again reminding me why they're still my favorite.

 

 

Paper thin and razor sharp,
Those fingers graze along the cloak
Of velvet longing, tearful softness,
Weeping buds of white and smoke.

A sense of past that keeps me lost;
'Tis rhythmically drug-like and deeply inclined -
A heart that is swelling, not heard and not seen:
'Tis mine, all mine - oh yes! - it's all mine.

Standing there, squealing and shaking, you're sick -
Of you, of such fear you must feel for me.
You should be afraid, for I am a dress
That's blue with a fire that longs to be free.

Thrive in the silence and writhe in the love.
I'm mobile, I'm faster, I'm thick and you're kind
And you're fair, but not wise and eternal with faith -
That's mine, all mine - oh yes! - that's all mine.

* Still untitled and probably incomplete as I know what I'd like to add to it.

Oh, and Carl McCoy? I love you. Really, I do. Wherever you are in this crazy world.

 

 

Okay, so most people who know me know how much of a movie buff I am, and I've seen enough to have attained a pretty critical eye for what I like and what I don't, and when any film really grabs my attention and resonates with me on a level deeper than most others, I can't help but feel compelled to share my thoughts.

*** WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION! ***

Yes, I'm talking about The Dark Knight - the one that everyone's talking about right now...which everyone really should be because it is simply that good. I think the last film I remember going to see in the theater a few times in the course of a couple of days was Stigmata, waaay back in '99. I went Friday night to see The Dark Knight, thinking that I'd probably see it maybe a couple of times in the next few months. I had a gut feeling that it would be at the very least a good film, but I decided beforehand to try to ignore most of the hype and decide for myself just how good it really was. I think I was also able to go into the theater with a critically fresh approach to it because Heath Ledger isn't one of my favorite actors and as tragic as his death really was (and it was very sad, I know), I honestly can't say I feel the loss that I would feel if it had been an actor like Gary Oldman or Tim Roth or something. Nothing against Ledger, I'm certainly not saying he was a bad actor (quite the opposite, actually), just not one of my favorites. And I suppose for the most part, even after seeing this film a few times now and enjoying it so much, I still can't say he's one of my favorite actors, but I can say with an extraordinary amount of confidence that this is by far one of my favorite individual performances by an actor, and his death seems even more unfortunate because now I see what he was capable of. He achieved something really spectacular with this role, and he exceeded all of my expectations and all that I wanted it to be, and trust me, that's hard to do because I can be picky as hell. I mean, it literally sent these overwhelming chills through me, and I often caught my heart completely racing and my eyes getting watery because it was so possessive, and THAT'S certainly not easy to do either. And I REALLY didn't think I'd be saying this, but I can't lie to myself and say that it didn't surpass Nicholson's Joker, because it did. I still love Nicholson just because it's kind of wild and over-the-top glamorous, and Burton did make a great film, but it was also very understood how much it was fantasy and surreal. It didn't have the dirtier qualities that appear all too often in real life; it was a movie with characters that could only exist in a movie. Ledger's Joker and The Dark Knight in its entirety was so effective in its story and message because while it still had all of the elements of a super-hero action movie, you were left with this incredible feeling that yes, this could actually happen, and yes, a person like the Joker could really exist. What was so terrifying and bone-chilling for me was the fact that despite his bizarre appearance and very obvious insanity, Ledger somehow managed to give the Joker this extraordinary amount of humanness. His completely twisted logic and his brutal approach on humanity, what makes a person who they really are, and what we all really deserve, make perfect sense in the strangest way imaginable. In some respect, he's kind of right about everything. He's got everyone figured out and really uses that to his advantage. And even though he essentially is the reason why everyone has to suffer in one way or another, he at the same time proves to us all that we're also very capable of monstrous behavior, cruelty, and selfishness. He certainly demonstrates this awesome power he has over Batman, because he makes Batman really question how much he's really helping the situation. That was also really effective because of Christian Bale's performance. I could really see the turmoil and torment that he expressed constantly through the entire film. Eckhart was excellent as well, I really liked how convincing he was at playing the just man brought down to a much more primal level from the Joker's corruption. Oldman was freakin' amazing, but he ALWAYS is...and yes, I did melt a little every time I saw him. :) And of course Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine filled their supporting roles to perfection. Maggie Gyllenhaal is worlds better than Katie Holmes, and she's very good despite the obvious limitations of her role. The ONLY thing I can possibly think of that could have had a chance of taking away from the film was the fact that the Joker's character was too strong. It's really supposed to be the story of Batman and his conflict with the Joker, but at times I sort of felt it was the other way around. Even when he wasn't on screen, my attention seemed to always be primarily focused on the Joker, what he had done and what he was going to do next, but honestly, that performance was so damn incredible that I really didn't mind. I loved so many things about his character: how terrifying he was, how real he appeared, his unsettling charm, his dark, perverse, and chaotic beauty, and his sickly charismatic persona, how in the most disturbing way I couldn't help but find him super sexy, and of course his VERY dark but fantastic sense of humour. I mean, seriously. Some of the stuff he says and does is freakin' hilarious.

So yeah, if you can't already deduce, I really liked this film and plan to see it many more times than I already have. Most of my favorite films don't happen to be super-hero/action ones, but this one is without a doubt one of the very best films to come out in at least the last ten years. In a lot of ways it reminds me of the original Star Wars trilogy in that it really transcends its genre. It's not your garden-variety, run-of-the-mill super-hero flick. Sure, it has all the flashy elements of those films (a sweet car chase, kick-ass fight scenes, and the pyrotechnics and explosions to satisfy all of your wildest cravings for violence on screen), but it has a hell of a lot more than that. It's intelligent commentary on the nature of humanity at its most basic yet most complex and fascinating levels, the different ways we all react in the face of adversity and evil in the world, what we're told is right and wrong and how that compares to what we really believe, how far we're willing to push ourselves in all aspects of our lives, and who we essentially are as individuals and as a collective.

I also find it funny reading a few critics' reviews that said it wasn't nearly as good as everyone else is saying it is. I've read maybe three reviews like that, and it's just funny to me that these people are willing to say it wasn't great just so they don't come across like they're just jumping on the Batman bandwagon, as if their standards are so high and almighty that nothing can please them. Come on, if it's good, it's good. Don't be afraid to say it just because everyone else is. I can be pretty picky and I do love a lot of films made outside of Hollywood, but I'm not going to say that something's not amazing just because it's a blockbuster. That's why I don't like critics in general. They say they don't like action movies because they're not dramatic and artistic enough for them, but when an action film DOES happen to be more than just action, they don't like it because according to them, these films shouldn't take themselves so seriously. Just lighten up and try watching a movie just for fun for a change.

God damn, it's a freakin' brilliant film. Go see it right now.

 

http://youtube.com/watch?v=SSQv_Ynomoo <- YEEEAH.

 

 

I know it's been about a week since (hard to believe), but seeing The Cure again is still playing pretty heavy on my mind. It truly was a beautiful evening. No, not just that. It was immaculate, flawless, spotless, nostalgic, everything I could have expected it to be. In that sense it was just like how I felt seeing them four years ago. I've never before felt like I belong somewhere more than I belonged there, and I don't mean that in the misunderstood, angsty teenager sort of way. I'm talking about something that lies on a much deeper and more spiritual plane. Both of these concerts have been the two moments of my life thus far where I have experienced a complete and absolute and very genuine belonging. There have been times where I have had some sort of sense of fitting somewhere, but this was so different it was noticeable. As far as the details of the night, I caught about half of 65 Days of Static's set, which was about fourty minutes in its entirety. I've heard a few songs of theirs before and they're pretty good, and I liked their sound live a lot. I don't think they'd make great headliners, but they were a fantastic choice for the Cure's opening act. The Cure played for about three hours with a couple of encores that were rockin' good. They opened with "Open" (they're so clever) and filtered immediately into "Fascination Street," which was awesome. They played a lot of songs that I think sound really good live too, like "Push," "A Night Like This," "From The Edge Of The Deep Green Sea," "One Hundred Years," to name a few. Super cool to hear lots of Head On The Door stuff; "Kyoto Song" was one of the highlights of the night for me. The encores were really the best part of the evening, though. Lots of earlier music (think pre-KMKMKM) that they performed so gracefully that I almost forgot that most of that music is over two decades old. The crowd was loving it too, dancing and singing and just getting in the moment. Best songs I thought were "Boys Don't Cry," "Fire In Cairo," "Grinding Halt," "10:15 Saturday Night," and "Play For Today." "A Forest" was AMAZING! Songs I would've liked to have heard: "Faith" (that was their closer in 2004, sent chills through me), "Lovecats," "39," "Other Voices," (one of my faves of theirs, and they haven't played it either time I've seen them, so I'm still waiting for that), and maybe some B-Sides like "Harold and Joe" or "Play." "Do The Hansa" would've been cool too. They played some new stuff too, which I thought sounded great, but wasn't the highlight of the evening for me. I had heard a few of them only a few times so far. Robert was a bit more talkative and energetic on stage this time around. He cracked a couple of jokes and moved around a bit more than I expected, but he still maintained that brooding subtlety and intense, enigmatic presence that I love so much about him. Simon...he was bloody gorgeous and made me weak in the knees. :) My seats were pretty good too (lower level, ten or so rows back), so I could see them all really well, and Simon was making me freak out a little because he looked so amazing. Even though I'm more fond of Boris Williams, I thought Jason was great and loved seeing him again. And yay, I got to see Porl this time! Finally! He and Bob did some really amazing things with the guitars and achieved some pretty cool sounds and effects with whatever equipment they had on stage. Another thing that I liked about this show was after the second encore, instead of just saying thank you and leaving the stage like they did at Blossom in '04, Robert said thank you and stayed out and walked all across the stage, at moments stopping to look out at us and give us an awkward but very sweet half-smile, half-bow kind of thing. He really said so much by doing that. I could tell just from that how much his music means to him, how much it means for him to share it with us, and how much it means to him that we love it so much. I think that, alone, made this the best concert I've ever been to. So, once again, I offer my never-ending gratitude and love for Robert & Co. for blessing me with yet again another unforgettable memory.

 

http://youtube.com/watch?v=SZ3F6Bnp9-A <- I didn't film this, just lucky to find that someone did and posted it on YT. "A Forest," one of the best moments of the night.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=j6yGpHmLVjM <- Really can't go wrong with "Lullaby". Check out 3:35-3:43. I LOVED seeing Rob start to really get into it and boogie a little. :)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=RkukMIDmVKU <- Didn't film this either...I wasn't THIS close, unfortunately. But this is "Fire In Cairo," and the audio's not great but it's nice and up close. Yes, behold the hair. Bask in its glory, let it consume you.

 

 

So today I was watching some old NewsRadio episodes (and loving every minute of it) when I realized that about a week ago was the ten-year anniversary of Phil Hartman's death. Needless to say I had a good cry over it and just thinking about it makes me miss the guy even more. Aside from maybe Dana Carvey or Jon Lovitz, he was the best person ever on SNL, he made NewsRadio the comic jewel that it is, and was simply one of the funniest and greatest people ever. I'm totally not exaggerating - he was freakin' awesome, and it's just not right that he's gone. So, here's some NR stuff in memory of him and his greatness...and the show, of course.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9PAcrzYTpw <- NR bloopers from Season 4. The bit with Lovitz is the best. "Gee, can I get 5% off my initial purchase?" "Gee, could you pick up your fucking cues?" LOL!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JpwjnMFlJI <- AHAHAHAHAHA! Classic NewsRadio moment. Seriously one of the best damn shows ever on television. Sometimes I've randomly said "Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor DAMN!" to someone and I love it when the person knows what I'm talking about. XD


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xO7EFfdX8Rs <- More NR greatness. First episode I ever saw, actually. I love when they just freak out and blow up in Matthew's face. XD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ag5rULU_PgM&feature=related <- From the first episode from Season 5 after Phil was killed. This is what really makes me cry. I wouldn't even put this here because it's so terribly sad because of what happened and because the cast was so clearly devastated (and I don't want to just keep crying over it), but I do think it really shows the wonderful comedian and person that he was, and how much he meant to them and all of us who loved what he did.

On a serious movie kick right now...yeah, I know I always am, but...well, you know. I've watched about twelve in the last three days. Watching a lot of Christian Slater too. I've always liked his acting but I've never really fully appreciated how good he is till now. I know I'm pretty much just asking to be bloody stereotyped. I don't do it consciously. My favorite actors just happen to all be those who are, oh, how shall we say it...no strangers to the dark side.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w94dZtKXaaE <- OH BLOODY HELL. 'Tis no jest when I say that this is REALLY one of the best films ever made, and this is by far the best scene. Christopher Walken's part is amazing, Samuel L. Jackson's great, and I love Slater and Arquette together. But Gary Oldman's what makes True Romance as memorable as it is. His performance is all-consuming and oppressively convincing, and in about ten minutes of screen time he unleashes this energy of spiritual dominance and suspense (I've seen it a million times and each time I see Drexl I almost feel uncertain or fearful he might do something different, it's so unpredictable) that can't help but fuel the rest of the film and make it the brilliant piece of art that it ultimately is. I'm not exaggerating, I'm not saying this just because I love the guy; other people would tell you the same thing. Just watch it. I will say that if you're sensitive to graphic violence and language you may want to proceed with caution. Oh, and the Nymphomania song? Brilliant. Bloody brilliant.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXTj5nd2oKQ <- I grew up loving Robin Hood: PoT. Even after watching so many different films over the years and growing very picky and critical of what I like and don't like, I honestly can't find a single thing wrong with this. I guess that Costner's accent (or lack thereof, you could say) at times makes the film a little disjointed, but his and everyone's performances are so good it's neither very noticeable or bothersome.

I find myself growing more and more singular each and every day I live. I sometimes feel I've been cursed with a most peculiar solitude and spiritual isolation from mankind itself, and yet it isn't a curse at all. I love the wisdom, the art, the passion of being always alone and never belonging. I suppose it aids me in remaining surer of myself. The taintedness and cruelty of too much human company can never satisfy me in the way that my own singularity of self will always be able to. I pity those who cannot or will not hold a most substantial frame of mind and spirit more dear to them than their physical connections to this world, their eagerness to sin, to make the same mistakes again and again with no intentions of stepping back and examining why they keep making them in the first place. I see it every day: so many people giving all of their energy, the entirety of their thoughts to making certain that everyone else knows who they are, living in a constant need to prove their worth and wisdom to others, so quick to judge others and so slow to look within. How sad it makes me that one can be so insecure, so uncomfortable with one's self. Nothing tangible is ever certain in life - not in mine, and not in yours. But there is one thing of which I will always be certain: I know who I am. You cannot change me. I will never sway from my character, my beliefs, what I know is right. I will live my life with a clear conscience, fully aware that neither you nor I nor anyone else can escape karma. I will strive to be selfless, steadfast, and strong. I will always believe in something higher than myself, and I will never be afraid of being alone.

 

 

 

I get to see The Cure again...WOW. I can’t even begin to describe how that makes me feel. More than anything I would say I feel very blessed. That may sound silly to some but it’s just how I feel. It was a blessing to see them before (it was a surreal experience, as well as a strangely sacred and spiritual one), and I guess I felt like that because I really thought I’d never get to see them again. Now I get to and I’m just filled with this wild emotion that’s both grateful and bizarre. I don’t know, this all probably sounds a little absurd, but their music played such an obvious and pivotal and significant role in the development of my maturity, my wisdom, my passions and interests in life, my spirituality, my perceptions of this world and what I hold most dear...the development and growth of me and who I actually am, basically, not just how others and I perceive who I am. They (along with other things, of course) were a big part of all that. So yes, 18 June can’t come soon enough for me. :)

And as far as this is concerned:
CLICK!
^ I won’t deny that I found this at the very least a bit disheartening (I came THIS close to shedding a few tears, let me tell you), but honestly, I won’t believe it until I see it. Robert’s a brilliant artist and a smart person, and I just have a lot of difficulty believing he’d even consider collaborating with someone like Ashlee Simpson. I was really curious so I researched it a bit more, and I found some places that say he flat out denies any collaboration is taking or has taken place. A Chain of Flowers said that and they’re the freakin’ best, so I’m not gonna freak out just quite yet. And even if it does freakin’ happen, oh well. I love Robert, I’ll get over it. :)

Just because I’m SOOOO excited:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=NV19InMqicI <--- I LOVE this acoustic version of "Friday I’m In Love." Their happy (or nearly happy) songs always make me feel so warm and fuzzy and giddy. Nice to see Boris in there too. :)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=E_nSETaWNzY&feature=related <--- Yay, Fascination Street! One of my fave songs by them...video’s great, too. Porl looks extra awesome from about 2:24 to 2:31 (not sure why, he just does), and I really want Simon’s hat. :)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=mbFD0xQtjS4&feature=related <--- I will NEVER, for as long as I live, forget the first time I listened to Disintegration, and how it opens with "Plainsong" and my reaction to it...if I had been standing at the time it would have brought me to my knees. God...it still sends shivers through me. This is from Trilogy too, in Berlin. I REALLY love 2:08 to 2:14, wow. So powerful.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=i-ll36koaeY <--- Aw, I love "Faith." One of their best sad songs. From In Orange, this is probably the best live version of the song I’ve ever heard...although when I saw them in ’04 they did a pretty amazing performance of it too. And OMG Simon’s hair! Gorgeous...geez, I just wanna take a bite out of him. :)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hpxIgYv9SCM <--- Whoever made this obviously loves Simon as much as I do. Aside from being one of the most gorgeous and beautiful men I’ve ever laid eyes on, he’s a brilliant and (unfortunately) overlooked talent. And 5:35 is sooo hot. :)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=wIvdicEo7II <--- Early Cure, but VERY VERY good Cure. So good that if I ever had to choose a song by them that was their very best, I’d probably pick "Other Voices." The entire Faith album is just amazing and so eerily subdued and intense in the way that this video is. The lighting, the camera work, the expression...it’s all brilliant, I tell you. And that bass line....

 

As frustrated as I am with things in my life right now, as unhappy as I may feel now, as much as I despise myself right now.....despite all that, this vacation is one I really need and I'm going to milk it for all it's worth so that once it's over, I can come back home and get off on the right foot again.

 

 

For some reason I'm really enjoying probing this piece of writing I've started, so I've been adding, refining, polishing, delving...you know, all the stuff that's fun to do when I write. It's a couple of stanzas longer than this, but I'm only now sharing the ones I'm pretty positive I'm going to keep. I think I have a title for it, but that's still under construction, as well.
 
Mort c'est amour
Find me in a dark recession -
Cultivating, purer still;
In a thicket, grey and withered,
In a womb of risen madness -
Wind unwind a deeper quill.
 
We are sad and bathing richly
In the sadness of a wife,
In the manger of a marriage -
One that, brooding, breeds a love;
One that, binding, brings a life.
 
In his wake I shall be newer -
Lost within and lost without.
Silence bears a brittle fortune
Through the minds that move in wisdom;
Through the care of self and doubt.
- Channyn E. Holvey-Bates 2008 * Very Incomplete *