its good to have friends. even when you don't want them around and don't feel like  saying one word about anything, anything at all...it's good to have them. they know. they know when to talk and when to listen and when to tell you to stop being such a stupid hard-on and get off your ass and do it!. they know. you may want to punch them in the face, and they probably would let you, because they are good friends. in this world me first and bullshit sandwhiches, you need good friends to have your back and push you thru. hang onto them, you'll need 'em!

i have past a point in my life now where i don't let myself get let down by people. maybe this is good. maybe this is bad. haven't really figured that out yet. but either way, for right now, at this very second, i am fine with it. maybe i'm growing up, but i doubt it. maybe it's 2:55am and i just need some sleep.

i found out earlier today that a dude at my work electrocuted himself in his basement today and died. it's pretty fucked up sounding, as i'm sure you would gather. i didn't really know the guy. he was very quiet and keep to himself. i noticed he would dye his hair every once in while, frost it orange, for whatever reason. never sat in a meeting with him. never worked on any projects with him. never really spoke a word to him, besides the typical work nod when you pass someone in the hall. no talks at the urinel. no, 'Fuck dude, thank god its fuckin' friday!'..none of that. i'm sure his family is having a tough time. i don't even know if he has any family, actually. i kind of feel like a jerk for never saying hi to the guy, but thats easy to say now, because i'll never see him again.  rip paul martin

i dont get my knee. somedays it works like a charm. some days its a complete bastard. some days i cant even walk down the three flights of stairs to get out of my house without having to hop down them all like i'm a recent amputee victim. i could be sitting there watching the mighty boosh and say i decide to get up to go take a piss. so i make the slightest move and my knee feels like it has just been run over by a mack truck. i have never been run over by a mack truck  but i imagine that shit would feel fukin horrible. i once witnessed my next door neighbor get run over by a car her own sister was 'driving'. her sister wasn't really driving it, but pretending to and took the car out of park. we were all playing catch or something in the street when the car started moving backwards. her sister heather tried to stop the car from heading into the street and eventually it ran over her. it was, to say the least, fucking bizarre. we all had to be 8-10 years old. everyone started screaming bloddy murder and went to get their parents. i remember the dads of the neighborhood all of a sudden getting hulkamania strength and lifting the car off of heather. everyone clapped and she ended up being ok.
.....................maybe i should stop whining about my knee. i mean it could be worse. i'm sure heather would call me a wuss and tell me to suck it up.
the end.

i woke up and no-one told me that i had 4 deliveries that were getting cold just sitting on my kitchen table. the soup was cold and pizza's were getting cold and i had no idea where my car keys were. i found them and then went outside and had no idea where my car was...? WTF? then i woke up and realized i haven't delivered pizza for at least 4 years and i don't live in charlotte anymore. Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

Avail. good band. great band, actually. some of you know this, some of you don't. which is fine. their live shows are pretty amazing. probablly just as good as an AC/DC show back in 1980. then again i was 3 then so it probablly would have just looked like a bunch of lights flashing to me then.
 Avail. they played in boston wednesday night. I was pretty good-god-damn'd determined to make it to this show. Woz bought a ticket for me the day after they went on sale. how the hell could i not go,...right? plus i was bragging to everyone the two weeks before how i was going to make the 7 hour drive one way wednesday and be back in time for class thursday morning. it was so ON. i could do this. no sweat. i mean, c'mon,.. i'm 30... not 31!! so there was no doubt in my mind.
 from my pics, you can see that i actually went to the show. and it ruled. good times. great times actually. sang every good damn word as if it were my last. danced to the point that i couldn't sweat anymore. thats the way every show should be. thanks woz-o and mark and shaula.

canada.

so we decide to travel to canada today. ryan, trevor and myself. I have a weird feeling about it, but whatever. we all meet up at the warehouse. we procrastinate. i start playing' whip pitch' with myself, which doesn't make sense since its a 2-4 person kind of game... so i'm really just throwing a tennis ball straight up in the air and then smacking the shit out of it with an aluminum bat. man, i miss playing ball. i don't even think i have a mit anymore. i have moved and 'streamlined' all of my shit so many times that, fuck, it could be back in Amherst for all i fucking know. it felt good just to swing the bat and launch those dead tennis balls.
we mount up and head north. its the usual catching up talk, which is actually what makes this trip and all the other trips with close friends worth while. not the riding, not where we go. but mainly just the 'shooting the shit'. its something that we always did when ever we rode and travelled. and its what keeps us going. we get to canada. the park was interesting. fun to mess arround on. we are there for maybe an hour, then decide to leave. we knew it would be awhile just because traffic was backed up like a mug in fort erie. ryan thinks it will take 45 mins...i say an hour. trevor is in nap land. the border is ridiculous. every one is in a hurry and trying to get there first and its just a mess. it takes about 45 mins, so ryan was right. we get to the border patrol and he asked where we were. it was at that point that i realized that i had no idea where the fuck we were. we went down the QEW and got off at Mcloud road at the YMCA.....so thats what i told him. i had no idea what town.  which i guess seemed shady, plus teh fact we have 3 bikes  strapped to the back of my car, just about ready to fall off. so they pull us over and tell us to wait. we have to go to a room with everyone else that gets their car searched or whatever. at this point all i can think of is if i have any unpaid parking tickets or any stupid things like that. so i get nervous. plus trevor and i look like Hell on Earth Hesh' twins with our black t-shirt get up and his manson family values beard. ends up they just wanted to check the trunk to see if we had any drugs or illegal aliens. which we didn't. then we get to buffalo to see what the hell is going on in the city, besides trucks having their own special 'Puerto Rican Day' parade. the city is alot more scummy then i remember. i used to come up here all the time in the 90's when i dated a girl back in high school. it seemed way more interesting then. maybe i'm just jaded on the city. maybe i'm just older and less scummy. maybe i just appreciate rochester more. anyways, we get to Sunday and its closed. so we say fuck it and eat some shitty Elmwood tacos and drive home. so, basically, the whole trip was a waste, except for the shit shootin'. we all conclude this and decide to never go back to canada again. We get to the warehouse and a hobo rides his bike past me and says,.. 'Say Hello to Flouise' for Me?' I don't know a Flouise. Neither does Trevor. The End.