Ok, remember this song from Run DMC? Well that was how my date was last night. We met in a pub in Soho. The date started out with promise, but then he kept talking. And kept talking. And kept talking – about himself! He hardly ever asked anything about me. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. So since I couldn’t talk, I drank, and drank and drank. And the next thing you know I’m drunk and really hungry. He still has a full pint of Leffe. He’s hardly drinking his beer because that would mean he’d have to STOP TALKING.

I finally had to grab the bull by the horns and say, "Drink up! I’m hungry!" I’m sure this made me sound like Miss Bossy Boots, but I did not want to drink anymore alcohol on an empty stomach.

While walking to a restaurant I kept thinking, "Why am I still on this date?" But the hope of a free meal kept me going.

Mr.Talk Too Much just got out of a relationship. He works in IT. He misses his old flatmate. Most of his friends and family are getting married. All of this information is good to know, however the amount of pointless shit that I had to sit through to get this was incredible!

By the end of the date, I was positive that he wasn’t interested in me. In fact, I think he’s really only interested in himself. As we said goodbye at Piccadilly Circus he asked what I was doing over the weekend. That was the first question he asked me all night.

"Nothing planned yet. Doing some revision. Hanging out with Doggums. Re-writing my book."

"Well, if you want to do something on Sunday, let me know."

Hmmmmm now how do I interpret that? Is he actually interested in going out with me again? Or is he saying that because it’s the polite thing to say at the end of a date?

I’ve noticed a trend in dating. Guys try to line up a second date at the end of the first one. Now that would be cool, if the second date actually came to fruition, but since it hasn’t most of the time with me, I’m wondering if it’s a throw-way line. Or the modern-day equivalent to, "I’ll call you."

I got a text from him while I was traveling home on the DLR. He thanked me for a lovely evening. So maybe he’s interested, maybe he isn’t. Who knows. We’ll see how this goes…

Yay! Finally I was able to get a second date. I was starting to think that there was something wrong with me. I’m a serial first dater. Even if the first dates go really well sometimes I just don’t hear from the guy again. What gives?

So even though I didn’t exactly have chemistry with Badly Styled and Boring, he had something none of the other guys had – reliability! He called when he said he was going to call. He never cancelled dates. He wasn’t flakey. And I’ll probably go out on a third date with him for the same reasons

Now, I know reliability is something I usually look for in a washing machine or possibly a tea kettle, however, the more guys I that date, the more I realize that reliability is an essential criteria.

I don’t want a guy who keeps me waiting by the phone (although I should point out that ’waiting by the phone’ figurative, as I have been far too busy to do that). I don’t want a guy who keeps me guessing whether or not he’s going to ask me out again. I don’t want a guy to ’forget’ that he’s made a date with me.

Do I sound like a horrible bitch for wanting a guy to follow up on his word? Are my expectations out of line?

I went out with Badly Styled and Boring again because he had the balls to ask me out again. He had the gumption to follow through. Who dares wins.

We went to posh Chinese restaurant. Excellent meal. We talked about lighthearted things over dinner. At the end of the date when we kissed, he put his hand on my breast. Can you believe I actually moved his hand away as if I were some prude?!? He’s really a nice guy, but there are no stomach flips. No butterflies. No weak-at-the-knee action.

As pondered by the girls from Sex in the City:

SAMANTHA
I totally understand. You’re not getting the stomach flip.

MIRANDA
Which is really just a fear of losing the guy.

CARRIE
Maybe I’m just not used to being with someone who doesn’t do the ever-seductive withholding dance

MIRANDA
But there is an upside to being with a guy with no surprises. Steve is completely predictable but that’s one of the things I love about him. He’s just so comfortable and safe.

CARRIE
Are you dating a man or a minivan?

I wish I had the answer to that one.

All interviewed in our latest podcast:







Natasha Bedingfield, Simon Webb, Lethal Bizzle, Adam Curry, the Rakes, Charlie (Big Brother 8), Lil' Chris

Wanda and I also chat about: Lesbians, Breast, Enlargements and the Digital Music Awards

http://www.NaiveLondonGirl.com

Mucky Sarah interviews Natasha Bedingfield

Wanda and I had a fun night last night at the Digital Music Awards. We'll chat about that in our next podcast. Pictured above are Natasha Bedingfield (top) and Simon Webb. Natasha was sweet and Simon couldn't be nicer.


Mucky Sarah interviews Simon Webb

More stars and interviews coming soon...

WANDA: I was at work-

ANJ: Back in the days where you had to work-

WANDA: and we broadcast [the] Playboy [channel] and it was like 1 in
the morning and I was watching this story unfold. I was sat in the
transmission suite alone and I came.

ANJ: OH MY GOD!

WANDA: And I thought, "Is this unprofessional?"

Wanna hear more? Check out our podcast:

http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=209328257

http://www.pluggd.com/channel/show/jinx_the_minx

NaiveLondonGirl.com

Wanda: So have you called him, Mick the Irish?

Mucky Sarah: No, and you wanna know why?

Wanda: Cuz he's a labourer and you'e a snob?

Mucky Sarah: Cuz on day four in the hospital they changed my sheets and my phone was in the sheets. And my phone got washed down the drain.

Wanda: Oh no, so you've lost his number!

Mucky Sarah: Yeah.

Wanda: You know when you say that thing, "Why hasn't that guy called me?" And we think 'oh because he doesn't like us' Sometimes it's because they've got some dreadful infectious disease and when they're changing the sheets his phone got washed away." You never think that! You just think, 'he didn't like me!'

Subscribe to us on iTunes

NEW PODCAST: SEX AND EDITH PIAF
with special Joseph (in the Bracknell)

In this podcast Joe and I talk about:

- Back to the old house. Getting over a relationship
- Men who don't like blowjobs (they're crazy , right?)
- Why men cheat
- Open relationships
- Oreos and Coconuts (not the kind you eat!)
- Edith Piaf in a word: lush
- Massages with "happy endings"


iTunes:
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=209328257

Pluggd:
http://www.pluggd.com/channel/show/jinx_the_minx

NLG:
http://www.naivelondongirl.com/2007/07/sex-and-edith-piaf.html

A NIGHT OF LAUHGING AND WANKING

We want to see all of you there. The ladies and the men:

Wednesday July 11, 2007

Miss Anjelika Jinx AKA "Mucky Sarah" and Wanda Keenan invite you to their laugh out loud sexual comedy Naive London Girls based off their true American-Anglo sexual adventures.

Testimonials

"I listened to your podcast the other day and I've never wanted to laugh so much and wank at the same time." - Podcast subscriber K.A.

"I have been traveling so much with work that I downloaded some of your podcasts and listened to them on the plane.. I was sitting next to one of my staff on the plane while listening to them and I got the biggest hardon." - Podcast subscriber, GA

The Wheatsheaf
25 Rathbone Place
(near Charlotte Street & Tottenham Court Road)
London
W1T 1JB

and we might ever perform part 2 of "Net Sex with Mucky Sarah and Iain."

Tickets are just £5 but there is limited seating. First come first serve.

8:30 PM
The Wheatsheaf Pub
25 Rathbone Place
London, W1T 1JB
(Just off Charlotte Street near Tottenham Court Road)

They say it's an honour just to be nominated. Well, I would really, really like that honour. The 2007 Podcast awards are here and Wanda and I would love to be one of the nominees. But in order to be a nominee, we need to be nominated.

If you like our podcasts we would appreciate if you would please nominate us for the People's Choice category and the Health / Fitness category.

http://podcastawards.com/index.php?option=nominate

Podcast name:
Naive London Girl + Wanda

Podcast url
http://naivelondongirl.hipcast.com/rss/jinx_the_minx.xml

Back to the Old House

It's strange how the simplest of things can affect you in a weird way. I feel somewhat traumatized by something that happened a few days ago that should be relatively minor.

On Tuesday I had job interview across the road from the a friend's house. I called him after the interview – since I was in the neighborhood – and asked it he wanted to go for lunch. Since he was working from home that day, he agreed.

"Come on over to the house" he said.

Since I was only across the road it took me about thirty seconds to get to his place. There's something creepy and stalkerish about arriving at someone's house faster than they can hang up the phone. So I stood at his door and waited. I applied some lipstick and waited some more. After standing at his door for what seemed like an eternity (Actual time: two minutes) I rang the doorbell. I realized that was the first time I'd been to his house since last year we ended our relationship – or whatever you call it. It never really had the legs of a full-fledged relationship.

He opened the door to let me in and I just wanted to turn around and walk out. It felt too creepy. It felt wrong. I was now in another woman's domain. I could sense it. And even though she wasn't there everything in the air, in the walls, in the atmosphere oozed her. She wasn't there physically, but her presence was everywhere.

My friend and I greeted each other in the vestibule of his house. The last time I stood in that very spot was after a horrible date we had. The sad details aren't important, but I do remember standing in that spot feeling full of hope because moments before he said, "I really want to work things out with you Anjelika."

I averted my eyes to the kitchen. I focused immediately on the kitchen table; the table we fucked on. He looks at that table and just sees a glass top. I look at the table and think about the night he lifted me up onto the table, pushed up my skirt, pulled down panties and ate me out. I came so hard. His tongue was amazing. How many dinners has he had on that table since then?

Everything in that house reminded me of 'us.'

The stairs up to his lounge: He used to finger me as I walked up the stairs.
The sofa I sat on in the lounge: New from Muji last year we broke it in hours after its arrival.

The lounge chair he sat in: I remember giving him head in that chair and snowballing afterwards. There's something electric about swapping cum from my mouth to his.

His whole house was peppered in bittersweet memories and I suddenly felt confronted with feelings I didn't want to deal with. Not then, not at that moment. We only spent a few minutes in the house before leaving. After we exited he immediately made a phone call. For the next twenty minutes while walking to the restaurant waiting for him to end the call, all I could think about was being in that house. I wasn't ready for the onslaught of feelings.

Even though we were walking together I felt very alone dealing with those feelings. It put me in a rather melancholy mood for the rest of the day. But what can you do?

I preserve.

And move on.