so i'm in Chicago after my trip to Boston and New Hampshire.... it was a good trip... i met everyone but my brother Brad, who happens to be a fucking hermit... bastard can't leave his apartment for 2 lousy hours to meet his long lost sister!! then he shows up 2 days after i leave and asks Cathy to tell me he's sorry?! i don't think so!!! he needs to call me himself and tell me... all he has to do is ask Cathy for the number... he has a cell phone for long distance calls... i'm gonna have to tell Cathy to have him call me.

and whats with people trying to get in touch with me from Los Angeles?? i left that place behind a loooooooong time ago for a damn good reason... the stress of living there, alone and so far from my family, was killing me!! i got out alive and was happy to cut ties with the people i knew there... the only person i kept in touch with is my friend Carla... she never screwed me over like some people did....

sorry, just needed to rant a bit. thanks for listening!

so i leave for Boston tomorrow to meet my birth-mom, 2 of my brothers and my sister... God, am i nervous... and excited... i need to call my brother soon... it's almost 6:30 there and i haven't talked to him yet...

my birth-mom Cathy moved from Florida to New Hampshire 2 days ago... her now ex-girlfriend beat her up in a drunken rage, so she left her... i'm really glad i don't have to try to talk her out of going back to Florida, because i would have had to try... this way we can just concentrate on getting to know one another... i can't wait for the flight to be over... i hate to fly, but my car never would have made the trip there and back... bummer huh? anyway, i just thought i would update my blog... see you when i get back!

god i am so bored... i was talking to my birth mom a little while ago and finalizing my plans to go to Boston... i'm really excited about this... i finally get to settle this in my mind... i will know my family (except my dad, and i'm looking for him).... anybody here know a Mike Sutton that lives in Illinois? Graduated from Barrington High School in 1971 or 1972? younger brother may be Scott Sutton?? if you do, send me a message lol...

so today i finally got in touch with my best friend after months of trying... her son is now 2 years old and being a brat lol, and i guess a lot of stuff has happened in the last two months for her... she said a lot of drama has gone down where she lives... i don't know what it was yet but i find out tonight, hopefully....

i had a biopsy done on a lump on my shoulder... i find out wednesday if it's cancerous... and i found a lump in my right breast... it scares me so much i'm putting off going to the doctor about it... not the smartest thing to do i know... but then, who wants someone sticking a needle in their breast or cutting into it with a knife??  i'm going to see the doctor after memorial day... then we'll see what it is...

i have a job interview tomorrow... the job is pulling and packing orders in a warehouse for Dick Blick... i hope i get it... i really think it might be a fun job that i'll want to keep for a while.... and i really need something to do with my time... i get so bored sitting around doing nothing all the time... and i could really use the extra money.

that's it for now... wish me luck

God I'm bored!!! i've been on this computer all day waiting for a friend to get online but he obviously isn't going to do it.... especially  considering it is now 4am where he is at.... grrrrrrrrrr .... i really wanted to talk to him.... i really like talking to him and i miss him ..... oh well

i'm once again very lonely... i don't know what to do... the only people who show an interest in me in this town are either too old or freaks of nature.... what should i do?

i met this guy online tonight named Leo... he's Chiliean, cute, and he has a sexy voice.... if only, if only.... if only i wasn't staying with my folks, if only i had the guts to sneak out... oh well... we talked for a while on the phone... he was nice.... i'm so lonely... i wish i had a boyfriend... you know, someone to go to the movies with on the weekends, someone to go out to eat with, shit like that.... at this point i'd go for a fling you know? i'm really not seeing anyone in galesburg that i'm remotely attracted too... or anyone thats available for that matter... every guy i know is either taken or doesn't want to get involved with anybody....  it sucks!  i hate being alone and yet i hate to lose my freedom too.... but then, it's not like i'm gonna have a kid or anything, i just want a playmate.... thats what condoms and birth control are for you know?  anyway... just wanted to rant a bit.... gnight

today is my first day home after Las Vegas.... i was so tired when i got to my parents house yesterday that i fell asleep and slept for 14 hours straight! i didn't win a jackpot but i still had a lot of fun... Mamma Mia was an excellent show... tomorrow i drive back to good old galesburg....

the wedding was really cool! it was at the Viva Las Vegas wedding chapel and was a Beatles theme... very cool ... my cousin kelly rode in a pink Cadillac and Gavin, her husband, was dancing with her through the wedding.  the reception was at the Bellagio buffet and it must have cost a fortune... i loved my time in Vegas and i hope to go again someday.... that's all for now

tomorrow i'm off to fabulous Las Vegas!!!   it should be a blast... i'm going for my cousin's wedding... wish me luck on winning a jackpot... i'm going to see mamma mia too... it should be fun... although i really can't stand it when i get an abba song stuck in my head lol... my mom and dad made the show choice.... i just thank god they didn't choose celine dion... i shall update when i get back.... see you soon!

 

so today seems to be another boring day.... i'm over at a friends house playing video games and watching movies with her son Tyler who is 13... he had a shitty week last week.... his girlfriend broke up with him in class of all places, then he flipped out on the principal, got suspended, and the juvenile officer threated to have him institutionalized.... so he's staying with his mom for a while to let it all blow over....

i dunno what i'm doing this week... i just cleaned my apartment.... i have my ceramics class tommorow all day and on wednesday afternoon.... i work in the garden on wednesday morning, which is nice except i think this week its supposed to be raining.... i really haven't a clue what else i'm doing this week... i guess it remains to be seen whether or not i will be bored again

so monday was my dad and grandma's birthdays.... i spent it with them both for the first time in 7 years... it felt GREAT!!!  in two weeks or so i am off to Las Vegas to go to my cousin's wedding... should be kewl... she's marrying a british guy who at least sounds nice on the phone.... i personally have never met him lol.... i don't know what else to write today so i'll just leave it at that