You were my all, the one I adored, the one who I trusted the most in the world. I gave you the purist of me. You asked me to trust you. See my love was real, i guess yours was fake ,because i would have never lied to you or pushed you away. You have no idea how much I have cried, asking the Lord why my heart, why did you break me in half;this pain that consumes me and won’t let me think . My heart had never felt such pain, yet the one who asked me to trust, caused this enourmous hurt ,disappointment and yes shame. Don’t worry about saying sorry or you wish me the best what goes around comes around and that is what i have to say about that. Adios Mi Amor My Bay this Love is the One you let slip away. Don’t think that I will cry forever, I love myself too much.But yes, know this, you hurt me soooo Damn much. One day the only one you gave away will be the one your wishing for.



            Why my heart????....

These feeling are always changing,
for one heart to another.
Always confusing my mind.
Making me suffer sleepless nights,
taking up all of my time.

These feelings are always shifting,
from love to hate,
to happiness to depression,
Leaving me in a state of mind,
that is not really,
in the realm of reality,
but stuck in a fantasy.

These feelings always distract me,
from other things,
that are right in my face,
but are too blurry to see,
Covering my eyes
in a vail of black.
Darkening my world,
and my heart.

These feelings always hurt me.
Setting me up for the pain of rejection.
Tricking me into thinking that i am alright.
It swallows me whole,
and pushes the securities away.

Now I see,
That these feelings that I have always had,
have always been for just one person.
But the false feelings can still give me hope.
Still keep me living,
breathing, dreaming.
Helping me survive for another day

The coolish rain is there again
This beautiful wonderful cathartic rain
who makes me forget all of my pain
in the rain it seems like i ran insane

it makes me feel like i was alive
so i don’t have to see me in the bath with a knife
it lets me suppress bad memories of my day
and makes me feel like i was okay

the thin trickles are running down my skin
the only thing i feel is the vertigo when i spin
the marvelous wet of the tranquil rain
who’ll never hear my cries in vain

who’ll never dare someone to judge
it’ll never play tricks on me or comment not even watch
I spin round and round and all my tears
admix with water i forget all my fears

the fear of being lonely and never being loved
although i know all these thoughts are daft
what shall i do i am soaked to the flesh
but still i won’t leave; i stay till i crash

i wanna stand timeless till my life is over
then through the rain my pure soul will hover
and take revenge on all these stupid supermen
who always compromised myself and called me names

or just ignored me and handled me cold
this has just been of them a big fault
it won’t make it better to hit these ones back
in any way i’ll always have to crack

so i’m going back to bear the painful ache
that always comes to my heart when i’m in rage
then in the rain i’ll be back again
standing there shouting my cries in vain

oh wonderful beautiful rain