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Last Updated: 9/24/2009

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City: SAN FRANCISCO
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Monday, May 25, 2009 
Some artists refuse to explain the motivations behind their work, insisting that once a song or a movie or a painting is released into the universe, it no longer belongs to the creator. When you hear a song, you experience that piece of music in an individualistic fashion; the work is bent and twisted and perceived through the lens of your own life experiences.

Luckily, I’m not an “artist.” I’m just a dude writing songs in his bedroom. Therefore, I’m breaking all the rules. This commentary will speak plainly about the writing process of Invaders and the specific life experiences that inspired each track. I’m going to leave out the boring producer stuff like which microphones I used and which compression settings I prefer and all that. This commentary isn’t really about how this record was made. It’s more about why this record was made.

If that’s something you can get behind, then hey, let’s take a journey, shall we? Let’s pack our whips, throw on a leather jacket and fedora, hop into a dusty Jeep, and floor it straight into Makinganalbumville. But beware: it’s a scary, terrifying place full of crippling self-doubt, exposed insecurities, and embarrassing vulnerabilities. Lucky for you, however, your guide knows a few places in town where the sun still shines. All aboard!


[click for lyrics]
zombie |ˈzämbē|
noun
• informal a person who is or appears lifeless, apathetic, or completely unresponsive to their surroundings.

One of my favorite horror flicks is George A Romero’s classic 1978 film Dawn of the Dead. The plot: recently dead humans mindlessly walk the Earth, trapped in a never-ending, unquenchable search for flesh and brains. And where do their desires lead them? To a shopping mall, of course. Once there, they bash through windows and break down doors in an attempt to fill their undead souls with something, anything to satisfy their cravings. And after they trap you and dine on your skin? They lumber off looking for more meat. More blood. More, more, more. It’s never enough.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist (or pretentious literary major) to connect the dots and understand that Romero was metaphorically using zombies to critique rampant, unchecked consumerism and social decadence. By definition, zombies do not make choices for themselves. They’re driven by an urge to consume without the ability to reflect on their feelings and understand why. They see blood and they drink it. They hear a gunshot and walk towards it. Zombies mindlessly follow the herd and use their vast numbers and relentless will to devour living flesh to remake the world in their own ghoulish, dreadful image.

With that said, take a look around you. Go ahead. No, really. Look up and examine your surroundings. Do you see people living without passion? Without purpose? Lost in a sea of crippling self-doubt, dressing the way magazines tell them to dress and acting like characters from The Hills? Or maybe you’re stuck in a cubicle, peeking over the top of your cage to stare at your co-workers existing in a state of perpetual rationalization, human rats that constantly update their reasons for letting their dreams die and their passions to wither, only to be fool themselves into thinking that Excel spreadsheet formulas and American Idol results shows are the true keys to happiness.

Okay, I’ll admit that it’s a clichéd and hackneyed worldview to postulate that everyone in a tie doesn’t live life to the fullest. Real life isn’t that obvious. What should be obvious, however, is that it doesn’t matter where you work, where you go to school, or how much money you have: as Henry David Thoreau once said, “most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”

And that’s what Zombies Everywhere is about. The idea that you are surrounded on all sides by forces that pressure you to compromise your personal beliefs for the desire to fit the mold of the status quo, to make money, or to meet the unrealistic expectations of people that don’t really care about you. Zombies don’t want you to succeed because they have already failed. They gave up on their dreams years ago, and can’t possibly bear the thought that someone else might accomplish more than they have.

But don’t let anyone stop you. Ask questions. Wear the clothes you want to wear. Listen to the music you like. Don’t get a tattoo of a werewolf biting a dolphin if you don’t think it looks cool. Don’t feel pressured to smoke, drink, have sex, cheat on your taxes, kill your landlord, or pretend that you liked X-Men Origins: Wolverine if you think they completely ruined Gambit.

The point is: don’t let anyone define for you what is or isn’t cool. Don’t let anyone tell you what you can or can’t do. You’re not a zombie. You can think for yourself, you have an open mind and a willingness to learn and grow, and you can do anything you want to, thank you very much.

So what are you waiting for? Get out there. Raise your hand. Write poetry. Start a charity to help homeless people, or learn how to speak French, or put together a punk band. Ask yourself, “What would I do if I didn’t have to make money?” and find a way to do a little of that every day. In short, listen to the Jiminy Cricket inside yourself and it’s impossible to do wrong.

And one more thing: if you believe everything I’m saying, you’re a zombie of the worst kind. Oh, the irony.



[click for lyrics]
In defense of ditching his wife to marry his own adopted daughter, Woody Allen famously stated, “the heart wants what the heart wants.” That was Allen’s pithy way of saying that love is a divine force impossible to control or contain. Whether you categorize it as a feeling, an emotion, a chemical reaction, a gift from God, or an instinctual response designed by evolution to continue the propagation of the species, love is a beast in charge of its own destiny, laying to waste rational thought and sensible decision making by sparking wars, provoking jealousy, and inspiring the greatest works of art in human history.

In short, it’s kinda responsible for everything.

Life and love are both crushingly beautiful, and ugly, and awe-inspiring, and unorganized. The Earth spins around the Sun, babies slide out of vaginas, old people slide into graves, you get older, you settle into a job you hate because you didn't have the money, or worse, the guts to follow your dreams, you lie in bed at night staring at the ceiling, wondering if there could be just one person out there waiting to love you, to hold you, to look at you and see you for who you really are, to make you feel like you're the most important person in the world and that you deserve love. But you can't possibly believe that anyone could love you if they got to know the real you.

You know that Haddaway song “What Is Love?” Well, he had no idea what love was all about when he first sang that song, and I’d be willing to bet that he isn’t any closer to an answer today. Trying to define love is like trying to hold a wet fish: the damn thing manages to slip away no matter how firm a grasp you have on it.

But maybe that’s because we’ve been looking at love from the wrong angle. Maybe true love isn’t a collection of warm, fuzzy feelings. Perhaps true love is a choice. A choice to stay with your partner after the fairy tale beginning. After the excitement of stepping into a strange girl’s room for the first time is gone. After sending flowers and cute cards is replaced by jumping up to fart on your boyfriend’s face as he watches hockey. After sleeping in until noon is replaced with getting up early to take the kids to school. Maybe it’s a choice you make after looking at your girlfriend as she falls asleep next to you while watching The Breakfast Club, only to suddenly realize that there has never been a more perfect person for you, someone that has seen all sides of your personality without judging you, someone who has seen your faults and imperfections but still chooses to be with you regardless of the crazy ups and downs you’ve been through together.

Yeah, maybe that’s what love is. A choice.

But what do I know? My shirt is covered in Doritos crumbs, I have three WarCraft characters at Level 80, and I haven’t spoken to a female since the waitress at Denny’s asked, “do you need change?” after I ate pancakes and sausage five months ago.

Sigh.


[click for lyrics]
Spiked green Mohawk. Black boots. Leather jacket with a Misfits patch safety-pinned to the back. Facial piercings. Ripped black jeans. Pawnshop guitar. Vintage combo amp. Three chords. Notebooks full of clichéd lyrics ambiguously addressing corrupt governments, zero tolerance for authority figures, and how seriously fucking stupid you are for following trends and conforming to society’s vision of what’s “acceptable.”

Is this the portrait of a rebel? A modern-day, punk rock Johnny Cash, stepping out of a black Cadillac parked on a dusty road with an acoustic guitar and a voice ready to change the world?

Nope. This ain’t that. This is the portrait of a 14-year-old Paul McGuire after a trip to Hot Topic and Guitar Center.

Back then, I thought that dressing the way Johnny Rotten did in the 70’s made me cool. I thought it made me different. Interesting. And if you, the principal, or the cashier at Burger King had a problem with how I dressed or the music I listened to, then you could fuck off and die. I was King Of The Hill, baby. Top of the heap. And if you didn’t realize this, then you were a shithead and a sellout, dude.

Only years later did I realize something very, very important:

Copying someone else’s vision of non-conformity is the ultimate act of conformity.

Isn’t it ironic? Don’t ya think?

The general definition of conformity is to “comply with rules, standards, or laws,” or “to behave according to socially acceptable conventions or standards.” People need to be accepted into a group in order to feel validated. Being a punk is no different. Sure, punks don’t wear Christmas sweaters, or loafers, or khaki shorts, but don’t think for a second that they don’t have their own restrictive uniform. In order to fit in, in order to be “accepted” into the sub-culture, you had to wear what they wore, act how they acted. And if you didn’t fit the mold, you simply weren’t accepted, that’s all. Sometimes, this was done with a kick from a steel-toed boot to the head. Other times, it was done by loudly proclaiming what a “poser” you were, and how much you had no idea what “punk is all about.”

And that’s where the Snake Oil comes in.

Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with selling Snake Oil, as long as you advertise that you’re selling Snake Oil. Selling Snake Oil and calling it Pepsi is wrong both technically and ethically. And this is what bugs me about Hot Topic Punks. It’s okay to dress like Johnny Rotten, but please, for the love of all creatures big and small, have the self-awareness to realize and acknowledge that you’re just sporting a recycled fashion that you find aesthetically pleasing. It doesn’t make you interesting. It doesn’t make you special. It doesn’t make you better than the captain of the volleyball team, the Grateful Dead obsessed hippy, or the math genius. It just makes you you. Try not to forget that it’s your heart that makes you unique, not your mohawk.

We’re all different. And yet, paradoxically, that’s what makes us all the same. So please, after you strap on your steel-toed boots, go ask that dude with the tape between his glasses and the pocket protector to get some ice cream with you. You might find that you have a lot in common after all.


[click for lyrics]
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Martin Luther King Jr. said, “through our scientific and technological genius, we have made of this world a neighborhood, and yet we have not had the ethical commitment to make of it a brotherhood.”

King said this during a sermon in 1963, and therefore was not referencing the explosion of Internet technology and social networking that would overtake the world thirty-five years later, but rather, he was referring to the automation of factory jobs in the manufacturing industry and the frightening advances in technological warfare. Through the lens of mid-60’s politics and social upheaval, King theorized that while technology would certainly promote closer, tighter global relationships and increased knowledge sharing, he also feared that we did not posses the much-needed restraint and temperament required to responsibly use such powerful instruments for, well, the good of all mankind.

But enough of the fluffy stuff, I’ll just say it plainly: the human-robot love story illustrated in the lyrics of this song is a metaphor for society’s torrid love affair with technology.

Case in point: how are you reading this commentary right now? On your desktop computer? On your laptop in a coffee shop, surrounded by hipsters, wannabe poets, and soccer moms? On your phone while you sit in the passenger seat of your boyfriend’s Jeep while he drives you to the theatre to watch Star Trek for the sixth time? I highly doubt any of you are reading this on paper, but even if you were, that means you downloaded it off the Internet, pressed Print, and a laser shot black ink across a dead tree and magically created a physical copy for you to carry around in your pocket.

Our lives are, for better or for worse, 100% reliant on technology. And with every day that passes, the electronic bits that rule our lives become larger, and stronger, and smarter. And yet, perhaps strangely, it’s all very normal, isn’t it? Today, stepping foot on an airplane, blasting through the air at 500MPH, and landing somewhere six thousand miles away in under eleven hours is no big deal, but one hundred years ago you would have been burned at the stake for even suggesting such witchcraft was even remotely possible.

Another case in point: I had no idea how fast airplanes flew, but I typed my question into a little box and 0.2 seconds later I was given the answer. All very routine, all very normal.

Every new generation is exposed to a larger amount of tech convenience, and suddenly it’s no big deal that the little plastic box in your hand can shoot a signal into outer space, bounce off a satellite, and careen back into Earth’s atmosphere and into the little plastic box in your friend’s hand five feet away from you, just so you can say “yo” without moving your mouth. When a new technological wonder gadget is introduced to modern society, it makes a momentary innovative splash, then becomes just another thing we take for granted. A given. Miracles as a part of everyday life, that’s all.

In Charlie Chaplin’s classic film The Great Dictator, the main character pleads, “Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities life would be violent, and all will be lost."

The good news? Both King and Chaplin’s passages have one thing in common: hope. Hope that our good-natured, yet still cavemen-like minds can find a way to turn this complex, digital neighborhood into a brotherhood. And maybe, just maybe, with a little goodwill and scientific awareness, the global community will slow the production of bombs that can vaporize our planet, make cars that won’t make every penguin homeless, and stop being complete shitheads while hiding behind anonymity on a Twilight message board. Okay, I’ll take responsibility for the last one on the list. Please forgive.

But really, we’re gonna have to find a way to make this technology thing work, because, you know, we’re kinda stuck with this stuff. Or, to put it another way:

Once you go cyborg you don’t go back.


[click for lyrics]
When my insecurities rear their ugly head (which happens often), and my ability to write or make creative decisions has been poisoned by self-doubt, I try to remember something that Eleanor Roosevelt said: “Do what you feel in your heart to be right. You'll be criticized anyway.”

And that’s what this song is about: the struggle between the goals you want to accomplish, and the impossible pressure you subject yourself to by turning the proverbial microscope inward. Intense over-analysis and over-thinking are my worst enemies, and more often than not both qualities are the reason why my projects and/or relationships fail. I simply can’t meet a deadline and/or allow my heart to make decisions, because I’m too busy dissecting every move and allowing my head and “rational thinking” to get in the way. I’m sorta like Spock, except, you know, without the brilliant intellect, cool haircut, and irresistible geeky charm.


[click for lyrics]
I have an addiction: I like to people watch. It’s taking over my life, but I can’t help it. Like David Bowie’s humanoid character in The Man Who Fell To Earth, I frequently find myself sitting on a park bench, or in the back of a restaurant, or waiting in line at a grocery store observing the people around me and wondering what their motivations are, who they love, what secrets they’re keeping, how they’re going to die, and where they’re going to end up.

I over-analyze everything. And I mean everything. Like right now, I’m even analyzing what you, the potential reader, is going to think about my confession that I over analyze every detail. And now I’m thinking about how pretentious, and self-absorbed, and silly it sounds when I admit that I’m analyzing the sentences I’m writing about my shockingly uncontrollable ability to not analyze things. And what’s the point of writing all this down, when in one hundred years every single person I know is going to be dead and nothing anyone does really matters?

Whew. Confusing, right? Paralysis by analysis. That’s what I have. It’s a horrible disease, really. But at least you know I’ll never kill anyone, because it would take me at least seventeen years to choose which weapon to use. I’d be an immobile sack of skin hooked to an oxygen tank and dying of heart disease in an old folks home eighty years from now before I even pick a victim. The Zodiac Killer I am not.

With that said, the main, crushing side effect of over-thinking everything is this: I simply cannot live in the moment. At all times, I’m either thinking about the past, trying to figure out where things went horribly wrong, or I’m working to move all my pieces perfectly in place in order to influence and predict the future. This leaves very little time for me to smell the roses, if you will.

Which brings us to the theme of this song: over-analyzing your life effectively stops you from living it.

And yet, even after coming to this realization, I don’t know what to change in order to stop feeling this way. I mean, I can’t tell myself to stop thinking. It’s not a switch you can turn off, where all of the sudden you’re, like, totally interested in the 49ers versus Patriots football game and your only worries are if you have enough nachos and beer to last four quarters. It doesn’t work that way. Or does it? Strangely, I have the strongest urge for nachos. I’ll have to continue my analysis after a serious trip to Taco Bell.


[click for lyrics]
Sometimes a song has a mind of it’s own, and the idea that motivated you to write the tune in the first place disappears, only to be replaced by a different kind of monster altogether.

Originally, this song was intended to be a soft, tender piano ballad. I had written the piano chords and progressions very early in the writing process, and even recorded a slowed-down, mellow version of the song with just vocals and piano. I was really happy with the way the track turned out, but as I continued to write songs for the rest of the record, I kept coming back to this tune and saying (as I always do, my biggest weakness), what if I added guitar? And bass? And drums? And a lot more keyboards? And sped the whole thing up? Suddenly, the song transformed from being a vulnerable piano track and into an upbeat rock song.

A tough decision needed to be made. Which version was better suited for the record? I couldn’t choose. I liked both for different reasons. Eventually, when I listened back to the album as a whole, it made sense to use the rock version on the album, and perhaps use the piano version as a B-side somewhere down the line. In the end, Aaron replaced my verse beat with a way-cooler kick/snare pattern, and Geoff added some Journey-style solo notes over the break, and everything turned out fine.

Lyrically, this song was written as a letter to myself. That said, the meaning of the title is obvious: my stubborn, silly inability to break down the unnecessary, dramatic walls I’ve built to protect myself only hurt me in the end. I went through a streak where I told myself that I didn’t need love; that I didn’t need someone else to validate my worth in order to feel important. I told myself that these types of relationships only held me back from achieving my goals and being the person I wanted to be.

But I wasn’t being honest.

Fact is, the people in your life and the relationships you’ve created just might be the only things that really matter. Your mother holding your hand as you take your first steps, the night you asked Samantha Jenkins to prom, the surprise birthday party you threw for Dave, who was so shocked he vomited on Becky’s new dress: these are moments you’ve shared with the people you love and care about. These are the moments you remember. These are the people you feel connected to, the people you’ve learned from, and the people you don’t want to live without. And while sometimes (okay, most times) love can be hard, it’s worth every bruise and bloody nose. Relationships aren’t meant to confine and restrict, they’re meant to liberate the heart and allow it to fly to unseen heights.

You say you don’t agree with me? That’s fine. But hey, you’re not fooling anyone (except yourself).


[click for lyrics]
I was failing the seventh grade. I hated all my classmates, my teachers, and the kids that lived on my block. In other words, I was your typical white kid from the suburbs: utterly self-centered with absolutely zero perspective. I wanted to switch schools. I wanted to move to a different neighborhood. And above all, I wanted the chance to start over again and make a new life for myself.

Sounds pretty dramatic for a kid in seventh grade, doesn’t it? The way I was acting, you’d think that every time I lost a round of Street Fighter, the pain I felt was the equivalent of a tank crushing an infant in Nigeria. I was, hands-down, the biggest Drama Queen on the block. After a particularly horrific day at school, where kids teased me for having a zit on the side of my nose (which, in my head, was the equivalent pain of a Russian traitor having all four limbs sawed off and shoved in a blender by the KGB), I decided to ditch school and head to the beach. I needed to get away from the cliques, the cool kids that refused to acknowledge I existed, and the judgmental teachers that viewed me as a thorn in their side for “asking too many questions,” and “not showering for weeks and refusing to wear deodorant.” The ocean seemed like the perfect place to go and forget my troubles.

It took me twenty minutes to walk to the beach, and when I got there, I saw something I’ll never forget.

Spray painted on the wall directly in front of me, in huge, Hollywood Hills style white letters, was the following phrase: IF YOU DONT LIVE HERE DONT SURF HERE. Just like that, scrawled in all capital letters with zero punctuation. And as the sun set behind me in a blazing sea of reds, and oranges, and yellows, I learned a lesson that Brer Rabbit learned one hundred years before I did:

You can’t run from trouble, kid, there ain’t no place that far.

Ignorance exists everywhere. Close-minded, cruel people aren’t just found in your seventh grade Science class, they’re found on the local police force, waiting tables at Denny’s, and yes, even wearing flip-flops at your local beach. While humans are the most advanced, evolutionary animal alive, there’s a part of our brain that’s stuck 300,000 years in the primitive past, when cavemen traveled as nomadic packs and lived in tribes. In those days, stumbling upon a group of cavemen in a different tribe meant that you were going to spend the rest of your afternoon swinging your club at a hairy, grunting face in a violent grab for territory, food, and shelter. And while those days are long gone, the racism, bigotry, sexism, and xenophobia that were a very real part of everyday Neanderthal life are as prevalent as ever.

And that’s what this song is about: feeling lost in a world full of unwelcoming cliques that require you to compromise your beliefs in order to be accepted.


[click for lyrics]
To paraphrase Caden Cotard in Synecdoche, NY, “there are billions of people in the world, and none of them is an extra. They’re all leads in their own stories.”

Using theatre as a metaphor for real-life was most likely already cliché when Shakespeare wrote his famous “All The World’s A Stage” bit in As You Like It, but that doesn’t make me any less interested in viewing the pressures of society through the lens of the entertainment world in order to examine how the desire to become popular is a universal attraction that spans every stage of life, from the first years of school to your high-paying job in corporate America.

Similar to If You Don’t Live Here, Don’t Surf Here, the underlying theme of The Horror Show is: don’t change or compromise who you are or what you believe in order to please someone else. That can only lead to disaster, and in the end, you will only have yourself to blame.

But hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m aware that over the course of your life, you’ll certainly change your opinions, your beliefs, and your favorite brand of cereal (mine used to be Rice Chex, now it’s Wheaties. Never been a big sugar-cereal guy). But the key here is to not feel pressured by someone else’s expectations of what they imagine you should be. Easier said than done, right? I mean, it’s easy to spout vague, ambiguous advice on paper, but how do you apply these ideas to everyday life?

Easy answer: you’re gonna have to get burned.

Listening to your Dad lecture you about the dangers of fire is one thing, but placing your fingers over the flame is quite another. Once your hand feels the scorching pain of becoming a Chicken McNugget, you’ll never forget that direct contact with flickering waves of orange and red is to be avoided at all costs.

It’s inevitable: you’re going to make a few decisions that your heart doesn’t agree with. Okay, more than a few. You might be convinced to help your friends hotwire a car because they couldn’t find someone to drive them to Donut Time after they smoked six pounds of weed, you might tease Jody Meyers about her weight because everyone else was doing it, and you might steal money out of the cash register during your lunch break at Bloomingdale’s because it was, like, a totally victimless crime.

My point is: you’re going to do a couple things that, upon reflection, you regret. You’re going to look back and ask yourself why did I do those things? And, through a little (okay, a lot) of trial and error, you’ll see that mistakes are necessary in order to grow. You need to experience the pains of searching everywhere outside yourself in order to realize that the answers were inside you the entire time. In other words, you need to have your own personal Horror Show. Probably more than one.

And that’s the only way you’ll realize that, as the recurring theme of this record suggests, It’s Okay To Be Yourself.

Or, maybe you’ll join the Trenchcoat Mafia and shoot up your school. It’s kinda 50/50.


[click for lyrics]
Thematically, this song is the sequel to The League Of Tomorrow’s Sometimes When You Lose, You Win, which is plainly referenced in the first line of the song’s lyrics. Traveling back to 2007, Sometimes perfectly captured how I felt about chasing my silly dream to create music regardless of how many people didn’t believe in me or how many times I was rejected. I didn’t care if no one bought my album (they didn’t). I didn’t care if a single magazine or website reviewed my record (they didn’t). And I didn’t care if no one else wanted to play the music I was writing (they didn’t, except Ray, God bless his soul). The principal message of the song was: blaze your own path. Follow your heart. Make mistakes. Get punched in the face for standing up for what you believe in. It’s all good. Because, you know, sometimes when you lose, you win.

Inspiring? Maybe. But hold on, isn’t that a little naïve? If it’s true that sometimes when you lose, you win, doesn’t the opposite also have to be true? Don’t you have to at least acknowledge that sometimes when you lose…you lose?

It certainly seems that way. Before I wrote this record, things weren’t going very well in Paulville. I had written two albums that weren’t well-received by any stretch of the imagination, I was homeless, had absolutely zero money, and Karate High School was without a label and no one in the industry seemed to care. Where I come from, this is what’s known as a “Wake Up Call.” As I continued to analyze every choice I’d made, every bad song I’d written, every time I zigged when I should have zagged, I splashed some water on my face, looked at myself in the mirror, and came to one final, soul-draining realization: failure is officially an option, dude.

And this is where you, as an artist, make a choice. You either A) give up, ask your mom if you can move back into your old bedroom, and re-apply for your old job as Head Burger Flipper at Mickey D’s, or B) realize that music is the only thing that’s ever made sense to you, and continue to create songs and express yourself artistically because that is what you were meant to do, regardless of how many people try to tear you down and tell you that you’re not good enough.

If you find yourself in this position one day, I hope you have the courage to choose the second option. It’s the only way your soul will ever feel satisfied; the only way your heart can channel it’s truth into something that will live on long after you’re dead and gone.

In short, I have discovered that both are true: sometimes when you lose, you win, and yes, sometimes when you lose, you lose. Just don’t forget one important thing: it’s you that gets to decide.


[click for lyrics]
This is the only song where I’ll allow your imagination to provide your own personal meaning. It’s the most intimate thing I’ve written, and quite frankly, I don’t feel comfortable or currently possess the energy to provide the real-life details behind the words. I can’t sing this song or listen to the track without shriveling into a huge, disgusting baby, and the last thing you need right now is yet another solipsistic, self-pitying rant about what it means to the fast-running hamster on the treadmill inside my skull. I will say, however, that I intentionally kept this track bare, sparse, and vulnerable. Hopefully you can understand why.

Thank for you reading this Album Commentary. Your Friend,

Paul J. McGuire

Thank you for wasting seven hours of your life by reading this album commentary. If you'd like to waste even more time, check out even more nonsense by visiting PaulMcGuireRocks.com, and check me out on Twitter.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009 
Want to help us promote our new record, Invaders? You've come to the right place.

We'll put you in our Top Friends if you:

1. Download this picture from our Flyers photo album and put it as your default photo

2. Change your Display Name to: "(whatever your name is)[INVADERS OUT NOW!]"

3. Comment this blog so we can see proof of your handiwork

That's it! Once you've done so, we'll keep you up for a while and cycle through anyone that helps out. We love you all. :)

Paul

Oh! And if you comment the blog, can you include your full URL so we can find you easily? Gracias!


Thursday, May 07, 2009 
To celebrate the release of our new record Invaders on May 19th, KHS and Interpunk.com have teamed up for a new contest.

Let’s cut right to the chase. If you:

1. Wish you had the ability to fly, or
2. Dream about Brad Pitt giving you a sensual thigh massage, or
3. Want Paul J. McGuire from Karate High School to write a song about you,
 
Then it’s time to celebrate, sister, because I can help you fulfill one of your lifelong dreams. And sorry, no, I don’t have Brad Pitt’s number.

I would, however, love to write a song about you.

All you have to do is visit the following page and enter your first name and email address before May 19th, 2009. That’s it. You don’t have to buy a single thing.

Click here to visit the Interpunk.com contest page

Once the deadline passes, three winners will be randomly picked, and I’ll write a 30-60 second song about each of them. Each song will be different, and the style of music will depend on the winner. It could be acoustic, death metal, or polka. I’m not sure yet. If you’re a winner, I’ll probably contact you after the contest ends and work something out to get the details of your life story. Or, I’ll just make random speculations about you, and title your song something like, “Jimmy Isn’t Hairy, He’s A Werewolf, Dude.” Anything is possible.

Sound like something you’re into? Of course it is. Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves, so why pass up what might be your only opportunity to have your very own theme song, painstakingly written and recorded in my bedroom? So go ahead and visit the contest page at Interpunk.com and toss your name into the hat. Come on, all the cool kids are doing it. And, as we all know, peer pressure, like, totally works.

Your Friend and Personal Songwriter,

Paul J. McGuire

Frequently Asked Questions:

Do I have to buy anything?

Nope.
 
Really?
Really.

I just have to enter my first name and email address?
Yes. P.S. I’m starting to fall asleep here. Any other questions?

Can I pre-order your new album, Invaders, directly from Interpunk.com?
Sure, but only if you want to give me a 36 hour, non-stop orgasm.

Why did X-Men Origins: Wolverine suck so badly?
I’d say it was a combination of a non-compelling story (including a pointless father-murder scene that never paid off), a watered-down version of Gambit, and the casting of Ryan Reynolds as a mouth-stitched Deadpool.

I'm out of town right now, but you can follow me anywhere in the world through senseless, 140 character messages on Twitter. Maybe you can just Tweet the lyrics you want for your song to me. Hmmm.
Thursday, April 09, 2009 



Hey folks, this is Paul from Karate High School. I'll keep this simple:

Karate High School has a new album called Invaders, and it will be released through Eyeball Records on May 19th, 2009.

You can pre-order Invaders right now for just $8.00 by visiting the Eyeball Records store.

Invaders is a record about life, love, destiny, self-discovery, accomplishments, disappointments, Heaven, Hell, dreams, reality, hope, realizing it's never too late to follow your heart, and finding beauty and strength in the most peculiar of places. If there's one theme that keeps coming back throughout the record, it's that It's Okay To Be Yourself. I fought with this concept for a long time, and I still do. There is simply too much media telling you how to look, how to act, and selling you answers to your problems that it's hard to wade through the bullshit and find something real.  If you feel this way too, then hey, this record is for you.

I wrote most of this record in my old bedroom at my mother's house. No high-priced studio. No big-name producer with fantastic street cred. No money. Aaron played drums. Geoff played guitar. And I played keyboards, bass, and sang. The only thing I had was a minimal amount of recording gear and an overwhelming need to use music as a way to process life experiences, express them, and gain some type of understanding of What The Hell I'm Doing Here. And yes, I am fully aware of how disgustingly pretentious and self-indulgent that sounds. But what can I say? I'm writing this on my laptop at Starbucks while nursing a Venti Decaf White Mocha With Extra Foam, and my thick rimmed glasses and black beret got the best of me.

You can read more about Invaders by checking out this blog.

"Zombies Everywhere" is the first song to be posted up, but it's only a sample of where the record goes. Check back for updates regularly, willya? Thank you, I love you more than any human being should love another human being. :)

Invaders tracklisting:

1. Zombies Everywhere
2. One Trip Around The Sun
3. Punk Rock Uniform
4. Fell In Love With A Robot
5. Under The Micrscope
6. Out On The Streets
7. You're Not Fooling Anyone (Except Me)
8. If You Don't Live Here, Don't Surf Here
9. The Horror Show
10. Failure Is Officially An Option
11. Dear You, It's Me

Oh, and cake is awesome. Chocolate, preferably.

Paul J. McGuire

And here's the cover art. Click on it to pre-order the record directly from Eyeball.


-------------------------------------------------------

I've received requests to post the lyrics for the new song up, so here they are. I think it's pretty obvious, but hopefully everyone understands that zombies are used as a metaphor here. ;)

Zombies Everywhere

They're storming every town. They're gonna burn every building down. They're gonna make all your friends look just like them, and if you haven't noticed yet, we're surrounded by zombies everywhere. They're coming for your brains, and it's too late to change. I saw you die that day. We put you in the ground, but somehow now you're awake. My phone rings, and it's my mom. She says do you know what's going on? Something's killing every boy and girl, it's the end of the world. There's zombies everywhere. I see them feeding on skin, all chewing a certain way. They eat the same. They shove it all in. I run to my car, I'm on my own. I'm driving across America all alone, but my supplies are running low, and I can't go home. There's zombies everywhere. If you're listening to this, then it's already too late. We tried our best, but we could not escape. We were surrounded, without a way outside. And without warning, they pushed their way inside. I'm writing you a letter from deep inside this hell. And hopefully, it will help you save yourself.



Thursday, February 12, 2009 


3/16/09 EDIT:

Hey all!

Just wanted to let everyone know what’s happened with
me and what to look forward to. The surgery went well, though they had
to do more damage to my arm than was planned. Fortunately, it won’t
inhibit my ability to play, and I’ll be able to do this next tour
coming up. I can’t straighten my arm all the way out, but I can play
guitar, so that’s good enough for me.

I’m also very happy to announce that the biopsy on the lymph nodes
came back negative and the cancer did not spread to the rest of my body.  In other words, I am cancer free! All I have to do is
heal and get the arm back into shape. =]

That being said…You all
were so awesome with all your support and well wishes….I think it
worked! I’ll see you all soon…the touring resumes!

Love,
Geoff

P.S. I’ll show you my scars for a dollar.


-----------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------

2/11/09

KHS fans (all 12 of you)-

This is my first blog entry I’ve written for the band, and unfortunately I’m not offering good news or our new record release date (which IS coming soon!) As you may have seen we are canceling our upcoming tour with Watch Out There’s Ghost. As I sit here writing this I find myself failing to concoct a witty segway (not the cool things mall cops ride around on) or a joke to make the reader LOL, so I’ll just put it out there.

A few days ago (Feb.23rd) I was diagnosed with Malignant Melanoma. Which are fancy words for Skin Cancer. I had seen the dermatologist after the previous tour to remove what I thought was just a gross looking mole on my left forearm. (Some of you may have noticed me covering this up with a plethora of colored bandanas. Gangsta!)With only a few days before leaving for tour I was hit with this bombshell and honestly my first fear was not for my life, but that I couldn’t tour. Apparently cancer is a big health risk and these nerds in white labcoats with “fancy” phD’s recommend I stay at home for proper treatments.

The only thing I can say to sum it up is that the whole situation is retarded. (Apologies for the insensitivity to the mentally challenged, but if it makes any difference I’ve already received the kharma outcome) We were all really looking forward to this tour. Life doesn’t make sense to any of us to be at home, but we are making this exception for my health.

I am still in the staging process, so I don’t know the severity of the cancer, but you should know that I feel good…the initial results are encouraging for a quick recovery, and that is exactly the course I am aiming for. I haven’t blogged much lately, but I will be writing whenever I get updates, so add me and subscribe if you wish to keep informed.

In better news, I wont receive any treatment until Tuesday, so the weekend shows in Sacramento, and San Lorenzo are still a go! So if you are in the area please come rock with us. =]

I’d like to thank Paul, Aaron, and Ray for being great friends and band mates. The support from them, our management, booking agent, friends, and family has touched me, and it just makes me hungrier to kick this and get back on the road.

All in all, I’m sorry if you were looking forward to seeing us. I should have used more sun screen! I will be back soon.

Love,

Geoff =]

Wednesday, January 07, 2009 

Karate High School

Hey folks, this is Paul from Karate High School.

What you’re about to read is what bands call a “bio,” a one-page sales pitch that will typically feed you a bunch of nonsense about how cool and hip we are. If we’re lucky, we’ll come across as legitimate music artists, and you’ll be enticed to either purchase our music and/or come see us perform live. Normally, I would write this pitch in the typical third-person format, filling the page with trite phrases such as, “Karate High School’s new album will astound you with it’s Sasquatch-sized melodies and war-starting, crushing guitars! All the trendy zines say that if you buy it, your Cool-O-Meter will be raised 13 points, and you will instantly become 46% more attractive to the opposite sex!”

Oh, the joys of bullshit hyperbole.

I’m going to keep it simple this time around, and start with a few facts: Karate High School is a rock band from the San Francisco Bay Area. We decided to take this music thing seriously in 2004, and released two records called Arcade Rock and The League Of Tomorrow through a label that nobody has ever heard of. We toured the country in the filthiest van ever many times over, and played both heartbreakingly terrible and massively inspiring shows. Ray spent years cold-calling everyone in the music industry, begging them to listen to an unknown band with a silly name. The result? A collective shrug of the shoulders and an email inbox and voicemail full of No New Messages. At some point in a band’s life, you have to make a decision to either A) get a real job so you can pay your cell phone bill, or B) chase your dreams. For me, the answer was simple: chase your dreams. Naïve? Probably. Exciting? Hell yes. Fortunately, in 2008, we met a group of people that are just as passionate about music as we are: Alex and crew at Eyeball Records, and Jesse and Black at Piermont Management. We signed a deal with Eyeball in late ’08, and the world has never been the same. Okay, the world has been exactly the same. There are just five dudes that are, like, way happier. 

I’m supposed to talk about the sound of the band, and tell you what makes these songs different than anything you’ve heard before. But c’mon, folks, let’s face it: there are no original sounds anymore. Everything has already been done. The Beatles already wrote every great song many years before I was born. I’ll never write a Hey Jude. Heck, I’ll never write a Yellow Submarine.  The only thing I can do is put as much honesty and creativity into the songs that I can, and hope that they connect with you. With that said, there are loud guitars. There are keyboards. Some songs have over-the-top yelling, while others have ultra-poppy melodies. There’s a good chance that we’re not metal enough for you. There is also a good chance that we’re not indie enough for you. I simply write what I enjoy listening to, and if that means that there is a techno polka song next to a blistering hXc breakdown, then that’s what makes the record.

I like a lot of different music. My iPod is filled with everything from Talking Heads to Cannibal Corpse, with DJ Shadow, Bjork, WHAM!, and countless others infinitely stuck on shuffle. My iPod also has a high-resolution version of the 80’s classic The Lost Boys starring the fantastic team-up of Corey Feldman and Corey Haim, but I suppose that’s beside the point.

And what is the point, exactly?

Karate High School has a new record called Invaders, and it will be released through Eyeball Records on May 19th, 2009.

Invaders is a record about life, love, destiny, self-discovery, accomplishments, disappointments, Heaven, Hell, dreams, reality, hope, realizing it’s never too late to follow your heart, and finding beauty and strength in the most peculiar of places. If there’s one theme that keeps coming back throughout the record, it’s that It’s Okay To Be Yourself. I fought with this concept for a long time, and I still do. There is simply too much media telling you how to look, how to act, and selling you answers to your problems that it’s hard to wade through the bullshit and find something real.  If you feel this way too, then hey, this record is for you.

I wrote and recorded most of this record in my old bedroom at my mother’s house. No high-priced studio. No big-name producer with fantastic street cred. No money. Aaron played drums. Geoff played guitar. And I played bass, keyboards, and sang. The only thing I had was a minimal amount of recording gear and an overwhelming need to use music as a way to process life experiences, express them, and gain some type of understanding of What The Hell I’m Doing Here. And yes, I am fully aware of how disgustingly pretentious and self-indulgent that sounds. But what can I say? I’m writing this on my laptop at Starbucks while nursing a Venti Decaf White Mocha With Extra Foam, and my thick rimmed glasses and black beret got the best of me.

But I digress.

I've never been more proud of anything I've created before. I spent every single moment for months in a row writing/recording/revising/being excited/being even more disappointed/and finally, proud of the final result. With that said, I voluntarily take 100% of the blame if you think this record sucks. And yes, I'm plenty prepared for the two 13 year olds in New Hampshire that might actually be anticipating new KHS music to post, "WTF?!!! kAraTE hIsk00L sUx0rz!!!!11111111oneone" on their MySpace blog after they hear the new tunes. And yes, I'll read both of them, because I have a special illness that forces me to skip over and dismiss any slightly positive comments regarding my music, and pay special attention to the ones that tear me down.

But you aren’t going to think the record sucks. You’re going to love it. It’s going to become your new best friend. You’re going to cuddle up with it at night and it’s going to give you a back massage while whispering in your ear how hot you are. Then, it’s going to get up early, make you breakfast, wash the dishes, and grind all your Warcraft characters up to Level 80. In other words, you’ll be entering a new, exciting relationship. Except, at the end of this relationship, you won’t come home from work to find Invaders in bed with another dude, wearing black socks and a leather mask with a zipper over it’s mouth. This record is loyal, and it wants to love you. You simply have to give it a chance.

Goofiness aside, I’ve never been more excited about where the band is headed, and I'm not ashamed to say that I want all of you to hear the new record. Come see us on tour when we play near you, because there’s nothing we’d love more than to see all of your faces. And sleep on your couch. And use your shower. And have you cook dinner for us. You get the picture. 

If you’re still reading this bio, then I applaud you. You’re either an actual fan of the band, a sadist, or someone about to review our new record while looking for background information to explain why I’m hopelessly unoriginal. In any case, thank you for your time.

Paul McGuire / Karate High School
Invaders tracklisting:

1. Zombies Everywhere
2. One Trip Around The Sun
3. Punk Rock Uniform
4. Fell In Love With A Robot
5. Under The Micrscope
6. Out On The Streets
7. You’re Not Fooling Anyone (Except Me)
8. If You Don’t Live Here, Don’t Surf Here
9. The Horror Show
10. Failure Is Officially An Option
11. Dear You, It’s Me

Karate High School:

Paul McGuire – vocals, keyboards, bass
Billy Ray Valentine – keyboards
Aaron McVeigh – drums
Geoff Garnett - guitars

More information:
karatehighschool.com
myspace.com/karatehighschool

Contact:
jesse[@]piermontrecords[.]com
jblack[@]piermontrecords[.]com

And, of course, you can check Paul out on Twitter.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 
It's official:

Karate High School has signed a deal with Eyeball Records.

This will probably be the shortest record deal in history, however, since I'm obviously going to die soon. This is because my dreams keep coming true, and I think it's carved in a 3000 year old oak tree somewhere that once you complete a certain number of accomplishments in your life, The Dude Upstairs With The White Beard decides that you've done enough and it's time for you to leave Earth and play harp among the clouds with Elvis and Bigfoot.

But before I die, Karate High School is going to make a few albums for Eyeball Records.

And before we get to that, I want to say something to every single one of you that bought our records, listened to our music, drove three hours to see a show, and told your friends about some unknown band called Karate High School:

Thank you for believing in us.

It's that simple.

I know it sounds cliché, but that doesn't make it any less true: without you, none of what we do is possible. To everyone who let us crash on their living room floors, wash our disgusting bodies in their showers, and let us raid their fridges even though we ate all the chocolate cake and blamed it on their drunken roommate after stepping in dog poop outside and tracking it into their house, Thank You. We simply could not have toured for years through the worst weather conditions with absolutely zero money if you hadn't been there to lift our spirits and help us believe that we should continue postponing our inevitable future positions at McDonald's. If I wasn't so worried about looking cool and maintaining my macho, tough-guy image, I'd cry right now and blow a rainbow-colored magic kiss to each and every one of you.

I couldn't be happier about the future of Karate High School, and about our new home on Eyeball. To be part of a label with amazing artists that I love and respect, with owners and employees that are hands-down the hardest working men in show-business is a dream come true.

Remember that scene at the end of Back To The Future when Doc Brown is sitting behind the wheel of the DeLorean, and just after he slides his titanium sunglasses over his face he states, "where we're going, we don't need…roads" and then the car lifts off the ground and flies into the sunset?

Yeah, I remember that scene too. I don't know what that has to do with I'm talking about, but Back To The Future is seriously fucking rad.

But anyways, let's recap: Karate High School has signed to Eyeball. I love you all dearly. I'm going to die soon. That's about it, folks.

We love all of you more than any human should ever love another human being,

Paul McGuire and the fine gentlemen of Karate High School

P.S. Oh, and if you feel the need to congratulate us, Karate High School's preferred cookie of choice is chocolate chip. Just sayin'.
Thursday, October 02, 2008 
Break out the LOLerskates!  Starting November 8th, Karate High School will be heading out on tour with I Set My Friends On Fire and You, Me And Everyone We Know.

Peep out the dates below.  We are going to be adding more dates in the coming weeks so don't jump off a ROFLcopter if you don't see a show scheduled for your city.  We'll do our best to melt your faces off soon enough.

As always, we'd love to hear what you think and what shows you are all excited about going to.  More importantly, does anybody actually think that Dylan will come back to 90210? In other words, share your thoughts and comment the blog.  Word. <3


Tour Dates (More Dates To Be Added)
Nov 10 2008 - 7:00P
The Muse - Nashville, Tennessee

Nov 11 2008 - 7:00P
Boney Junes - Evansville, Indiana

Nov 12 2008 - 7:00P
Club Rockstar - St. Louis, Missouri

Nov 13 2008 - 7:00P
Rhinos - Bloomington, Indiana

Nov 14 2008 - 7:00P
Bulldog Cafe - Louisville, Kentucky

Nov 15 2008 - 7:00P
The Afterdark - Stevens Point, Wisconsin

Nov 16 2008 - 7:00P
Nutty's - Sioux Falls, South Dakota

Nov 17 2008 - 7:00P
The Warehouse - La Crosse, Wisconsin

Nov 18 2008 - 6:00P
Station 4 - St. Paul, Minnesota

Nov 19 2008 - 7:00P
Mojoe's - Tinley Park, Illinois

Nov 20 2008 - 7:00P
Peabody's - Cleveland, Ohio

Nov 21 2008 - 7:00P
PBCH - Milford, Connecticut

Nov 22 2008 - 7:00P
Rocko's - Manchester, New Hampshire

Nov 23 2008 - 7:00P
Garden State Music Factory - Maplewood, New Jersey

Nov 24 2008 - 7:00P
Lawerenceville Moose Lodge - Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Nov 25 2008 - 7:00P
Knights Of Columbus - Annapolis, Maryland

Nov 26 2008 - 7:00P
Crocodile Rock - Allentown, Pennsylvania

Nov 28 2008 - 7:00P
Club Relevant - Virginia Beach, Virginia

Nov 29 2008 - 7:00P
New Brookland Tavern - Columbia, South Carolina

Nov 30 2008 - 7:00P
The Capitol - Ocala, Florida

Dec 1 2008 - 7:00P
Drake's - Miami, Florida

Dec 2 2008 - 6:00P
Back Booth - Orlando, Florida

Dec 3 2008 - 7:00P
The Red Door - Pensacola, Florida

Dec 4 2008 - 7:00P
The High Ground - Matairie, Louisiana

Dec 5 2008 - 7:00P
White Rabbit - San Antonio, Texas

Dec 6 2008 - 7:00P
Java Jazz - Houston, Texas

Dec 7 2008 - 7:00P
El Rey Theatre - McAllen, Texas

Dec 9 2008 - 7:00P
Launch Pad - Albuquerque, New Mexico

Dec 10 2008 - 7:00P
Chyro Arts - Scottsdale, Arizona

Dec 11 2008 - 7:00P
The Chain Reaction - Anaheim, California

Dec 12 2008 - 7:00P
San Jose Skate - San Jose, California

Dec 13 2008 - 7:00P
The Boardwalk - Sacramento, California

Dec 14 2008 - 7:00P
The Exit - Fresno, California

Dec 16 2008 - 7:00P
Satyricon - Portland, OR

Dec 17 2008 - 7:00P
Studio 7 - Seattle, Washington

Dec 18 2008 - 7:00P
The Venue - Boise, Idaho

Dec 20 2008 - 7:00P
The Eagles Lodge - Casper, Wyoming

Dec 21 2008 - 7:00P
Marquis Theater - Denver, Colorado
Currently listening:
Bad
By Michael Jackson
Release date: 2001-10-16
Thursday, December 20, 2007 

Current mood:  devious
Oh snap!  Now that we've just gotten back from our awesome Five Star vacation in Tahiti (we had to work on those tan lines somehow) we're ready to get back to work.  Guess what that means?  That's right!  It's time, once again, for Karate High School to bring its music to the masses.  We're going to be hitting the road with our brothers from another mother, Foxy Shazam and soon to be good friends Peachcake.  Here are the current dates for the upcoming tour, however if you don't see a show near you, don't panic.  We are going to be posting new dates as soon as we get them, and there WILL be more dates coming...we promise. <3

As usual, we love to hear what all you sexy guys and gals think about this tour.  Are you going to a show on this tour?  Do you wish we were playing a city that we're not?  Do you wish that Paul McGuire would yell in your face during the middle of one of our songs and scare you?  Do you wish you could grow facial hair like Eric Nally from Foxy Shazam?  TELL US ABOUT IT!  Post a comment on this blog with your thoughts, we promise to cherish ever single one.

Jan 17 2008
The Mad Hatter - w/ Foxy Shazam
Covington, Kentucky

Jan 18 2008
The Attic Club - w/ Foxy Shazam
Dayton, Ohio

Jan 19 2008
The School (BCA) - w/ Foxy Shazam
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Jan 20 2008
The Basement - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Columbus, Ohio

Jan 21 2008
The Infinity - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Williamsville, New York

Jan 22 2008
The Knitting Factory (Tap Bar) - w/ Foxy Shazam     
New York, New York

Jan 23 2008
Balcony Bar (The Trocadero) - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Philidelphia, Pennsylvania

Jan 24 2008
ICC Performance Halls - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Allston, Massachusetts

Jan 25 2008
The Camel - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Richmond, Virginia

Jan 26 2008
Guzmans - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Jan 27 2008
The Soapbox Laundrolounge - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Wilmington, North Carolina

Jan 29 2008
Studio A - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Miami, Florida

Jan 30 2008
The Orpheum - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Ybor City, Florida

Jan 31 2008
Big Daddy's - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Tallahassee, Florida

Feb 1 2008
The High Ground - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Metairie, Louisiana

Feb 2 2008
The Java Jazz - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Houston, Texas

Feb 4 2008
Red 7 - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Austin, Texas

Feb 5 2008
The Compound - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Corpus Christi, Texas

Feb 6 2008
The Rock Bottom - w/ Foxy Shazam     
San Antonio, Texas

Feb 8 2008
The One Place - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Phoenix, Arizona

Feb 9 2008
Jerry's Pizza - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Bakersfield, California

Feb 10 2008
Chain Reaction - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Anaheim, California

Feb 12 2008
The Whisky - w/ Foxy Shazam     
West Hollywood, California

Feb 13 2008
Blake's - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Berkeley, California

Feb 14 2008
Stoney's - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Reno, Nevada

Feb 15 2008
The Venue - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Boise, Idaho

Feb 16 2008     
Studio 7 - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Seattle, Washington

Feb 17 2008     
Rock N Roll Pizza - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Portland, Oregon

Feb 19 2008     
Club NVO - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Logan, Utah

Feb 21 2008     
Club Roxbury - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Omaha, Nebraska

Feb 22 2008     
Station 4 - w/ Foxy Shazam     
St. Paul, Minnesota

Feb 23 2008     
Beat Kitchen - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Chicago, Illinois

Feb 24 2008     
The House Cafe - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Dekalb, Illinois

Feb 25 2008     
The Spec - w/ Foxy Shazam     
Decatur, Illinois

Feb 26 2008     
2 Cents Plain - w/ Foxy Shazam     
St. Louis, Missouri

Feb 28 2008     
Frankies - w/Foxy Shazam     
Toledo, Ohio

Oh yeah, don't forget to drool over the awesome tour poster below.  Yeah, you know it's rad.



-Ray
Currently watching:
Bloodsport
Release date: 01 June, 2004
Friday, December 14, 2007 

Karate High School

Lyrics from the album The League Of Tomorrow

written by Paul J. McGuire

The Secret Handshake

Hey you, do you want to know the secret handshake? A simple yes or no is all you should say. And if it's yes, then you'd have to learn the passwords. Oh, where are my manners? We have a brilliant resume. Oh no, I never said that our actions would be proper, but I maintain my offer. Oh please, yes I know that I'm flirting with disaster. You should know that's exactly what I'm after. Oh and of course, you'd be working with the elite. The best we have to offer. Wait, I thought I heard you say that you never thought betrayal was courageous? Well that is just outrageous. So what is it gonna be? What is it gonna take? What do I have to say? Come on won't you tell me now, are you in or are you out? One thing left to do. One thing left to prove. One last piece to move. This ain't about justice. It's about revenge, and a lifetime membership. Are you in?


Burning Up For You

They say that the devil is in the details. Silly me, I didn't even read the fine print. I made a deal to save you and I signed it with my blood. I traded everything for a life of Hellfire, because I traded in my soul. You were everything that I wanted to be, and you just didn't deserve to go. One little secret that will never be free: you'll never ever ever know I'm burning up for you.  I feel like I got the short end of this deal. Pretty soon you'll find me in the pit of the inferno. You took a pitchfork and with precision, you aimed it at my heart. I traded everything for a life of Hellfire, because I traded in my soul. I'm burning up. I'm burning up. I'm burning up for you.


Can't Hold Me Down

I watch as his fist meets her face. She can't explain it but she knows it's unavoidable. On that day her planes filled the sky, and under her breath I heard her say: you can't hold me down. Standing on the edge of a high rise, I can't explain it but I feel so invincible. All signs say that I can't be broken. You didn't believe when you heard me say: you can't hold me down. I finally decided to stop keeping score. I used to be so scared, but I'm not afraid anymore. I should have left long ago, but it wasn't my time. I used to beat myself up, but I'm just not ashamed anymore. No matter what you do to stay away from me, just know: I'm still running. I'm still coming. You can't hold me down.


...And Then You Die!

Even though you're innocent, sometimes I just want to smash your face. When I have my ups and downs, I throw my weight around. And depending on my mood, I'll destroy you too. But now I see: You were right about everything, but I didn't want to listen. I'm going, going, gone. You find out you're wrong way too late, and then you die. Even though I know you're right, sometimes I just need to prove you wrong. Sometimes it's hard to be super scary and mean. The evil things I'd say pushed you all away. I won't pretend, sometimes I wish I was somebody else.


What Are Those Scientists Up To?

No journal would publish a hypothesis as silly as this: I've fallen for you. They wire me with tubes. They place me in front of you. They try to prove that love is a reaction. They run every test, but still scratch their heads. Can you really call this progress? You should unplug the cord; your blank clipboard shows the score of how it's bigger than us. There isn't a big enough net to intercept the orbit of love. Hey, what are those scientists up to? What are they out to prove? The mystery is the proof.


Welcome To The Broken Hearts Club

Come on in and take off your shoes man, this might take a while. Normally I don't talk out of school because that's just not my style. But I'd prefer to stay and gossip all day about the people we hate. I said it. Are you sure this place is completely safe? He handed me a page; I read it, it said: Welcome to the broken hearts club, you are all invited to stay the night. Welcome to the broken hearts club, no secret ever leaves here alive. It all started the winter of last year; I knew she was the one. But I'm not the kind of guy who is clever; the cat's always got my tongue. So with my thoughts, I told God if He loved me a lot, I'd get you. He answered back, with an ominous laugh amid a thunderous crash, "Son, I'm sorry but..." Welcome to the broken hearts club, you are all invited to stay the night. Welcome to the broken hearts club, no secret ever leaves here alive. Once you're a part of our little club, you'll never be the same. To those we admire, we're passing out flyers. And if you think our club's a sham, well frankly we don't give a damn. So, thank you for treating me like a garbage can. And thank you for singing as loud as you can. Welcome to the broken hearts club, you are all invited to stay the night. Welcome to the broken hearts club, no secret ever leaves here alive. 


Three Strikes And You're In

I ran to Washington Square. I took the back streets and every alley to get there. The bells were ringing with clues. And there it was, written on the side of the statue. My fingers traced every line: "To Our Boys and Girls, Who Will Soon Take Our Place and Pass On." 200 years in one night. I told myself what had to be done to make things all right. All my life, I never wanted to end up like this but now I know what I came for: to end the curse of generations that came before. For our children, who will soon take our places and pass on. Three strikes. Is there enough time to make it right? Three strikes, and you're in. You couldn't trust yourself, and you didn't read the signs, so I got you again for the third time. And now you're mine.


Sometimes When You Lose, You Win (We'll Never Give Up)

I'll hand it to you, you've won again. But I don't care what you say, none of that was fair play. I've been drawn in to your battle and when you think I surrender, I'll just get right back up because I haven't had enough. You have your foot on my throat again. But I'm not as helpless as you seem to be convinced. In the end when you look back and all you have are your trophies; I really hope you believe your life was worth victory. You knocked our faces to the floor, but this is what we live for. I know you want us to quit, but we'll never give up. Watch out. Beware. We took a beating and we don't care. Sometimes when you lose, you win. We'll. Never. Give. Up.


One Foot In Front Of The Other

If dreams were for sale, what would you buy? Would you spend it all to take back that night? I'm left to put one foot in front of the other. Every day I'm asking for some sunlight, I just haven't felt your smile in so long. I must confess, I'm floating anchorless without you here. The lights are down, and it's so close to midnight. There are footsteps in the alleyway right behind you and me. Your scream echoes. A flash of steel exposed, and nothing makes sense. If dreams were for sale, what would you buy? Would you spend it all to take back that night? I'm left to put one foot in front of the other.


The Empire State

No matter how far. No matter, I fall apart. Remember, you came from the stars and you're perfect just the way you are. Once underground, light never hit my face. I took the staircase up and into your embrace. The concrete is hot, warmed by the rays of a thousand suns. I let the memory burn before the moment is gone. On a night somewhere in the big city air. With a scientist in an ambulance. Remember you came from the stars, and you're perfect just the way you are. The lights are flashing; we'll run and never stop. It's only five flights up until we reach the top. So delicate, the gentle truth of our memory. And in the darkest night, I feel your light shining down on me. No matter how far we're apart. No matter, I fall apart. No matter how far, and no matter how long that we are apart, I will always be true.


From This Day Forward (The League Of Tomorrow Battle Hymn)
Our faces are covered in blood from our broken bones. Standing in the front lines of the battle, all alone. We answer the call whether it comes from below or above, in order to protect the ones we love. We don't see truth or justice but we'll hold on to the light we see. So, from this day forward you'll know, from your head down to your toes, that you are a true hero. We don't want to be the ones to take you by the hand, but if no one else can: This is a job for The League Of Tomorrow. Now the streets are covered in thick blue and black shadows. Holding close the secrets that they have that no one knows. A distant battle cry shoots across the sky like lightning. And while you sleep, we'll be the ones fighting. And it seemed so obvious then, that every step I've taken has all led to this statement: This is a job for The League Of Tomorrow.