(except from April 11, 2007 speech)


Ladies and gentlemen, America faces a problem. Our government and those intent to govern have lost sight of our most basic needs. By grandstanding on the issues that garner the most media attention, they have forgotten that YOU get up every morning and face personal challenges that transcend the headlines.

Today, there are some 150 thousand soldiers in Iraq. Meanwhile, there are over 60 million children in United States. There are millions of mothers who have to get their kids to school. There are millions of dads who want their children to succeed.

Am I an oddball? When did it go out of fashion to care about ALL Americans. My campaign is about making life better for EVERYONE. My name is Breakfast and I represent a meal.

Listen to this:

A Harvard University/Massachusetts General Hospital study discovered that students who usually ate school breakfast had improved math grades, reduced hyperactivity, decreased absence and tardy rates, and improved psycho-social behaviors compared with children who rarely ate school breakfast.

A Helsinki University study found that individuals who miss breakfast tend to smoke more, drink more alcohol and take less exercise than those who make time for breakfast.

Another Harvard University study indicated that people who miss breakfast are four times more likely than others to become obese.

Meanwhile...

In 2005, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services in conjunction with the U.S. Department of Agriculture released a document called "Dietary Guidelines for Americans". In the 80 page document, the word "breakfast" was found only 4 times... and in every instance it was part of the words "breakfast cereal".

I have nearly one hundred studies that show how breakfast can dramatically improve our lives. And amazingly, I am the only candidate for President with a policy on the importance of breakfast. Maybe I am naive. There must be a reason why our government is suppressing this information. There must a reason why our Presidential candidates refuse to discuss it.

Well guess what... I'll not only discuss it. I'll scream it to the hills.

My fellow Americans, let's take a moment to reflect on the day ahead. Let us calmly - with our family and friends - consider our options to better our lives and the lives of our neighbors. Let us eat breakfast! Not in our cars with a glorified candy bar, but at our tables with a meal, with an ideal that every morning is the start of a new day and with every new day, there is a new tomorrow.

(Cheers)

Ladies and Gentlemen... I humbly... patriotically... ask for your support... in my bid...

(Cheers)

... to be... the next President of these... of your... United States of America!

Thank you!

(Cheers)

http://www.voteforbreakfast.com

Breakfast With Jesus
By Mr Breakfast

These days when it comes to Jesus appearing in breakfast food, you have to have more faith than ever.  Specifically, you need faith that some clever eBay profiteer hasn't purposefully anointed the Anointed One on a piece of toast or a pancake just to make a buck.

In early February 2006, Mike Thompson of Beachwood, Ohio claimed that the visage of Jesus appeared on a pancake he'd made while preparing breakfast for his family.  Thompson was paraphrased by News Channel 5 of Cleveland, Ohio as saying the image the Lord's face was a sign from above.




He posted the alleged Holy Pancake on eBay with an opening bid of $500.  The bidding reached $14,999.00 before the listing was removed for violating eBay's listing rules.

There is no evidence to suggest that eBay removed the listing because it was fraudulent.  Still, internet message boards ran rampant with accusations that it was Thompson, and not God, who created the image on the pancake.

"This is a scam and this guy is a fraud," read one post.

"Looks more like Osama Bin Laden to me," read another.

One poster joked, "Maybe he has a Jesus fry pan that has an image embedded in the metal so everything cooked will have Jesus on it."  But that joke may be on us.

 The Jesus Pan is real.

"Jesus Pan is made from durable steel and topped with a non-stick coating."  The marketing text on JesusPan.com advertises a pan with an uplifted impression of Jesus that "puts the image of Jesus right on food."

 Is it possible that Thompson's Jesus pancake was a marketing ploy for the Jesus Pan?  It's obvious that the people at JesusPan.com are aware of the reach of eBay.  The site says, "Holy images have been popping up all over... A grilled cheese sandwich with the image of the Virgin Mary sold for over 17-hundred dollars on eBay."

The most impressive evidence that the Thompson pancake may have been created by the Jesus Pan comes from MrBreakfast.com.  The site created a computer overlay of the Thompson pancake and compared it to the Jesus Pan impression.  While not definitive proof, the dimensions of Jesus in the pancake are striking similar to the imprint on the pan.  However, a cross emblazoned on the lower right of the pan beneath Jesus does not appear on the pancake.

When Thompson's listing resurfaced on eBay after the rules violation, the description sounded strangely commercial. "Sorry, the official "Jesus Pancake" was pulled for a listing infraction... I had 150,000 hits and the bidding was up to $15,000. Thank you VERY MUCH for your support! I have been encouraged to put the pancake back up so we'll start at $15,000."

Shortly after the Thompson Jesus pancake made headlines, imitators emerged.  On February 14th, a 33 year old blogger from Newcastle, U.K. by the name of "ILuvNUFC" announced that he'd discovered the kisser of Jesus on a pancake that he'd made.  Unlike Thompson, "ILuvNUFC" admitted that the face might not be that of Jesus.  He noted that it also resembled the mug of porno actor Ron Jeremy.  Be it Jesus or Ron Jeremy, he noted in his blog that he was ready to make money on eBay.

The Thompson pancake itself may be a copycat of sorts.  A week before the Holy Pancake appeared unto him, it was announced that Juan Patrano of Prairie Lea, Texas found the face of Jesus in a frying pan he was washing.   Interestingly, Patrano was washing the pan with the intention of cooking his mother breakfast.  Describing himself as a religious man, Patrano said he is also considering selling his discovery on eBay.

In December of 2005, cooks at the Stadium Club Restaurant in Jacksonville, FL found their Jesus on the bottom of a large pan used to heat water.  They said that the pan had recently been used to warm nacho cheese containers and it's presumed that scorched nacho cheese and mineral deposits from the restaurant's water combined to form the face of the Messiah.  Plans to sell the pan on eBay have yet to be announced.

Perhaps the most famous food-related sighting of religious symbolism in recent times is a likeness of the Virgin Mary that appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich.  Florida resident Diana Duyser discovered the image after she'd taken a bite from the sandwich.  For 10 years, Duyser kept the partially eaten Holy Sandwich in a clear plastic box on her night stand.  In 2004, she sold the sandwich on eBay to GoldenPalace.com, an Internet casino, for $28,000. GoldenPalace.com is the same company that made another well-publicized purchase.  They bought William Shatner's Kidney Stone.

When religious icons begin appearing in breakfast food, there are several ways to make money.  Threadless.com offers t-shits designs with Jesus on toast and the Virgin Mary on pancakes.  One clever eBay seller is selling a piece of toast adorned with an image of Jesus on a pancake.

Would you like to make your own Jesus breakfast item without having to buy a special pan?  Just check out the article "Your Own Personal Jesus Toast" by Eric Gillin.  Available on blacktable.com, Gillin offers step-by-step instructions to paint Jesus on toast by strategically placing butter on bread and grilling it.  Unfortunately, Gillin's Lord resembles Kenny from Comedy Central's South Park more than the Lamb of God.  But these days, even a short Jesus in a parka should garner some "bread" from a well-timed online auction.

Does God place images of His relatives and friends on toast and pancakes?   We may never know until we have a chance to ask Him.  If there is a God that has His hands in the workings of the universe, we know this:  events have conspired to lead us to talk about religion and breakfast.  Beyond all the profiteering and sacrilege, there may be a very important message:  Pay attention to your breakfast.  It's the most important meal of the day.


UPDATE:  THE THOMPSON JESUS PANCAKE IS FRAUDULENT

On March 2nd, 2006, this article was initially published on MrBreakfast.com.  The following day, MrBreakfast received a reply to an inquiry sent to JesusPan.com.  The email read, "Sorry for the delay in responding I HAVE BEEN SWAMPED! Yes this is the product that created the JesusPancake!"  The note was signed by Mike Thompson.

Denny's Scrambled Sensations (Review)
By Mr Breakfast


I went to Denny's this morning and tried all three of their new Scrambled Sensations.  The potions are huge.  The scrambles themselves are modest in size - made with two eggs and bulked up with country-fried potatoes.  When you add in the three hotcakes, the hash browns, two sausage links and two bacon strips, forget about it.  If you can finish the whole thing, you're a better man than me.  I left a good portion of my hotcakes and still spent the next four hours grumbling that I ate too much, vowing I'd eat healthier and exercise more in the future.

Before you conclude that I'm a colossal fatso, let me say that I didn't eat all three of the new platters by myself.  I brought along a small team of taste testers.  We were all in agreement that Denny's new Scrambled Sensations are pretty good.

The Zesty Creole Scrambled Sensation is my favorite of the three varieties.  It has smoked sausage, cheese, onion, peppers, potatoes and a special Creole sauce.  The red sauce has a kick and they used just the right amount to make the dish spicy and unique without masking the flavor of the other ingredients.


 Denny's breakfast menu has been roughly the same for years.  Sure, they add more sausage to things sometimes and offer Super Sausage dishes; they add gravy and create new "Country" dishes; and they're great at changing the colors of waffle and pancake toppings to suit seasons and holidays.  But this is the first time in a long time that they've added a daring new flavor to their breakfast menu and hit a Grand Slam homerun.

   Coming in second place was the Pepper Jack And Smoked Sausage Scrambled Sensation.  The selling point of this dish is the sausage... as smoky tasting as any smoked sausage I've ever had in a restaurant.  It's basically the Creole scramble without the sauce, but there's something about the smoked sausage that permeates the entire scramble and makes it worthy of being called a Sensation.  Just between you and me, I suspect they add a little liquid smoke.  And, there's nothing wrong with that.  A little Lazy Kettle Brand Liquid Smoke can give you similar results at home.


Coming in last place... the lackluster Ham And Jalapeno Skillet Sensation isn't a sensation at all.  The word "jalapeno" suggests that a dish will have a little excitement.  That's not the case here.  One of our taste testers was named Matt.  You don't know him, but he's a pretty good guy.  Anyhow, our waiter placed the Ham And Jalapeno Scramble Sensation in front of Matt.  Matt tasted his scramble and then he began to look around the table at the other dishes.  "Is this the jalapeno one?  It has ham, but I don't think there's any jalapeno."  After a couple of bites, he finally started to sense a hint of jalapeno, but not nearly to the extent that the suggestive word should be used to name the dish.

   The bottom line:  These new Scrambled Sensations are definitely worth a try.  We'd like to see the Creole scramble make the jump to the regular menu.  Bring your appetite.  At $5.99, you get your money's worth.

Olympic Breakfast Heroes
By Mr Breakfast

At the 2006 Winter Olympic Games in Torino, Italy, the physical endurance and dexterity of the world's greatest athletes will be on display.  The television coverage will show many emotional vignettes about what it takes to reach the Olympics, but they'll fail to mention one of the most important ingredients of athletic excellence.  Steroids?  No way!  Our Olympic heroes take a daily dose of healthy breakfast.


    Hannah Teter: Maple Syrup Superstar
Sport/Event:  Snowboarding Halfpipe

Hannah Teter has a secret weapon.  She had it when she took gold in the superpipe at the 2004 Winter X Games.  She had it when she took first place in the U.S. Snowboard Grand Prix.  It's homemade maple syrup... and she has it at the 2006 Olympics in Torino, Italy.

Snowboard enthusiasts know Hannah for her huge amplitude and amped yet peaceful demeanor.  But people who spend hours searching the internet for "Olympic athletes" and "breakfast" know that Hannah is also a rad spokesman for her family's homemade syrup.

Every March, the Teter family gets together to collect sap from their maple trees in Belmont, Vermont.  The sap is then boiled down.  When the temperature of the sap reaches 7 degrees above the boiling point of water and the sugar content reaches 66-67%, it becomes maple syrup.  The Teeter family has a special barn on their land just for producing and storing maple syrup.

 "It just tastes the best. The syrup is the bomb! If you'd ever had it, you'd be like, 'Wow, that's pretty good!' It's just all natural," said Hannah, ""I've consumed it all my life. It's a huge chunk of my life. I grew up with Vermont maple syrup. It makes me strong."

After the Olympics, Hannah Teter Maple Syrup could be a hot commodity... except for one fact.  They don't sell it commercially.  The family's maple syrup is strictly for the family and they eat a lot of it.

Hannah says the syrup is best on homemade pancakes ("It's the breakfast of champions"), but tastes good on anything.

The secret weapon of maple syrup is part of a larger arsenal of food energy that is propelling the 19 year old to Olympic stardom.

When asked if she had any pre-competition rituals, Hannah replied, "Eat a good breakfast".  A good breakfast is a key component to a winning day.

"A good breakfast," she continued, "like a big stack of pancakes with my family's homemade Vermont maple syrup."



Sasha Cohen: Omelet Olympian
Sport/Event:  Women's Figure Skating

During the opening ceremonies of the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, Sasha Cohen sat next to President George W. Bush.  In a picture-perfect moment that captured Sasha's youthful exuberance, she handed her cell phone to the president and asked him to talk to her mother.    It's undocumented what they discussed in the phone conversation, but certain breakfast experts believe they were talking about omelets.

Sasha's mother Galina knows the importance of a good breakfast.   A native of the Ukraine, Galina made her daughter omelets with vegetables for breakfast. Sometimes the young champion would have a bran cracker with her omelet to make her breakfast more complete.

In Torino, Sasha will show the world how she's grown as a skater since the 2002 games.  But behind the scenes, few people will know how she's grown in terms of omelets. Between Olympics, she attended cooking classes at a culinary academy in Laguna Beach, California.  "Breakfast is my specialty," she says, "I cook omelets every morning."

When asked by offthepodium.com if she could have breakfast with anyone who would it be and what she would order, Sasha replied, "Martha Stewart and an egg white omelet."

Sasha also enjoys baking cookies, cakes and soufflés. She even makes truffles.  She gets most of her recipes from the Food Network and it's very possible she could have made the homemade granola recipe that Mr Breakfast presented on the Food Network's "The Secret Life of... Cereal".  In fact Sasha says, "If the Food Network were looking to have me on a show, I'd be into that - it would definitely be fun."

Sasha's eating habits haven't changed much since her mother introduced her to omelets.  The focus has always been on health.  Her morning routine: "I wake up around 7:30, get dressed, do my make up and have a healthy breakfast."

 According to the MCG Sports Medicine Center in Augusta, GA, Sasha is on track for gold in the Olympics of nutrition.  The center advises athletes to eat breakfast everyday to refuel muscle energy sources that are low in the morning.



Georg Hackl (Germany):  Reluctant Breakfast Hero
Sport/Event:  Luge

If you're watching the Olympics and the announcer says, "Here comes the Speeding White Sausage."  Don't let your mouth water too much.  He's not talking about a real sausage, but rather a large German man on a streamlined sled.

Alternately referred to as the "Flying White Sausage", Georg Hackl is already a Luge legend with three gold medals and two silver medals.  His nickname comes from the way he squeezes his bulky body into his skin-tight racing suit.  It's also considered a nod to his Bavarian roots and the region's traditional breakfast food.

Unfortunately, Georg Hackl doesn't like being called a sausage.  He's rumored to have filed a lawsuit over it, charging that the nickname is derogatory and hurtful to his image.



 
Michelle Kwan (Figure Skating):  Two hard-boiled eggs or oatmeal with fruit

Gretchen Bleiler (Snowboarding):  Chocolate pancakes

Caroline Hallisey (Speed skating): Yogurt, cereal and some juice

Shaun White (Snowboarding):  Scrambled eggs (Shaun cooks for himself most of the time when he's on the road)

Julia Mancuso (Alpine Skiing): French toast

Tricia Stumpf (Skeleton):  3 eggs (only one egg yolk), juice and banana

Courtney Zablocki (Luge):  "I always want to have the waffles and the pancakes or whatever else they have out, but you have to realize that you're going to go work out afterwards. I usually try not to eat too much, just the basic breakfast, some eggs and some toast."

Chad Hedrick (Speed Skating): Mexican burrito with cheese, salsa and Jimmy Dean sausage*


*Chad Hedric never made a direct reference to the mentioned breakfast.  The information was derived by a statement he made to offthepodium.com, "If I could have breakfast with anyone it would be Lance Armstrong because he is also a Texan."  In the January 2006 issue of Self Magazine Sheryl Crow (Lance Armstrong's then love interest) was quoted as saying, "When Lance and I cook at home, we make a Mexican burrito for breakfast with cheese, salsa and Jimmy Dean sausage."  So it stands to reason that if Hedric ate breakfast with Armstrong he would also eat a Mexican burrito for breakfast.


Sources:

For Hannah Teter:  The Times Herald-Record, The Rutland Herald, The Burlington Free Press, The Miami Herald, usaweekend.com, nbcolympics.com, offthepodium.com and usolympicteam.com.

For Sasha Cohen: SashaCohen.com teenfx.com, offthepodium.com and usolympicteam.com.

For The Speeding Sausage: 7days.ae and nbcolympics.com.

Additional Sources: Matt Luebbers' Guide To Swimming, The United States Olympic Committee, Sports Illustrated for Women and Sports Illustrated For Kids.

I was excited to try this cereal.  Cinnamon Life cereal has a firm hold on the #2 spot in my list of favorite cereals. I was ready to shake up my top five to fit in this new cereal.  Unfortunately, Vanilla Yogurt Crunch Life comes closer to my bottom five favorite cereals than my top five.

The problem is with the "crunchy oat clusters covered with creamy vanilla flavored yogurt".  The main cereal pieces (or "Life biscuits" as they're called on the box) are relatively unchanged:  same great shape; same unique milk absorption; and same basic Life flavor.

 I wish I liked the yogurt oat clusters because there's quite a few of them (especially when compared to similar new cereals).  But the hard fact is that they taste kind of musty... kind of old.  This is a harsh comparison I know, but they have the spirit of mothballs.  They're sweet.  I'll give them that.  But there's something just a little off about them and the flavor (which is very short on vanilla by the way) gets infused into the "biscuits".  My morning bowl of Vanilla Yogurt Crunch Life tasted as if the box had been left open in my pantry for months.

   Let this be no reflection on the texture.  The "clusters" do maintain their promised crunch and the "biscuits" are what we're used to.  My complaint is strictly a flavor issue.

I had a friend try some of this new cereal.  She liked it at first and said, "I like it… perfect light amount of sweetness.  I like the yogurt clusters.  They taste... nutty."

With no prodding from Mr Breakfast, a few bites later she said, "But there's something weird about them."

In the case of this new cereal, you'd be better off taking original Life cereal and adding your own yogurt covered raisins or nuts.

Original Grape-Nuts is my favorite cereal.  I like to let it set in the milk for a minute and get slightly soggy.  The texture is unique among cereals - a sort of friendly, crunchy mush. The taste of the original is nutty and wholesome.  It's almost like somewhere on a sunny dry field on a mystic farm in the Midwest, you could shake a wonderful Grape-Nuts bush or tree and fill your bowl directly with nuggets from the land.

 So, I was very excited to see a new variation of Grape-Nuts: Trail Mix Crunch.

 Let's read from the box and we'll both get excited.  Ready?

"First, we start with a new nugget.  It has a lighter crunch than the regular Grape-Nuts nugget.  Then, we add naturally sweet raisins, tasty oat clusters, almonds, fiber sticks, and a touch of honey for just the right amount of sweetness."

Are you excited?  You know you are.  You love it.  Mmmm... crunchy.   Sweet… yeah, that's it baby.  A touch of honey.  Not too hard now.  Now... now... give me the fiber stick!

   First the negative... the box is deceptive.  There are not nearly as many raisins and almond slivers in each spoonful as the box would have you believe.  When you take the first bite of the new cereal (with milk), there's a differential in textures that doesn't make immediate sense to your mouth.  The raisin is soft (there was one lonely raisin in my first bite).  The nuggets are hard.  Our mouths are used to raisins with flakes - two textures that are remotely comparable.

    Now the positive... as the cereal absorbs more milk, that texture differential dissipates and each spoonful feels more even to the mouth.  As for taste, this is a good cereal.  The addition of honey gives the new Grape-Nuts more of a "honey graham" flavor.  There's no denying the flavor presence of the original cereal (good news to original Grape-Nuts fans), but this is a new taste.  When Special K chucks strawberry flavor into their cereal, you get "special K with strawberry flavor", but the addition of new ingredients to Grape-Nuts somehow transforms it into a new entity... a new taste.  I could imagine this cereal being sold without the Grape-Nuts association and still being successful... simply as "Trail Mix Crunch Cereal".

    One 1/2 cup serving with 1/2 cup of fat-free milk has 220 calories, 0 saturated fats, 0 trans fat, 90% of your daily iron requirement, 0 cholesterol and 5 grams of dietary fiber.

It's a healthy and tasty cereal. I liked it a touch less than the original, but that's a smidgen less than perfection.

Give it a try.  You know you want to.  You know you want to taste it... just a nibble... mmm... mmmm... that's it baby... sweet enough for you...  how about some CRUNCH!... Yeah baby!  Crunch it!  CRUNCH IT!  OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow.  This grapefruit thing is working.

I haven't really changed my diet that much except for adding 1/2 grapefruit each day... and maybe opting for wholegrain breads instead of white or plain wheat.  As a matter of fact, last night at 3AM I made a grilled cheese sandwhich.  And my activity level... forget about it... I've been so busy that walking to the store for grapefruit has been been only excercize.

But this morning I stepped on the scale and I'm down nearly 5 pounds since starting this grapefruit thing two weeks ago.

Thank you  Grapefruit - my new best buddy.

Five more pounds to go and all that holiday fat will be history.  "See ya next year Fatso,"  I say to myself inthe mirror.

"Fatso" - such a childish word - but still one of the worst cut-downs you can give someone.  The few times I get mad and call someone a "F#$%er," I should always remember how much more effective "fatso" is.

Have a great breakfast tomorrow,
Mr Breakfast
http://www.mrbreakfast.com

Citrus Vanilla French Toast - 1/2 teaspoon of oarnge zest and a couple drops of vanilla in the egg mixture makes it "Citrus Vanilla".  I used the Sara Lee White Wheat Bread... I love it... very absorbent.

Also featured... Morning Star Veggie Bacon and a yellow grapefruit and seedless green grape fruit salad.

And of course.. coffee!

Silver Spoon Restaurant (West Hollywood, CA) - Vegetable Fritata with Whole Wheat Tortilla, Salsa and Fresh Fruit.  Delicious as always!

What did you have for breakfast today?

Just got back from the Sundance Film Festival.  It's beautiful up there.  Tons and tons of Hollywood goofnuts (of which I may be one), but once you get past that the snow was great and if you get away from Main street, there's great little ski lodges to grab a comforable scotch and soda.

Hit a bunch of parties.  Highlight was sitting in Liz Phair's soundcheck.  She was awesome and did a bunch of tracks from her first two CDs (my favs) and her new stuff (which I didn't care for at first) sounded great accoustically.

Celeb sightings:  Nick Nolte (trashed), Timothy Hutton, Steward Copeland  (from Police), Kevin smith (buying Vicks Humidifier at RideAid and looking like he had a nasty cold) and Joe Pantalone.

I was on the lookout for great new breakfast restaurants, but everything was so damn crowded with industry people... with the exception of a crappy microwaved eggs sandwhich from a cafe, I mostly cooked breakfast in our cottage.