Happy Memorial Day!!!

A day to remember those patriots who sacrificed their lives for our great country by drinking beer and eating barbeque!!  Actually I don't drink beer, but I do like barbeque so I guess I'm only half celebrating.

I learned something new this week, it's easier to cut through meat sometimes than fat.  I was preparing (in preparation for Memorial Day of course) a roast beast brisket.  I'm not sure exactly what kind of beast it was as the 18 wheeler that hit it left it pretty mangled, but the brisket at least was still intact. It definitely had hooves, so I think it's either a large deer or a small horse (how's that for a galloping gourmet?).

Now I know that some people turn up their noses at road kill, but if you get it while it's fresh it's better quality meat than that at the supermarket, plus it comes pre-tenderized!  Or so I thought.  Anyway, I'm trying to cut up this brisket of beast to fit in my crock pot, the meat part I cut through easily enough, but then I get to the fat.  After dulling three of those knives that are supposed to be able to cut through a steel I-beam and then still slice a tomato so thin that you can read my latest blog entry through it and breaking the handle out of my wood splitting maul, I finally opted for the chain saw.

Now if you ever have the opportunity to cut up a brisket of beast on your kitchen countertop with a chainsaw, don't, I tried it and I don't think you would like it.  Oh, I got the brisket cut up alright, but I made a blood spatter pattern across my kitchen ceiling and walls that I doubt any of the CSI folks have ever seen the likes of before, and there are millions of tiny globulets of fat stuck in between the cooling coils on the back of my refrigerator.  Oh well, at least it will keep the cat busy for awhile.

Anyway, I did get it into the crock pot, and it turned out quite good if I do say so myself.  Plus I slow cooked it for five hours which gave me time to paint over the blood spatters in the kitchen while I was waiting.  Anyone want to join me for a Memorial Day feast of roast brisket of beast?

However we choose to celebrate the three day weekend that usher's in summer, let us always remember the sacrifice of those who gave their lives that we my enjoy it in freedom.  Jesus Himself said:

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.
John 15:13 NKJV

And He certainly showed that level of love for us by His own example.  Let us also remember always that the battlefields of Iraq and Afghanistan are but a part of a larger war that we all are (or at least should be) fighting on a daily basis.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.  Ephesians 6:12 KJV

There is a spiritual war going on, and we each are called to stand up, put on our armor, and get into the fight. We don't need pew warmers, we need warrior princes and princesses to go out and fight this war on a daily basis.  Expanding a bit, that passage from Ephesians reads:

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel, For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.  Ephesians 6:10-20 KJV

As Paul asks of you, so do I.  Remember our fallen brothers and sisters and their families.  Pray for those now risking their lives to fight for us in Iraq and Afghanistan and their families.  Pray also for our brothers and sisters in China and the Sudan who are sacrificing their lives for their faith.  Pray also for me, then don your armor and join me in the fight.

And if you've never given your heart to Jesus as your Lord and Savior, if you've never acquired the helmet of salvation here's your chance.  Someday you'll get to exchange it for a crown of righteousness.

© 2007

My 17 year old son Bill shaved his head this week.  It's a football thing, he doesn't like having much hair under his helmet and has worn a buzz cut for years.  But this year several other players got their hair buzzed, and always wanting to be different (I wonder where he gets that from?) he appropriated a razor and proceeded to use it on a part of his head that was never meant to see the light of day.

I first heard about it through the grapevine, which is where I tend to get most of my information about my children nowadays.  Bill was at school at the time so I called his sister Andrea who is in college and asked her if Bill had shaved his head and she said "Yes, and Daddy, it looks horrible!!"  He stopped by the house the next morning and it did look strange.  Actually it wouldn't have looked too bad if he had a tan on it, but as it was his face and neck were tan and the rest of his head was a very unique pale shade of blue.  But that's fitting I guess because his football team's colors are blue and gold, so his head will still sort of match his uniform when he takes his helmet off.  If all else fails, at least he'll be color coordinated.

He was the first on his team to shave his head, and that seems to be important to him.  We all like to be first sometimes, but I'm not sure that's a good thing.  We say "The early bird gets the worm," but what does the early worm get?  EATEN!!!  Maybe the moral to that story is that if you're a worm to begin with, it's better to sleep in and be lazy.

I've also heard that it's the second mouse that gets the cheese from the mousetrap.  I wish that would work at my house, I think that my mice have been studying Kung Fu in order to improve their reflexes and be able to steal the cheese from the trap before it  springs. That's it, I know their secret now, I have Shaolin mice!!!  "Grasshopper: When you can snatch the cheese from my trap, then you will be ready."  My poor cat has gotten her butt kicked so many times, I think she holds the traps open for them now.  Does anybody know of a Dojo that accepts Himalayans?

Churches are also notorious for wanting to be first. Everywhere you go, there's a First Baptist, a First Methodist, a First Presbyterian, a First Reformed Church of the Apostolic Hermeneutic Creationist Twice Removed.  One friend told me recently that she thought there was a denomination called "First Baptist" because there is First Baptist Church in every town, I guess that's what I get for asking a Methodist out to dinner.   I've been to several of the "First" churches over the years and some of them are really great churches. Others, however, would be more appropriately named First Hypocritical Church and Country Club, FHC&CC, but I doubt that any of their boards of deacons will ever approve the name change.

They are just TOO hung up on being FIRST sometimes to remember what Jesus really taught.  But they're not in bad company, Jesus' Apostles did the same thing.

Then He came to Capernaum. And when He was in the house He asked them, "What was it you disputed among yourselves on the road?" But they kept silent, for on the road they had disputed among themselves who would be the greatest. And He sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, "If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all."  Mark 9:33-35

Jesus taught this repeatedly throughout the Gospels, as again in

"So the last will be first, and the first last. For many are called, but few chosen."  Matthew 20:16

The people in all of these "First" churches seem to have missed this point, so I have decided to start my own church, and in the spirit of being multi-denominational, I'm calling it simply "Last Christian Church."  Coming soon to a web browser near you.

In the mean time though, if you'd like to begin a close, personal relationship with Jesus and learn more about His teachings, just click here:

© 2007

The winter's bitter cold is now behind us
And every springtime blossom seems to be calling out my name
I wonder how I ever let bad memories hold me down
It's time to put them all behind and get back in the game

I wanna get high on the sunshine
Enchanted by the moonlight
To dance with all the raindrops as the thunder plays a tune
I want to ride the mighty river
To fall in love with summer
And be swept away by a stolen kiss on a Sunday afternoon
I just hope autumn doesn't come too soon.

I've spent too much time longing after lost loves
But like the winter's frost the pain has melted all away
I know that I'm not promised a tomorrow
So I want to make the most of every moment here today

I wanna get high on the sunshine
Enchanted by the moonlight
To dance with all the raindrops as the thunder plays a tune
I want to ride the mighty river
To fall in love with summer
And be swept away by a stolen kiss on a Sunday afternoon
I just hope autumn doesn't come too soon.

Now you've captivated my imagination
You've helped me see beyond the pain that held me down so long
I thank the Lord for everything He's given me today
Especially these feelings that I know now can't be wrong

I wanna get high on the sunshine
Enchanted by the moonlight
To dance with all the raindrops as the thunder plays a tune
I want to ride the mighty river
To fall in love forever
And be swept away by every stolen kiss on a Sunday afternoon
I know that autumn never comes too soon.

So don't you wanna get high on the sunshine
Enchanted by the moonlight
To dance with all the raindrops as the thunder plays a tune
Don't you want to ride the mighty river
To fall in love forever
And be swept away by every stolen kiss on a Sunday afternoon
With summer we can always be attune

© 2007

I would like to wish a very happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there.

I had privilege a couple of weeks ago to listen to a preacher friend make some remarks at his own Mother's funeral.  The preacher is Bro. Eddie Boutwell, the pastor of Unity Baptist Church between Mantachie, MS and Saltillo, MS, he is the son of Mrs. Catherine and Bro. Elbert Boutwell who was the pastor of Boguefala Baptist Church in Mooreville, MS for quite a number of years and is now retired.  The Boutwell family has been a great blessing to me and my family over the years, and still are.  Mrs. Catherine is a great lady, and I do purposely say "is" because I know that she has only gone home to be with the Lord and that we'll see her again someday.  It was very touching how Bro. Eddie used humorous stories about his Mother to illustrate what a great lady she is, and with his permission I have included a small portion of his remarks here:

"I never could look at her if I had an occasion to preach while she was in the auditorium, in the audience, or in the congregation because she would raise her eyebrows.  I didn't know if that meant that I was preaching too long or if I had said something wrong or what it was and I don't know how Daddy preached all those years, I think he finally just ignored her. I heard her say one time that if Daddy ever said 'Now in closing . . .' she told the ladies  'That don't mean you can go ahead and put your shoes back on.'  That's the kind of lady she was. 

"And she heard that one of our state representatives had used some foul language, what she considered foul language, now she had a different standard than some folks.  And she heard that on the news that he had used some bad language during one of the sessions.  And she wrote him a letter and included in that letter a bar of soap, and told him to wash his mouth with that soap."

Bro. Grover Laird pointed out later in the service that Psalm 116:15 says

Precious in the sight of the LORD Is the death of His saints.

So I have no doubt that all of Heaven rejoiced at the homecoming of Mrs. Catherine Boutwell and her sister together, hand in hand.  Oh, how my heart yearns within me . . .  Job 19:27

It takes a very special lady to be a preacher's wife.  I should know, because I've watched my own Mother be that all my life, and like Mrs. Catherine, she's very good at it.  We always lived in a glass house and had to walk on egg shells, and me being the rebellious black sheep type that I was didn't make her life any easier.  One Sunday morning after everybody else left for church I lined the hallway of the parsonage with poppers, little firecrackers that explode when you step on them or throw them against some hard surface like say, my sister's head.  And of course it had to be that particular Sunday morning that two of the dear ladies of the church decided to walk through the parsonage and ended up doing the Mexican Hat Dance from the hallway all the way out the front door.  No one was injured though, and I don't think I really got in too much trouble for that one.

Then there was the time I decided that the cake Mom was baking would be so much better if it had corn chips in it, so I crumbled a few handfuls into the batter when she wasn't looking.  I guess it's a good thing that the deacon and his wife she served it to that night after church liked corn chips and had a sense of humor, and of course it doesn't hurt that Mom always has been the forgiving type.

But though some of my escapades were a bit more serious, like the song says "Jesus and Mama always loved me, even when the devil took control" and I do thank God for both of them and my Dad, because none of them ever gave up on me.  So thanks Mom (and Dad and Jesus) for always being there for me even when the going got tough.

If the Lord tarries His coming, Mom and Dad will be celebrating their 50^th wedding anniversary this August.  I've included at the bottom of the page some photos of them, the first two are from my Dad's 1957 yearbook from Jacksonville Baptist College, Jacksonville, Texas where they first met, and where of course she was the Most Beautiful and he was Mr. J.B.C.  My Mom wrote to Dad in that yearbook (among other things):

Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:  Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.   Ruth 1:16-17

The funny thing about that scripture is that Ruth didn't say it to her husband but to her mother-in-law, but one thing that all three of my ex-wives have in common  . . . . they had a REALLY GREAT mother-in-law!!!  I hope to have one as good someday.  Thanks again Mom, I love you.  Happy Mother's Day!!!

Bro. Eddie, I don't know if Mrs. Catherine can read this from Heaven or not, but if she is, I hope she's not raising her eyebrows.

And there's one message that I'm sure both my Mom and Mrs. Catherine would want to tell all of you today, if you haven't already established a close, personal relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ, there's no better time to start than this Mother's Day.

 

© 2007

What on Earth are you doing for Heaven's sake?

We sing the songs.  "We'll work, til Jesus comes, we'll work . . ."

or  "Bringing in the sheaves, bringing in the sheaves, we shall come rejoicing, bringing in the sheaves."

When I was a kid I thought they were singing "Bringing in the Sheep."   At least that's what I sang, in a loud, high pitched, shrieking voice that could wake up dogs at least two counties away.  Hey, it made good sense to a four year old that couldn't read yet, after all they taught me in Sunday School that Jesus is the Good Shepherd and we are the sheep of His pasture.  At least it's not as bad as one ex-wife who used to think Creedance Clearwater Revival had a song that said "There's a Bathroom on the Right."  ("There's a Bad Moon on the Rise" for those of you not cultured enough to be CCR fans.)  But I digress.

Then of course there's "Let us labor for the Master from the dawn to setting sun . . ."

The problem is that the vast majority of "Christians" believe that laboring for the Master from the dawn to setting sun means warming a church pew with their behinds for about an hour on Sunday mornings.  If you watch them sometime, you can probably see the only labor they are actually performing is laboring to keep their eyelids open.  Then of course there are those who give their neck muscles a really good work out in church, you know, letting their chin drop to their chest then snapping their head back up quickly.  Its fast becoming the new great American workout craze, watch for "The Rev. Coy P. Feelgood's Aerobic Neck Workout" video coming soon to DVD and VHS, available for a donation of only $50.00 (plus shipping and handling).  Or for a $100.00 donation you can get the deluxe version that comes with the special prayer and sweat towel, prayed, sweated, and cried over personally by Rev. Feelgood himself and guaranteed to give you instantaneous healing if you should strain a neck muscle.

Jesus said

"The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest."  Matthew 9:37-38.

I'm sorry, friends, but warming a church pew with a lukewarm behind is not labor.

Now ladies, I do understand that getting TO the church on Sunday morning can be labor, especially if you're married with children.  You have to get up, make sure everybody gets fed and that the breakfast remnants are at least reasonably scraped up off the floor (and the children), make sure all the kids are properly groomed and have on clothes that match, and make sure the husband is properly groomed and has on clothes that match.  "Honey, does this green camouflage tie go with my brown camouflage blazer?"  Then of course you have to dress yourself, put on your make up, and REAL kicker - -  do the HAIR.

Now, for any of you guys who have never seen the hair process before, it is absolutely amazing and oftentimes scary.  I have three ex-wives, three ex-step daughters, and two daughters of my own; I've seen this process countless times and it never ceases to amaze and many times scare me anyways.  First of all, there are the tools.  Just as we guys have tool boxes full of wrenches, screw drivers, saws, drills, etc., they have a very serious assortment of tools just for the hair.  They have blow driers of course, but then they have four different sizes of curling irons, three sets of hot rollers, hair straighteners that clamp the hair between two flat surfaces that get almost as hot as the surface of the sun, various combs, brushes, picks, sprays, gels, mousses, and hand mirrors.  At least two of my ex-wives couldn't travel anywhere without two full sized suitcases just for the hair tools.

So they curl the hair, then they spray it.  Then they straighten the hair, then apply some mousse.  Then they tease the hair, straighten it again, curl it again, then apply some of that foam that firefighters use to put out fires with, probably because all the heat from the hot rollers, curling irons, and straighteners have gotten it close to spontaneous combustion by now.    Then they straighten it some more, curl it some more, spray it some more, tease it some more, and repeat ad infinitum.  One of my daughters even had one of her girlfriends iron her hair with a clothes iron to straighten it once.   The entire process usually takes a couple of hours, and at the end of it all I'm just truly amazed and thankful to Almighty God that they have any hair left.  Someone asked Dolly Parton once how long it took to do her hair before a performance and she said "I don't know, I'm usually not there when they do it." 

But finally she is done, and I really can't tell the difference between the final result and the first attempt at curling from an hour and fifty minutes ago, but of course I can never tell her that.  The combination of heat and the chemicals sprayed and splashed around everywhere has peeled the paint off of the bathroom wall, corroded all of the bathroom fixtures, eaten several large holes in the linoleum, and polluted both the aquifer and the ozone later irreparably, but doesn't she look beautiful!!!  Her hair is truly a veritable masterpiece of artistic expression . . . .

which lasts for about fifteen minutes, then falls flat right as we're pulling into the church parking lot.  I don't know, maybe she really needs a nap during the preaching service after all of that.  And the Bible does say

But if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering. 1 Corinthians 11:15

But back to the point, sitting in church is not laboring for the Master.  Sitting in church, hopefully ACTIVELLY listening to the sermon is where we are getting fed, getting our batteries recharged spiritually so that we can GO OUT of the church and labor for the Master OUT IN THE WORLD for the rest of the week.  People get all hung up on "What Would Jesus Do?" Like, "Would Jesus have the fries or the baked potato?" when the more important questions are "What DID Jesus Do?", and "What DID Jesus TELL US TO DO?"

From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, "Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand."  Matthew 4:17

Jesus told us to "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Amen.  Matthew 28:19-20

I don't see anything in there about pew warming or aerobic neck excercises.  Jesus also said

"Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.  Who then is a faithful and wise servant, whom his master made ruler over his household, to give them food in due season?  Blessed is that servant whom his master, when he comes, will find so doing.  Assuredly, I say to you that he will make him ruler over all his goods.  But if that evil servant says in his heart, 'My master is delaying his coming,' and begins to beat his fellow servants, and to eat and drink with the drunkards, the master of that servant will come on a day when he is not looking for him and at an hour that he is not aware of, and will cut him in two and appoint him his portion with the hypocrites. There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth."  Matthew 24:44-51

"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.  Many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!'"  Matthew 7:21-23

"I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth." Revelation 3:15-16

I don't know about you, but when He does come (and I believe that He's coming soon) I plan to be doing more than just LOOKING busy.  So, just what on Earth are you doing for Heaven's sake?  And if you don't already have a truly personal relationship with Him, here's your chance:

© 2007

"Pain is weakness leaving the body." 

 I read that on Carla's page and it got me to thinking, which is always a dangerous thing, kind of like trying to put out a fire by pouring gasoline on it.  My friend Dave who has a Ph.D. in chemistry always claimed that would work, but only if you pour the gasoline on the fire really fast.  Somehow I've always known I'm not THAT fast without ever having to actually try it.  Redneck famous last words: "Hey ya'll!!! Watch this!!!"  But alas, Dave's no longer with us and he did die from setting fires, only he used butane to light them on the end of cigarettes.

My own headline comes from Friedrich Nietzsche, who said "That which does not kill us makes us stronger," which obviously proves that Freddy had never been married.  If he had been, he probably would have said something like "She who makes me want to kill myself could never be wronger" or "If I don't kill her today, she'll probably whine longer."  But we can only surmise.

I know all about pain (at least two of my ex-wives are carriers), and if either of those statements are true I should be able to dead lift say a small cruise ship by now.   And even when I do go to the gym to try to get stronger, I am constantly beleaguered by the weightlifter's mantra: "No Pain, No Gain."  Gold's Gym: the only place where intentionally hurting yourself can actually make you feel better!!!

So maybe pain is a good thing.  God sure seems to think so, as He quite often uses it as a motivational tool.  Like when He says in Isaiah 48:10:

Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.

or in Romans 8:18

For I RECKON that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

which is the scripture by which we know that the Apostle Paul was a Southerner.

Pain does of course motivate us, and it is usually to get us to stop doing something stupid we were doing in the first place. Things like chugging straight tequila through a funnel or putting out fires with gasoline, the two of which kind of go hand in hand now that I think about it.

It seems to me that practically everyone I meet online either is going through or has just gone through some form of pain.  I can relate.  God definitely uses our pain to teach us things.  I was reading in my daily devotional "My Utmost for His Highest" a few weeks ago, and it addressed this topic.  It said that when you see a brother or sister suffering through some sort of painful trial,  don't pray that their pain be taken away, pray that they learn whatever it is God is trying to teach them through that pain, and that through that pain they become stronger.  So I guess that there really is something to those statements after all. 

Just like the song on my page says, "He never promised that the cross would not be heavy or the hill would not be hard to climb."  But He does promise that

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  2 Corinthians 12:9

and

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Philippians 4:13

God also promises that for those of us who have a personal relationship with Him through His Son Jesus there will come a time when pain is gone. 

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."  Revelation 21:4

But He also promises that those who do not have a proper relationship with Him will suffer eternal pain.

So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come forth, separate the wicked from among the just, and cast them into the furnace of fire. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth.  Matthew 13:49-50

So which section would you like to be seated in, smoking or non-smoking?

© 2007

Dreamscape

Through endless nights of fitful sleep
Our wond'ring minds their vigil keep
With thoughts so shallow, yet so deep
Conforming into dreams

And when these nightly visions rise
What do we see with sleeping eyes
But things that tempt and tantalize
Our waking lives it seems

These dreams are oftentimes of such
Our hearts, our souls desire so much
A soft caress, a lover's touch
A midnight fantasy

When fantasies and dreams collide
We feel the longing deep inside
Then floating on the rising tide
Of passion we will be

And all throughout the night we feel
An inner warmth that seems so real
Our countenance can scarce conceal
Emotions, raw, yet sweet

Until the rising of the sun
Alas, the fantasy is done
We waken searching for the one
In fantasies we meet

Then all throughout our waking day
Our thoughts are haunted by the way
Brief glimpses of this dreamscape play
And peace from our minds keep

Til once again we face the night
With moonbeam, lamp, or candlelight
And fantasy again invite
To dream, perchance to sleep

© 2002

I have a very pretty friend here on myspace that told me not long ago that:

"Oh....looks can be so deceiving. You should know this. Pretty girls have snakes in their heads....lol." 

Well, I've pondered this as a question a lot lately because I'm not too sure that it's true.  I've been married more than once and have dated several other pretty ladies over the years, so I do have some experiences to draw from.  One of my ex'es in particular is extremely pretty and I know for a fact that she doesn't have snakes in her head.  She does have sharks, piranhas, alligators, spiders, komodo dragons, fire ants, scorpions, killer bees, wasps, termites, crocodiles, and hornets, but no snakes.  Snakes are afraid to go in there.  I do think I saw the Loch Ness Monster in there once, but I'm not really sure, whatever it was was gone by the time I was able to get out the video camera. 

But back to point, I was raised in the old school that says girls are made of sugar and spice and every thing nice, while it was us boys who are made of snakes (along with snails and the occasional puppy dog tail).  Or you could of course take the Biblical viewpoint that God made man from the dust of the Earth and subsequently made woman from man's rib, which perhaps would explain why most every time I kiss a pretty lady I get a distinct craving for barbeque sauce. 

And of course there is always the issue of why do you ladies always get not one but TWO extra letters?  For example, I am a man, you are a WO-man, I am a male, you are a FE-male.  If you recall the Bible story, God created the heavens, the earth, the light, the sun, the moon, the stars, the firmament, the plants, the animals, the fish of the seas, the fowls of the air, and all of the creeping things, and at every stage of creation, He looked at it, and said it was GOOD.  Then He created man.  And said "It is NOT GOOD . . . . that man should be alone," so He created woman.  I believe she was called woman because when Adam woke up and took one look at her, he said "WHOA!!! MAN!!!" but the Bible is not really clear on this point. 

Now, there are those that say God created man before woman because He wanted to make a practice run before performing His ULTIMATE creation, woman.  I believe, however, that He created woman second because when He created man, He didn't want anybody telling Him how to do it.

I think I have also figured out the male/female thing: if you want this male, you can have me for free, but if I want that male, there's a FEE involved.  Now Adam was married to the prettiest girl on the entire Earth (we know this because she was actually the ONLY girl on the entire Earth at the time), and the Bible does tell us that she allowed the snake to get inside of her head which is why she proceeded to become the first woman to eat her husband out of house and home.

I am reminded of the line from the movie "As Good As It Gets" when Jack Nicholson's  charactor is asked how he writes women charactors so well in his novels, he replies "I think of a man, then I take away reason and accountability."

Being among other things a mathematician, I have been able to reduce this whole question to a mathematical derivation:

In order to get a woman, a man has to spend both time and money, so from a man's point of view

woman = time * money

now we all know that time is money, or

time = money

so that

woman = money * money

or

woman = money²

but the Bible also tells us that money is the root of all evil, or

money = SQRT(evil)

which gives us finally

woman = (SQRT(evil))²

which simplifies to

woman = evil

Snakes apparently are optional.

All kidding aside, though, the Bible does say

Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned—  Romans 5:12

Apparently Paul lets Eve off the hook there when he says "through one MAN sin entered the world," but the "all sinned" part applies to both genders. It also says

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 6:23

Which says in a nutshell that in order to avoid the duly earned consequences of our sins which is eternal death and separation from God in Hell, we each individually must turn our lives over completely to Jesus as our Savior and as the Lord of our lives with absolutely nothing held back.  If you've never done this, there's no better time than the present . . .

© 2007

They are calling the shootings at Virginia Tech the worse shooting in US history, and whoever they are, they're probably right. I was close to one of this type of shootings once, it happened about half a block from the apartment where I lived on the east coast of central Florida. Some nut started shooting people in the parking lot of a Publix grocery store. There was a citizen there who saw what was going on and tried to stop it. He ran to his truck, pulled out a gun, leaned across the top of his truck to brace himself, took aim at the shooter . . . .

and proceeded to shoot seven holes in the top of his own truck. The shooter never even knew he was there. Now, I believe in gun control, but my definition of gun control is hitting what you aim at, and that takes practice. The shooters both in Florida and VT obviously practiced gun control, as they hit a lot of what they were aiming at. It's just too bad that there wasn't a competent citizen in either place who actually practiced gun control and had a gun available at the time. But enough on that. The real lesson we should learn is that no one of us is promised a tomorrow. We should all live our lives in such a way that we treat others the way we would want to be treated, and especially that we keep our relationship with God in its proper perspective. Remember to pray for the parents, families, and friends of the students and teachers who died at VT last week, and remember to pray for the family of the shooter too. It's difficult to imagine what they are going through.

© 2007

I wonder how many a fair lady today is looking for the proverbial knight in shining armor to come riding up on his great white stallion and rescue her from all of her troubles, to protect her from all harm, and to live happily ever after together.  I suspect that most do, even if they refuse to admit it, even to themselves.  I also suspect that most men want to be that knight as well.  But the ladies today don't seem to remember the entire fairy tale, only the triumph of good over evil at the end.  They don't seem to remember the part where the villain knocks the knight off of his horse, captures the fair lady, and locks her away in the tower in the first place.  They don't remember all of the many adversities that only through extreme persistence does the knight after many trials and tribulations finally overcome to accomplish this rescue.   It is not the fact that he eventually accomplishes the rescue that makes him a hero, but that his love of truth, honor, justice, God and country, and especially for the fair lady herself enables him to keep getting up every time he gets knocked down and to keep fighting for her.  The ladies today also seem to forget that when he does accomplish the rescue, his armor is no longer shining but dented, tarnished, and bloody from all of the battles he fought and sacrifices he made to rescue her.  They also fail to remember that often the fair lady herself has to step up to the plate and become the heroine, a warrior princess who through her own bravery and resourcefulness protects the knight's back as he battles overwhelming odds to rescue her.   I do still believe in the fairy tale, complete with the happily ever after.  But I believe that it takes two partners, the warrior prince and the warrior princess who each don their armor, shining or not, to battle side by side against any adversities that life throws against them.

© 2006

We all grew up believing in Fairy Tales
Where the prince rescued the princess and rode away
On a great white stallion off into the sunset
And lived happily ever after for all their days . . .

But life doesn't always work out like Fairy Tales
When the fires of passion fade to ashes grey
And although we try in vain to fan the dying coals
We can never rekindle what has burned away . . .

Now I know that I promised you a Fairy Tale
I promised you the moon and the stars above
But somehow somewhere that Fairy Tale got twisted
And ended in broken hearts and a dying love . . .

So I'm sorry for the things I said that hurt you
I'm sorry for things I did and things I failed to do
And I know I can't reclaim the past, but Baby if I could
I'd turn back the hands of time to be with you . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

So don't ask me now if I belive in Fairy Tales
Because it doesn't matter what you say or do
Tonight I'll see you in our dreams, 'cause only in our dreams . . . .
Do Fairy Tales . . . . .
Ever come true . . . . . . . . . . .

© 1998

The face of an angel surrounded by the warm glow of evening
Soft lights flowing through her hair caress her cheeks with subtle hints of gold
No photograph could ever capture the absolute perfection of the look of love reflected in her eyes
So I just try to memorize the details of her countenance, but it's more than my memory can hold

I wish I were a painter so in some way I could try to preserve
This vision of pure lovliness I see now before me before it fades from my view
Though I can paint with a lyric and sculpt with a soft melody
Even my words, the vast palatte that they are I fear are abundantly too few

© 2001

Sitting in the darkness just my old guitar and me
My mind begins to drift away in timeless reverie
The thoughts of you come flowing like a river through my mind
I'm wishing you were here with me right now and for all time

The miles that stretch between us keep our bodies far apart
As I sit here in darkness with a longing in my heart
Our spirits though, can rise above and span the gulf between
Tonight we'll see each other's face if only in our dreams

Hand in hand together on a warm secluded beach
Loving as the moonbeams kiss the waves around our feet
Lying side by side watching the sunrise pierce the haze
Holding to each other as the night turns into day

I dread to face the morning 'cause I know the dream will end
The miles that stretch between us separate us once again
The times we've spent together are too few and far between
The longing in my soul for you grows more with every dream

Why can't things be more simple so together we could be
Why can't I break the bonds that keep me from you needlessly
I can only hope that someday soon it will be done
For all time and forever our two hearts will beat as one

Sitting in the darkness just my old guitar and me
Loneliness engulfs me as I end my reverie
Not knowing what tomorrow brings I only have today
Tonight I'll dream of you again until the break of day

© 1998

With words she wields her magic spells
Her faithful wand a pen
She weaves her words as tapestries
Yet snares they are to men

Like siren's songs they lure aside
Her unsuspecting prey
Who bring their feeble offerings
Before her feet to lay

But with a smile she turns her back
On all that they do bring
And ceaselessly continues on
Her siren's songs to sing

While sprites of mischief in her eyes
Dance gleefully in time
To tantalizing morsels of
Her rhythm and her rhyme

As bathed in moonbeams 'neath the stars
She frolics merrily
The vision of her antics makes
Me wonder warily

How many mortals dream to be
With anguish to impart
So fortunate to e'er enchant
Her tender poet's heart

Thanks SaLynn, your poems have given me the inspiration to start composing again.

© 2007

High atop the mountain looking down on city lights
Sharing now a fantasy this moonlit summer's night
I feel the breath upon my cheek from your contented sighs
My heart is lighter than the moonbeams dancing in your eyes

The gift I bring to you tonight is given from the heart
From torrents of emotion it was born and stands apart
The inspiration you give me now makes it full and whole
And all it ever cost me was a small piece of my soul

Larger than the mountain it is carried on the breeze
And cascades through the valley in a glorious reprise
As unique as a snowflake, tailored specially for you
It rises up from deep inside and thrills our hearts anew

As we stand here together in each other's warm embrace
Time stands still a moment in this very special place
Emotions flow together now, creating something new      
No thought of a tomorrow as I sing my song for you

There may be no tomorrow, nor anymore yesterdays
There is only tonight, here locked within each others gaze
There is no one else in the world, just you and I alone
Together we will always be forever in this song