The fact that Milton William Cooper is mentioned in an Ill Bill rap is incredible and I hope the streets thugs are aware of that and that the mention of Milton William Cooper makes people curious.

In this world there are three delusions that make the world a living hell for me. I am not the one with the delusions but realizing that I might be one of the few people lacking any of those delusions and realizing I'm surrounded my sick minds makes me wonder if I am just immune to the illness or the process that is causing the illness?

I don't do drugs and haven't been the kind of person to drink to the point that I develop tunnel vision. Yet for the first time in my life I can honestly say I've been having hallucinations. What I've been seeing has been bothering me because for a split second it feels real then a second observation dismisses what I originally sensed. This isn't a comfortable state of mind to be thinking of, things seem real for split second then reality sets in and what I assumed was real ends up vanishing.

I refuse to share my latest hallucination because it exposes light to a fear or more like an element of hatred in my life. I just feel like I have to take a step back and think about everything. Things don't need to make sense but I do feel that constants in my life are now falling apart. I've had a few hallucinations without any substances to cause them. I'm close to having a freak out, and explaining what I see will just make things worse. I saw what I saw then looked again and didn't see it anymore. It was gone and something else was in its place - this is what is bothering me. I wouldn't mind a hallucination if I were to expect it but this isn't, it caught be by surprise and all I did was mildly think about what I saw and how it made me feel.

The thought that something that wasn't there made me feel a certain way when it actually wasn't there bugs me. Forget whether it was real or not, I can question whether my assumed perception of reality is 'real' but now I'm second guessing my 'reality' my sensations. I feel lost and this is a sensation that I can hardly describe and but into words. It is like trying to describe the level of blue in orange (yes in some scientific way there might be blue in orange - so let us dismiss that). How about me trying to describe what sound blue makes when you look at it long enough.

I'm bothered and silently trying to dissect the hallucination and looking for logic. Trying to explain to myself why I saw what I saw, or why I saw what I saw and then made it change. The real trip is whether I saw what I saw and then corrected it all in my mind to make me comfortable. Of course my mind is more set of assuming/perceiving the experience as seeing what was never there rather than seeing something unpleasant and unseeing it/replacing it with something that was of no matter to my mind.

I'm bothered yet right now I just don't feel like I'm losing my mind. I just think of the experience and wonder if it will happen again and if it will get worse. I'd rather have a hallucination and be fully aware of the hallucination so I could deny it or fight it, but these things seem to come without warning. I'm more fearful of what I might do while the hallucination strikes than of the hallucination itself. I know what I saw, and saw something that I created, I would swear it was real, but you would only deny me that - I take it to be a hallucination only because the experience has no confirmation, but maybe you are all at fault for your failure to see what I see.

Maybe if I'm lucky the hallucinations will attack all my senses and even my sense of decency. Maybe I'll taste things I've never eaten, hear colors, and see cooler things instead of objects that seem to cause anger and hatred in me. I wonder if I'm better by default because I'm writing about it. This written record feels real, at least realer than that moment. If it ever happens again or get worse I think I might isolate myself from people because no one could possibly be trusted and no one could possibly start to understand my experience. This is how people go crazy I assume, and crazy is real now - this is something that I thought only happened to people who were defective, and now I'm left to wonder if I'm defective like them or if this is part of the human experience and it is just hitting me.

I observe people who used to possess a beauty that was powerful. Beauty powerful enough to be a commodity, people would actually pay to somehow have a piece of this beauty. Now their beauty has been eroded by time and it holds no power, it is a cheap commodity at best but really it isn't a commodity because it fails to fetch anything these days.

I kill time, I don't really work a job because it is a necessity. I'm a stranger in this world where man created a machine to tell time, time was then a commodity that man was selling and buying and therefor most of mankind was enslaved by its own machine. I really look at the people who work and follow a clock and see suckers. People who force themselves into labor and time is that machine which they follow.

I don't work unless it is pleasurable and I will never frame my future as plausible regarding work. I see only a future which is desirable and therefor if work isn't desirable no matter how plausible the action I will never accept it as an acceptable way of living. Live is about choices, and if I have a choice I choose to work only when I feel like working.

I see my choice as an action which could bring social change by example. For example I never work more than 35 hours a day. I will never work more than this amount of time. People who work more than this I see as enemies to the goal for a social change I see (an end to compulsory work). I believe that in our modern age humans should really only work 3 hours a day. Work should focus on useful activity - such as growing food or raising a roof. You should never work for arbitrary goals which are set by others - this is not work, work under this definition is slavery.

Work as I see it is the arbitrary goals which are set by others. Slavery is no different, and in a society where man is concerned with time is no different than a slave concerned with his slave master. Man always seems to be developing devices which later seem to try to destroy humanity. The clock is no different, it is a machine and like a machine it was created by man. Man is enslaving man, and as the concept of time has become more profound in society we can argue that capitalism has grown and spread equally in society.

Consider your goals, and now tell me if those goals contain elements of time? If they contain elements of time, than your goals are corrupted in my mind. You have no rhythmic life if you set goals and live according to a clock. If that machine with the 2 hands is controlling you I feel pity for you and also hold you with a level of contempt for not knowing any better.

I learned through the media that Israel is changing the road signs as they get older or defaced to only show the Hebrew pronunciation of a place. So Jerusalem will be shown in Hebrew יְרוּשָׁלַיִם and in the English it will no longer show Jerusalem but the Hebrew in English so I guess Yerushaláyim and in Arabic it will no longer say al-Quds but rather Yerushaláyim in Arabic.

This is political grandstanding and nothing else but an effort to further remove the Arabic from the region. The goal is one language one culture, one people. The Jews are in charge and as I see it they are removing the complexity of the region. They are also removing a word from dictionary al-Nakba. The word al-Nakba means catastrophe and is the word used to define the 1948 War which the Jews name The War of Independence. This word is now removed from all school dictionaries in Israel.

People need to know these things, people need to see that the Jews are on a lingistic level also trying to destroy the Arabness of the region. The goal is to destroy the complexity of the region and be left with a homogenous Jewiness. As someone who admires, cherishes, and seek diversity in my life I really see these political actions by a state as criminal. Add this to the reasons why I hate Israel and support the chant "DEATH TO ZIONISM".

I once dug a hole into a dry river bed until the sand/dirt got moist. Threw a pair of socks and a shirt into the whole and left it overnight. In the morning I dug the hole and rang/squeezed out the water that the socks and shirt soaked from the ground into my water bottle and kept on bushwhacking.

I can start fires with a plastic water bottle and sun light. Of course if there is no sunlight don't worry I'll just go caveman and sharpen a stick and fetch some dry bark and tinder. I tend to carry chap stick and like to use that too help with my fire starting in the wilderness.

My knife is the only friend I can trust. So who wants to head out to the wilderness with me? I won't take care of you and will let you die. If you know nothing about taking care of yourself I'd love to watch you suffer and die.

I was on the boardwalk looking for a place to eat some food. I found a place, and had a friend buy my food. A Macedonian girl took my order - she spoke English very well, but was constantly speaking a foreign language to her co-worker. I was eating at the counter and she's pulling candy out of her purse and snaking on it. I notice this because I refused to eat my food until it cooled.

Today I ran 16.32miles, and now I believe I can run a marathon. Seriously I can run a marathon and finish it behind all those professional runners and the hardcore weekend warriors. I had to compromise my stride and sometime had to walk to drink some water. Yet I only walked because I was running with a friend that is slightly obese, I mean he isn't obese by American standards but by health BMI standards he is. I'm overweight but I'm dropping my BMI very fast, and today's run is further helping.

I ran from where I work in Fort Lee NJ, across the GWB, through Washington Heights, Morning Side Heights, Harlem, and Central Park West. I stopped a Wholefoods in Columbus Circle ate some brown rice sushi. Took a subway to SoHo looked for some "half pants" didn't find them - so I'm pissed I made that trek. However, I have a feeling of accomplishment with the run. The only negative thought is my friend, he's holding me back - I can so much fast and better without him. I'm taller and have a stronger and longer stride. I can maintain higher speeds and I can just pull away from him with ease so I find myself slowing down alot when I run with him.

I'd like to run this alone, but it get boring and I'd rather talk and run because talking is a workout while working out. I mean one breathing heavy to run and then you have talk, that's a real workout. Running my mouth and breathing via my nose instead of my mouth. The goal is to do enough cardio to lower my resting heart rate. I really feel fit right now, I just need to lose more weight to be pleased with myself. Yet 16.32miles is a great feeling - I have that runner's high right now.

I might have the belief that your values are baseless, I know they rest on nothing. Nothing is something I know well. Your values rest on nothing because things can change and your values exist as reactions to other values - there is no real foundation for them. I don't bother to prove this, I can change your values if I desire such a thing and so can you. I live in a universe that is created and functions on reactions. My beliefs exist due to my mind reacting to the beliefs of others. I wish we could all witness that first action that caused the reactions that make up our beliefs in this universe. Yet if we could witness that origin of reaction? What was the reactions towards and was it that important (does it hold any value as we see it)? Does it serve at the base of your values as they exist in the present? I wish so many of you with so-called values could think about that base of where your values originate from.

Nothing matters, your values are something to hold as baseless. The belief that values are baseless and that nothing can be known or communicated is not a thought of arrogance but rather a thought to humble humanity. The existence that has been created over the human history has made us blind to the truth. We have created every crutch to walk around the reality that nothing has value (NIHILISM). Principles, ethics, morality, values, etc, they do not exist in the natural world. These infrastructure systems for humanity are based off reactions and not reason. Our universe exists, and IS because of reactions. Reaction is the catalyst for being. For humans being, for animals being, plants being, stones being, elements being, compounds being, the galaxy being, and the universe being. The system we live in is a reaction, our rules, laws, and judgments are variations of long standing reactions to what serves the species best interests (of course the species has been divided many times over).

People don't understand the base for rules and regulations. The ladder humanity stands on rests on nothing. The Earth that has spawned us has no plan for its children. There is no point to it except for the one we set. A pimple on the face, a scream into the darkness, a swim across the ocean - it has no point except the one we set. We create fantasy in this world because we do not understand what our understanding is capable of. There is no map for humanity. There is no correct language in which to speak. There is no truth yet to be uncovered. The beginning is the end and the end the beginning. We can create what we will.

I don't wanna be your friend
I just wanna be your lover
No matter how it ends
No matter how it starts

Forget about your house of cards
And I'll do mine
Forget about your house of cards
And I'll do mine

And fall off the table, get swept under

Denial, denial

The infrastructure will collapse
Voltage spikes
Throw your keys in the bowl
Kiss your husband goodnight

Forget about your house of cards
And I'll do mine
Forget about your house of cards
And I'll do mine

Fall off the table, get swept under

Denial, denial
Denial, denial

Your ears should be burning
Denial, denial
Your ears should be burning

(c) Radiohead