After living what I felt was a "decent" life, my time on earth came to the end.
The first thing I remember is sitting on a bench in the waiting room of what I thought to be a court house.
The doors opened and I was instructed to come in and have a seat by the defense table.
As I looked around I saw the "prosecutor." He was a villainous looking gent who snarled
as he stared at me. He definitely was the most evil person I have ever seen.
I sat down and looked to my left and there sat My Attorney, a kind and gentle looking man whose
appearance seemed so familiar to me, I felt I knew Him.
The corner door flew open and there appeared the Judge in full flowing robes.
He commanded an awesome presence as He moved across the room I couldn't take my eyes off of Him.
As He took His seat behind the bench, He said, "Let us begin." The prosecutor rose and said,
"My name is Satan and I am here to show you why this man belongs in hell."
He proceeded to tell of lies that I told, things that I stole, and In the past when I cheated others.
Satan told of other horrible perversions that were once in my life and the more he spoke, the
further down in my seat I sank. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't look at anyone, even my own
Attorney, as the Devil told of sins that even I had completely forgotten about.
As upset as I was at Satan for telling all these things about me, I was equally upset at My Attorney who
sat there silently not offering any form of defense at all. I know I had been guilty of those things, but
I had done some good in my life - couldn't that at least equal out part of the harm I'd done?
Satan finished with a fury and said, "This man belongs in hell, he is guilty of all that I have charged and
there is not a person who can prove otherwise." When it was His turn, My Attorney first asked if He might
approach the bench. The Judge allowed this over the strong objection of Satan, and beckoned Him to come forward. As He got up and started walking, I was able to see Him in His full splendor and majesty.
I realized why He seemed so familiar; this was Jesus representing me, my Lord and my Savior.
He stopped at the bench and softly said to the Judge, "Hi, Dad," and then He turned to address the
court. "Satan was correct in saying that this man had sinned, I won't deny any of these allegations.
And, yes, the wage of sin is death, and this man deserves to be punished." Jesus took a deep breath and turned to His Father with outstretched arms and proclaimed, "However, I died on the cross so that this person might have eternal life and he has accepted Me as his Savior, so he is Mine." My Lord continued with, "His name is written in the book of life and no one can snatch him from Me. Satan still does not understand yet. This man is not to be given justice, but rather mercy." As Jesus sat down, He quietly paused, looked at His Father and said, "There is nothing else that needs to be done. I've done it all."
The Judge lifted His mighty hand and slammed the gavel down. The following words bellowed from His lips.. "This man is free." The penalty for him has already been paid in full. Case dismissed."
As my Lord led me away, I could hear Satan ranting and raving, "I won't give up, I will win the next one." I
asked Jesus as He gave me my instructions where to go next, "Have you ever lost a case?"
Christ lovingly smiled and said, "Everyone that has come to Me and asked Me to represent them
has received the same verdict as you, ~Paid In Full~

Spiritual Request for Transfer... Topic: Service, Spiritual Title: Request for Transfer TO: Commander and Chief Spiritual Armed Forces, Jesus Christ Dear Lord, I am writing this to You to request a transfer to a desk job. I here with present my reasons: I began my career as a private, but because of the intensity of the battle You have quickly moved me up in the ranks. You have made me an officer and given me a tremendous amount of responsibility. There are many soldiers and recruits under my charge. I am constantly being called upon to dispense wisdom, make judgments, and find solutions to complex problems. You have placed me in a position to function as an officer, when in my heart I know I have only the skills of a private. I realize that You have promised to supply all I would need for the battle. But Sir, I must present You a realistic picture of my equipment. My uniform, once so crisp and starched, is now stained with tears and blood of those I have tried to assist. The soles of my boots are cracked and worn from the miles I have walked trying to enlist and encourage the instructed troops. My weapons are marred, tarnished and chipped from constant battle against the enemy. Even the Book of Regulations I was issued has been torn and tattered from endless use. The words are now smeared. You have promised You would be with me throughout, but when the noise of the battle is so loud and the confusion is so great, I can neither see nor hear You. I feel so alone. I'm tired. I'm discouraged. I have Battle Fatigue. I would never ask You for a discharge. I love being in Your service. But I humbly request a demotion and transfer. I'll file papers or clean latrines. Just get me out of the battle -- please, Sir. Your Faithful, but tired, Warrior. His answer:

To: Faithful, but tired, Soldier, Spiritual Armed Forces Location: The Battlefield SUBJECT: Transfer Dear Soldier, Your request for transfer has been denied. I here with present My reasons: You are needed in this battle. I have selected you, and I will keep My Word to supply your need. You do not need a demotion and transfer. (You'd never cut it on latrine duty.) You need a period of "R & R" -- Renewal and Rekindling. I am setting aside a place on the battlefield that is insulated from all sound and fully protected from the enemy. I will meet you there and I will give you rest. I will remove your old equipment and "make all things new". You have been wounded in the battle, My soldier. Your wounds are not visible, but you have received grave internal injuries. You need to be healed. I will heal you. You have been weakened in the battle. You need to be strengthened. I will strengthen you and be your strength. I will instill in you confidence and ability. My Words will rekindle within you a renewed love, zeal and enthusiasm. Report to Me tattered and empty. I will refill you. Compassionately, Your Commander-in-Chief, Jesus Christ

KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws while
they went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

After grocery shopping, Linda stayed in the car while her in-laws went into
another store.

Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up
and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and
walked over to the car. He
noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He
asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the
back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors
were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they
finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back
of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud
noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back
of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the
dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly
recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone
noticed and came to her aid.

Linda is a blonde, but I'm certain that's not relevant.

• ½ cup of Confessing Your Sins Daily in prayer.
• ¾ cup of Reading the Word of God Daily.
• ¼ cup of Sharing the Good News.
• 1 cup of Encouragement to Others.
• 8 ozs of Grape Juice.
• 2 Eggs over easy.
• 2 slices of English Muffin.
• 3 ozs. Of Bacon
• 4 ozs. Of Coffee.

Mix this all together and ooh…it's so good.

Matthew 7:13-14

13. Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction

Matthew 20:26-28

1. WHAT IS A FATHER?

• Psalms 103:13---- As a father has compassion on his children

1. WHY IS A FATHER?

• Ephesians 5:23---- For the husband is the head of wife as Christ

Is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior

• Matthew 20:26-28---- Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants

to become great among you must be

your servant,(27) and whoever wants to be

first must be your slave(28) just as the Son

of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give

his life as a ransom for money.

1. HOW IS A FATHER?

• 2^nd Corinthians 5:17---- Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;

the old has gone, the new has come!

• 1^st Corinthians 11:3----Now I want you to realize that the head of every man

is Christ, and the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

My husband Joe prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was
giving. In his haste, however, he forgot to refrigerate the
spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. He was
worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up
another batch.
He called the local Poison Control Center and voiced his
concern. They advised Joe to boil the sauce again.
That night, the phone rang during dinner, and one of the
guests volunteered to answer it. Joe's face dropped as the
guest called out, "It's the Poison Control Center. They want
to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out."

I had better start running before my Joe catches me!