Could you be Happy?....

.. ..

Could you live with me in a cabin?....

Or, maybe end each day inside my tent?....

Is it Buckingham Palace you want?....

Maybe a butler and a maid would make you content.....

.. ..

Could you be happy in Holland?....

Perhaps the USA or France?....

It only takes two willing hearts....

That dare to begin a new song and dance.....

.. ..

Father said a hot plate and a soft pillow…....

Would be all that it would take;....

Should the cost of peace of mind take all he had?....

He would forsake all, he said…....

Lest there be any mistake.....

.. ..

Maybe you’re tempted by the bright lights....

And the lure of a cosmopolitan city.....

Is a quaint village that sings the songs of yester-year,....

What you dream will take away discontentment and fear?....

Or do you seek refuge and sanctuary,....

Perhaps to gather a bit of sweet pity?....

.. ..

I’ve lived many life-times in this one, I feel.....

With each new challenge and desire,....

I sought what I believed every soul thought real.....

.. ..

No place, no time and no occasion,....

Could ever be what was expected;....

No anticipation, hope or faith....

Could reveal what would  later be rejected.....

.. ..

Time became justified.....

The efforts were not in vain.....

Happiness could not be limited to sunshine.....

Nor could it be dismissed by rain.....

.. ..

I open my arms to your homecoming.....

For I know you have passed over troubled waters too.....

That’s how I knew that you would understand....

And not question…....

What I have gone through....

In my quest to be with you.....

.. ..

So I surrender the clay of a simple potter....

Molded and shaped to be happy just because;....

There is no other rhythm or reason;....

It is the creator’s purpose;....

Making Himself happy…....

It’s what He does best.....

.. ..

So can you be happy with an unlikely man....

A man who seeks happiness in the soul?....

For if so…let’s begin again....

And let a new story be told.....

.. ..

Happiness seems a delusion to many;....

To some it is completely out of fashion;....

I am a man who shares what he treasures,....

With a heart of relentless passion.....

.. ..

Passion to wake;....

Passion to dine;....

Passion to smile.....

Passion…its very own kind.....

.. ..

I offer you a happy passion,....

If this is what you seek.....

Please open your heart to me.....

Unless your heart is weak.....

.. ..

Once more I ask:....

Could you…....

Or would you be happy?....

.. ..

.. ..

David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.....

.. ..

.. ..

.. ..

.. ..

.. ..

I Never Stopped Longing

Since the days I knew you existed in my dreams and in my hopes and in the deepest longings of my heart, I never stopped longing for you. When I could not see you…I knew you were there. When I could not hear your voice…I knew it was a gentle whisper and a vibrant call unto my soul. When I could not touch you, I knew your softness would cause my spirit to quiver and be filled with all that can be true about passion. I believed that you were real even before I was completely convinced, no matter what anyone else thought or considered scornful.

Then the day arrived when you placed your hands on my heart and looked into my eyes to see if I was real and you found me to be true to my word. The day was filled with beauty and I treasured every moment of our new beginning. Then suddenly I could not be without you any longer and called your name and you came to me. “Soul mate,” I called…. and you were there.

We had so much to learn about each other. We had so many thoughts to share, so many feelings to explore, so many things to do and say with one another. All I knew is that I wanted you like no other. I was willing to fight for you if there was a battlefield. There was a so much to learn about your heart. So many experiences we both had were similar and yet, others were different. Our paths had taken us across the world until now.

Where would we go? What would we do?  What paths would lie before us? What was next? There were so many questions and I wanted so many answers. Now…I realize…..I wanted so much, that perhaps I was overwhelming…even to my soul mate and didn’t understand why.

Despite what I believed, dreamed and hoped for, no two souls are exactly alike. I tried to weave a pattern so quickly between us that you barely had time to comprehend my stitches. Maybe you even felt lost and I didn’t know it, amidst the continual busyness of my mind, my will, my invigorated spirit that I was too blind to see what was happening before my very eyes.

I wanted everything to be right. I wanted nothing to go wrong. I wanted to know we could overcome any obstacle we would ever face with God’s strength, grace and wisdom. My passion for you and us, only grew stronger and more intense day by day. I never tired of you. The sight of you, the smell of you, the hope of you, the yearning for you, and the dream of you was my breath from day to day. I felt that nothing could stop you and I from being you and I.  And yet…..now….you are gone.

I’ve grieved for more days than I can remember. I have so many questions that remain unanswered. I have so many tears that still stain my heart and there is no way they can be removed. Where did my soul mate go? How can she be gone? At times I’ve been in denial. There are days I hope that you will suddenly appear before me and never again will I experience your painful absence in this way yet….I know it is not so. I count the days on the calendar since you walked out of my life, hoping time will heal. But it has not.

So once again, I am longing for the wonder of my soul mate. I know that throughout the earth which God has created, He has prepared “ONE” just for me. I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. Come home my beloved….come home. I cannot stop longing for you until you do. I know that my Creator still has plans…and they are good. Hope deferred has made my heart sick. Come home to me my princess…come home.

David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.

I Wonder…

Does she think my heart is soft?

Or does she think I’m a man that’s hard?

“Maybe he’s just not able to understand,” she says.

Or, “have his emotions begun to retard?”

At times I think she says, “Yes.”

When in reality she’s really saying, “No.”

I wonder… what went wrong I ask?

Then it seems my judgment is the foe.

Each and every day I wonder,

If she understands what I say and feel;

I tell her I love her always,

But does she always believe it’s real?

My eyes see only her,

Only her and no other;

I wonder if she knows

Where my soul’s eyes live,

And also…

It’s the home of my lover.

She knows of my deep passion for her.

Truly I see it within her eyes.

Even when I say and do the wrong things,

Like those occasional mess-ups of mine.

That cause my Baby pain.

And then my Baby cries.

Does she know I’d pay any price

With the equity of heaven’s bank?

Or at times maybe she thinks,

“He’s taking the easy road.”

Is that why sometimes I see a blank?

God I wonder if she knows,

My heart is always bleeding;

It’s a never ending desire for her heart,

That my soul is craving and needing.

Does she know I love her always

Even when it doesn’t feel like love?

Lord you know I’m depending on you

For strength that comes only from above.

Most of all I wonder…

Does she believe she’s heaven’s best?

If I fail in any way to demonstrate Lord,

Tell her for me…

“David says you’re better than all the rest.”

I may not do everything right.

I probably do a lot of things wrong.

But this one thing, I know for sure,

Being with you has begun to make me strong.

So on this day as I remember,

The anniversary date of when we said I love you;

I want you to never wonder,

If stopping loving you is something

I’ll ever do.

I’ve purposed in my heart

Ever since I recognized the promise of God;

That wherever I go you will go too;

We will press forward with amazing grace

And God’s loving arms will carry us through.

David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Are You Really Ready for Love? The Capacity to Receive Love

Dr. David B. Hawkins

The Relationship Doctor

We are well on our way to discovering, and hopefully developing, the traits needed to really be ready for love. How are you faring so far? Are you letting go of the desire to influence, control, manipulate or even coerce your mate into being that exact specimen of loveliness you had originally imagined? Are you ready to accept and love him or her for who they are? Are you able to express love freely in word and action? If so, you may be ready for the next task on your way to readiness for love: the capacity to receive love.

Some of you may be surprised at this one. How did it get on the list? Isn’t everyone ready and able to receive love? Aren’t we all self-centered individuals constantly seeking someone to love us? Yes, and no.

The truth of the matter is that many have not developed the skill to openly discuss their “love languages” – what is hoped for and expected as far as expressions of love – and so do not know how to even really ask for love. While it may seem simple, helping someone to know how to offer us love can be quite complex. It requires skill and practice to inform your mate on the specifics of how you prefer to be loved. Let me offer an example.

Stan and Mary have been dating for nearly two years and came to see me after being referred by their pastor. They were both in their late twenties and were ready for a serious relationship leading to marriage.

In the past few months, however, in discussing marriage and what that means for them, they have discovered a communication problem regarding expressing affection. Mary feels as though she often gives more than she receives, while Stan is frustrated because he is unclear about what she wants and needs. This has created tension in their relationship.

“We love each other,” Mary began. “I can’t imagine being without him. But, I’m not getting what I need lately.”

“And what is that?” I questioned.

At that point Stan jumped in.

“This is the thing that frustrates me. Sometimes I come over in the evening and ask her what she needs, and she just pouts. It drives me nuts.”

-2-

In talking with Stan and Mary, they admitted to slacking off in showing each other affection and were now unsure as to what each expected from the relationship. I suggested we talk about not only how they show love, but their capacity to receive love.

As we explored their love languages, both were surprised at how little each really knew about the other. Mary, particularly, discovered that she had difficulty in sharing how she preferred to be loved, always assuming that expressions of love would simply come to her automatically. She found it was hard to ask for what she needed or desired. She shared how, because of rejection early in her life, she had always had a tough time fully permitting herself to be loved. If it came naturally, she could usually accept it, but she was afraid to verbalize what she really wanted. We explored these issues in their counseling and the impact on their relationship.

There are two broad reasons why some people cannot easily allow themselves to ask for, or let love in: they are afraid of it, or they feel they don’t deserve it. Consider the possibility that you may fear intimacy. You may feel unsafe and so deprive yourself of the gift of closeness.

If you have a deficiency in your capacity to receive love, there are several questions you should ask yourself:

Am I afraid to let love in? To acknowledge receiving it? Why? What is the danger?

What happened in my childhood experiences with love that made it dangerous?

Were my needs for love ignored? Were my efforts to get love somehow punished?

Have later experiences with romantic love been so disappointing or traumatic that I have shut down my receptors and responsiveness to another person’s love?

Have I become wary and cynical about the possibility of being genuinely loved?

Am I ashamed to show another person that I would like his or her love?

To receive love, obviously, we must be open about our desire for love – and our love language. Do you let your needs for love be known? When feeling hurt or rejected, how easy is it to share your feelings? Do you respond passive-aggressively by withdrawing, pouting, putting up a wall? Try to catch your relationship-destroying ways of blocking the other person’s love and to understand the reasons why you play such dirty tricks on yourself.

Here is an exercise I would like you to try with your mate.

-3-

Tell your mate the qualities you would like to be lovingly recognized and appreciated for – .i.e. preparing meals for dinners together;

State how you would like that love to be shown – i.e. words of affirmation,

Tell them exactly what is your love language – i.e. to be hugged often in a loving way;

Share with your mate how any childhood issues get in the way of receiving love – i.e. you fear rejection if you ask for what you desire; 

Notice the feelings of shame or embarrassment you have in completing this exercise.

We all need love. And lots of it. Are you ready to talk about your need for it, and even share the specific ways you would like it? Are you actively healing from any difficulties in childhood that may sabotage your openness to love? If so, you may really be ready for love.

David Hawkins, PhD., has worked with couples and families to improve the quality of their lives by resolving personal issues for the last 30 years. 

He is the author of over 18 books, including  "Love Lost: Living Beyond a Broken Marriage," "Saying It So He'll Listen," and  "When Pleasing Others Is Hurting You." His newest book, "When the Man in Your Life Can’t Commit," releases February 2006. Dr. Hawkins grew up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and lives on the South Puget Sound where he enjoys sailing, biking, and skiing. He has active practices in two Washington cities.

Please See Me

Please see me.

Tell me what you see.

Can you see me?

What do you see?

Can you look into my eyes?

And, when you look into my eyes,

Are you really able to see my heart?

Or, are you not able to and

Really looking for something else?

I want you to see me for who I am.

I don’t want you to see me because of my past,

Or where I’ve been.

I don’t want you to see me because of where I’m going.

I want you to see me now…

For where I am…

And for who I am…now.

I want you to see the real me.

Don’t see me as you imagine me to be.

Don’t see me for what you want me to be.

Don’t see me for who you think I am.

Don’t see me for who you believe I am.

See me for me.

And just let me be.

See what is true.

See what is pure.

That’s all I can be.

That which is the very best me.

If you can’t see me,

Then what good is it for either of us?

Had you rather believe in an illusion?

I can’t live with false hope.

Why should you believe in false hope?

You can only see me if you have eyes to see.

You can only see me if you want to see me.

You can only see me if you really care to see me.

You can only see me if you have the heart to see me.

You can only see me if you see with eyes of desire…

To know me, understand me, feel my emotions,

Be touched by my spirit, know how I think,

What I believe and how I came to be me.

So now I ask?

Do you want to see me?

If not, then why does it matter at all?

David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.

“Becoming One Flesh - 1 Corinthians 7:3-6”....

(Why there may be difficulty)....

.. ..

Some
people who have been abused, neglected, controlled, exploited, manipulated, coerced,
conned, or disrespected have been given little or no voice or freedom in past
relationships, even if they are Christians. Little or no help is truly
available in today’s church that really deals with core issues. Many in the church
are affected in such ways as well as outside the church.....

Some have
a difficult time receiving “REAL” love and also have difficulty “GIVING” true
love, because those in their past who were in leadership/power/authority
positions to give love just didn’t. Or, those who were to be examples of love
including family members, pastors, Sunday school teachers, friends and coaches
just didn’t come through for them when it was needed most. Consequently… the
mystery, questions, pain, confusion and uncertainty of how to love remain until
God brings healing, clarification and wholeness. We don’t need more sermons on
love; we need pure and consistent demonstrations of unconditional love that
meet our needs, which are based in God’s truths about love.....

Blocking,
freezing and numbing of emotions occurs when real love doesn’t take place in
one’s life. Christians seeking help may turn to pastors. They meet and pastors give
a few sessions of counseling and then say, “I’ll pray for you.” Most pastors do
not look for, nor do they know how to accurately discern the root problems
surrounding many issues, nor do they embrace the Biblical model of man being
spirit, soul and body. Thus the person hurting continues to stumble through
their forest of discouragement, not knowing where to turn. Basic pastoral
ministry involves a degree of counseling. To not seek training or resources for
hurting people is an injustice to God, truth, the church, the naive, the seeker
and to life in general. ....

As a
trained social worker, family therapist with over 12,000 logged hours, ordained
minister and Christian of 36 years, there’s not much I haven’t seen. Many who
have felt discouraged from past experiences when they sought help and
desperately needed hope in the midst of despair and darkness wind up in my
office telling me their stories. Some you wouldn’t believe.....

In short,
Christians need to be truly discipled in how to love. There are many components
to love. Most of all, the Father’s love, the Son’s love and the Holy Spirit’s
love need to be experienced before anyone can give true love according to I
Corinthians 13.....

.. ..

            David Hammock.  Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.....

If
you really want to know me,....

Ask
me what I think; ask me how I feel;....

Ask
me what I believe,....

One
thing for sure,....

I’ll
always try to be real.....

.. ..

If
you really want to know me,....

Find
out what I like and what I don’t;....

You’ll
discover lots about me,....

But….
only if you have a want.....

.. ..

Do
you know my favorite color?....

Do
you know my favorite food?....

Do
you know what keeps my interests?....

Or do
you know what makes me brood?....

.. ..

Do
you know what makes me happy?....

Do
you know what makes me sad?....

Do
you know what I enjoy most?....

Do
you know what I consider bad?....

.. ..

Do
you know what makes me hurt?....

Do
you know what makes me cry?....

Do
you know what makes me silent?....

Do
you know what makes me want to draw nigh?....

.. ..

Do
you know what makes me sleepless?....

Do
you know what makes me pace the floor?....

Do
you know what makes me restless?....

Do
you know why I walk out the door?....

.. ..

Do
you know what makes me troubled?....

Do
you know why I complain?....

Or is
it all just something trivial?....

That
you find nothing more than disdain?....

.. ..

Do
you know where I’ve been?....

Do
you know where I am going?....

Do
you know what I find most important?....

Is it
really something you find worth knowing?....

.. ..

I
can’t tell you all about me by what I say.....

You
won’t know everything by watching what I do;....

Learning
about me won’t come easy.....

It’s
really up to you.....

.. ..

David
Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.....

.. ..

........At
times I don’t know what you think.....

At
others I don’t know what you feel;....

My
heart aches and yearns,....

While
it wants to know,....

Is
this moment one that’s surreal?....

.. ..

Does
she know how much I really want to know her,....

In
the deepest most possible way?....

Does
she know her very presence....

Consumes
the desires of my day?....

.. ..

At
times I don’t know if she knows how much I think of her…....

Every
desire, every thought, every hope, dream and passion;....

At
times I just don’t know if she thinks of me this way,....

Or am
I a man that’s really out of fashion?....

.. ..

My
longing is always there,....

Even
when she does not speak;....

My
will is always seeking,....

Not
for a momentary glimpse…....

But
for her soul’s transparent revealing.....

.. ..

I cannot
make her give me,....

What
she already knows I want and need;....

I can
only hope and pray....

That
her hidden passion wants to heed.....

.. ..

For
you see…....

There
will be many more times....

That
I shall never know....

All
that she has within;....

Unless
she shares,....

With
fearless care....

All
that I just don’t know.....

.. ..

.. ..

Copyright
© 2009. David Hammock. All Rights Reserved.....

.. ..

.. ..

...... ..If
you call me Baby,....

Does
it mean I’m really yours?....

.. ..

If
you call me Baby,....

Does
it mean it’s the tune of the day?....

.. ..

If
you call me Baby,....

Does
it mean I’m really that special at all?....

.. ..

If
you call me Baby,....

Is
it because you know I want you to?....

.. ..

If
you call me Baby,....

Does
it mean you’re trying to avoid giving something else?....

.. ..

If
you call me Baby,....

Is
it because you want me to call you that too?....

.. ..

If
you call me Baby,....

Am
I the only one with that name?....

.. ..

If
you call me Baby,....

Does
it mean I’m out of the game?....

.. ..

If
you call me Baby,....

Do
you know what it really means to me?....

.. ..

If
you call me Baby,....

Is
it because you think you’re supposed to?....

.. ..

If
you call me Baby,....

Just
what does that mean to you?....

.. ..

If
you call me your Baby....

And
I don’t feel the power of the words that you say;....

Does
it mean something is missing?....

Or
is it just your way?....

.. ..

If
there’s no “fire” when your voice echoes “Baby,”....

What
am I to make of that?....

If
your eyes, hands and body don’t say Baby,....

Is
it time to ask where you’re at?....

.. ..

So
many spout terms of endearment,....

Lighter
than the Baby desires,....

Make
sure when you call me Baby,....

I’m
your heart’s desperate craving,....

And
let it remain always dire!....

.. ..

.. ..

David
Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.....

.. ..