Having spent many years resembling a self-harmer, I decided today was the day that I didn't use disposable razors! Being 18, I considered myself very grown up and finally mature enough to try waxing. So I purchased (from the Pound Shop, may I add), one "Veet Express Roll-on" kit, that claims to need no heating. In a moment of doubt, I also splashed out 75p on a pack of "bic" razors.
I am now going to compare the strengths and weaknesses of the humble, dependable razor and the sophisticated, slightly pretentious waxing system.
Round 1 - packaging:
The bic razors come in a blue plastic packet and are pink and white.
The veet device comes in a cardboard box and the thing itself is in a white tub with a yellow lid and white "applicator."
Score: for crying outloud, why does this even matter?
Round 2 - instructions:
The bic razors helpfully point out which end of the razor is which, lest you should pick up the blade and start trying to remove the hairs with the handle. A little patronising, but I guess bic don't want to exclude idiots from their market.
Veet comes with a whole separate instruction sheet that has about 316 steps, none of which are related to anything. There are some little pictures, which bear no resemblance to anything either.
Score: while it's a little condescending, bic wins by far. bic:1, veet:0.
Round 3 - actually using the damned things:
Using a razor is very easy and removes the hair from your legs. I gained one little nick this time, but the endorphins simply heightened the merry experience.
I did what the instructions told me, and yet ended up with a load of hair on my legs and a load of waxy stuff everywhere. I hadn't expected any pain, and it felt just like ripping parcel tape off your skin. However, it was also about as effective as ripping parcel tape of your skin. It took about 3 hours to remove one hair, by which point all the other hairs were threatening to leave me and join the circus. It probably would have been easier to pluck each hair off my leg with tweezers.
Score: bic:1, veet: -83
Round 4 - how long does the smoothness last?:
After about 3 days, I do normally need to shave my legs again. However, as it takes about 20 seconds, I don't really care.
Wax always boast that it lasts 4 weeks or whatever. However, what they don't tell you is that it will probably take about 4 weeks before you've removed any hair, by which point it will have grown back again. Therefore you will end up stuck in a loop, perpetually waxing your legs.
Score: now I'm confused! I know, on ratio of how long smoothness lasts: time taken to acheive smoothness: bic:1 ,veet 0
The verdict:
Tallying up the results, the bic razors have 3 points, and the veet wax has -83 points.
The winner is...the razor!
So, the moral of this is:
If ever asked if you're a wax virgin (as in the veet adverts), smile kindly and simply explain that you are "saving it for marriage."