I'm a journalist and a scientist at heart. So if there is dabotchery going down near me, I'm going to check it out. With that in mind, I planned a boat trip to Lost Isle, a island resort in the delta with a reputation for baudy behavior.

I'm sorry to report the trip did not go off without a hitch.

First off, I had a number of people bail on me. Then the boat we rented didn't start. We took the smaller slower boat. After an hour in the wrong direction, we got orientated and were on out way. The boat was slow but we make it there around 2 p.m.

After a few hours of kicking it and average debotchery on "boobie island," as one coworker called it, we headed back.

Going back we faced the river current and the wind, which grew stronger by the hour. About 3/4 of the way back the engine started sputtering. Oh shit -- We're out of gas. After getting gas from the rental company, we still faced at 20 mph wind and the largest swells I've ever seen on a river. The large waves sent splash over the deck. It made for a long, wet ride home.

Outtake from upcoming movie "Better than Crazy."

I haven't blogged here is ages. And this really isn't a blog, more an invite to check out the ho down picts. I was able to withstand several hours of country music. The night ended thankfully with some hip hop.

Shopping in Oak Park I've been hit up for a lot of things: money, a ride, my butt, weed, but this evening was the first time I was hit up for math.

I was wearing a dress shirt and slacks. A guy gets my attention in the produce isle. "How much is this mellon?" the guy asks. Humm I'm thinking.

I start looking over the situation. The guy has a mellon in the scale -- 13 lbs. And want to know how much it is. He tells me its .39 cents a lbs.

Err about $4 I tell them. Then I adjust Err $6. Ok the answer is $5.07, but not as terrible as the guy in the store.

Memorial Day road trip part 3

For night three the boys and our host Alyson decided to dress up. And if you're going t dress up suit up.

After a couple of other stops, we found our way to another pub going karaoke crazy.

For some beautiful reason five bachelorette parties all picked the same spot. Throw in a bus load of 22-year-old women socially obligated to get drunk and ask stupid and you know this place is going off.

We drank, we danced, we sang.

Here's the highlight of my night:

Moving though the dance floor one young woman starts playing with my tie, so we dance a few songs and chat a little bit. She insists on buying me a shot. She says she not very girly, so she buys shots of Gentleman Jack. She gets a beer back, which she admits, is a bit girly, but claims that's the only girly thing about her.

I said, "That's disappointing."

Her replay: "Oh yeah my pussy, that's pretty girly."

We hugged and that was that.

Brandon and Nick had fun making out with one of the grooms.

Day 2 of the road trip really kicked off with a stop in San Louis Obispo, a great little town I'd love to be able to afford to live.
Looking for lunch, we popped into this little pub called the Frog & Peach. We discovered a kick ass bartender who overwhelmed us with her pour, cheer and laugh snort. She wasn't bad to look at either.
Still seeking lunch we stopped in Pismo Beach. On the way to a hot dog stand we started chatting up with young woman alone at a table. Come to find out she's the 18-year-old town drunk, claimed to just haven't got out of jail and been to jail eight times in the last six months. The cops are picking on her, she claims.
The funny thing was, while Nick and I were ready to be off, Brandon played Dr Phil.

That evening we rolled into Santa Barbara and went to our favorite dive bar, but by our standards it turned out to be a pretty mellow evening.