Life is quick, it feels long and drawn out, but it’s really over before it begins. Hence the saying ‘Life goes on’. We overlap with one another sometimes brief and other times lasting only meaning something if your paying attention.

When dealing with loss, we can never know what we had until it’s gone. Our friends, family or any other being of substance connect with us unknowingly and selfishly we have no choice who or what we find ourselves attached to. In life it just happens.

I’ve met some people who I am amazed by, their intellect, character and life story.  These are not the only qualities, but they are the most magnetic. How can you not find intelligence, engaging? Or character captivating? Or finding the overall life story appealing? These are just the bases for befriending someone, but from there it becomes so much more.

Recently I’ve had some of my friends go through things that would make their life story veer close to becoming novel. From heart attacks, to bouts with cancer to untimely deaths knowing them as long as I have unsuspecting the catastrophic around the corner. Through their melancholy I suffer a depression, unable to do much about it than pray and support. And watch in awe as they steadfast through the uncertainty. In this time, I’m learning what friends are truly for we are here for each other. Our lives combined to improve our quality of life. So when you suffer, we are not alone in our suffering. And when you succeed we succeed together. So offer support to those who need it in times of despair and doubt, so that when you overcome we can honor your struggle. That’s what friends are for.

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What up. It’s been awhile I know, my mind wants me to write, but my body does what it wants to do, so it’s a battle sometimes ya know. Luckily the mind has a way with things so here I am…back again.

I don’t want get into what I’ve been doing, cause it’s been a lot, but it really is about what’s up right now.  And right now I’ve been Twitter obsessed (@akaMrMarcus), I hate myself for tweeting every other day and sometimes, daily. I think it’s not necessary, but there are moments when I wanna join the crowd and just participate in the BS. I can tweet about porn and sex, people love that, no matter what’s going in the world, we take time to talk about the sex. So maybe on a good day, you’ll get a tweet about the beautiful women in the world, who provide the sexual thoughts that go on in my mind.

To be honest, I forget I have this outlet for the things that trouble, inspire and provoke me into writing, so I apologize for the long delay.

Fuck it...here’s what’s happened since the last time I posted the Journal.  The big thing is I’ve had a birthday, yea for me. I’m 39 for those that need to know, some of the girls are going to say “what? He’s too old” and others will be “dam, dude still looks cool for being so much older than I thought”. Either way I ain’t 40 yet and I can’t wait till I am. Just to get it over with have it done and out the way, I don’t feel my age, guess you could say I have a young mind, but that birthday came and went like they all do. The big one is next year, guess that’s when it will really hit me. Age.

A little frustrating news, I’ve been going through some things with Daddy, Inc. Business is a different animal, especially when it comes to an idea you’ve turned into a business venture, I’m trying to understand the habitat, the dwellings of moving from an employee to an employer. I have to have a business owners’ mentality and I’m working on developing into one, a business owner. One thing to say it, it’s another to actually do it.

Ok enough of that, just keep your eye out for Daddy, Inc. cause it’s gonna be the Move.

Define. Acknowledge. Determine. Discipline Yourself (Daddy)

Lately I’ve been doing some traveling with more to come. I look forward to that, getting out of Cali., for a minute does me some good. The mind needs fresh air and sometimes you have to travel far from where your at to find it. In these past months I’ve been to North Carolina for my first male-revue hosting gig (North Carolina vs the World) co-hosted with fellow performer Prince, I met a few good people out there and look forward to going back out there again…soon. Just got back from Exxxotica out in Edison, NJ, you can see the pictures from that trip on www.myspace.com/mrmarcusakadaddy just click Exxxotica ’09. Upcoming cities: Chicago, NY, Detroit and a city in Alabama. To know what’s what, check on myspace and twitter to know what dates I’ll be in your city, come out and hang with me, I’ll do my best to inspire the best.

Oh and congratulations Mr.Barack Obama on winning the Nobel Peace Prize and pissing the haters off even more. Ya know how we do!

God bless. 

.. ..

Chicago, is there something in the air? Blowing through the city killing young folk. Guns drawn, attitudes raised and death prevails.

Fighting in the world of concrete and bricks, stones and wood, metal and rage. Murderous results come quickly faster with a bullet. Fingers on the trigger ‘don’t pull it!’

Life means something. Life is invaluable. Life is living.

.. ..

I read somewhere they have no hope, they being the brick throwers, the trigger pullers that they are replacing hope with rage. Somewhere along the way life lost it’s meaning and we forgot what we mean to each other, we just don’t give a fuck.

.. ..

“Doesn’t it matter that we live in the same city? A few blocks from each other, our parents probably went to school together, we share the same space, if you kill me there will be someone else who will take my place in the world. Who looks just like you so if you kill me you’re killing yourself” –

.. ..

I thought of those words when I saw what happened to Derrion Albert in Chicago. 

Why him…why anyone.  

.. ..

Rest in peace young homie. 

Life is what you listen for

And what you hear

It’s what you look for

And what you see

It’s what you reach for

And what you feel

Life is 

I wrote this passage for the book, it's longer than this, but this is an excerpt: 

There are many forms of masturbation and it varies from men to women, where there is a will people have found a way. With stimulating yourself you are taking matters into your own hands. If you have had unsatisfying sex with someone, or have been close to orgasm but were unable to achieve it with your partner of choice, then masturbating offers an alternative. I tell people think the most explicit thought you have and fine-tune it to orgasm. Sometimes you don’t need a reason to validate the demand of a climax, it is necessary to clear the mind to deal with some issues, more clearly. And masturbating can help with that.

For women your options are many. You don’t have to use anything but your mind, but if you need to feel something like many of you do, then toys have been made in abundance with you in mind. These sexual aids range from vibrators to Ben Wa Balls to the ever popular dildo. Although they can replicate the male penis, they cannot replace the real thing. But toy makers try hard to satisfy it’s growing number of women who would rather have something versus nothing to inspire that wanted sensation of stimulated sex. Most girls I know choose to use their fingers, placing them firmly on her clitoris she can rub gently or roughly depends on the desired degree of orgasm. Fingers are inserted if necessary and used to spark the infamous G-Spot into reacting. That elusive spot is located just inside the vaginal opening behind the clitoris on the front of the vaginal wall. If you were to insert a finger into the vagina, you would then turn and bend your finger up and make a “cum hither” motion with your finger and you would be tapping the spongy area called the G-Spot. The more aroused a female is the more of a response you can elicit from her.

Mood plays a roll in inflaming the sexual spirit. Generating a feeling, seducing a thought out of your deeper senses inducing an anticipation of excitement and release. Until finally you wanna fuck. 

Example:

DOGGYSTYLE

When the girl is on all fours and her ass is arched ever so slightly it reveals the "oooh weee" in a way where you bark like a dog and wanna hump like one -