so, i've been getting a lot of questions "how was your weeknd, how come u didnt hit me up, what you been up to, how u been" and then from those of you whom ACTUALLY know me "are you ok!? wat the heck happnd, how!?"

so...the story goes, yesterday on my way back from mexico *visiting the grandparents* about 10 mins away from the border...well u noe wat? just chek out the pix, ive already told the story too many times...u get the gist of it. I AM OK, thankfully...as well as the family...

but like perla sed "think about it, the whole 'peralta lopez' family would have been gone, even the future generation."

and its true. me, my 3 sisters (the oldest in which is pregnant) and my dad all
would have been goners...no more. poof. to nothing....take a look:

that last pic is where i was seated. nice huh?

THE END.

Another year gone by

Another tear to cry

Another word

Another poem

I write. again.

For you.

New, New Year's Resolution

Again, no more tears for the solution

Don't give in

Don't feel lost.

Stay strong. And smile.

AT ALL COST

1. Hear no evil

the words one speaks

shall never hurt me

can not revert me

Back to the old me

Back to the old me.

2. Speak no evil

the words I speak

shall never be negative

shall never hurt anyone

shall never hurt anyone

3. See no evil

No more lies & misconceptions

through the eyes of my perceptions

Back to the innocence

Back to the innocence

4. Do no evil

Speak all truth

No more Boys

Respect all Beings

Respect all Beings

Include Yourself.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Tonight I'll sleep in your jacket

And tell myself I'm fine

Tonight I'll hold tight to Your teddy bear

And tell myself It'z mine

Tonight I'll turn the lights off

And say that I'm okay

Tonight I'll read about your Love

And tell myself No Way.

Tonight I'll lay and think of you

And say I miss You so

Tonight I'll pray that you were mine

In place of Your Jane Doe

Tonight I'll fall fast asleep

as the tears roll down my face

Tonight I'll dream that you were here

And i was your warm embrace

Tonight I'll stay in doubt for hours

about what I've done right

Tonight I wish we could talk once more

without ending up in fight (to tell you of what I write)

Tonight I'll do, Tonight I'll say

I had no clue it would end this way

"I guess you're right..." sounds too cliche

Thought I could be happy

All I wanted was to be that true definition

I didn't mean to disappoint anyone

I never do

But somehow no matter what it is I do

I always end up letting someone down

The worse times are when that someone

Is SOMEONE I care for

SOMEONE I love

SOMEONE I never meant to hurt.

My life's toils

Only multiply over time

Never decrease

NEVER CEASE

Never ever die

You can only learn from your mistakes

You can only take what you get

You can only have what you work for

And yet...

Why is it that everything I've learned,

I don't know

Everything I get I lose

Everything I work for doesn't add up.

Some people have it easy

Some people live the life

I'm sorry, I'm sorry...and you know that I am sorry

I don't mean to be rude

Nor stubborn nor closed up

But my life's been something

Something I cant describe

I've tried to learn from the past

And ive tried to look past

People die

Others lie

And I CRY.

We don't know why....

[sigh]

I hurt

The pain

My life

My troubles

The boy

The girl

The lover

The hater

LIFE.

Nothing I can do

Look past and move on

Move on

Move on

Hope

You can see, how sorry I am

HOPE

You can forgive me

And see how I am torn.

Hope

Just HOPE

All I can do is have hope.

Eventually,

Times will change...

I HOPE.

would it even matter?

would it help the fact that i'm still here

would it take it all away
as if it never happnd?

would it make them see how
hurt i really am

would i look bak and think of
any good times

will i ever be free

will i ever be me

i dont think anyone understands where im coming from at this point,

no one'z lost their mother at a young age -LIKE I HAVE
no one'z had to care for a child before THEY THEMSELVES grew up -LIKE I HAVE
no one'z had to be the little girl who slaved all day for nothing -LIKE I HAVE
no one'z been in my shoes
no one'z in it to lose
no one.
no one.
no one...but me.

so why is it that you can say
please stop crying
when you dont even know wat it is to hurt like this

you may love me,
you may care

but could u ever take all this pain away

tell me you love me
kiss me gently

and make me forget any of it ever happend

it's crazy how little u know about me
it's crazy how i'd never tell.


BUT YET, i still love you all...for being who u are,

and never letting me forget it.

~dulce ruby peralta~

y feliz cumpleanoz ama....

Crazy how things turn out

Crazy how things change

One moment I'm your Number ONE

The next, you're saying "She's the one"

Callin off the hook

Takin' a good look

On wat we coulda had

You threw away 2 damn bad

Lovers and Friends

Love story ends

In the beginning

love awaited

Now as if we

never dated

You was mine as

I was yours

Open Window

closed-tight doors

Everything we been thru

keeps pushing this pen thru

Waiting to stop

and yet, Stopping to wait

Young and confused

Loved and abused

Lied to and cheated on

Cried to and beated on

Scrabble - letter for letter

Trabble - better for better

Stop 2 wait, wait 2 Stop.

*Mi Querencia*

Mi Querencia is in a place

no one can see

Its in the mind of you & me

Its in the flowers that grow worldwide

Its in the pain I hide inside.

Mi Querencia in

my heart & soul

Its in the one who'd play my role

Its in the feelings I dare not say

Its in the path that leads the way.

Mi Querencia is the life I live,

Its in the love I chose to give.

*

Life was good

before I

met

the monster

 

After,

life

was great,

 

At

least

for a little while.

Decades, years, months, weeks

days, hours, minutes, seconds

They all go by in a blink of an eye

Before you know it

I'll be here - you'll be there

You'll pass by and you'll stare

You think you saw me    turn around

Check again    hear no sound

Birds fly by     You're so high

Silence is screaming all around me

Sighing, lying, trying, quiting

Blind in sight

Deaf in hearing

Pure as light

Silence Screaming!

Pen ink running

dripping...ending

Few last words

are rearranging

Move so quickly, move so fast

I'm almost gone now

Yes - @ last

Seconds pass, minutes last

Hours go, days of show

Weeks do fly, months do die

Years & Decades...

Don't Ask Why.