For once in my life, I'm truly happy.

People always say "It will only get worse before it gets better." Now I know exactly how true that statement is. I've reached rock bottom and picked myself up again. I've had help, but I helped myself as well.

I also realized who my "true" friends were. They were the people that accepted me even though I did things that were horrible to myself and others. They were also the friends that no matter how bad things got in the friendship, forgiveness was given. The ones who couldn't forgive, forget, or accept me for what I did, they are the ones that don't care about me. Therefore they are not worthy of being my friend.

Now that I am "new", I feel like I can finally love myself and learn to love others. For once I feel like I could handle I healthy relationship (not that I want to at this point). I still want to remain in this phase of having love for myself and friends before involving myself in a relationship.When it comes, it comes. But I'm not rushing it. =)

Good day, my friends.

Since when has love had a good outcome on my life...?

...never.

Looking for love is, for me, looking for pain and misery. Why bother?

</3

And now I'm all alone again,
Nowhere to turn, no one to go to.
Without a home, without a friend,
Without a face to say hello to.
And now the night is near,
Now I can make believe he's here.

Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping.
I think of him, and then I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping.
The city goes to bed,
And I can live inside my head.

On my own,
Pretending he's beside me.
All alone,
I walk with him till morning.
Without him,
I feel his arms around me,
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me.

In the rain,
The pavement shines like silver.
All the lights,
Are misty in the river.
In the darkness,
The trees are full of starlight,
And all I see is him and me forever and forever.

And I know
It's only in my mind,
That I'm talking to myself
And not to him.
And although I know that he is blind,
Still I say,
There's a way for us.

I love him,
But when the night is over,
He is gone,
The river's just a river.
Without him,
The world around me changes.
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers.

I love him,
But every day I'm learning,
All my life,
I've only been pretending!
Without me,
His world will go on turning,
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known!

I love him...
I love him...
I love him...
But only on my own...