Great Britton's MySpace Blog

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Britt on the voices in his head...
Category: Life

I think the voices in my head are fucking each other...I sure hope they're using protection I really don't have room for another...and knowing my luck they'll have twins...

Currently watching:
The Monkees - Head
Release date: 1998-07-21

8:39 PM

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Thursday, July 16, 2009

Britt on reality television...
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

An idea for a new reality television program: "So You Think You Can Wrestle a Bear"

A take off from "So You Think You Can Dance" but replace dancing (gay) with bear wrestling (still possibly gay...depends on the bear).

Currently watching:
Grizzly Man
Release date: 2005-12-26

9:49 PM

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Saturday, October 11, 2008

Broke my right hand yesterday...
Category: Life

...there goes what was left of my sex life...

Currently listening:
Left Hand Smoke
Release date: 1999-01-05

2:19 PM

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Monday, September 22, 2008

Britt’s Shit List...
Category: Life

This post is a list of some of my least favorite things...it will be updated when new things/people upset me or when others redeem themselves (i.e., Disney)...redemption is rare since, as you'll notice, I hold a mighty tough grudge...

USPS - I have hated the USPS since I was a little kid and the mailman was mean to me and made me cry...they seem to piss me off on a weekly basis…I don't cry anymore though...
Canadians - 'nuff said…
Microsoft - Windows and Vista are crap. The only positive thing about Microsoft is MSN's Health and Fitness site (nice work Cleve!). And now they have managed to make Jerry Seinfeld look like an untalented douche bag…
Michael Bay - Mark my words...I WILL PISS ON THIS MAN'S GRAVE! And I'll buy dinner to anyone who sends him there prematurely! Dinner AND dessert!
FOX - They canceled ARReSTeD DeVeLOPMeNT, Family Guy (bringing the show back doesn't make me forget that it was once canceled) and Futurama. Other than watching NFL games I have kept to my word and have not watched FOX since they canceled ARReSTeD DeVeLOPMeNT. Fuck you FOX!
Bicyclists whose bicycle has the petals in front of them - If this was a better way to ride a bike the Tour de France would ride this way. These people are the definition of pretentious! And why do these people always seem to have a pony tail?!
Unicyclists - Also pretentious...
Bicyclists who wear race clothes around town - If you are not in a race don't wear spandex as outerwear! You look like an ass!
Prius owners - Drive the speed limit you slow fucks!! I get great gas mileage too when I drive like I'm an 80 year old but then all the fun gets sucked out of driving…
The Oscars - I'm still boycotting them from when they picked "Crash" over "The Pianist"…see I told you I hold a great grudge…
ABC - There once was a great, little-known show called "Cupid" which starred Jeremy Piven that ABC didn't give a chance and cancelled…besides a few MNF games I have not watched ABC since…flash to today…Jeremy Piven gets Emmys every year for HBO and now ABC is bringing back "Cupid" sans Jeremy Piven…retards, you missed the boat on that one. ABC also canceled "Sports Night"…the creator of that went on to make "West Wing" for NBC. Now the bastards have cancelled "Pushing Daisies"...
Mimes - 'nuff said…

Currently watching:
Schindler’s List
Release date: 2004-03-09

6:25 AM

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Sunday, April 20, 2008

In the News for April 20th 2008...
Category: News and Politics

Little known fact about Polygamists...huge Seinfeld fanatics...

4:07 PM

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Saturday, March 01, 2008

Britt on getting lucky...
Category: Romance and Relationships

Advice for men:

When you find yourself getting lucky you should not run to the corner store and buy a lottery ticket...you will find that when you get back your luck has run out and she's stolen some of your Hummel figurines...some of which were irreplaceable! Irreplaceable!

Currently watching:
Hard Luck
Release date: 21 May, 2002

4:29 PM

1 Comments

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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

In the News for February 19th 2008...
Category: News and Politics

Fidel Castro retires after 49 years in power

Do you think now that he's retired he'll move to Florida?

Currently watching:
No Country for Old Men
Release date: 11 March, 2008

4:22 PM

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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Britt on heavenly desserts...
Category: Religion and Philosophy

Remember a few years ago when a lady found the Virgin Mary on toast? Or Mother Theresa on a cinnamon bun? Or Jesus on a tortilla? One often hears about people who have "found Jesus"...I never realized we should be looking for him on food...

Makes me wonder how many Jesuses I've eaten in my lifetime...

I wonder if Jesus is high in calories?

Currently reading:
Cooking with Jesus
By Carol Lambert
Release date: 28 September, 2001

2:20 AM

5 Comments

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Thursday, January 24, 2008

In the News for January 23rd 2008...
Category: News and Politics

State Legislature has largest gay caucus in U.S.

"largest gay caucus"

Currently watching:
Brokeback Mountain (Two-Disc Collector’s Edition)
Release date: 23 January, 2007

12:39 AM

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Saturday, January 12, 2008

Britt on beauty...
Category: Writing and Poetry

I feel a need...

a need for something beautiful in my life...

a need to create something beautiful or destroy something beautiful...

either way, "beauty" will be defined.

Currently watching:
A Beautiful Mind
Release date: 22 August, 2006

4:00 AM

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Monday, December 17, 2007

In the News for December 17th 2007...
Category: News and Politics

NY couple convicted in slavery case

"Judge awards the victims with 40 acres and a mule."

Currently watching:
Bamboozled
Release date: 17 April, 2001

7:10 PM

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Two years after US soldier's death, widow has his son

Friday, October 19, 2007

In the News for October 19th 2007...
Category: News and Politics

"Storage of sperm usually costs 365 dollars a year."

Do you think it costs 366 dollars on a leap year or do you get one free day of sperm storage?

Currently watching:
Le Petit Soldat
Release date: 11 December, 2001

4:04 PM

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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

In the News for September 26th 2007...
Category: News and Politics

Nike designs shoe for American Indians

Without actually reading the article I'm assuming that the shoe is either:

A) Great for standing for long periods while dealing poker

or

B) Has a built in flask.

Currently watching:
The World’s Fastest Indian
Release date: 13 June, 2006

3:29 PM

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Monday, July 02, 2007

In the News for July 2nd 2007...
Category: News and Politics

Bush and Putin meet to discuss ties

Unfortunately nothing got accomplished...Putin knows nothing about clip-on ties...

Currently watching:
Family Ties - The Complete First Season
Release date: 20 February, 2007

4:04 PM

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