A tremendous white light permeates my mind. The growls have dissolved to a low whimper now and the stench of kerosene is overwhelming. Residue of blood in my mouth offers the rusted taste of an acidic battery, and I'm still picking out hair and flesh from between my teeth. In the belly of Gods garden there is no salvation. The darkness is weighing heavily upon my perception, the shadows breathe and after the last attack I cannot cease from anticipating more teeth. What kind of soul imagined leaving me in this blacked hole to be gnawed upon and slashed with the claws of unseen hellhound? Lost in a world of absolute fear of the unknown with stale, wet breath erratically at the nape of my neck. Years ago I was offered a choice, two doors with two absolutely different passages. I wonder which is the lesser of the two evils, its been such a long time, I can't be certain I was ever even offered a choice, or if the doors ever existed. The nightmares and the uncertainty have become my only friends. At the mercy of an unreliable equilibrium and my sharp and jagged teeth, I turn my fear into an exact weapon. I bite back at the hound. Eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth there has never been a reality equipped with greater truth than the blood that constricts through my veins with every pulse of wretched life. I have been forced to embark upon a journey through my poisoned mind, only to find a gaping wound infested with ill begotten desire. Something was long ago removed. There is a course calm inside my awareness. Something precious and discreet that holds my spirits above the flow of the unknown. My head is almost consumed, almost. One day this head shall be submerged into the abyss, and i will welcome my tormenters with open arms. I have been carving out my way for too long. The remains pile up and the decay sours the moist air around my nostrils. I remain suspended in between the pain. It is my only memory of feeling. Weakened by lifetimes of contempt, this freedom that i ingest offers only temporary relief from existence. Broken wings that have healed into misshapen abominations, entrails softly picked apart over the years. Hooves peel away revealing feeble flesh, parasites scatter when exposed to the stench of the air surrounding.

It has been through an uncertain manner that my only device has turned to vice and fully enveloped my being. I no longer see, nor feel as others do. I have done my best to convince my fears that this is evolution, this transcends what others have grown too content with, but I still harbor reservations. It is never easy to turn revelation into reality, and even harder to digest the truth that you are not solely in control of your actions. The duality that exists and resists can never remain still, and only through careful and meticulous surgery can the disease be truly extracted. Slithering beneath the skin is where you will find the sin of all men. Spending most of my life haunted by this realization I appreciate the concealment that dark passion resides inside, the way to salvation is through extraction.


Dismissed in time as perfection unwinds.