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James A. Roberson



Last Updated: 11/29/2009

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Status: Single
City: West Palm Beach
Country: US
Signup Date: 5/29/2005

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Thursday, January 01, 2009 






Hello! I'm James A. Roberson, the creator of I LOVE BAD MOVIES, a Comic Strip dedicated to giving "High Praise" to some of the Lowest Forms of Entertainment.....
The Poorly made, Over the Top, Monster Movies that Haunt the Late Night air-waves of your Local Cable channels.

 
If you would like to use any of my Comics for your Magazine, Website, or College Newspaper; you can Contact me at: robersonhorror at yahoo dot com.

 
UPDATE: My Comics can be seen at www.RogueCinema.com and www.BadMovies.org !

 
 

I also have some Non-Movie related Comic Strips!
 


 

 

 
Contact me at: robersonhorror at yahoo dot com.
 
 
 
 


Wednesday, January 30, 2008 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

 

 

Doing Lines with Friends

Or: How I Use Movie Quotes in Everyday Life

 

by James A. Roberson

 

 

If you're a Hardcore Movie Geek, like me, then you probably associate with other Movie Geeks...and when you do, you gotta talk the talk. So, let's do some lines...and see what you know...if you fall behind, I'll fill you in, at the end.

 

It's simple, if you're unhappy at work or anywhere you're at, you let'em know, "I'm not even suppose to be here Today!"

 

If someone is giving you a hard time about something you've said, then tell'em, "That's just what we call Pillow Talk, Baby." If they keep it up, then it's "Mister if you don't shut-up, I'm gonna kick One Hundred Percent of your ass!" or "Go home and get your fucking Shine Box."

 

If someone hits you with a boring story...then they ask, what you would do...just say, "I'll tell you what I'd do, man...Two chicks at the same time."

 

If you can't fit everyone in the car, it's "We're gonna need a bigger boat." (That line also works at restaurants, when you get suck in one of those crappy half-booths.)

 

If someone uses a goofy word...ask'em, "What the Hell is a Jiggawatt?"

 

If your buddy is having Chick problems, then tell him... "You're so money and you don't even know it!"  Or you could say, "Fuck it, dude...Let's go bowling."

 

If you see the Cops speed by with their sirens blasting, then you yell out, "They going to kick somebody's Ass!"

 

When things are going your way, or you've just experienced a sexual conquest, let everyone know, "It's Good to be the King."

 

"You Got my Cheese-Wiz, boy!" is a good way to greet any friend, or "What's up, Tiger Lily?"

 

If you're talking to your friends about a date you're going on..."Things go well I'll be showing her my Oh-Face...Oh, Oh."

 

If you see a hot chick or just something cool, yell out, "I'd buy that for a Dollar!"

 

"...And he told me, that on my deathbed I will receive total consciousness...So, I got that going for me." Is a line that can be implanted into any conversation, especially the last part.

 

If you're friend says something stupid, it's "Donnie, shut the Fuck-Up." (Not as funny if their name is actually Donnie...) It's like yelling out, "Dave's a Killer!" If the guy's name is Dave, people might not get it's a line.

 

For those who hate it when someone answers a question with a question..."What, ain't no country I ever heard of...They speak English in What?

 

If someone looks like they're going to be sick, hand them the nearest container and say, "If you're gonna spew...spew into this."

 

And it doesn't matter what brand of beer you're drinking, it's always fun to yell out, "Heineken...fuck that shit...Pabst Blue Ribbon." That, of course isn't an endorsement, that's just what we do...we're hardcore movie geeks, and we do lines.

     

Here's a Review for you...

 

"I'm not even suppose to be here Today!" - CLERKS (1994)

 

"That's just what we call Pillow Talk, Baby." - ARMY OF DARKNESS (1992)

 

"Mister if you don't shut-up, I'm gonna kick One Hundred Percent of your ass!" – FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH (1982)

 

"Go home and get your fucking Shine Box" - GOODFELLAS (1990)

 

"I'll tell you what I'd do, man...Two chicks at the same time." - OFFICE SPACE (1999)

 

"Where gonna need a bigger boat." - JAWS (1975)

 

"What the Hell is a Jiggawatt?" – BACK TO THE FUTURE (1985)

 

"You're so money and you don't even know it!" - SWINGERS (1996)

 

"Fuck it, dude...Let's go bowling." - THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998)

 

"They going to kick somebody's Ass!" – ROBOCOP 2 (1990)

 

"It's Good to be the King." – HISTORY OF THE WORLD PART I (1981)

 

"You Got my Cheese-Wiz, boy!" – THE BLUES BROTHERS (1980)

 

"What's up, Tiger Lily?" – MYSTERY MEN (1999) (or the title of a 1966 Woody Allen movie.)

 

"Things go well I'll be showing her my Oh-Face...Oh, Oh." - OFFICE SPACE (1999)

 

"I'd buy that for a Dollar!" – ROBOCOP (1987)

 

"...And he told me, that on my deathbed I will receive total consciousness...So, I got that going for me." – CADDYSHACK (1980)

 

"Donnie, shut the Fuck-Up." - THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998)

 

"Dave's a Killer!" – SLAP SHOT (1977)

 

"What, ain't no country I ever heard of...They speak English in What? – PULP FICTION (1994)

 

"If you're gonna spew...spew into this." - WAYNE'S WORLD (1992)

 

"Heineken...fuck that shit...Pabst Blue Ribbon" – BLUE VELVET (1986)

 

 

Wednesday, January 30, 2008 

Current mood:  annoyed

I'm Done with Movie Theaters!

by James A. Roberson

I used to be an avid moviegoer, but now the whole experience leaves me with a headache. I'm talking about...The Pre-Movie Ads. A block of vague, pretentious commercials that don't make me want to buy anything; and I have to sit and stare at it, and get Mind-Humped by it.

 

Well, I'm done. You won't see me at the Movies. I'm going to become an avid Movie renter. (Besides: Most new movies suck...Horror movies are all PG-13 with No Campy Violence, Dirty Jokes, or Tits.)

 

And I'm going to seek out Theaters that don't shove this crap into our heads, or cheap theaters that by default only play bad jazz over a slideshow of ads for the local foot doctor.

 

For sometime now, I have stopped watching TV commercials, by muting my TV and looking the other way. This, I believe, has caused me to develop intolerance for commercials; which would explain my Movie Theater headaches.   

 

Maybe I'm just nuts, or maybe, it's a moment of clarity.