Knowing
I am from a place of diluted sunshine
Knowing that colored play-dough will be mine.
Walking around with my fingers full of dirt
Knowing that the yellow-green sponges will hurt.
Scrubbing the clay and boogers of my hands
Knowing that playing with legos makes me the man.
Seeing my friends run on the playground
Knowing that when I came home I will hear loud sounds.
Mom is yelling at Dad, he's drunk
Knowing deep inside my father is a punk.
There are things I did back in the day
Knowing some good some bad you could say.
I escaped outside on the hot asphalt
Knowing that I was never at fault.
My parents had fights about every night
Knowing that vodka and Peter had put up a fight.
The alcohol had a contagious infection
Knowing that it was his lethal injection.
The shit lasted until the divorce
Knowing that for most kids that is the worse.
I'm 18, many years have passed
Knowing that someone is buried under the grass.
He died in a park very sad and lonely
Knowing that he considered himself a phony.
I loved this man, truthfully I did
Knowing that he shot himself but not in the head.
This hurts inside, I'm serious it's true
Knowing Dad, I will always pray for you.
Every day you see me laughing and joking
Knowing that my inner feelings are choking.
I think it's better to talk, that's always the best
Knowing that Mr. Beebe is finally at rest.