Brandon and I pull up to the Ottobar, a punk rawk club in Baltimore City, at about 9:30. GBH, a legendary English punk outfit, is playing tonight and we don't want to miss the action. Swarms of punkers stand outside the club smoking cigarettes. Baltimore's new ban on indoor smoking is displeasing to the group of rabble-rousers, anarchists, and indie types despite their big government politics.

Brandon meets and greets. He knows more people than I since I left the scene; a pair of older guys in their 50s who totally don't belong, a rotund guy with long hair who could be Gimli from Lord of the Rings, a scrawny short kid (surprisingly not me!) with a tall lithe girlfriend. Nearly all wear rocker T-Shirts. Many have mohawks and colored hair; leather jackets, even in the September heat, are perfectly acceptable. There are chains and spiked jean jackets, even a guy dressed up as a banana.

We make our way into the building, roomier than the Ottobar's last location. Guys air drumming with drum sticks sell T-Shirts and CDs behind folding tables. I notice the lack of smoke inside...never before this year. I get a beer and head down to the stage, worming my way through the crowd, making sure my 5'4" frame doesn't go unnoticed and accidently get crushed in the swarm.

A band by the name of The Krum Bums takes the stage. Donned in leather with mohawks, living in a van, and touring from Texas gives them instant cred. They start up with a flurry of expletives, a hammering guitar, and something I dare call a melody. The crowd gives way making a hole where two dozen once stood. Six or seven young men start running in a circle where the crowd was, their fists pounding toward the ground, their backs curved like hunchbacks, their knees coming up to their chins. Others from different parts of the crowd being to enter in, pushing their way through the crowd, to join the tornado of testosterone as it spins counter clockwise. With clenched fists I join in.

Soon the circle pit is so full and so fast I have no idea how anyone else can even enter it safely. Doing so would be akin to boarding a moving train with hammers swinging from the ceiling. Yet more still do. You must not fear, you must be fast, you must be willing to take a shot to join this maddening frenzy of human flesh, denim, and aluminum.

The pushing and shoving reaches a climax. Those on the fringes of the pit, perhaps more dangerous than the pit itself, guard themselves from the fists, knees, and elbows jutting out, and the bodies sent careening outside the perimeter like a race car thrown off the track into a crowd. When one does, and it happens often, a half dozen hands pick him and toss him back into the frenzy whether he asks for it or not.

The males on the fringe stand in front of their females, protecting their mates from the competition. Only a few girls actually join in the fray, the mosh pit is still a man's world, full of blood and bone and spit.

The Krum Bums give way to Whole Wheat Bread, a punk band with some hip hop influence (huh? Yeah.). During their punkest moments the circle pit remains alive, but when the band gives way to hip hop roots the crowd begins a gradual shift. The pit slows, the men begin to pound the air to the rhythm with clenched fists, and the girls, all over the audience, begin to sway their hips and fluff their hair and perform their sensual dance like amateur strippers.

We head upstairs where the beer is cheaper (For the record, Brandon doesn't drink). I'm hanging out with Brandon and the two old out of place guys. A large mirrors hangs the length of the wall. A girl, clad in black like everyone else stares at herself in the mirror and begins moving her chest around. She notices my puzzled look and says "Boobs lopsided," laughs, and walks away.

Finally, the long awaited headliner takes the stage. The pit begins its glorious circle again. As the band revs up into high gear, the pit loses any and all sense of gravity, the spinning stops, and the pit explodes. No longer does it spin and spin and spin, now bodies collide in any manner possible. The fists fly, the knees jerk, and more bodies hit the floor than have all night.

One tough skinhead, feeling slighted by someone in the fray, starts yelling. The offender tries to make peace to no avail. The skinhead stares him down and before anything violent starts he escapes in the pit. The skinhead stares on for minutes, unable to let the altercation subside, a bouncer sidles up to make sure peace prevails.

Brandon and I are tired. We are hungry. We pack our proverbial bags and head out the door for Taco Bell. We talk religion, we talk porn, we talk bands, we talk the scene. I've been to a lot shows but I can't get it out of my head. Somewhere back there, somewhere back in the pit, I have questions. Why all the mock violence? Especially from suburban white teenagers (and lots of "adults" as well). What do they get out of it? Probably excitement from their dull lives and an American dream that promises dull rewards.

I ask myself: "Where was Jesus in that place? Was I His only representative?" I hope not, I represented nothing.

Then I get this creeping thought, this nagging suspicion. "It's all summed up back there, isn't it?" The men, it's always men, showing off their masculinity, brazenly in front of the women. Bare knuckled, slack jawed, Neanderthalism. They protect their females from the other warriors, trying to impress, guard them against battle, protect them from the violence. The women, God Bless 'em, dress to impress, sway their hips, lift their boobs, take extra special care of their looks on this special night out. They are looking for their Prince Charming in a den of trolls.

Yet these people are believe that the old status quo has run its course. These kids; progressives, anarchists, feminists, social outcasts, the dregs of society, have envisioned a better world much different from the past. To them the old world is gone and we are entering a new era of enlightenment. An era without property, where all genders are equal, where peace is preferred to violence. 'Really?' I wonder. From here, from the fringe of the mosh pit, humanity looks the same as it ever was.

[That really concludes my blog. If you've made it this far hats off to you, my friend. But I have to add, especially on the topic of gender, that if these people, if these ultra leftists, still obey the traditional gender roles, I wonder if they can be loosed at all. Perhaps this is something deep down in the roots of who we are as homosapien. Something earthier and more mystical than we can even imagine. From our chromosomes to our spirits perhaps this thing cannot be broken. I think the early men and women behaved in similar ways, certainly we have since the dawn of recorded history, and it isn't confined to one geographic area. All men, from all times and locations, have been more violent than women. And likewise women have been the fairer, more even keeled, yet more emotional, of the sexes. Perhaps it is not so much what we are as who we are. Perhaps the damned thing, no matter what we do, cannot be shaken. Perhaps that is not a bad thing. Perhaps.]

Life

Last night I met a new fellow. We played some music and what have you, talked punk rawk. Good times, really. It's been years since I've played drums with anybody, I just don't meet a lot of people I like to play music with anymore. Most people want to whine about girls or politics or something.......no one wants to just sing about life anymore. Existance. Love. People trying to get through this world in one piece. No one sings about it. Everyone sings about "me". Sad.

Religion

So my new friend is an agnostic. I get along with agnostics like I get along with everyone else, good times. You ever notice how profound religious thinking can come from the most unexpected places? Like athiests, small children, and your dog? Even if someone says something you disagree with it opens up new doors.

A rough quote about homosexuals from my new friend: "If there is a God, and if He created the universe and all the planets and plants and animals do you think a God that big cares about two guys who sleep with each-other?"

Personally, I do. I think God cares about each and everyone of us individually. I think he has a plan for us. Not to be "good" people, but to be exceptional people. To be people who truely care about eachother and live, not for ourselves, but for those around us. But here's the kicker! Have you ever noticed how religious people always think that God thinks just like them? The extreme version of this is the Unitarian Universalist Church. They openly and admittedly just believe whatever they want about God and that's okay with them. But a born-again Christian who has a thing against gays........well, God does too. A Muslim extremist who wants to behead Americans........well, Allah wants that too. A Buddhist that gets sick and burns off karma.........Buddah wants that. A Christian chick wearing short-short skirts........well, God doesn't care about how we dress. Athiests, don't believe in God because they typically can't see themselves getting along with Him. Hell, at least they don't make God out to be someone He's not.

If there is a God, and if He created the universe and all the planets and plants and animals do you think a God that big is going to become whoever we think He ought to be?

God is who God is. He doesn't need my approval to be Himself. I don't have to like God's decision making. I don't have to like His rules or His way of running the planet. My wishes of what I think God should be doing don't matter at all. He's God. I'm Tim. My personal opinions just don't matter, do they? The truth is, I've probably failed to be an "exceptional" person. I know I've made God into things I want Him to be. I'd never do this to another human being, why do I do with God?

Football.

Is it just me or was that field goal at the end of the Ravens-Browns game just amazing? Years from now we'll all be talking about it. That was some crazy shit. The Patriots aren't good..........they are terrifying. I love Bellicheck's way of never thinking the game is over. I love the idea that you don't play to lose but you play to win. Too many teams in the league play ball control, trying to limit mistakes. Not only is it boring as hell to watch, I like teams who have confidence to take the win. That's why they win. Teams that play not to lose lose against the Patriots because they fear losing.....

The Ravens.........well, they suck. 

If you've been around Americans or American politics in the last couple years you hear a lot of people calling other people "Hitler" or a "Nazi" or some variation thereof. You'll also hear people calling others a "racist". The idea is simple, if you can show similarities between, say, Bush and Hitler, then you can prove he is a bad person. This all extends from the serious lack of any national character or set moral boundries in our own society. Nearly everyone in this country agrees that racism is bad and nearly everyone agrees that Hitler is akin to the Devil (but since a lot of country doesn't believe in the Devil but believes in Hitler it works better using Hitler). National character is completely void of "good" and "bad". Single black women having kids is "good", if you say otherwise you are a racist. Single white women having kids is "good", saying otherwise means you are opposed to women's rights.

Let's be clear. Bad is Hitler. Bad is racism. Everything outside that is up for grabs. Do what you want, just don't kill any Jews or say anything about blacks (including the word "picnic".......just ask me).

I'm convinced that this is confusing for society at best. First off, Hitler killed 10,000,000 or so people. He lined them up and gassed them or shot them. That's pretty low. Do we want to set the bar to badness that low? Can't bad be, say, Kelis? (The rap performer who performs the "Milkshake" song)

Here's a sample:

" My Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And their like "It's better than yours"
Damn right, It's better than yours,
I can teach you, but I have to charge"

Of course, she's talking about her breasts and the way they shake. Besides for being vulgar it's also just stupid. Moronic. Really, adding very little here to the human condition as a whole. We could spend millions of dollars feeding the hungry or something, instead we sink millions into pressing records about tits. Kelis and her record ain't Hitler, that's not the point. The point is that the standard for badness needs to be raised so more people can see behavior that isn't simply maliciously violent but also stupid, inane, childish, selfish, and vulgar as being bad.

Honestly, who can live up to Hitler's standard of killing 10,000,000 people? Anyone? Stalin, maybe?

Who can live up to being an vulgar idiot like Kelis? I know I can from time to time. 

Jesus Christ, when called good, said something like: "No one but God is good".

Let's get this straght. The guy who healed the lame, the guy who never sinned, the guy who died for the world's bad deeds, the guy who was sinless, blameless, and without defect said he wasn't good? Well, shit, where does that place me? Where does it place you?

Instead of earning goodness by not doing things (EG- Not killing 10,000,000 people) maybe we should attempt to earn goodness by doing good things. In fact, here's my challenge, for the next week every person who you come into contact with make their day a little better. Telemarketers. Grocery Store Baggers. Your Wife. Everyone, make their life easier. Make them smile. Not killing people is nice but bettering people, that takes effort. That is what makes us "good", if any such thing exists. Pissing people off, that makes you "bad". Every time you spread a foul attitude, give someone the finger, act apathetic toward someone.......you get the idea. Don't do that. Aim for goodness. You won't be Jesus, but you won't be Kelis either. And trust me, being on a different, higher level than Kelis is a good thing. 

First off. After 580 reads I still have three readers. That needs to change. What do I have to do? Add humor? Free iTunes? Sell speed via myspace? What? I'm a sellout so tell me.

Anyway, if you've been following along you should know my fam and I left church and have been on a sabbatical from churchgoing for a couple months.

In its stead I've read Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claiborne which I highly recommend. Also, I found this book "A Portrait fo Jesus" by Joseph Girzone, an ex-Cathlolic priest. I'm not done it but it's really sharp. Both books emphasize a Christianity that, like, does shit. Not just belief, which the evangelical community pushes like some sort of pyramid scheme, but action. (This isn't to say you have to earn your way to heaven, rather, it places the focus of believers in a new direction than contemporary thought.)

I don't know how I got to this point. One person that has been kinda pulling me in this direction is someone I don't even know, Daniel Spenrath, who runs a blog on MySpace. 

Anyway, he goes to a mennonite church and Liz and I went to a Mennonite in our area twice. I'm still not sold but I have to say, I enjoyed it alot more than other services I've been too.

For one, after the service anyone can speak their mind about the service, ask for prayer, send up a praise, share a thought. It's good. In fact, today the pastor gave a sermon on works vs. faith, something we've been struggling with for some time. It hit home, really.

In the meantime the neighbor kids are not stealing from us anymore. Though across the street some dude raped a 14 year old girl. Now, if you're a true blue mennonite you don't believe in the death penelty. If you're me you hang the dude.

Anyway, if you like metal check out this band I've been into for 12 years, Compression. Stuff is old but sounds fresher than a head of lettuce from the farmer's market.

Compression

And my buddy's band, Seventh Seal.

Over the years I've gone back and forth on the death penelty. I think people, especially Christians, have good reasons to be opposed to its use. As an anarchist and a Christian, I find the situation difficult. For instance, I don't really agree with the state's ability to take someone's life. As a Christian I believe in second chances, forgiveness, and grace.

But as a man some things are just plain inexcusable.

Like this dude who killed Jessica Lunsford. Kidnapped her, raped her, and buried her alive. How in bloody hell do you excuse that?!?! That guy (I'm omitting his name because he doesn't deserve any fame) deserves to die. He has to own up to what he did. A man's job is to protect those who cannot do so themselves. When a man sees someone in need he should buckle down and help. Men who use their physical superiority, aggression, and enhanced sexual desire to premeditate harm to others can hang for all I care. I think someone said once: "Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out."

Whenever you see a story about some kid who disappeared you gotta think, like I do, "Some convicted sex offender nabbed that kid and killed him/her". You don't just go from being super nice guy to child killer overnight. It starts with child porn and leads onto other stuff. Eventually they get caught. Then they get out. Maybe they get caught again. They get out again. Eventually they kill some kid.

I was in court a couple years back and there was this old white dude. Molested two of his grandkids. His daughters got on the stand and said he molested them as well when they were kids (Statute of limitations maybe prevented prosecution from those old crimes). Guy got two years.........of probation. I know he was old, like 70 or something, but he can still overpower a child. What should he get? "Life Sentence, buddy. You gonna die in jail. Welcome to the New Jersey Correctional Institute's Marriott. Enjoy your stay. Tommorrow maybe we'll hang you. Maybe not. Maybe the day after......or the day after that." How's that for an uncomfortable suspense?

We had a story last year about some mother who let her kids be baby-sat by a convicted sex offender. The offender was sending the kid text messages like "I love you so much" (I think the kid was 12). The mother knew it. The guy killed the kid. Then the state wanted to prosecute the mother for negligence or something. Wasn't it the state who let the guy out of jail? If the state thought he was threat he needed to be locked up. (For the record, I believe the mother to be morally negligent but possibly not criminally so). How can the state how hold people accountable when they fail in the most basic of governmental purposes.......to protect the community. That's why we institute governments. To lock people up and wage war and kill people whenever necessary. That's the real reason to have a government. They need to take care of the pricks who harm people. Really, really take care of them. 

I see the obvious contradictions. Jesus forgave, so should we. Jesus got a group of guys to not stone a chick. I get it. Really.

In my book there are three crimes worth the death of an offender.

Rape. Murder. Kidnapping.

Depending on the circumstances, depending on the evidence, I think these crimes need a harsh punishment if the families of the victims so choose a harsh punishment. The victims themselves or the ones left living need to decide the best course of action to feel like justice has been served. The state alone shouldn't make such judgements. And if it is chosen then it needs to be swift and it needs to be public (again, if the victims so choose).

We live in a society where we care more for violent offenders then those they hurt. We admit sexual offenders are probably gonna do it again but we let 'em go free. Men and women both have worked real hard to make sex non-commital, anonymous, and cheap. We've depersonalized sex. We've sensationlized violence. No wonder this shit happens.

First, I think everyone should subscribe to my blog. I know I'm a long winded blow-hard but you like me, right? No? Well, I like me. That's what counts.

The kids and I loaded up the truck to take some stuff to the dump. The house we bought came with a rusty old swingset so I took it down and loaded it up. The wife wanted to go so all of a sudden we had a family outing.........TO THE DUMP!!! (YAY!! What FUN!!!  )

Anyway, when we got there we pulled up along the scrap metal pile to throw the swingset away. Now this pile is, like, 30 feet high and 50 feet in diameter. I noticed, right away, dozens of grills, mostly propane, set to the side. I'm thinking: "They can't all be broken? Can they?". In the pile were assorted weed eaters, dog cages and lots and lots of bicycles.

Now, I've been looking for a bicycle for myself for ages so I can ride with the kids. And the wife and I were thinking: "Man, if we could get some of those bikes we could give 'em to underprivilaged kids in the city!!!". Given, some of them were clearly garbage; but most of 'em showed no signs of major disrepair.

We asked the guy "Hey, can we get some of those bikes?"

"No" the guy replied "No scavenging"

"Well, maybe you could set some to the side for us and we could pick them up tommorrow"

"No can do. We are not allowed to do that. We could lose our jobs."

"Well, if we just grab some when you're not looking?"

"No. You can ask me for some when we're not busy and I might allow you to grab a few."

(Now didn't he just say he couldn't allow scavenging or he'd lose his job? I'm beggining to lose my mind.)

While we're there I see two people unload 3 bicycles and chuck 'em. All of 'em were in fair condition. In the end we snagged one, basically brand new but didn't have a seat. One of the dump guys offered us a grill. Mostly, they wanted us gone and to just let the stuff be.

In fact, one of the guys that works there told us a story of how one lady brought in a perfectly good bike. He asked her why she ditching it.

"Daughter outgrew it" she said.

"Get her a new bike?" dump worker dude asked.

"No. Got her a BMW" the lady replied.

Ah, our grand throw away society. I'm thinking, there are thousands of kids who don't even have a bike, who live ten miles from here, and we are chucking perfectly good stuff. It's disgusting. They won't even allow me to grab "garbage" to give it to underprivilaged kids. It's the rich people's garbage. No poor people allowed. The fuckin' rich won't even let the poor have shit they don't even want. Is this what Jesus would want?

In the meantime I'm reading "A Portrait of Jesus". It's a good quick read. I'll let you know what I think when I'm done.

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This comes from a Post on the Elevation Church Forums. The person I am talking to thinks the church needs to talk more about sexual sin, I do not. I think that fills you in enough to understand what is going on. To see the entire [short] thread, click here.

I disagree that the church doesn't talk about sex on Sunday mornings. Every church I've ever gone to has its annual or bi-annual sex talk. Is there honest talk? I just don't know how honest you want to get about a personal thing like sex in a big crowd that might not want to hear it.

I agree that sexual sin is pervasive in the church. But sexual sin is pervasive in society as a whole. One could say: "The sexual lives of Christians versus Non-Christians are virtually identical." I'd agree. But perhaps, on a grander scale it would be more appropiate to say: "The lives of Christians versus Non-Christians are virtually identical."

I don't think the issue is sex in and of itself. It's an issue of a lost and confused bride.

The evangelical movements of the last 50 years have paved the way for an easy gospel. I assure you, such a thing does not exist. We have a "relationship with a Jesus" a "Free Gift" a "simple prayer" we "accept him as our Lord and Savior".........all of these things are part of the Easy Gospel Movement of the past 50-80 years to address an ever declining pew count. Again, no easy Christianity is available from God, thus the prominate sexual sin lives of those in church.

The Easy Gospel Preaches Faith over Works.
The true Gospel Preaches Works as a testament to faith.

The Easy Gospel Preaches Fear of Sin.
The True Gospel conquers sin.

The Easy Gospel makes your life with Christ a "personal" thing. Akin to masturbating or actually having enjoyed Star Wars Episode I.
The True Gospel is a community thing.

The Easy Gospel says owning an SUV in the burbs in a highly Christianized sub-division with a few well placed "Know Jesus, Know Peace" bumper stickers is THE Christian lifestyle.
The True Gospel tells us to sell all of our shit and follow Him.

The Gospel is too easy. And when it comes to sexual sin, so are Christians. I wonder why.

Have you ever "Googled" yourself? I have. I think it is a sign of severe narcissism.

Yesterday, while on the phone and doing odd things at the office, I googled myself, er, rather "somasoul". Lots of things came up, like my profile on various message boards and sites for porn (This never used to happen. I think the porn industry stole my name!!!). In the course of discovering things about me I came acros this SITE, RedWatch.Net. I couldn't really view it at work because it was labeled "Racism and Hate" (or whatever). So I did so when I got home.

Apparently RedWatch is an Anti-Marxist hate site devoted to white power. Both opposed to communism and capitalism, they call themselves "socialists". I'm a bit confused.

Anyway, they ganked my picture off line. See, part of their deal is posting "enemies" on the net, their pictures, address', whatever they can find. And while the don't advocate violence, they certainly provide the means to carry out hostile acts against their supposed enemies or those they deem "traitors".

I find all this amusing, and a bit unsettling. I'm not a Marxist by any means (Capitalist-Anarchist, maybe?). Other people from the Zach De La Roche Forums were on there as well, a source of much debate for me the last few years.

The entire irony behind the whole thing is, many in American politics would consider me a "Racist". The term is so broadly brushed these days one needs to only be raised in the suburbs to be called one.

It seems to be the story of my life, always getting blamed for something I never did.

Check out my infamy online: My Mugshot. I'm Marxist #2, about a 1/4 of the way down. (Punks even used a pic with my daughter in it!!)

Sincerly, your Marxist/Anti-Racist/Capitalist/Enemy of White Folk,

somasoul

*Update* You might want to read my last blog if you haven't.

The kids' grandmother came by and gave us some of our stuff back. My wife met her, I didn't, and she said that the grandmother was nice. I wish it turned out different but it certainly didn't turn out bad.

*End Update*

I just got back from one day in New York for "Light Fair International", the largest lighting trade show in the world, me thinks. It was huge. I came home Tuesday night at 10 and was back out the door at 8:30 am on Wednesday for three days in Gettysburg (Turning point of the Civil War for anyone who slept during History Class). Now I'm back.

When you hit the road your life is gets put on hold. I don't know if you ever travel for business, but it's literally like putting your personal life on "Pause". You get back and your family mostly waited for you and nothing has changed and nobody seems to have done anything of signifigance during your absence. Maybe my life is just boring. The only thing that is of substantial difference is the height of the grass on the lawn. Damn.

I saw Spider-Man for the second time in Gettysburg. I liked it better the second time. (The first time was mid-nite on Thursday). I think this is the third best trilogy ever made following Star Wars and The Lord of the Rings. All three movies are sharp and really watchable. There isn't a stinker in the bunch. I like the characters and the good versus evil themes and the humanity behind the characters. I congratulate Sam Raimi for bringing life to characters who are preposterous, it's gotta be hard to do. I look at a film like "Saving Private Ryan" and think how easy it must be to bring life to dramatic characters who spend the whole film looking serious and crying. Then how hard it must be to bring humanity to a character who turns into a dustball and floats away or Hellboy with all that red makeup and special effects. Indeed, that is the one thing lots of superhero movies miss completely is how to make the characters lifelike and believeable.

No theology this week. If you need your weekly fix of someone challenging the church check out Daniel Spenrath's Blog. He's a mennonite or something and he's my age, though I'm better looking. I read lots of blogs and most are wastes of space, his isn't. I don't always agree but I like the thought of someone out there looking for solutions instead of just bitching.

Anyway, no big heavy stuff this week. I pray you all learn to turn the other cheek and seek forgiveness. Indeed, I pray for it myself.

Well, let's get back on track. Last week I was in a bad mood and I took it out on some people. I apologize. This week I want to re-affirm why I started this blog, to post my growing in struggling with Christ's commands.

For those 2 or 3 of you that read this blog ignore the next paragraph, the rest of you, a little update. I live in Baltimore, high crime, high drug use, feral children run about. I have 4 kids. Part of moving here was to get uncomfortable, leave the suburbs and see what develops.

So about a week ago we had these two kids wander into our yard. They were about 5-6 years old. They played with our kids for a bit. Next day, they came back in greater numbers (5 of 'em). The oldest, my wife found out, was six. The youngest two couldn't tell me if they were two or three. Now for you suburban types, this is normal in the city. 6 year old kids babysitting kids that are 2 years old. They run around the neighborhood like a pack of feral dogs. Their parents, God bless 'em, are typically useless wastes of flesh.

My wife told 'em to go home and get their mom, bring her over, then the kids could play in our yard. My wife felt like she was watching these kids and wanted to know what was up. The kids left and never brought their mom. But they came back over the course of the next couple days and we told them to go home (wherever home was).

About three days ago I started to notice stuff missing out of the yard. My kids' toys mostly. And yesterday, as I was up on the third floor, I saw one of them come into our yard and steal some of the kids' toys. As I suspected. They took all the kids' bats and balls, trucks, frisbees, etc. Luckily not the bikes. About ten minutes after I saw one of them steal some stuff, I saw him come back. I ran outside and when he saw me he looked dumbfounded. I yelled at him "Get your butt up here on my porch right now!!!". I sat his ass in my dining room and gave him a coloring book. I convinced my wife that we should call the cops to document that we told these kids to leave our property (We have a trampoline and stuff they could get hurt on and I don't doubt that their parents would sue us in a heartbeat).

Anyway, Baltimore's finest took over an hour to show up, and during that time I lost my sense and started to play on the computer and the kid ran off.

Anyhoo (damn this is longer than I like), I drove around the neighborhood looking for where these kids live. I finally found it and in the process met some cool neighbors who told me to "let it be" lest these kids' older brothers key my car or worse. I can't roll over like that, it ain't in me.

My wife, ever an example of Christiandom, had a plan. She handed me our t-ball set. told me to go over to their house, ask for their parents and say: "Your kids have been stealing stuff out of our yard. All our bats, balls, etc are gone. But I noticed you have little kids who can't pitch and they'll probably be in need of this." And thusly hand them our t-ball set.

I was amazed. I've yet to do it because their parents weren't home yesterday. But my wife's example was a good one. I wanted to beat some faces in. Not just over some stolen toys, but for a major lack in good parenting (Didn't their parents notice an abundance of new, large toys around the house?!?!?). My wife suggested a more Christlike way.

Anyway, I plan to do it today. I'll post a comment to keep you up to date.