Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 22
Sign: Capricorn
State: Maine
Country: US
Signup Date: 3/31/2007
|
|
|
|
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
|
Comedy! It’s just the cure for that mashed potato-malaise you know
is coming this Thursday. This week’s new releases are a mixed bag as
Videoport Jones and I are concerned about Judd Apatow’s latest film and
rail against Dan Brown’s spooky DaVinci Empire. And again we’re forced
to ask “Holiday movies, really Hollywood? Really?!”
Funny People
Videoport Jones: “I love Judd Apatow. ‘The 40 Year
Old Virgin’ and ‘Knocked Up’ both served to revitalize screen comedy
with their unique blend of improv-flavored dialogue (which practically
tingles up there on the screen), a stable of nimble comic actors who
specialize in such dialogue, and an audience-pleasing yet
surprisingly-mature and resonant sensibility. Plus, they are two of the
funniest damned things I’ve seen in a decade. (He’s so money that my
friend, the estimable Guak, and I ritualistically greet each other,
whenever the man and his films are mentioned, with the refrain
“Apa-TOW!”) So, I was understandably, ridiculously excited for this,
his third film, and, sadly, I must report that his streak is over. Now,
I am not, at all, saying that ‘Funny People’ is a bad movie – it most
certainly is not. I will say however, that in this case the delicate
alchemy that turned his first two films into (in my humble opinion) two
of the best comedies in recent years is off-kilter here, and the
results are…mixed. The story of a spoiled star of such lowbrow,
high-concept comedies as Merman and Re-Do (Adam Sandler, being pretty
bold with the self-parody) who discovers he’s gravely ill and hires a
struggling young comedian (a slimmed-down Seth Rogen) to help him
return to his standup roots (and pursue the one who got away), ‘Funny
People’ is nothing if not ambitious; a deconstruction of standup
comedians, a buddy picture, a raunchy-yet-melancholy mediation on life
and death, a chance for Apatow’s ensemble to show off their improv
chops – check, check, check, and check. The film starts out very well
indeed, with Sandler proving, as he did in ‘Punch Drunk Love’ and
‘Spanglish,’ that, lurking inside his doofus manboy persona lurks a
more-than-passable dramatic actor (he’s especially good at hinting at
the reservoir of loneliness underneath), and Rogen matching up well as
the new assistant/companion who moves from hero-worship to ambivalent
accomplice as Sandler’s condition causes him to make some questionable
decisions. Sandler eases into the Apatow stable gracefully and he
really holds the screen, at least until things start to get muddy about
2/3rds of the way through, when, chasing down his now-married real love
(Leslie Mann) to her family’s home, he, and the movie, just sort of sit
around her house and mope. In his director’s commentaries, Apatow is
always candid about the fact that the success of his films comes
largely down to the editing room where he, heretofore, has been adept
at pulling together the masses of footage (he encourages his talented
cast to improvise) into a cohesive whole. Well, this time, I think
‘Funny People’ gets away from him. Stil l- good work from Sandler and
Rogen (who create a pair of surprisingly-complicated characters and
aren’t afraid to be sort of unlikeable at times), Mann (until her
character becomes inconsistent), Eric Bana (a hoot as Mann’s hunky
Aussie husband), and Jonah Hill and Jason Schwartzman (slyly funny as
Rogen’s more successful friends), and a noble attempt from Apatow to
stretch himself a little.”
Justin: “I’d sum it up as ambitious but uneven. I
don’t know how better to describe it, though some have said it’s almost
like two movies. Which is fitting because Apatow is doing many things
with ‘Funny People,’ but it’s largely a love letter to the world of
celebrity stand-up comedy…with an ill-advised romance thrown in. This
movie is unbelievably touching and funny (a trademark of Apatow) when
it is dealing with Sandler’s character trying to come to grips with who
he is as a person and as a comic. You’re right when you say that
Sandler has some sneaky dramatic chops because in this movie he brings
out a lot of raw emotion as someone trying to come to grips with death.
This is all weaved together with a behind-the-curtain look at the world
of comedy and insights on writing comedy, competition and the
personalities in the comic world. And my GOD the cameos are too long
and funny to list (though I will say once again Aziz Ansari knocks the
ball out of the park in a minor role. See if you can guess who his character is lampooning).
And then, suddenly, this all comes crashing to a halt and you wind up
in this torturous romantic story which, if I’m being honest, is pretty
poorly conceived and hard to watch. Apatow pushes the Sandler’s
character too far in trying to redeem and fix his life, and really
throws the movie off as Sandler tries to win back Mann. It’s surely a
miss, especially when you consider the romantic plots in his other
movies were executed almost seamlessly. Still, I’ll agree that this is
not a bad movie. I repeat: This is not a bad movie. Just a flawed one.
Rent it for the funny, not for the people. ZING!”
Angels & Demons
VPJ: “It’s the sequel to ‘The Da Vinci Code!’
That’s pretty much all we have to say, really, isn’t it? I mean, people
who would want to watch this are already fanatical about doing so, and
the rest of us, well, what would it take for us to actually sit through
he whole thing? Money? Sure, I’d let someone pay me, say twenty bucks
to watch it. Threats? That didn’t work with ‘The Sisterhood of the
Traveling Pants.’ Sexual blackmail? Well, who’s asking? But I kid
underperforming would-be blockbusters made from laughably-written pulp
novels. Tom Hanks is back as the smarty-pants expert in all things
spooky and church-y, uncovering poorly-researched arcane rituals,
secret societies, cabals, and whatnot, with the requisite hotsy arm
candy assistant (this time it’s ‘Munich’s’ Ayelet Zurer) by his side,
and blandly-competent director pal Ron Howard blanding things up along
the way. I dunno, it royally cheesed off religious types, which I can
appreciate, but Dan Brown’s inexplicably-popular bestsellers have a
distinct, laughable aura about them (check out this article examining some of his most laughable prose),
and, as likeable as Hanks remains, I’m just not prepared to watch him
dodge poison arrows like Indy in a hairpiece without getting the
giggles.”
JE: “I think we’ll just have to sit in the back of
the theater and heckle this franchise, because much like the Harry
Potter phenomenon and (lord help us) ‘Twilight,’ this is a juggernaut
that cannot be stopped by conventional means. Maybe we should start our
own clandestine society to expose and stop these movies from being
made? We can all wear cloaks and meet in scary locations. There will
also be snacks. I feel this is a good plan. ANYHOO, this film has
things I would usually like, including Hanks, Howard and Ewan McGregor.
And I’m not afraid to admit I can get sucked into nefarious
plot/alternate history/adventure riddle stories from time to time. The
thing that turns me off is that it’s all presented a little too
seriously. Somehow this whole adventure involves the Vatican and the
Large Hadron Collider? And the only person to save the day is a
’symbologist?’ If you want me to follow an adventure at least give the
hero a realistic sounding day job. Was anthropologist or archeologist
not sexy enough? I’m with you on this one buddy, count me in for
watching it only if it’s MST3K-style over a couple of beers. Also,
those cloaks.”
Four Christmases
VPJ: “Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn are a very
height-inappropriate couple; he’s listed at 6′5″, while she’s billed at
a charitable 5′1″, and when she’s standing all pixieish and wee next to
his hulking mass, it’s just plain incongruously-adorable. Why am I
spending so much time on this height issue? Well, it’s either that or
talk about the movie they’re in, yet another in the nearly-identical
succession of seemingly-mandatory holiday comedies we are subjected to
every year. This time, they’re a selfishly happy couple who
successfully avoid their four divorced parents until, well, they don’t
and the movie begins. Then we go see each of the four families in turn,
and they’re wacky, and everybody falls down, and there’s at least one
cute pet, and then there’s the hugging. Slumming older stars filling
the parent quotient this time include Robert Duvall, Sissy Spacek, Jon
Voight, and Mary Steenburgen, while professional Vaughn pal Jon
Favreau’s on hand to keep big Vince company. I laughed one and a half
times. Enjoy.”
JE: “I really, really wish that Vaughn and Favreau
could just get together and make another buddy flick and stop
supporting each other when they’re slumming it. In some respects its
admirable because they’re trying to help each other out (or make the
other suffer as much as they are.) and that’s what friends do. On the
other hand we end up with stuff like this and ‘Couple’s Retreat.’ I
just recently caught part of ‘Swingers’ again on TV. Now aside from the
fact that I watched this movie too many times to count in college and
it was cornerstone of my relationship with my roommate, it’s a
reasonably good film. Why? Because of the chemistry of Vaughn and Favs.
Please guys, help us all out. And while I’m in a ranting mood, you know
what the worst part is about these holiday movies? They subject the
public to them in two big publicity pushes, because unlike regular DVD
releases, holiday films only get dropped in theaters and on DVD once a
year. December. It’s a magical season, where we get reminded, ‘Oh yeah,
I had no interest in seeing that in the theaters, and I really have no
interest in renting it.’ Hollywood, just do everyone a favor. If you’re
not going to make better holiday movies at least just release them on
DVD in the same time table as other movies? Don’t rub it in our faces
in the name of yuletide spirit. Add holiday movies to the list of
targets for our secret organization.”
Shorts
VPJ: “Robert Rodriguez is a cool story. Raising the
money for his (still best) film ‘El Mariachi’ by literally selling his
body for medical experiments, seeing that movie catch on, and then
vaulting into the Hollywood big time (‘The Faculty,’ ‘Desperado,’ ‘Once
Upon a Time in Mexico,’ ‘From Dusk ‘Til Dawn’) but using that industry
cred to start his own production company to make a series of
kid-centric adventure films – it’s a feel good story for the ages. I
just wish I liked his movies better. Especially these special
effects-heavy kiddie things (the Spy Kids franchise, ‘The Adventures of
Shark Boy and Lava Girl,’ and this one, about a magical wish-granting
rock…yeah). I hate it when mediocre reality gets in the way of my warm
fuzzies.”
JE: “This is going to be one of those few occasion
where we’ll have to disagree old chum. As Ron Burgundy once said,
‘Well, when in Rome.” While not terribly original, ‘El Mariachi’ was a
fun, bullet-ridden movie. ‘The Faculty’ gave us one of the most
memorable acting experiences of Jon Stewart’s career. (Seriously people
go seek it out. Ranks very high on the unintentional comedy scale). And
his kids movies aren’t half bad. The Spy Kids stuff and even ‘Shark Boy
and Lava Girl’ were light, poppy fun that I would have no problem
sitting through if I had a son or daughter and was looking to kill a
few hours. Is it the best family fare? Of course not. Could it be a
little less heavy on the special-effects? Sure. But it’s fun, and more
importantly to parents, NOT ANNOYING. ‘Shorts’ runs along those same
lines, light and more than likely forgettable, it’s a decent kids
flick. As someone who apparently wants to make kids movies, Rodriguez
could do worse. I just wish he would devote more time for stuff for us
grown ups.”
PARTING SHOTS:
- Did Apatow fall short with “Funny People?” What do you think?
- Would you join a secret cabal to end bad movies?
- Is it time for Favreau and Vaughn to team-up for a buddy movie?
Powered by  | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Thursday, November 19, 2009
|
I always know we’re up for some seriously good new DVD releases when
I get an e-mail from Videoport Jones that starts with the phrase “BIG
WEEK!” How big? Jim Jarmusch, JJ Abrams, Park Chan-wook and Sacha Baron
Cohen. Bruno! Mr. Spock! Vampires!
The Limits of Control
Videoport Jones: “Videoport has gone big on this
one, the new film by American indie maverick Jim Jarmusch, despite the
fact that it is almost certain to puzzle, alienate, and confound most
people. (A testament to how hip the Videoport renters are, or stubborn
support of our heroes? You decide.) Unsurprisingly, I really liked this
one; Jarmusch (‘Mystery Train,’ ‘Ghost Dog,’ ‘Night on Earth,’ ‘Down by
Law,’ ‘Dead Man,’ ‘Stranger Than Paradise,’ ‘Broken Flowers’) is, to be
certain, an acquired taste, but I have most definitely acquired it for
his deadpan funny, mysteriously moving body of work. Here, Jarmusch
regular, Issach De Bankole (he was the Parisian taxi driver in ‘Night
on Earth’ and Ghost Dog’s only friend, the Haitian ice cream man)
plays, well, who does he play, exactly? Impeccably dressed, he says
very little (perhaps thirty lines of dialogue the entire film), and his
striking face (which you’ll get to know very well indeed) reveals
little more. He is sent on a mission of some kind, which takes him to
Spain, and a decreasingly-luxurious succession of hotel rooms. He sits
at cafes and waits, until a parade of eccentric contacts meets him,
says cryptic things, seemingly unrelated to whatever his task is, and
then he moves on, saying nothing, his eyes all-aware but impassive.
There are hints, tantalizing clues: matchbooks, coded messages on
immediately-swallowed slips of paper, two cappuccinos, in separate
cups, a helicopter, wooden string instruments, paintings, a repeated
code phrase. His contacts (intriguing turns by the likes of John Hurt,
Youki Kudoh, Tilda Swinton, Gael Garcia Bernal, and others) all speak
cryptically; usually they seem to be ruminating on art, film, music,
their noncommittal asides full of literary and cinematic allusion. They
seem to know more than he, but also hint that they, too, are on a
mission they only partly understand. There’s some Beckett in the
journey, a hint of Pinter, perhaps. A subtly building menace that
creeps into the soundtrack as the films goes on. When the ending comes,
it makes a certain amount of sense, if you make sense of it that way.
Sure, it’s, as they say, ‘not for everyone,’ but if you don’t want it,
I’ll take your share. A mystery. A puzzle. I was mesmerized.”
Justin: “It’s a riddle wrapped in an enigma,
wrapped in a tortilla, covered in a hard-chocolate shell. Delicious.
Look, I’m not going to pretend to try and throw any conceived meaning
on this movie because that would not only make me look foolish, but
also do a disservice to Mr. Jarmusch. But how do you really describe
such a lush yet sparse movie? A movie that captivates you because
you’re studying every inch of the screen for action or meaning and gets
you to stick around because every next scene could be THE scene that
brings it all together. It feels a bit like a con if you think about
it, but really, that’s imaginative storytelling and amazingly nuanced
direction. This movie could be about absolutely nothing, but it’s
crafted in a way that all you know is there is a strange sense of
menace crawling up your back and you’ve got to keep watching to get rid
of it. Don’t get me wrong, I am NOT saying this movie is about nothing
and is such a sucker punch to the mind that it’s not worth viewing. No,
I’m just saying know what you are getting into. And if you want a
curious, untraditional movie that will challenge and surprise you, then
this is the one. And needless to say if you’re a Jarmusch fan like my
associate here, then you need no prodding.”
Star Trek
VPJ: “I’m a geek. This is no secret: comics,
baseball, movies, Joss Whedon, you name it. But, while I’m fine with
the whole Star Trek thing, I can’t say my geekdom extends that far. So,
when aging TV wunderkind J.J. Abrams decided to reboot the franchise
from the beginning, I wasn’t, like some geeks, burning up the interwebs
sifting through the minutia of the plot for canonical errata, but was
merely mildly interested, mainly because my main man Simon Pegg was
going to live out his nerdy dream by playing the young Scotty. Upon
seeing it- I gotta say I was pretty impressed. The movie is genuinely
exciting and, what’s most surprising, it manages to avoid the whole
prequel “it’s all in-jokes and safe fan-stroking” by introducing a
whole time travel, alternate universe angle which allows for some
actual peril for the once-sacrosanct characters. The actors all seem to
be having some fun: Chris Pine is a cocky, fun Kirk (and the movie
seems to take great delight in making fun of him), Zachary Quinto’s an
excellent, surprisingly-sexy Spock, Karl Urban nails Bones’ irascible
humor, and the Pegger is a hoot, while John Cho (Sulu), and Anton
Yelchin (Chekov) are cool, too. Eric Bana has some fun as the main
baddie, and, of course, even a semi-Star Trek geek like myself got
goosebumps when a certain original cast member turned up. (So sue me).
And, as for the whole “alternate universe so anything can happen
reboot”, well, it was a fun idea, but (and here the comic geek in me
rears his pimply head), such tinkering shenanigans can alienate even
(especially) the most loyal fans, so we’ll see how long until the
faithful turn on the whole (pardon me for this) enterprise (it’s the
reason I stopped reading the ‘X Men’ after a while). All in all, a
solid, fun action movie.”
JE: “Jonesy, set phasers to ‘OH MY GOD!’ I don’t
know if I’ll be able to contain my raw geekery over this movie, but
I’ll try and make it through the review…THE SHIP WAS SOOOO COOL! Ahem.
This movie could have been a colossal failure simply by virture of
being a reboot, not to mention betting on a largely unknown cast and
playing the ‘young and sexy crew’ card very heavily. Aside from that
you’re 100 percent correct about the power of fanboy rage, though not
entirely deadly it can contribute to any reboot’s demise…WHAT THE HECK
IS SPOCK DOING…sorry. And this is to say nothing of dabbling in time
travel, which, as we’ve discussed recently, is a terribly messy affair
that is typically avoided. And yet, this movie GOES BOLDY…ahem, sorry.
This movie, you know what this movie does, it makes Star Trek fun for
everyone. Sorry I had to say that fellow fanboys, but as someone who
stuck with the franchise through multiple exploding Enterprises, sexy
borgs and Captain Bakula, Star Trek stopped being fun. This movie is
fun, a nod to the faithful…THERE GOES A RED SHIRT…and open to newbies
(such as my lady, who’s rooting interest going into the movie was
underrated John Cho as well as the Fantastic Mr. Pegg). There’s
chemistry between the crew (OH MY GOD IS THERE EVER…again, I
apologize), amazing special effects and a story that not only makes
sense but moves along at a great pace. Abrams played the percentages
well on this one, combining his knack for character plays with a little
geekiness, some whiz-bang-pow-ery and excellent performances by the
whole ensemble (including a great Bruce Greenwood doing a great
‘grizzled vet’ in a pivotal role). Is the movie perfect, well, no. But
again, it’s about the percentages, and Abrams got it right…WARP FACTOR
FUN! God, I am so sorry about that. Let’s move on.”
Bruno
VPJ: “Sacha Baron Cohen likes to make people
uncomfortable. Politicians, small town bigots, celebrities, Eminem, me.
Especially me. Man does he make me squirm, a rictus of anxious
anticipation on my face as I wait for his next assault on my inner
calm. Which is a compliment, of course. Like Andy Kaufman and similar
agents provocateur before him, Cohen has the genius (and the brass
cojones) to devise situations which, more often than not, provoke
reactions in unsuspecting subjects which bring out their, and their
society’s, underlying prejudices, fears, and hang-ups as adroitly as
any sociology textbook. Plus, he’s about a thousand times funnier. As
with Borat (and his other alter ego Ali G), though, Bruno walks the
fine line between insightfully funny and just plain mean and
offputting, which makes the whole experience sort of a queasy affair
for me. When his flamboyant gay fashionista picks the right targets
(he’s largely concerned with America’s slavering desire for fame, and
its equally slavering homophobia this time), ‘Bruno’ is horrifyingly
transcendent (his stunt with a bloodthirsty MMA crowd is a classic),
but sometimes the whole enterprise comes off as pointlessly mean. I
dunno – I’m glad Cohen’s around (the world could due with being kept on
its toes), but he just plain makes my tummy hurt.”
JE: “More than any other comedian who has played
the ‘agent of chaos’ role, Cohen is disturbingly good at playing around
in that icky, uncomfortable, assumption-challenging place. Here’s the
thing, it’s relatively easy to GET ALL UP IN PEOPLE’S FACES, because we
see hacks and so-caled pranksters do it all the time. They’re like the
kids who would repeatedly whack at bee hives during school recess. It
takes big brass ones to get yourself into a character, create a window
to get through to people and then savagely provoke them…and get out of
every scenario alive. Cohen deserves credit for that first and
foremost, but also (as anyone who has suffered through a bad
SNL-skit-turned-movie), drawing a movie out of a sketch comedy idea or
character is not easy. Sure ‘Borat’ and ‘Bruno’ use the same convention
of a character with a camera crew, but instead of the movie looking
like a series of sketches laced together poorly by a few transitions,
you have an actual film from beginning to end. Now, having said all
that, I don’t care for this one. As much as I like Cohen and appreciate
what he does, I had enough with ‘Borat’ and honestly the schtick feels
a little thin. Of course I may just be less willing to deal with the
case of the wiggins Cohen inspires than you Jonesy.”
Thirst
VPJ: “Before reading this review, if you haven’t
seen the Korean movie ‘Oldboy,’ go to Videoport right now and rent it.
I’ll wait… There! Now you want to see everything director Park
Chan-wook has ever done, so why not continue with this, his most recent
film, about a saintly priest who, in attempting to help cure a deadly
virus, volunteers for a medical procedure which, well, kills him,
resurrects him, and (side effect!) turns him into a vampire. Oops. Like
‘Oldboy’ (and the director’s other films like ‘Sympathy for Mr.
Vengeance,’ ‘Lady Vengeance’), ‘Thirst’ combines the standard beats of
the action or horror genre with haunting performances, virtuoso
direction, and grand themes to create incredibly intense, mesmerizing
cinema. As the hero confronts his new existence, finds himself drawn to
a beautiful young woman, and, yeah, drinks a lot o’ blood, his journey
becomes something epic, operatic, and profoundly moving. Destined for
cult status like the director’s other films, ‘Thirst’ is haunting.”
JE: “MORE vampires? Snooze! But I joke, mostly
because vampires are becoming so damn ubiquitous that it’s a joke.
Aren’t vampries supposed to be secretive, mysterious and elusive? Then
how come I SEE THEM EVERYWHERE?! Ok, had to get that out of my system,
and with good reason because here we have an interesting take onthe
vampire movie. Not only does Park Chan-wook provide a novel and almost
(but not really) explanation for a vampire, but he takes time to give
us the wrenching, tragic and frankly un-pretty bits of suddenly
discovering you’re a vampire. It’s not all sexy black clothes, flights
and fights kids. In my opinion, and it’s one I think you’ll share, the
best vampire flicks (or shows with vamps *cough-cough* BUFFY
*cough-cough*) are the ones that carefully contrast the idea of being
immortal yet-removed from society, and oh, the basic fact that you’re
like a big ol’ parasite with fans and good clothes. And yes kids, do as
Dr. Jones says and rent the rest of Park Chan-wook’s work. We’ll wait.”
The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard
VPJ: “Check out this comedy all-star lineup: Jeremy
Piven, Ed Helms, Craig Robinson, Kristen Schaal, Ving Rhames, Tony
Hale, Rob Riggle, David Keochner, and even a cameo from Will Ferrell.
Dang – how could this possibly go wrong? Well… The story of a band of
mercenary used car salesmen who sweep in to save dying lots by any
means necessary, “The Goods” is going for a rambunctious, free-for-all
workplace comedy and it is certainly trying very hard. Too hard. The
word ‘desperation’ comes to mind. There’s a special kind of sadness
that creeps into a film like this when you can see so many talented,
funny people running around with no one at the reins; you can actually
see the performers withering up there on the screen. It’s a bummer,
too, because of the collective talent involved and because I’m still
sort of happy that Jeremy Piven has become a household name. Formerly
just another F.O.C. (‘friend of Cusack’), Piven has, thanks to some
adept scene-stealery and, of course, ‘Entourage,’ become a bankable
star in his own right and, while I’m happy for him, he’s always had to
be cautious that his fratboy cockiness didn’t curdle into offputting
obnoxiousness. He was not cautious enough here.”
JE: “Sounds like another ‘Semi-Pro’ if you ask me.
And we all know how well THAT turned out. Here’s the thing about ‘The
Goods,’ and I’m not being an apologist (because I have not watched
it.), but it’s a first-time effort from director Neal Brennan, a dude
most of us may be familiar with because of his work on ‘Chappelle’s
Show’ and yes, ‘Half Baked.’ OK, sure, you’re saying, but what about
the writing Justin? Well, there I got nothing for you. The writers are
also two first-timers, and maybe a frenetic ensemble flick was not in
their best interest. Could it be that the assembled talent may have
eclipsed the actual script here? If you’re a writer or director you
KNOW the likes of Piven, Hale, Rhames, Keochner (can this guy get an
Oscar for best second-bananna of all time?) are going to deliver, so
could that be a crutch? I may not be an expert on screenwriting, but if
you hand an actor a half-hearted script even the best thespian can’t
pull it to success. This all reminds me Jonesy, we need to get to work
on that rambunctious workplace comedy involving a video store employee
and a reporter. Comedy GOLD!”
Speed Round! Since it was such a tremendous week on new releases Videoport Jones offers some quick takes:
Is Anybody There? Michael Caine warms your heart (perhaps gainst your will) as a cranky oldster befriending the requisite little tyke; Ballast,
Acclaimed indie drama about a poor single mom trying to protect her
family against the violence around her, and a secret from her past; Humpday,
Indie comedy stars “The Blair With Project’s” Josh Leonard and
mumblecore maven Mark Duplass as two straight friends who double-dog
dare each other into making a gay porno); How to Be, Prettyboy “Twilight” hunklet Robert Pattinson stars as a pretentious would-be artist who tries to be less of a smelly hippie; Enlighten Up, A yoga skeptic puts on his unitard to test out the stretchy discipline’s merits in this documentary; My One and Only,
Coming of age dramedy starring Rene Zellweger and based on the
childhood of Hollywood tanning legend George Hamilton, of all people; Margaret Cho: Beautiful, New standup from the saucy/filthy comedienne; Only the Brave,
A fact-based WWII film about the all-Japanese American battalion who
single-handedly shamed our entire country for putting them and all
their relatives in American prison camps; Spread,
Ashton Kutcher is a money-grubbing Hollywood prettyboy who makes his
living by seducing older women; he also made this movie- zing!
Parting Shots:
- Are you a Jim Jarmusch fan? What’s your favorite flick?
- Did the Star Trek reboot work?
- Does Sacha Baron Cohen schtick still work?
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
|
Volume CCXXII- I Am a Gamera
For the Week of 11/17/09
Videoport gives you a free movie every day. Any objections? No- we didn’t think so…
Middle Aisle Monday. (Get one free rental from the
Sci-Fi, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Mystery/Thriller, Animation or
Staff Picks sections with your paid rental.)
>>> Elsa S. Customer suggests that, this
weekend, why not have a triple feature of thematically related films to
compare and contrast? For sci-fi alienation, try Alien, The Thing (the John Carpenter version), and the 1978 production of The Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
All three are chilling portraits of alienation — literal or figurative
— and the horror of encroaching forces beyond our understanding. All
three can be studied as deep metaphorical narratives of isolation,
crumbling faith in institutional and social systems, and a pervasive
fear of the treachery of others, but all three can be simply enjoyed as
rip-roaring tales, too. Have a fun, frightened weekend — and keep
looking over your shoulder.
Tough and Triassic Tuesday. (Get one free rental from the Action or Classics sections with your paid rental.)
>>> Dennis suggests you join in the fun and send us your movie reviews (essays, best of/worst of lists, etc) to us here at the VideoReport!
Yup, Videoport’s weekly newsletter is a place for all of us in the
Videoport community to talk about movies, share ideas, and basically
just run off at the mouth, so don’t be shy! Send your submissions to us
at denmn@hotmail.com, our Myspace page www.myspace.com/videoportjones, or just drop them off here in the store. (Obviously, Classics or Action reviews would have been most welcome this week…)
Wacky and Worldly Wednesday. (Get one free rental from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with your paid rental.)
>>> Elsa S. Customer suggests sticking
with the real deal in the Foreign section. Sigh. It drives me crazy
that Hollywood feels the need to remake excellent films just to have an
English-language version. To be honest, it’s not the remaking itself
that makes me so nuts, but that all too often, the geniuses down at the
Hollywood studios decide they have to tinker with the story that was so
enticing to begin with… and we, the audience, end up with a
watered-down, lackluster reworking of something that was once great.
Here’s a tiny list of foreign-language films that outshine their
English-language remakes: Insomnia, Spoorloos, Shall We Dansu, Solyaris (though Soderbergh’s remake is mighty good, too, it’s not up to the original), Abres Los Ojos, Wings of Desire, Mostly Martha.
Thrifty Thursday. (Get one free movie from any section with your paid rental.)
>>> Dennis suggests engaging in an Al
Pacino orgy! Videoport, in its never-ending quest to sustained
awesomeness, has just acquired the new boxed set of Pacino
rarities…you’re welcome. First, and most excitingly, up, there’s the
legendarily lost The Local Stigmatic! Why the exclamation point, you ask, well, here’s what IMDb.com has to say about it: “Al
Pacino donated a copy to the Museum of Modern Art with the stipulation
that it can only be shown with his permission. A small number of
screenings have taken place since 1990.” And now, thanks to us, any time you want. It’s the story of two nihilistic English sociopaths (Pacino and ‘CSI’’s
Paul Guilfoyle) who decide to beat the crap out of an actor for no
apparent reason, and, yes, apparently, Pacino does essay a Cockney
accent, which should, if nothing else does, make this one worth
watching. Next, check out Chinese Coffee, where
Pacino and the late, great Jerry Orbach play a couple of struggling
writers arguing about, well, everything, really, for 99 minutes.
Another excuse for Al and a talented costar to act the hell out of an
obscure theater piece? Yes, please! After that, why not check out Babbleonia,
a documentary where Big Al dishes on his long career, acting, and other
stuff Pacinophiles will want to check out. Then, to top things off,
take home the long-awaited DVD release of Looking for Richard, Pacino’s heartfelt and insightful documentary about his quest to play Shakespeare’s Richard III,
as well as to understand what Shakespeare means to him. All in all,
it’s a cinematic wet dream for the fans of that actor…what’s his name
again? It’s on the tip of my tongue…
Free Kids Friday. (Get one free rental from the Children’s or Family sections, no other rental necessary).
>>> Adam S. Customer, 4, suggests Cars.
He told his auntie, “You should watch it! Watch it! Watch it!” before
patting her hand and adding in a gentle tone, “It gets a leeetle sad,
but then it gets better… Watch it! Do you want to watch it right now?”
Having a Wild Weekend. (Rent two, get your third movie for free from any section on Saturday and Sunday.)
>>>For Saturday, Dennis suggests checking
out Videoport’s new acquisitions from the smoky, sultry, doom-laden
world of film noir! We love to buy cool, old stuff in bulk, so this
recent boxed set (“Colombia Picture Film Noir Classics”) of
heretofore-mostly-unreleased films noir hit the market, we scooped it
up, created some unfortunately-nondescript-looking cover art (boxed
sets are a real pain that way), and brought them to you, you lucky
bastards. FIrst up, there’s The Big Heat (which we
already had, but, hey), a true genre classic, with Glen Ford as a
desperate cop out for revenge; great stuff, with Ford, Lee Marvin, and
the kittykat Gloria Grahame doing great stuff with guns, bombs, and hot
pots of coffee. Five Against the House has the
titular five college chums deciding to plot the perfect crime, a
complicated heist against the titular casino. Things may not go
according to plan, especially when femme fatale Kim Novak is around. The Lineup
features a young (not that he ever looked young) Eli Wallach as one of
a pair of hitmen forced to kidnap a mother and daughter so they can
explain to a big mob boss that they accidentally destroyed the fortune
in heroin the hitmen were supposed to be delivering. I’m sure he’ll be
understanding. From director Don Siegel (Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Dirty Harry). The Sniper
is a 1952 thriller about a depressed, woman-hating jerk who,
unsurprisingly, can’t get a girlfriend. Perhaps more surprisingly, he
gets a high-powered rifle and starts shooting seemingly-random people
as the cops try to chase him down. And Murder by Contract
features “Ben Casey” star Vince Edwards as another hitman, this time
running into trouble when he finds himself having those pesky qualms
when it comes to his next target, a pretty lady.
>>>For Sunday, Dennis suggests Martin
(in Horror). Finally coming to us on DVD, this 1977 sort-of vampire
film is a forgotten gem from zombie-meister George A. Romero. The title
character is a pale, sensitive young man who is lonely, orphaned, and
tormented by his religious nutball old relative, constantly tells the
boy he’s an evil, bloodthirsty vampire. Well, to be fair, Martin does
attack people (mostly women) and drink their blood (after drugging and
raping them)- but he doesn’t have fangs, so… The film nimbly dodges the
question of what, exactly, Martin is, and concerns itself more with a
study of who he is, and why he does what he does. Aided immeasurably by
a sensitive, troublingly-sympathetic lead performance by a young guy
named John Amplas (he’d show up in small roles in other Romero movies),
Martin is a weird, disturbing, and mostly pretty fascinating
character study, with a little horror and sleaze thrown in for kicks.
Romero here, reveals a particular facility with staging (see especially
the virtuoso sequence where Martin plays cat-and-mouse with a couple in
their home), and coaxes some decent performances (always a weak spot in
most of his films). Martin (along with his weird ‘knights on motorcycles’ drama Knightriders) is one of those oddball non-zombie George Romero movies that have achieved cult status and are well worth a rental.
New Releases this week at Videoport: It’s a huge week for new stuff, gang! Hang on tight… The Limits of Control (it’s
the new film from indie god director Jim Jarmusch! An enigmatic mystery
starring all his favorite actors, and destined for a cult following,
which is why Videoport has twelve copies! It’s great, by the way), Star Trek
(the big-budget, youth-injected reboot of the venerable (creaky) sci fi
franchise is actually really good, for nerds and non-nerds alike; but
mostly nerds…), Thirst (you liked Oldboy,
right? Well here’s the director’s new film, a sexy Korean vampire film
that all the cool kids are gonna be watching right now), Humpday
(2 straight slacker friends double-dog-dare each other to enter an
internet contest by making a gay porno with each other; costarring Josh
from The Blair Witch Project and mumblecore pioneer Mark Duplass), Is Anybody There?
(guaranteed heart-warming stuff starring Michael Caine as a cranky old
coot in a retirement home who begrudgingly befriends the requisite
little kid), It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: It’s a Very Sunny Christmas (the worst people in the world make the funniest Christmas special of the year), Margaret Cho: Beautiful (she’s saucy [filthy, really] and funny…what more do you want?), Enlighten Up (a yoga devotee/filmmaker decides to film her skeptical friend as she immerses him in the wild world of, well, yoga), ‘Andy Barker, PI’- the complete series
(yet another funny, inventive, and immediately-cancelled sitcom
starring the ever-welcome Andy Richter; this time, he’s a mild-mannered
accountant who starts taking on the clients of the detective who
previously inhabited his new office; it also stars Tony Hale, veteran
of the similarly-unfairly-cancelled ‘Arrested Development’), Only the Brave
(fact-based WWII film about a battalion made up of Japanese American
soldiers who, despite having their entire families sent to
concentration camps by the American government, earned about a million
medals and single-handedly shamed the entire nation), Spread
(Ashton Kutcher is a money-grubbing Hollywood prettyboy who makes his
living by seducing older women; he also made this movie- zing!), Franklyn
(the Incredibly Strange Section welcomes this bizarre thriller which
includes: parallel universes, religious dictatorships, masked
vigilantes, and all manner of weirdness), How to Be
(Twilight heartthrob/prettyboy Robert Pattinson watches this indie
drama about a drippy would-be poet/musician who seeks out the guidance
of a self-help guru in order to stop being an insufferable hippy
poseur; does he succeed? We can only hope and pray…), My Sister’s Keeper
(tearjerkery drama about a young girl who seeks emancipation from her
parents, just because they only bred her to be a blood bank for her
[one presumes] better-loved ill sister; starring the long-missing
Cameron Diaz), The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (certified
funny fellas Jeremy Piven, David Koechner, Ving Rhames, Ed Helms, Tony
Hale, Ken Jeong, and Rob Riggle star in this ensemble comedy about the
desperate times at a used car lot; take it on a double feature
Wednesday with the very funny 80s forebear Used Cars, starring Kurt Russell), My One and Only
(in the week’s oddest biographical film of the week, this coming of age
dramedy starring Rene Zellweger is based on the early life of leathery
Hollywood laughingstock George Hamilton), Bruno (if a
flamboyantly effeminate Austrian fashionista cornered you in the past
year and started making you very uncomfortable by exposing your, and
your country’s innate prejudices, you’re probably in this movie), Ballast (acclaimed drama about an embattled single mom trying to keep her family safe in the face on violence and her own past), ‘Primeval’- season 2
(Videoport’s Sci Fi/Fantasy section adds the second season of this
series about a team of Brits trying to find out why the hell dinosaurs
have started popping up all over the place).
New Arrivals this week at Videoport: The Stepfather
(the original horror thriller about a serial-marrying psycho who kills
his families when they fail to live up to his exacting standards,
starring ‘Lost’’s Terry O’Quinn; watch it before the crappy remake hits DVD any second now), ‘Tom & Jerry’s Greatest Chases’
(the greatest hits of the popular yet thoroughly-unfunny classic
cartoon characters), The Agony and the Ecstasy (DVD release of the
Charlton Heston-as-Michelangelo biopic), Martin (see the Sunday review on page 1 for the lowdown on this little-seen George Romero vampire flick!), Babbleonia, The Local Stigmatic, Chinese Coffee, and Looking for Richard (see the Thursday review of all these recently-acquired Al Pacino rarities), Murder by Contract, 5 Against the House, The Lineup, The Sniper, and The Big Heat
(see page 1’s Saturday review for the skinny on these new film noir
classics joining the Mystery/Thriller section at Videoport!), ‘Race to Dakar’
(Charley Boorman ditches his far more photogenic pal Ewan McGregor and
rides his well-worn motorcycle in the titular grueling race), Torso
(thank Videoport’s loveable Andy for the addition of this 70s Italian
sleaze/horror fest; Videoport’s nearly-as-loveable JackieO watched it
and suggests that the title should be changed to “The Upper Part of the Female Torso- The Booby Part”), Pray the Devil Back to Hell (documentary
about the brave women who successfully fought to have their home
country of Liberia’s government not be such a haven for corrupt jerks),
Homeboy (sort of a proto-Wrestler, this 1988 movie saw Mickey Rourke playing an aging [though still sort of pretty] boxer fighting for one last shot).
YOU WILL GO TO THIS!
Former Videoporter/local filmmaker/cool guy Allen Baldwin’s newest film Up Up Down Down will have its first test screening at the Nickelodeon theater (right around the corner) on Thursday, December 3rd at 7pm and 915pm! Come and see the latest film from Allen’s Strongpaw Productions (you can see his great first film Twelve Steps Outside in Videoport’s Feature Drama section)! C’mon!
Videoport regretfully informs you...
That the holiday shopping season is upon us. I know. Well, we here
at Videoport want you to know that we feel your pain- here are some
easy, affordable gifty solutions for your holiday blues
1. Videoport Gift Certificates! Available in $10, $20, and
$30 increments, these make the perfect gift for the movie lover on your
list you have no earthly idea what to get.
2. Movies! Duh! Videoport’s got a pile o’ DVDs (both new
and previously-viewed), all at low prices. Which is nice and all, but
here’s the real good news- for every movie you buy from us (instead of
some soulless mega-chain), Videoport gives you, that’s you personally,
a free rental for yourself. Yeah! Who says you shouldn’t get something
out of this whole greed-filled holiday shopping experience? You deserve
it, don’t you? Plus, Videoport can special order any movie, TV series,
or boxed set currently in print, and we do it for free (none of that
’shipping and handling’ nonsense).
3. We now have really, really big boxes of jelly beans. People like those.
Free Money at Videoport! $20 buys you $25 worth of rental credit, while $30 buys you $40! Makes sense.
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Thursday, November 12, 2009
|
Volume CCXXI- How I Met Your Mothra
For the Week of 11/10/09
Videoport thinks that fully 47% of you are wonderful.
But you all may have a free movie every day. Because we at Videoport
believe that everyone should have the same rights. To a free movie. And
other things…
Middle Aisle Monday. (Get one free rental from the
Sci-Fi, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Mystery/Thriller, Animation or
Staff Picks sections with your paid rental.)
>>> Dennis suggests Graveyard Shift
(in Horror). The lovely Mrs. Elsa S. Customer and I have been catching
up on our crappy horror movies lately. Why do I mention that in
connection with this Maine-set 80s Stephen King adaptation? Umm… This
one has sort of a legendary reputation of wretchedness which had kept
me away for a long time, which is weird, because I actively seek out
bad horror movies in my free time. Well, we decided it was about time
and there were some admittedly minor points of interest: the
ever-welcome Brad Dourif* is on hand, hamming it up with customary glee
as a psychotic Vietnam vet/ exterminator, it was actually (unlike most
King adaptations) filmed in Maine (Bangor, Brewer, and Harmony, to be
exact), and, well, that was it, really. The story of an ancient,
run-down textile mill that is basically OSHA’s worst nightmare,
dilapidated and swarming with rats! Rats!! They’re actually pretty
cute, but there’s a big, rubbery, blubbery thing down in the bowels of
the place that keeps killing off sweaty workers (which no one seems to
notice, even though there are only about twenty people in the town).
There’s an evil boss (Stephen Macht’s Maine accent is easily the most
fascinating thing in the film), some completely-unmotivated character
turns, and, um…yeah, it sucks, although perhaps slightly less (maybe
12%) than advertised, but still… yeah, it’s terrible.
*Editor’s note: Brad Dourif’s career is really strange. He started
off like gangbusters, with an Oscar nomination for playing Billy
Bibbitt in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and then, after exactly one high-profile lead (in John Huston’s fascinating, underrated Wise Blood-
available in Videoport’s Criterion section), he has worked tirelessly,
and almost exclusively, playing over-the-top weirdos, bug-eyed psychos,
and, well, cuckoos in low-budget genre films. And, unlike some actors
who fall to that sort of role because that’s the true level of their
talent, Dourif is always great. Look at (mostly awful) movies like Exorcist III, Dune, Critters 4, Color of Night, Alien Resurrection, even the Chuckie movies, (and that episode of the ‘X Files’ he
was in)- he never phones it in, is always in there, giving it all he’s
got. And more often than not, he’s the best thing in the movie. (Even
when he took a role in the biggest hit trilogy of all time, The Lord of the Rings,
he was playing a squirmy weirdo… and knocking it out of the park.) His
acclaim playing a slightly less-repellant guy than usual on ‘Deadwood’ hasn’t stopped him from accepting work in upcoming films titled things like Death and Cremation and Junkyard Dog. Great actor, deliberately odd career.
Tough and Triassic Tuesday. (Get one free rental from the Action or Classics sections with your paid rental.)
>>> Elsa S. Customer suggests The Terminator
(in Action). The now-legendary 1984 sci-fi action flick that cemented
the reputation of director-writer James Cameron and transformed a hunk
of affectless Austrian meat into a bankable movie star, The Terminator
is built on compellingly simple narrative tension. For heroine Sarah
Connor (Linda Hamilton), it’s a nightmare scenario: you’re going about
your everyday business, just trying to make ends meet and maybe go on a
date, and suddenly you are pursued by a murderous entity (Arnold
Schwarzenegger) whose only reason for existence is to destroy you. The
film’s special effects reflect the low budget, and in this case, they
just plain work. Let’s face it, even state-of-the-art effects from
1984 would look dated to our eyes; where Cameron relies upon low-tech,
on-set effects, the film runs smoothly without jerking the viewer out
of the film. (Admittedly, there are also attempts at high-tech effects
here, and those look just as silly to a modern eye as you’d expect.)
Much of the film’s dialogue, grown stale with repetition over the
years, is refreshingly in context. Man, who knew “I’ll be back” could
be so funny?
Wacky and Worldly Wednesday. (Get one free rental from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with your paid rental.)
>>> Elsa S. Customer suggests State and Main
(in Comedy). In a break from his usual heist-and-hostility routine,
David Mamet brings us a movie about movies: temperamental talents,
deeply hidden secrets, and the panic of production delays. The
premise: the entire cast and crew of Hollywood production The Old Mill
has been booted out of the small New England town where they’re
filming. As the frantic director tries to hustle another town’s mayor
into signing on as their new location, the clock is ticking away. And
time is money, people. Writer-director David Mamet’s dialogue is
pointed, clever, witty, and utterly despicable. With its quick, smart
humor and characters running the range from “wretchedly angst-ridden”
to “utterly vile,” State and Main feels like an Aaron Sorkin
show set in Hell. William H. Macy plays director Walt Price with
whiplash virtuosity, slipping effortlessly between unctuous gladhanding
and vicious rants. Philip Seymour Hoffman turns in another masterful
performance as the first-time screenwriter improvising like mad despite
his almost total lack of confidence; Hoffman takes the sad-sack role
and transcends it. Alec Baldwin delivers here one of his nastiest
comic roles as the big-name movie star with a loathsome yen for
underaged girls. And here’s a sneaky little in-joke: the small-town
mayor (perfectly played by Charles Durning) is named George Bailey — a
poke at Frank Capra’s It’s a Wonderful Life. As Mamet no
doubt knows, Capra’s view of small-town life was far from the
whitewashed sentimentality we celebrate in the film today. It’s a Wonderful Life gave us a glimpse of village life’s underbelly, and State and Main
would like to pick up when Capra left off, plunging farther into the
ghastly depths than Capra ever dreamed. With its vicious wit, its
depravities, and its rapid-fire plot complications, State and Main is a screwball comedy of the darkest shade.
Thrifty Thursday. (Get one free movie from any section with your paid rental.)
>>> Dennis suggests Patton Oswalt: My Weakness Is Strong
(in Comedy). Reviewing a standup comedy special is usually pretty dull.
I mean, apart from ‘boy this sure was funny’, there’s not a lot of
places to go usually. So here are some random thought’s about this new
one from hipster darling/hobbit Oswalt. He is very adept at mining
laughs from seemingly absurd analogies which, upon immediate
reflection, make a great deal of sense (comparing George W. Bush to
sodomy demons, for example; you’ll just have to see it). He is
remarkable at donning very specific comic personae; not that he’s an
impressionist, he’s just very in control of his instrument/voice, and
the comic effects he wants to elicit; (see his impression of himself as
a fat[ter] guy and that of a startlingly well-drawn Southern
bartender). He’s got some nice, Carlin-esque takes on ’serious’ issues
(specifically religion in this one) where, like Carlin, he spins a very
funny argument (in this case how religion came into being) which is
hilarious, insightful, and makes enormous sense all at the same time.
Oh, and this is really, really funny.
Free Kids Friday. (Get one free rental from the Children’s or Family sections, no other rental necessary).
>>> Andy suggests Escape From the Planet of the Apes. If you’re looking for the excellent sci fi classic Planet of the Apes, you’ll find it in the Sci Fi/Fantasy section. You also find the pretty good first sequel Beneath the Planet of the Apes
and Tim Burton’s dull remake in Sci Fi/ Fantasy. But when you’re done
with those, I suggest you turn your attention to the Family section and
check out the second, third, and fourth sequels for some fun, G-rated,
if pretty violent, Apes action. The third film, Escape From the Planet of the Apes,
is by far the best of these. The plot involves the apes from the
first film traveling back in time to our ‘present day’ (1976) or so and
trying not to mess up the future while sticking up for ape rights or
something. It’s all in fun, in the same vein as Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.
You can tell the producers were trying to save money by shooting on
location instead of building futuristic sets. Budget problems don’t
prevent Escape from being an entertaining sci fi adventure, but with the fourth (Conquest of the Planet of the Apes*) and fifth (Battle for the Planet of the Apes) films in the series, there is a noticeable step down in production value. (Still…free rental folks.)
*Editor’s note: Andy’s very right about the later films, but Conquest,
which shows how the apes first rebelled against their human masters
with zombie invasion-like single-mindedness really creeped me out as a
kid. Creep out your kid today!
Having a Wild Weekend. (Rent two, get your third movie for free from any section on Saturday and Sunday.)
>>>For Saturday, Dennis suggests sending in your movie or TV reviews (or movie essays, best-of lists, etc) to us at the VideoReport! (So we can fill this review space with actual, you know, reviews and stuff.) Just drop them off at the store, send them to denmn@hotmail.com, or our Myspace page www.myspace.com/videoportjones or our Facebook page “Videoport Jones”! And, aw heck, while you’re on the intra-nets, why not stop in at our movie blog www.videoportjones.wordpress.com!
>>>For Sunday, Elsa S. Customer suggests Delicatessen (in Foreign Language). Vividly textured, richly ambiguous, and darkly comic, Delicatessen
opens in a ramshackle tenement hazily located in a French town in some
unspecified dystopian future. Food is scarce, yet the butcher shop
occupying the building’s first floor never seems to feel the pinch too
badly. I think you see where this is going… but the new tenant does
not. His name is Louison (played by oddly charming rubber-faced actor
Dominique Pinon), he’s a former circus performer, and he delights the
neighborhood children with his clowning antics, which are cartoonishly
impressive. Indeed, Delicatessen has a cartoonish quality
that meshes weirdly but successfully with its grubby, dark setting and
its gruesome premise. This is the first feature film of co-directors
Marc Caro and Jean-Pierre Jeunet, who also co-directed the great City of Lost Children. Jeunet is now perhaps best known as the director of Amélie, and it’s easy to see Amélie as the indirect descendant of the grotesqueries of Delicatessen.
Both films immerse themselves in a whimsically embroidered narrative
built around the laborious quirks of its characters, and does so with
an aplomb that magically weaves a potentially overwrought, incoherent
mess into a beautifully balanced composition of humor, compassion,
sorrow, and wonder.
New Releases this week at Videoport: UP (it’s
the new Pixar animated film, about an old man who floats his home with
a mess o’ balloons; if you watch it, it will thrill you, move you, and
make you happy- so you should watch it), The Ugly Truth
(Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl are a mismatched couple who may, or
may not, overcome their differences and fall in love; I’m on pins and
needles myself), The Merry Gentleman (Michael Keaton directs himself and No Country for Old Men’s
Kelly Macdonald in this tale of a troubled young woman who falls in
love with a troubled hit man, who may, by definition, be more troubled
than she), Ink (dark, upsetting fairy tale film about
the war between good and evil that takes place when we’re asleep;
compared favorably to Dark City by more than one reviewer…), The Accidental Husband
(a disgruntled firefighter, angry at the advice guru whom he believes
caused his girlfriend to leave him, somehow (the details are a little
unclear) convinces said guru that they were secretly married, even
though she’s all engaged and stuff; convoluted comedy comes to us from
director Griffin Dunne and stars Uma Thurman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and
Colin Firth), Lake Tahoe (from the
renting-like-hotcake Film Movement series comes this indie dramedy
about a hapless teenager who turns to help from a wide variety of
eccentric characters when he accidentally wrecks the family car), Hurt
(creepy horror thriller about a single mom who moves into the salvage
yard home owned by a crazy uncle, finds a seemingly-adorable orphaned
child, and then…well, I’m not tellin’),
New Arrivals this week at Videoport: Pageant (fifty gay men battle for the right to be crowned Miss Gay America in this documentary), Bela Fleck: Throw Down Your Heart (documentary follows the titular musician as he makes a tour of Africa), The Thing (From Another World)
(the Howard Hawks original alien from space classic finally gets a DVD
release; trivia time: although Hawks’ longtime editor Christian Nyby is
credited as the film’s director, it’s pretty widely accepted that Hawks
himself actually directed the film but allowed pal Nyby to take the
credit), Eddie Izzard: Live from Wembley (British
comic [and now sought-after character actor] Izzard is as quick on his
feet and free-from as Robin Williams, only Izzard is still funny and
doesn’t make you want to just slap him as hard as you can so he’ll
finally shut up), Where God Left His Shoes (John
Leguizamo tries to tone down his undeniable innate creepiness in this
heartwarming story of a homeless dad trying to get a job on Christmas
Eve so his family will qualify for an apartment), The Achievers: The Story of Lebowski Fans (documentary reveals the story behind the birth of Lebowski-Fest, a growing gang of guys turning the Cohen Brothers’ The Big Lebowski into a cult film by dressing up as The Dude and drinking White Russians), The Chaser
(sleazy-looking Korean thriller about a dirty cop-turned-pimp who
discovers that his hookers are being killed off by a serial killer), The Bunker (Anthony Hopkins is Hitler! In this movie, of course…), My First DVD
(new to Videoport’s kids section comes this program designed to
introduce your little angel to the wonderful world of DVDs; lesson one:
DON’T TOUCH THE SHINY SIDE OF A DVD EVER!!!!!; lesson two: DON’T LET A
CHILD TOUCH A DVD, ESPECIALLY THE SHINY SIDE!!!! IT’S CALLED
PARENTING!!!!!).
YOU WILL GO TO THIS!
Former Videoporter/local filmmaker/cool guy Allen Baldwin’s newest film Up Up Down Down will have its first test screening at the Nickelodeon theater (right around the corner) on Thursday, December 3rd at 7pm and 915pm! Come and see the latest film from Allen’s Strongpaw Productions (you can see his great first film Twelve Steps Outside in Videoport’s Feature Drama section)! C’mon!
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Thursday, November 12, 2009
|
Oh joyous day! We've been counting down
the weeks for a while now and Videoport Jones and I finally get to talk
Pixar! The animation juggernaut has produced another winner, but sadly
(and expectedly) Katherine Heigel has not. All that and some "The Big
Lebowski" talk in this week's new DVD releases!
UP
Videoport Jones: "Part of me wants to just write
'It's the new Pixar movie. Rent it. Duh' and let it go at that. Sure,
that might be the lazy part of me, and there's no way you'd go for it
Justin, but still... 'A Bug's Life,' 'Toy Story' 1 & 2, 'Cars,'
'Finding Nemo,' 'The Incredibles,' 'Monsters, Inc,' 'Ratatouille,'
'Wall-E.' For one company to create nothing but 'the best children's
movie of the year' every year it puts one out, set the new standard for
kids' entertainment, and absolutely bury their lumbering, wheezing
parent company (cough...Disney), their record is just unprecedented.
And now it continues. 'UP,' the story of an old man who decides to
float his house to South America with a bunch of balloons, is, in a lot
of ways, Pixar's riskiest venture yet. A crotchety old (albeit
adorably-rendered) person as the protagonist, a long (but
stunningly-economical, and heartbreaking) wordless montage right at the
beginning of the movie to set up the story, some genuine danger and
tension (memo to parents: conflict, and even fear, are necessary in
art, and nothing to protect your little angels from, at least in this
case), 'UP' is a funny, exciting, and challenging adventure movie that
just happens to be for kids. In some ways, it reminds me of Terry
Gilliam's 'Crimson Personal Assurance' short film from Monty Python's
'Meaning of Life,' where the downtrodden oldsters at an antiquated firm
rebel against their young corporate masters and transform their
building into a pirate ship; like Gilliam's film (and most of Gilliam's
films, really) 'UP' centers on a premise of willful absurdity. But,
unlike most Gilliam films, it doesn't fall apart in its second half
(sorry, Terry, but it's true), instead launching itself into the sky
with the dazzling visuals, nuanced voice acting (Ed Asner, ladies and
gentlemen), thrilling action scenes, and the minutely-observed behavior
that have been the Pixar trademark from the beginning. It's not my
favorite of their movies (that'd be 'The Incredibles'), and, yeah,
maybe the ending is a little rushed and the antagonist (Christopher
Plummer, having fun) might be a little under-motivated, but those are
the most minor of quibbles. Plus, there's a funny dog - everybody loves
a funny dog! As the lovely Ms. Videoport Jones said to me, 'When I
started watching it, I was sad that I wasn't watching it with a child;
then, as the movie went on, I realized It had returned me to my
childhood.' Sure, she's a cheeseball, but she's my cheeseball, and
she's absolutely right. One of the best movies of the year."
Justin: "There is so much right with this movie and
so much right about the way Pixar does its job that I struggle to know
where to start. We are indeed gigantic, unapologetic fanboys for Pixar,
but it's like the saying goes 'it ain't braggin' if you're the best.'
And no one can possibly challenge Pixar for that title belt right now
(most certainly not their parent company). I was caught off-guard by
the raw emotionality of 'Wall•E,' with its sort of disparate, desolate
tale of humanity and this cute, awesome little robot at the center of
it all. 'UP' was another unexpected emotional sucker punch of a story.
The plot seems like the perfect story for a family movie, involving
talking animals, fantastic exotic places, action and humor. And while
it has all those things it has a story that is so heartfelt and moving
that it surprises you and makes the whole feature that much more
captivating. As we were talking about the recently, Pixar has enough
talent and technical skill that they could easily mimic reality in
their stories, but then you'd end up with 'The Polar Express.' Instead
they create a sort of 'hyper-reality' where the characters and settings
occupy this rich universe that is cartoony but ultimately incredibly
human. Looking at Ed Asner's character you'd think he was a Happy Meal
toy, but he's this fully-realized person that seems as genuine as the
person next to you. This is helped in no small way by the voice talents
of Mr. Asner. Overall just a wonderful, winning film that families of
all types (that means those with kids and those of us without) can
enjoy. I'll go a step further than Jonesy: Buy it."
The Ugly Truth
VPJ: "Gerard Butler plays a macho, chauvinistic TV
personality whose popular on-air advice is challenged by his headstrong
feminist producer Katherine Heigl, who sets out to prove him wrong by
following his guy-type advice to, um, prove him wrong, I guess? They
may or may not fall in love in the end (I don't want to spoil
anything), perhaps when each of them learns the value of moderation in
their formerly-hidebound views on the battle of the sexes. Sigh. This,
if any of you readers is over sixteen, was the exact plot of
approximately seven hundred rock Hudson/Doris Day movies, and was
pretty successfully parodied/deconstructed in 'Down With Love,' about
six years ago. And yet here it is again, as if the makers and its
lukewarm fans had never seen a movie before. In lieu of further beating
on something so slight I'd actually feel a little guilty for doing so
(not really), I'd like to ask a few questions about its stars. Does
anyone else have trouble remembering what Gerard Butler looks like? I
mean, he's a pleasant enough fella, and the man can wear a leather
jerkin, but his actual physical appearance escapes me when I try to
think about him - he just will not stick in my mind. (Other people who
do this: Mark Hammill, Paul Walker, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, pretty
much anyone named Jessica. It's weird). And Heigl - man is there a less
likable female lead in movies right now? (I mean, Joan Crawford's
dead.) Whom hasn't she thrown under the bus? She was the weak link in
her biggest hit, the very funny 'Knocked Up,' and then accused Judd
Apatow et al of being sexist (only to choose as her next project a
movie - '27 Dresses'- where she's a pretty, pretty girl who's all sad
because she can't find a man). The only reason anyone knew who she was
in the first place was due to 'Grey's Anatomy,' whose writers she
publicly trashed in the press in order to try and get out of her TV
contract (a tactic she employed years earlier on 'Roswell'). Plus,
she's not very good. Oh, and my colleague Regan assures me that there's
a scene in the surprisingly-smutty 'The Ugly Truth' where she is
brought to orgasm by a nine year old boy. Despite that fact, Regan also
assures me that the movie is really weak."
JE: "Presenting for the People vs. Katherine Heigl,
Mr. Videoport Jones. You could give Sam Waterston a run for his money
my friend. Still, half of your argument has one weak link: Hollywood
will never stop producing crappy 'will they/won't they' romantic
comedy. Producers have an unhealthy lust for these type of movies,
which wouldn't be a bad thing if there was any thought put into them.
Think of what made those Rock Hudson/Doris Day movies (or, Spencer
Tracy/Katharine Hepburn, Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, etc) good was
likable (and talented) stars, a smart-but-light plot, some comedy and
CHEMISTRY. Now producers are more likely to bank on stars and neglect
the rest of that list. And that's how you end up with all these movies
that don't just feel vaguely similar but ARE completely similar, just
swap in Matthew McConaghey, Harry Connick Jr., or Colin Firth and Renee
Zellweger, Kate Hudson or Sandra Bullock. This may sound like a joke
but stop and consider it for a minute. Go ahead, I'll wait...See? The
biggest complaint I have with these type of movies (or the recent
iteration of them) is that little attention is paid to making it seem
plausible the romantic leads WON'T get together. Isn't that the
inherent drama here, what people are paying for? If you come in and
after 15 minutes say 'yup, she's gonna sleep with him,' then what's the
point. It's like they're making a cake off an old recipe that's missing
a few ingredients. As for Gerald Butler I still have faith he can make
a career for himself in either smashing things or switching gears and
doing comedy (he seemed to have the potential to be funny on a recent
'SNL'). As for Heigel, my thoughts on her really aren't fit for print
in a family publication. She's the worst kind of actor, worst kind of
person and typifies everything you think of with the word 'celebrity.'
If she contracted some mysterious illness that forced her to leave
acting forever this would not be a bad thing. She cannot fall out of
favor with producers fast enough."
The Achievers
VPJ: "Sometimes I love America. Not so much when
we're torturing people, stuffing 25% of the world's natural resources
down our ever-widening gullets, and denying basic civil rights to gay
people. But I love America when we use our unique American ingenuity
and lack of real problems to come up with sublimely-ridiculous wastes
of time like Lebowski-Fest. Created as a joke by some rabid (yet
mellow) fans of the Coen Brothers' 'The Big Lebowski,' the Fest has
grown over the years, drawing in bathrobe-clad, White Russian-sipping
devotees of the Dude, Walter, Donnie, Maude Lebowski, Nihilists, Jackie
Treehorn, and The Jesus to pay homage to one of the most
bizarrely-beloved films of all time. Sort of like a 'Trekkies' for 'The
Big Lebowski,' the film is, like 'Trekkies,' amusedly affectionate
towards its subjects, guys who, it seems, have taken the Dude's
half-Zen/half-stoned philosophy to their slovenly hearts. The Dude
abides, and 'The Achievers' is a testament to, well, abiding."
JE: "And I'll gladly STAND-UP, next to you and
defend her still TODAY! Cause their ain't no doubt I love this
lannnnnnnnnnnd! God BLESS the USA!...Sorry. I got a little teary-eyed
there. You actually have hit on something interesting (as you often
do), which is this quirky ingenuity we seem to have a trademark on in
America. The kind of inventiveness that astounds you because you never
thought someone would devote so much time to a movie or TV, but you get
scared at the thought of what if they used those powers for good? In
that same vein it seems this is becoming a sub-genre of movies, the
'fanatic documentary' that follows these people and their passions. As
for 'The Big Lebowski,' consider me a big fan (and obnoxious
over-quoter). It could be my favorite Coen Brothers flick ('Miller's
Crossing,' 'O Brother Where Art Thou' and 'Raising Arizona' all trade
that top spot too.). Though I don't know if I'm fan enough to dress up
as Karl Hungus in public. Maybe. Bangor recently had a sizable Lebowski
fest and I think Portland is due for its own. Could I interest you in a
White Russian my friend?"
And get ready for the SPEED ROUND of the rest of this week's
releases, or, as Jonesy puts it "movies not quite interesting enough
for me to have seen this week." But that doesn't mean it's not worth
your consideration:
Bela Fleck: Throw Down Your Heart: "Beloved musician tours Africa in this documentary!"
Lake Tahoe: "Hapless teen meets quirky weirdos while trying to find someone to fix his family car on the QT in this indie dramedy!"
The Accidental Husband: "Uma Thurman is back in
this difficult-to-explain comedy about a guy who pretends that he and
Uma's advice guru are secretly married to get revenge on her for
advising his girlfriend to leave him! (Told you it was confusing...)"
The Merry Gentleman: "Michael Keaton is back! He directs himself as a tortured hitman falling in love with the lady from 'No Country for Old Men!'"
PARTING SHOTS:
- Seriously, why is Pixar dominating animated family features?
- Is the drama gone from "will they/won't they" movies?
- Would you suit up for a Lebowski Fest in Portland? Who'd you be?
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Monday, November 02, 2009
|
..
....
..
Volume CCXX-
November Rain
For
the Week of 11/3/09
Videoport
gives you a free rental every, single day. You're welcome...
Middle
Aisle Monday. (Get one free
rental
from the Sci-Fi, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Mystery/Thriller,
Animation or Staff Picks sections with your paid rental.)
>>>
Ed the Renter continues his perilous A-Z journey through Videoport's
Incredibly Strange section. Hold on tight:
Alien
Prey-
A couple of lesbians get attacked by a carnivorous alien. What more
needs to be said! Rent now!
The
Adventures of Barry Mackenzie- Pretty good especially if you
thought Crocodile Dundee needed more comedy and crossdressers.
The
Alarmist- Not very impressive but begs the question "who
decided the best way to advertise this disc was with a picture of
Stanley Tucci tied to a chair with David Arquette leering over him"?
Hey, if the phrase "Stanley Tucci in bondage" is your
thing, go for it.
The
Anarchist's Cookbook- This could have been much better but fell
into the whole "rebelling isn't really such a good thing"
mold- boring.
Andy
Warhol's Trash- Yeah that pretty much sums up all those films for
me. I hate Warhol, never understood his appeal, and pretty much hold
him responsible for ruining modern art. But if you're feeling
pretentious certainly check these out.
Tough
and Triassic Tuesday. (Get one free rental from the Action or
Classics sections with your paid rental.)
>>>
Dennis suggests you take ACTION, and rent a free CLASSIC today!
(Apologies for the shameless pandering, and the bad wordplay, but the
deadline looms, and the inches must be filled. If you want to avoid
such unpleasantness in the future, send in your own movie reviews,
movie lists, or anything else movie related to us at
denmn@hotmail.com, our Myspace page www.myspace.com/videoportjones,
or our Facebook page "Videoport Jones". SO take ACTION
today and...oh, forget it...)
Wacky
and Worldly Wednesday. (Get one free rental from the Comedy or
Foreign Language sections with your paid rental.)
>>>
B.S. Eliot suggests Local
Hero (in
Comedy). As I waited for the frigid arms of Death to cradle me into
the Infinite Slumber, I popped in Local
Hero,
hoping that the main menu screen would have some peaceful music that
I could die to. Guess what? Totally shafted? Turns out it's one of
those old-ass DVDs that not only doesn't have peaceful main menu
music, but also it just starts playing the movie after a couple
minutes, whether you like it or you don't like it. Indignantly, I
hurled the empty bottle of Aleve at the television and took a haul
off my Bud Light/Clamato beverage. Paralyzed by laziness, I was
forced to watch Local
Hero.
However, 111 minutes later (allegedly, according to the back of the
case), this tale of strange and subtle charms had restored my will to
live, my hunger for adventure, my sex drive, and, most importantly,
my devotion to Gorgon, the disembodied voice that commands me to
steal alcoholic Clamato beverages from 7/11. I give this film a B+.
Thrifty
Thursday. (Get one free
movie
from any section with your paid rental.)
>>>
Anime
Ed suggests these selections from Videoport's collection of Japanese
animation:
Shigurui-
This is the best anime I have seen in long time. Very dark samurai
drama, concentrating on the madness and violence of the life instead
of the whole honor and bushido thing. Highly recommended!! Banzai!
Hell
Girl- Man the Japanese sure love revenge. This series is all
about that and the price paid for exacting it. A little repetitive at
first but pays off towards the end. Hell Girl's so cute when she
dispatches folks to purgatory, I just want to hug her! Banzai!!
Free
Kids Friday. (Get one free
rental from
the Children's or Family sections, no other rental necessary).
>>>
Dennis suggests that you don't
allow your little darlings to handle DVD until they learn that you
never, EVER touch the
shiny side of the disc
with your adorable, jam-smeared fingers. Maybe when they're ready to
head off to college...
Having
a Wild Weekend. (Rent two, get your third movie for free from any
section on Saturday and Sunday.)
>>>For
Saturday,
No More Mistress Nice Mommy suggests 'Leverage'
(in
Mystery/Thriller). If you're anything like me, you have literally
stayed awake all night, thrown into adrenalin-fueled insomnia with
thoughts of revenge. You don't want anyone to get hurt and you can't
get caught, but someone needs to get ruined. You're an average,
hard-working, dirt-poor American like me; you've had a boss who
screams at you no matter how hard you work, an ex- who tries to
brainwash your child, or maybe you've even been physically hurt by
someone. I feel your pain. This is the show for you. Three men and
two awesome women (all former "loaners") form a
multimillion dollar, philanthropy-type operation that specializes in
getting back at really bad guys who totally victimize really super
nice people like you and me (who are totally innocent!!) Suspend
your disbelief for 42 delightful, campy minutes an episode with this
very satisfying show. A great cast and 'Mission
Impossible'-
type action make up for the preposterous storylines. I guarantee
this show will entertain you and take your mind off all the bad
people for a while.
>>>For
Sunday,
Emily S. Customer suggests Twin
Falls Idaho.
If ever an indie film had all the false hallmarks of being an
exploitative mess, Twin
Falls Idaho
is it. The film opens in a hotel of Lynchian dim seediness where two
shy, faltering conjoined twins receive a visit from a zany young
prostitute named Penny. The film soon introduces a substory with an
ambiguous doctor (played with ironic distance by Patrick Bachau,
veteran of many vampy and vampirific Eurotrash roles*), and its
turning point is a misunderstanding at a Halloween party. This sounds
like a voyeuristic peepshow or a maudlin mockery... but instead Twin
Falls, Idaho
manages to be a tender character study, a solemn, sweet tale about
love and interdependence and loneliness. It's a mournful little story
with some gently touching performances. Mark and Michael Polish,
writer and writer-director brothers, also star as Blake and Francis
Falls, and they convey their closeness with a (quite literally) quiet
intimacy: the two murmur confidingly to each other as if they have,
indeed, spent a lifetime only inches apart. Michele Hicks is brash
and gentle by turns, a convincing portrait of a hard-bitten young
hooker struggling between self-interest and compassion. And Lesley
Ann Warren** turns in another of her remarkable small supporting
roles here, wrestling with a really unlikeable part and giving it her
all. The whole film is a very successful oddity. It's tentative and
slow, almost peaceful in its startling way --- a meditative and
lovely study that pushes the audience to consider an experience
completely outside the scope of most daily lives and simultaneously
makes us realize how very alike we are in our desires and our
limitations.
*Editor's
Note: Such as his suavely villainous turn in one of my all-time
favorite movies Choose
Me.
**Editor's
Other Note: Also from the cult classic Choose
Me!
New
Releases this week at Videoport:
GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra (for
the second week in a row, we get a big budget action flick based on a
line of toys! We are clearly being punished for something!), Lemon
Tree (metaphorical
drama about a Palestinian widow trying to keep her new neighbor, an
Israeli defense minister , from having the titular item cut down),
The
Taking of Pelham 123
(John Travolta and Denzel Washington team up with soulless
action-meister Tony Scott to remake the 1974 thriller about the
hijacking of the titular New York City subway train; this one is
fine, but please ignore the dismissive comments made by the dingbat
Scott about the original- that one's better), Will
Ferrell: You're Welcome America- A Final Night With George W. Bush
(filmed version of Ferrell's one man Broadway show as the former, um,
president, I guess you'd have to call him; this is absolutely
hilarious, by the way), Food,
Inc.
(as a vegetarian, I try not to be all self-righteous about eating
meat; it's easier when someone makes as harrowing a documentary
about the unspeakably horrifying methods corporate food producers use
to get that yummy meat to the table; was that a little snotty?
Sorry), Aliens
in the Attic
(some adorable little moppets have to fight off the aliens invading
their beach house; starring former SNL
pals Tim Meadows and Kevin Nealon, and at least two tweens named
Ashley), I
Love You, Beth Cooper
(hen the nerdy high school valedictorian proclaims his love for the
most popular girl in school, she shows up at his house and gives him
the best night of his life in this teen comedy undoubtedly written by
a lonely one-time valedictorian), The
Answer Man
(Jeff Daniels plays a reclusive self-help author who finds out that
real life is a little more complicated than he'd thought when he
meets troubled single mom Lauren Graham), Command
Performance
(Dolph Lundgren is back! He punches a bunch o'guys! What else do
you need to know!), Sand
Serpents
(the guy from Iron
Eagle
fighting, well, serpents, that live in the sand, I guess), Fears
of the Dark
(check Videoport's Foreign Language section for this new, animated
anthology film where sic of the creepiest dudes in cartooning work
together to give you the heebie-jeebs), The
Tournament
(overqualified actors Ving Rhames and Robert Carlyle lend their
seemingly-currently-unvalued talents to this direct-to-DVD action
flick about an assassin tournament where assassins try to assassinate
each other), 'Monty
Python's Almost the Truth'
(comprehensive documentary where all the surviving Pythons dish on
how they became the funniest human beings in the history of the
universe).
New
Arrivals this week at Videoport:
The
Dead
(absolutely lovely; John Huston's final film saw him directing
daughter Anjelica and doing justice to James Joyce's short story,
which I maintain is the single most beautiful thing ever written by
anyone, ever), The
English Surgeon
(documentary about the titular doctor, working at an underfunded
Ukraine hospital, and the wrenching decisions and compromises he must
make on a daily basis), Black
Devil Doll
(where do you find a willfully-offensive horror comedy about the
spirit of a black militant who comes back in the body of a murderous,
horny ventriloquist dummy? Why in Videoport's Incredibly Strange
section, of course!), Strip
Nude for Your Killer
(the all-time worst advice? Perhaps, but see for yourself when you
rent this 1975 Italian sleaze- and murder- and boob-fest, starring
the queen of same, the sluttily-lovely Edwige Fenech), 'Private
Century'
(filmmaker Jan Sikl spellbindingly edits together forty years of home
movies from ordinary people in order to tell the modern history of
Czechoslovakia through their eyes), Unmistaken
Child
(documentary follows a young Buddhist monk who embarks on a
years-long journey to find the child who he believes is the
reincarnation of his beloved teacher; touching and all, but, since
that child's parents might not believe in spooky ghost nonsense, also
kind of creepy, no?), Paraiso
Travel (a
seductive young woman with dreams of riches in New York City and the
puppylovestruck young man who's devoted to her attempt to travel
illegally from their home in Colombia to America in this one), The
Hellbenders
(this 1967 Spaghetti Western starring Joseph Cotten is beloved of
Quentin Tarantino, so you are gonna watch it; also, check out the
informative documentary The
Spaghetti West
to find out what that whole deal was all about), 'Edge
of Darkness' (when
his nuclear activist daughter is killed, a straightlaced British
father is forced to confront his country's nuclear policies in the
80s in this British miniseries),
Earth 2100
(speculative [translated: terrifying] documentary posits how our
current glutinous habits could mean all human life is doomed in the
next century, unless people make some small, manageable personal
sacrifices; oh crap...), Dr.
Bronner's Magic Soapbox
(documentary about the story behind the liquid soap with all of the
utterly bananas and borderline creepy sayings on the bottle), Red
Cliff
and Red
Cliff 2 (how
did Videoport get a hold of two precious copies of legendary action
director John Woo's [The
Killer,
Hard
Boiled]
massive, epic historical drama? You don't know...you don't wanna
know...), IP
Man
(Donnie Yen and Simon Yam star in this martial arts biopic about the
first teacher of Wing Chun [and Bruce Lee's teacher]), Shinjuku
Incident
(the new Jackie Chan movie! A violent tale of illegal Chinese
immigrants, the Yakuza, and, one presumes, a lot of kicking).
BUY
THINGS!
All
right, we've held off until November, but it's time to kick the
holiday shopping frenzy into overdrive for the year. Here, then are
the iron-clad reasons why you should shop at Videoport this year,
instead of throwing your money to some giant, local-economy
crippling, employee-exploiting, crappy customer service-having
corporate behemoth:
1.
You get something for yourself for buying something for
someone else: for every movie you buy from Videoport, you get a free
rental on your Videoport account! So, buy one movie for a loved one
and you get one free rental for yourself. Buy two, get two. You get
the idea...
1a.
Of course, Videoport, in addition to all of the movies for sale right
here in the store, can order any movie, boxed set, or TV show
currently in print. It'll take about a week.
2.
Videoport has gift certificates: yup, for the big movie
renter on your list, give the gift of rentals! And, make sure to
tell the lucky stiff that Videoport gift certificate rentals are good
with Videoport's daily specials! That means, essentially, that
you're giving twice as many movie rentals as it seems! You're twice
as good a friend/lover/obligated co-worker! (Our 'three rentals for
ten bucks' gift certificate makes a perfect Secret Santa gift that
says "I had to get you something"!
Check
out the VideoReport (and more) online!
You
can read back issues of the VideoReport, leave comments, read
the weekly new release review column by Videoport Jones and Justin
Ellis (of the Portland Press Herald), and pretty much any weird movie
article, link, or list we can come up with in our spare time. Just
type in www.videoportjones.wordpress.com to your computer-type device
and join in the fun.
Park
for free at Videoport!
1.
Parking meters are silly and inactive after 6pm Monday-Saturday and
all day on Sunday.
2.
The parking lot behind the building is open for free one hour
parking after 5pm Monday-Friday and all day on weekends.
3.
Videoport takes part in the Park & Shop program (because we're
so super), which means you can just pull in to any downtown parking
garage (including the courthouse garage, about a minute away) and
we'll get you a free hour of parking. Again, you're welcome...
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Monday, October 26, 2009
|
..
....
..
Volume CCXIX-
Werewolf Bar
Mitzvah,
Spooky Scary...
For
the Week of 10/27/09
Videoport
wishes you a spooky, scary, and renty Halloween. Oh, by the way,
LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU! Bwaa ha haaaa...gotcha!
Middle
Aisle Monday. (Get one free
rental
from the Sci-Fi, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Mystery/Thriller,
Animation or Staff Picks sections with your paid rental.)
>>>
Ed the Renter kicks off this Halloweenie edition of the VideoReport
with
some obscure, quick-hitter horror movie suggestions (you can find
them all in the Horror section. Duh):
Phantasm-
Absolutely the best "who the ef knows what is happening"
horror movie ever. Gets points in my book for the great cheesy scene
where the heroes are attacked by a giant bug.
Pin-
Very creepy. Good movie no one has ever sen.
Pumpkinhead-
Come on, this is the perfect Halloween movie. Lance Henriksen rules!!
Rojo
Sangre- The great Paul Naschy gets a tour de force in this one.
Best opening line ever!
Tough
and Triassic Tuesday. (Get one free rental from the Action or
Classics sections with your paid rental.)
>>>
Emily S. Customer suggests Arsenic
and Old Lace
(in Mystery/Thriller, but it's a Classic, so you can rent it for free
on Tuesday!). Mortimer Brewster (Cary Grant), confirmed bachelor and
outspoken author of anti-marriage books and essays, has succumbed to
the charms of the girl next door (Priscilla Lane) and gotten himself
hitched --- on Halloween, no less! Now he just has to share the happy
news with the dotty old aunts and uncle who raised him, and then he
and the blushing bride can take off for their honeymoon. But you've
seen enough screwball comedies to know: it's never that simple.
Mortimer's departure is delayed, and his marital bliss postponed,
when he learns that his sweet little aunts (Josephine Hull and Jean
Adair) have been poisoning their unfortunate gentleman lodgers in a
campaign to end the suffering of lonely old bachelors. Things go from
bad to worse when more of Mortimer's long-lost family shows up;
meanwhile, his unwitting bride anxiously awaits him. It's
old-fashioned screwballery brought to you by Frank Capra, who puts
some slapstick-y fillips on the original stage play. Cary Grant takes
advantage of the hilarity, discarding his usual urbane gloss in favor
of over-the-top takes and unabashed mugging; Hull and Adair balance
this beautifully, radiating a calm and contented benevolence over the
whole macabre mess. It's a romp of dark comedy and goofy suspense.
Wacky
and Worldly Wednesday. (Get one free rental from the Comedy or
Foreign Language sections with your paid rental.)
>>>
Dennis suggests that you check out these cool scary flicks in the
Foreign Language section if you're feeling adventurous (and if the
Horror section has been decimated by the less adventurous) this
Halloween season. Anatomy
(gory thriller starring Run Lola Run's Franka Potente as a spunky med
student uncovering bloody secrets in her medical school), The
Orphanage
(genuinely terrifying and moving Spanish haunted house thriller), The
Devil's Backbone
(another gem of atmospheric horror from Spain), Pulse,
Shutter,
Ringu,
Ringu
2,
One
Missed Call,
Evil
Dead Trap,
Dark
Water,
The
Grudge
(all really scary Japanese films, most of which were apallingly
remade into American crapfests), They
Came Back
(moody French film about loved ones coming back from the
dead...different), Nosferatu
(Werner Herzog's remake of the silent German vampire classic), Tesis
(really intense thriller about a grad student who uncovers some
really unpleasant things while investigating the urban legend of
snuff films), Cronos
(weird vampire flick from Guillermo Del Toro, director of Pan's
Labyrinth
and The
Devil's Backbone),
Vampyr
(Carl
Dreyer's 1932 adaptation of the classic vampire novel by Sheridan le
Fanu)...branch out horror fans- the rest of the world's a very scary
place.
Thrifty
Thursday. (Get one free
movie
from any section with your paid rental.)
>>>
Emily S. Customer suggests Donnie
Darko.
It's October, 1988, and Donnie Darko is counting down the days until
Halloween. Why? The movie unravels that mystery, sort of, but the
journey to that half-answer is tortuous, intriguing, and disturbing
on several levels. Despite writer-director Richard Kelly's intent,
for many viewers, the story ends up as a meta-mystery: is Donnie
receiving supernatural messages about a doomsday event, or is he
slipping dangerously out of touch with reality? Is this a film about
extra-natural events, about a young man's existential crisis, or
about a descent into madness? Either way, the film is tragic,
complexly compassionate, and sweetly elegiac, with a sorrowful
empathy not only for Donnie's plight, but also for supporting
characters which a lesser film would treat as two-dimensional
villains or clueless chumps. Jake Gyllenhall, starring as Donnie, is
an inspired piece of casting. He's completely believable as a clever
but troubled teenager. Gyllenhaal's Donnie is vaguely threatening, a
complicated mess of confusion and yearning, hulking around in a
man-sized body. He manages to meld seemingly opposing characteristics
in every moment of film. He's gloomy and dark, but with bright bursts
of cheer and charm breaking across his face like sun breaking through
stormclouds, and even displays moments of delightful childlike
innocence. This is Kelly's first film, and its scope and scale are
almost impossibly ambitious; without Gyllenhaal's talent and ability
to underplay, you could cut that "almost" and leave it at
"impossible." (Though both DVD versions are fine, I prefer
the original theatrical release; the director's cut is 20 minutes
longer, with a more cluttered narrative and less Echo and The
Bunnymen.)
Free
Kids Friday. (Get one free
rental from
the Children's or Family sections, no other rental necessary).
>>>
Emily
S. Customer suggests
It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! "It's
the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown"
teaches us about hope and about humility. Every year, Linus waits for
the Great Pumpkin, and every year, Linus is disappointed. Yet he
persists: he tries to sustain the wavering hope that this
year
something transcendent will visit him, will validate his years of
sacrifice and trust. "Each year, the Great Pumpkin rises out of
the pumpkin patch that he thinks is the most sincere. He's gotta
pick this one. He's got to. I don't see how a pumpkin patch can be
more sincere than this one. You can look around and there's not a
sign of hypocrisy. Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see."
He's the Fox Mulder of the Peanuts gang: he wants
to believe. I love you, Linus, even though you're the sad puppet of a
fundamentalist gourd-based religious faction.
Having
a Wild Weekend. (Rent two, get your third movie for free from any
section on Saturday and Sunday.)
>>>For
Saturday,
April suggests Whatever
Happened to Baby Jane?
(in Horror). Bette Davis got the Oscar nomination for her role of
Baby Jane in this awesome creepfest but it's Joan Crawford who really
makes the movie great. Yeah, yeah, Davis is all crazy psycho dressed
like a creepy doll but I just keep thinking how terrifying it is to
be the wheelchair-bound sane sister. If you're looking for a great
movie to watch on Halloween that isn't all gore and guts and actually
has real thrills in it, you can't go wrong with Baby
Jane.
>>>For
Sunday,
Emily S. Customer suggests Ginger
Snaps
(in Horror). Breaking away from the stultifying mass of formulaic
teenage-horror films, Ginger
Snaps
is a darkly subversive werewolf movie with a vicious sense of humor
and an unapologetic frankness about youthful hungers. It tells the
story of the Fitzgerald sisters (Emily Perkins and Katherine
Isabelle), two disaffected teenagers who radiate stagey, shallow
morbidity. Even their longstanding death pact bores them silly. Their
mother (played with pitch-perfect determined cheer by Mimi Rogers)
watches them with hysterically-repressed anxiety, hoping that her
daughters will grow up into perfectly normal darlings. Spoiler alert:
they won't. The film cleverly uses lycanthropy as a complex metaphor
for the many transformations that come with puberty --- not only the
bodily metamorphosis, the shapeshifting and hairiness and bleeding,
but also the unrelenting insistence of the body's appetites. Perkins
and Isabelle handle their roles with the aplomb of accomplished
actors; they manage to earn our empathy without betraying the deeply
bitter and unpleasant characters of Brigitte and Ginger Fitzgerald,
who (with the ardor of bored teenagers everywhere) would rather die
than be average.
New
Releases this week at Videoport:
Battlestar Galactica: The Plan
(Galactica junkies rejoice! Thought the series has ended, and thus
your lives have no meaning, this posthumous BG movie promises to sate
your cravings, at least for a little while...), Ice
Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (part
three of the animated film series with the prehistoric animals with
the celebrity voices and all; it'll hold us until Up
comes out on Novemebr 10th!), Orphan
(Peter Sarsgaard and Vera Farmiga learn the lesson that adopting
needy children from other countries leads to horror and death. Has
anyone told Brangelina? Sarsgaard's a good actor, at least),
Whatever
Works ('Curb
Your Enthusiasm''s Larry David is the latest talented actor to be
swallowed up as Woody Allen's comic mouthpiece in the Woodman's most
recent, largely-forgettable exercise in creative petering-out),
Nothing
Like the Holidays
(yup, it's time for the year's crop of Christmas movies to begin;
this one's can boast a wealth of Latino Hollywood talent, with John
Leguizamo, Elizabeth Pena, Freddy Rodriguez, and the ever-welcome
Luiz Guzman, oh, and Debra Messing, for some reason),
'Life After People'- season 1
(the History Channel speculates on what the world is gonna be like
after all of us pesky humans disappear with the help of experts,
spooky narration, and lots of CGI buildings going SMASH!; seriously,
this sort of thing is like crack to me), Into
Temptation (Jeremy
Sisto and Kristin Chenoweth star as, respectively, a priest and a
prostitute in this dark drama; also starring 'The Office''s Kevin
[Brian Baumgartner], which is irrelevant, but I like Kevin),
Il Divo
(brilliant, darkly-comic biopic about Giulio Andreotti, the longtime
Italian politician whose reputed connections to the Mafia, the
Freemasons, and a whole lot o' murders [including, possibly, that of
his political rival, Prime Minister Aldo Moro] haven't prevented him
from being named 'Senator for life'), Stan
Helsing
(get it? Yeah, it's another labored, unfunny movie spoof from some
of the people responsible for the Scary Movie franchise), Afterwards
(direct-to-DVD thriller about a lawyer who meets a spooky guy who
claims he can predict when someone is about to die; the only reason
you should conceivably care- said spooky guy is played by a slumming
John Malkovich).
New
Arrivals this week at Videoport:
Tinkerbell
and the Lost Treasure
(yay! Disney continues to plunder its own animation legacy with
another direct-to-DVD sequel! Our standards are getting lower as we
speak!),
Z
(Costa-Gavras' superlative political thriller about right-wing Greek
fascists trying to overthrow the country's democratically-elected
government [like they do], gets the deluxe, Criterion treatment),
Death
in the Garden
(from legendary surrealist director Luis Bunuel comes this belated
DVD release of his 1956 tale of a diverse group of people forced to
flee into a South American rainforest due to a local revolution),
Perestroika
(an acclaimed astrophysicist returns to his native Russia after
decades in exile, only to find the new, post-Communist Moscow as
confusing as ever; cult movie fans- this was directed by the guy who
made Liquid
Sky!),
'Trial
and Retribution'- season 3
(more of the British crime series currently setting rental records in
Videoport's Mystery/Thriller section), You
Weren't There: A History of Chicago Punk 1977-1984
(documentary includes great footage of seminal Windy City punk bands
like Effigies, Naked Raygun, Strike Under, Articles of Faith and
others), I
Can See You
(just in time for Halloween, this surreal, low budget horror film
follows some yuppies in the woods, with things going about as wrong
as they possibly can...), Lioness
(documentary
about a group of American female soldiers who, in the [current] Iraq
war, became the first group of female soldiers to fight in direct
ground combat), Tucker's
Crossing
and The
Bigfoot Diaries
(two low budget horror films from New Hampshire director Jamie Sharps
whose very nice ladyfriend brought them to us for you all to rent),
Roxy
Music: More Than This (the
Brian/Bryans [Eno and Ferry]'s legendary band gets their own
retrospective documentary), I
Am Because We Are
(this documentary, about the wrenching fate of the million plus
orphans in Malawi dealing with AIDS, and, well, being orphans was
written by Madona, of all people, and features Desmond Tutu and
others; thus ensuring that the names 'Madonna' and Desmond Tutu'
would be forever linked in the most unlikely pairing of all time),
Summer
Storm..
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Sunday, October 25, 2009
|
Justin’s indisposed this week, on top secret Portland Press Herald
business. He’ll be back next week to give me some sorely-needed backup.
Oh, and if you’re looking for Justin and my column in the PPH’s GO section this week (or any week hereafter apparently), you can go on ahead and stop now. Oh, well, back to the internet ghetto…
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: “Some thoughts which occurred whilst watching Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen:
1. I actually watched Transformers 2. I believe I should be afforded some credit and/or sympathy for this.
2. Why did they make that one weedy little robot, the one with the
spray tan and the pubescent facial hair? Oh, wait, that’s Shaia
LaBeouf. Apologies.
3. Well, at least they got the other robot right; pretty, lifelike,
and it moves and talks almost like a real human. Oh wait, that’s Megan
Fox. Apologies. (A sidebar: in How to Lose Friends and Alienate People,
Ms. Fox played a vapid, waxily-pretty starlet whom the other characters
actively posit may be secretly mentally-challenged. Watching her in
this movie, I found myself wondering that the actual Ms. Fox may be
mentally-challenged. She’s worse at pointing and yelling in front of a
green screen than the kids in The Goonies).
4. Oh Rainn Wilson, I just feel bad for you, dude. This is not a
wise step in your attempt to prove yourself a viable movie actor.
5. While I resisted the urge to do so (mostly), I think you can lay
on the fast forward button on your remote whenever there are just
humans on the screen. Not that the twenty or so scenes where LaBeouf
and Fox decide whether to break up aren’t riveting. Seriously, someone
out there should do an all “robot smash” edit online.
6. The film seems to have appropriated George Lucas’ sense of humor,
right down to thinking that a minstrel-show, comic relief Jar Jar
Binks-esque transformer is a must.
7. The “robot smash” portions of the film are as exciting as
watching your roommate play “MechWarrior” on his PS2. (Studios: you can
put that quote on the DVD box for free if you like).
8. When a film begins with the credit, “in association with HASBRO”, you know it’s gonna be quality.
9. Speaking of #8, could this be the best film ever made from a line
of toys? (Again, feel free to use that quote to promote the film…) I
can think of Bratz, the My Little Pony movie, and maybe the Care Bears film. Definitely it’s in the top two anyway.
10. Further delving into #8, which genre is the most hellish on us viewers: the ‘based on video game movie’ (Street Fighter, Doom, Super Mario Brothers, Mortal Kombat, etc), the ‘based on a board game’ movie (Clue, The Mutant Chronicles, the upcoming Candyland film [god, I wish I were joking], etc), the ‘based on a Disney theme park ride’ movie (Tower of , The Haunted Mansion, and don’t get me started in the interminable Pirates of the Caribbean
franchise), the ‘based on a TV series movie (a list too depressing to
go into here), or this, the ‘based on a toy line’ movie? Man, I sort of
liked Clue, so it can’t be that category, but…
11. Does no one know the difference between a fun, exciting
brainless action blockbuster and a lame, limply-directed commercial
product anymore?
12. If I were getting paid, I’d be demanding hazard pay right now.
As it is, I’m going to pour myself a beer and watch some Kurosawa
before I’m too stupid to finish this article…”
Blood: The Last Vampire: “This live-action remake
of an anime flick about a sweet-looking teenaged who’s actually a
centuries-old half vampire vampire killer has so much unconvincing,
sword-spilled gore, they should’ve called it “CGI : The Last Vampire.”
HAHAHAA, get it! Anybody? Well, that’s about all I’ve got for this one,
a barely-released, entirely blah would-be action movie. It’s got a
pretty Asian (in the requisite istic schoolgirl uniform), not a name
actor in sight, and performances worthy of the average video game cut
scene. Oh, and lots and lots of that really unconvincing computer .
Check out the original anime; it’s actually not bad.”
Cheri: “Michelle Pfeiffer reteams with her erstwhile Dangerous Liasons
director Stephen Frears for another saucy period piece. This one, while
perhaps fifty percent less saucy than its predecessor, is still most
worthwhile, with the enduringly-lovely Ms. Pfeiffer portraying an aging
courtesan in an adaptation of Colette’s typically-subtly and melancholy
novel. Let’s talk about Michelle Pfeiffer for a moment, shall we.
Pegged early on as just another (achingly beautiful) face, she revealed
herself a capable actress, able to infuse her (inevitably) gorgeous
characters with a surprising soulfulness in films like The Fabulous Baker Boys, Married to the Mob, The Age of Innocence, and my guilty pleasure Tequila Sunrise.
Then after wedding the once-ubiquitous TV creator David E. Kelley, she
toned down her career for a while. It’s nice to have her back, and
here, playing a woman, long invested in performance, who faces the
inevitable loss of her feminine charms, and therefore power, she brings
an added dimension to the film. And Frears is one of the
under-the-radar directors that people don’t realize is responsible for
some of their favorite films (I heartily recommend The Hit, My Beautiful Laundrette, Prick Up Your Ears, The Grifters, High Fidelity, Dirty Pretty Things, and The Queen). Worth a rental, especially on date night.”
Wrong Turn 3: Left for : “In lieu of beating
the crap out of this direct-to-DVD, star-less second sequel to a horror
movie that wasn’t any good to begin with, here’s a list of some recent
releases from the last month that I really liked: Away We Go, Drag Me to Hell, Infestation, Anvil!: The Story of Anvil, Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation, The friend Experience, Observe and Report, and O’Horten.
See- just because the studios toss us a lackluster new release week
doesn’t mean there’s not a wide, varied backlog of stuff on the
Videoport shelves to hold you over ’til next time. Oh, by the way, Wrong Turn 3 sucks.”
Saturday Night Live: The Best of Amy Poehler: “I love SNL,
for all it’s undeniable ups and downs, but I always felt that she was a
little above the show. A founding member of the brilliant improv and
sketch troupe the Upright Citizens Brigade, and star of the on-its-way-to-the-top sitcom ‘Parks and Recreation’,
the pixieish, crazy-eyed Poehler is like a tiny, fearless comic force
of nature. As for her best of- it’s funny, of course, because she’s in
it, but you should really see her in her element with the UCB. Check
out her stellar, bananas work in the first two seasons of their Comedy
Central sketch show and, especially, their stage show ASSSSCAT, where her particular brand of lunatic genius really shines. And she’s also my girlfriend.”
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Monday, October 19, 2009
|
Volume CCXVIII- Godzilla vs. Balki
For the Week of 10/20/09
Videoport will give you a free movie every single day…and there’s nothin’ you can do about it!
Middle Aisle Monday. (Get one free rental from the
Sci-Fi, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Mystery/Thriller, Animation or
Staff Picks sections with your paid rental.)
>>> Elsa S. Customer suggests The Limey (in Mystery/Thriller). A most unusual thriller, Steven Soderbergh’s The Limey
turns the classic revenge narrative on its side, holds it up, and lets
us see the light shine through. It’s an odd piece, and an affecting
one. Despite an excellent supporting cast, including marvelous
performances from Luis Guzman and Lesley Anne Warren, Terence Stamp
carries the film on his slim shoulders; he plays Wilson, an aging
British thief. During one of his many sojourns in jail, his daughter
Jenny grew up and moved to California, where she cavorted with a much
older (and much richer) music producer, Valentine (played with
old-school SoCal ease and skeeze by Peter Fonda). Now she’s dead. When
he’s released, Wilson heads straight to L.A. to get the real story.
He’s rough and gruff, full of colorful Cockney slang, and all alone in
an absurdly foreign culture. He’s also dangerously smart — about people
and about criminal enterprises. The discontinuity of the editing and
sound give the whole story a dreamy, dazed feeling, letting us
experience Wilson’s own sense of disorientation — in L.A., in the free
world outside of prison, and in a world that was home to the daughter
he loved but never really had time to know. The film loops between
states: it’s static and pensive and dreamily unwinding into emptiness,
and suddenly it’s whip-fast and viciously sharp… and back again.
Suitably enough for a film about aging 1960s icons, the narrative in The Limey plays like a warped old LP, spinning around on its axis and warbling its wavering song into the air.
Tough and Triassic Tuesday. (Get one free rental from the Action or Classics sections with your paid rental.)
>>> April suggests a James Whale marathon! (In Classics). Who’s James Whale you ask? Why, only the director of such films as: Frankenstein
(1931), the classic tale of horror starring Boris Karloff as the
monster and Colin Clive as the doctor who says, “Now I know what it
feels like to be God!” The Old Dark House (1932)- a
creepy mansion is inhabited by the Femm family, who might be the first
“crazy-family-that-terrorizes-wayward travelers”. Starring Karloff as
the butler, Charles Laughton, and Gloria Stuart (the elderly Rose in Titanic). The Invisible Man
(1933). Claude Rains is the mad scientist who finds a way to become
invisible only to be driven mad in the process. Also with the lovely
Gloria Stuart. “The whole world’s my hiding place.” The Bride of Frankenstein
(1935). Karloff returns as the monster, Clive returns as the doctor,
and Elsa Lanchester joins the fun as the Bride. Fun fact: the tagline,
“The monster demands a mate is the name of one of my bands! ( myspace.com/themonsterdemandsamate). If you like these, you might want to check out Gods and Monsters with Ian McKellen as James Whale during his final days.
Wacky and Worldly Wednesday. (Get one free rental from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with your paid rental.)
>>> Dennis suggests immersing yourself in
the utterly insane world of Beat Takeshi/Takeshi Kitano. Born Takeshi
Kitano (he uses the stage name Beat Takeshi when he acts), this
diminutive, stone-faced Japanese actor/director started out, rather
improbably, as a very popular TV comedian (you can see him
 Comedy god. in dubbed reruns as the host of that insane Japanese game show where
smiling contestants dressed in fat suits get thrown around inside giant
pinball machines and the like), before stepping up to star in and
direct some of the most enigmatic, violent, deadpan comic, and
mysteriously affecting gangster movies ever made. His signature
character is a menacingly silent, impeccably dressed, loner who
undertakes some vague Yakuza task with an odd combination of playful
humor and hairtrigger, shocking violence, all performed with a nearly
unmoving, craggy-skinned, beady-eyed mask of a face. His task
completed, more often than you’d think he might commit suicide. I
highly recommend checking out his bafflingly-resonant work in Violent Cop, Boiling Point (which is utterly out of its mind), Sonatine (my favorite), Getting Any? (a comedy?!), Fireworks, Kikujiro
(where he plays essentially his same gangster character, but in a
sort-of-heartwarming buddy movie with a cute little kid), and Brother (his
one, mostly successful, foray into America). For a change of pace, you
can also check out his turn as the legendary blind swordsman in his
remake of the Zatoichi series. And don’t miss him acting all evil and stuff in the mind-blowingly shocking cult classic Battle Royale. A complete original.
Thrifty Thursday. (Get one free movie from any section with your paid rental.)
>>> Elsa S. Customer suggests Out of Sight (in
Feature Drama). Steven Soderbergh seems almost like two separate
entities: the highbrow arty type specializing in pensive, static,
experimental genre-breakers (Solaris, The Limey, Bubble), and the Hollywood player who cranks out commercial but strikingly well-executed crowdpleasers (Erin Brockovich, the Ocean’s franchise). Out of Sight,
starring George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez in a story adapted from an
Elmore Leonard novel, falls into the second category. It’s a sharp
heist story with a little flash and plenty of backbone: it even nabbed
two Oscar nominations, for Best Adapted Screenplay and Editing. When
you see the movie, you’ll see how very well-deserved those were, and
how both the writing and the editing contribute to the movie’s offbeat
pace. It should be a bog-standard crime thriller, but it ain’t.
Soderbergh invests it with interest and playfulness without ever being
precious or pretentious. I won’t tell you much about the story, except
that it’s tight and well-crafted, as Leonard’s stories are. Clooney
plays Jack Foley, a career criminal with (of course) a waggish twinkle;
Lopez is the no-nonsense U.S. Marshall with whom he collides. The two
of them are electric on-screen, whether they are zinging dialogue back
and forth like tennis stars or filling the silence with energy. To have
two magnetic stars with great chemistry is a gift, but a whole cast of
magnetic characters is near-miraculous. Listen to this: Ving Rhames,
Don Cheadle, Dennis Farina, Albert Brooks, Catherine Keener, Luis
Guzman, Michael Keaton. It’s a rare Hollywood heist movie that gives
you this much to enjoy.
Free Kids Friday. (Get one free rental from the Children’s or Family sections, no other rental necessary).
>>> Andy suggests ‘Star Trek: The Animated Series”.
It’s never too early (or too late, for that matter) to geek your kids
up. Start by introducing them to this delightful antique cartoon,
featuring the real, action-packed voices of William Shatner, Leonard
Nimoy, George Takei, James Doohan, and Nichelle Nichols. It’s just like
the original, live-action Star Trek, but with crappier special effects
and lots of talking cats. Seriously, like real aliens would so closely
resemble Earth cats. It’s fun!
Having a Wild Weekend. (Rent two, get your third movie for free from any section on Saturday and Sunday.)
>>>For Saturday, Dennis suggests you fill
up this space, not with, well, this filler, but with a movie or TV
review of your own. That’s right, gang, the VideoReport is the
place for everyone in the Videoport community to share their love (or
hate) of their favorite (or least-) films or shows with the rest of us.
Yup, we give you the freedom to ram your opinions down our throats on a
weekly basis! Just bring your reviews into the store, or send them to
us at denmn@hotmail.com or our Myspace page www.myspace.com/videoportjones and, unless it’s just a string of ill-spelled profanities and personal attacks against us, we’ll run it!
>>>For Sunday, Elsa S. Customer suggests Don’t Look Now (in Mystery/Thriller). Even if you haven’t seen it, you’ve heard about it: Don’t Look Now
is one of the great 1970s not-horror movies. Nicholas Roeg’s meditative
masterpiece of suspense follows Laura and John Baxter (Julie Christie
and Donald Sutherland) on a working trip to Venice; John has taken on a
restoration project there, hoping that the distraction of travel will
help them over the worst of their grief from their young daughter’s
recent death. I describe it as a a “not-horror” film because the
subject is not fear, but dread — the creeping, bottomless dismay of
grief, of loss, of the unrelenting reality of mortality. Despite their
emotional friction and John’s haunting premonitions, the Baxters
sporadically try to inject humor, beauty, and passion into their days,
but keep drawing back again into anxiety and grief… with good reason,
as it turns out.
New Releases this week at Videoport: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (GIANT ROBOTS GO SMASH! SMASHHHHHH!!!!!), Blood: The Last Vampire (live
action version of the horror/action anime features vampires, lots of
CGI blood, and an ass-kicking, sweet-faced Asian girl in a schoolgirl
uniform with huge ninja swords; something for every fetish!), Cheri (Michelle Pfeiffer reteams with her Dangerous Liasons director Stephen Frears for another saucy period piece), ‘The L Word: The Final Season’
(that’s season six, in case you were wondering, of this sapphic soap;
someone please give Pam Grier a sexy new role immediately!), ‘Saturday Night Live: The Best of Amy Poehler’ (unremitting wackiness from the crazy-eyed comedy pixie goddess [and my girlfriend] Amy Poehler), Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (yay! Another direct-to-DVD horror sequel! Remember: rural people are cannibals!), National Lampoon: Endless Bummer
(get it? It’s a play on words! Clever! There was once a magazine that
employed the likes of Michael O’Donoghue, Doug Kenney, Anne Beatts, and
was responsible for movies like Animal House; let’s remember those times…).
New Arrivals this week at Videoport: Fados (another dazzling, dance-centric film from director Carlos Saura, this completes his musical trilogy [after Flamenco and Tango, both available in Videoport's Foreign Language section, of course] with its depiction of the titular Portuguese dance), The Elephant King
(Ellen Burstyn sends her momma’s boy son over to Thailand to retrieve
his wilder sibling, confident that he will not be seduced by the exotic
Thai lifestyle and/or a gorgeous native bartender lady; wait, he was?
Crap!), Prairie Giant: The Tommy Douglas Story
(fact-based miniseries about the social titular social reformer, a man
often referred to as ‘the greatest Canadian of all time’; me, I’d say
Rick Moranis, but…), Her Name is Sabine (from the Film Movement series comes this documentary by actress Sandrine Bonnaire about her autistic sister), Short Films by Mira Nair (like the title says, it’s a collection of short films by the director of Salaam Bombay, Monsoon Wedding, and The Namesake), ‘Loveless’ (new
Japanese animated series hits the Videoport anime section, this time
it’s about a boy living in a land where people have animal ears and
tails, which they only lose when they have sex; I love Japan!).
Check us out on Facebook, too! Type in either “Videoport” or “Videoport Jones”!
Want some free movies at Videoport? Here are about a million ways…
1. Rent a bunch of movies. Every time you hit your next hundred rentals, we give you two free ones.
2. Rent a movie any day of the week. If you check page one
of this here newsletter here, you’ll see that there’s a different
special every day of the week where you get a free movie. You literally
cannot come into Videoport without getting a free rental. Yeah…
3. Buy a movie. For every single movie you buy at
Videoport, we give you a free rental. Now if that’s not the perfect cue
to start whipping readers into a holiday buying frenzy, then I don’t
know what is: this holiday season, when you’re spending all your
hard-earned cash on a gang of glutinous, insatiable greed monsters (I
mean your loved ones, of course), why not get a little something for
yourself out of the deal? Videoport has a great selection of new and
previously-viewed DVDs for sale right in the store and we can also
order literally anything that’s currently in print. And, for every
movie you buy from us, we give you, yourself (not them) a free rental
that you can use any time.
4. Trade in your old DVDs. Got some movies or TV series
that you don’t want cluttering up your shelves anymore? Bring them in
to Videoport and we’ll turn them into free rentals on your Videoport
account. It’s that simple!
5. Spend some money. Videoport has two different savings
plans which, essentially, give you free money just for renting with us.
Seriously. Put $20 onto your Videoport account and we’ll turn that
twenty into $25 worth of rental credit. Pay $30 and we’ll give you $40
worth of rental credit. That’s five or ten free bucks worth of renting
cash, if my math is right.
Park for free at Videoport!
Here’s how: 1. Parking meters are turned off after 6pm,
Monday-Saturday and all day on Sunday. 2. The parking lot behind the
building is open for free one hour parking after 5pm on weekdays and
all day on the weekends. 3. Videoport participates in the Park &
Shop program, which means we can get you a free hour of parking at any
downtown Portland parking garage (including the courthouse garage which
is, literally, a two minute walk away). Just bring us your parking
stub, and we’ll give you one of our magic stickers!
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Thursday, October 15, 2009
|
You know it’s an off week for new releases
when Will Ferrell is in the dog house, and yet, here we are. The
legendary ‘SNL-er’ is in very real danger of slipping into Mike Meyers
comedy limbo. Fortunately Videoport Jones and I can take solace in a
few solid horror flicks, one from Sam Raimi and another from local boy
Kyle Rankin.
Land of the Lost
 "Wait, there's no script? No, none at all?" Videoport Jones: “Hey Justin, remember last week
when we were talking about a former ‘SNL’ superstar who seems to have
lost his way? Well, while Will Ferrell is nowhere close to the edge of
the Eddie Murphy ‘I just feel sorry for him’ phase of his career, it’s
films like this, a completely-unnecessary movie version of the truly
awful 70‘s kids show, which are going to wear out his cinematic welcome
if he’s not more cautious. Now, while it’s not an immutable law of the
universe that a movie remake of a television show is going to be a sad,
soul-sucking experience for all involved, well, I’m trying to think of
an example where it wasn’t. Umm…nope. It is an immutable law of the
universe; perhaps only the abyss of horror that is ‘movies based on
video games’ has a worse track record. Anyway, ‘Land of the Lost’ is
about as weak as you might expect – terrible script (’How many bodily
fluids can we douse Will Ferrell in?’ Quite a few as it turns out.),
jokes that don’t pay off and adequate but uninspired cartoony special
effects. It’s exactly the sort of half-baked premise and execution that
serves Will Ferrell the worst. I love Ferrell; his unique brand of
humor, equal parts satirical macho posturing, vacant-eyed panic, with
just a smidge of pathos, all enlivened by an improvisational gonzo
vibe, can be absolutely a force of nature (as in ‘Talladega Nights,’
‘Old School,’ and, of course, ‘Anchorman’). However, that same comic
force can turn, when left to carry an underwritten, slackly-directed
project like, say, ‘Blades of Glory,’ ‘Semi Pro,’ or, well, this movie,
into an unseemly spectacle of shrill mugging that is pretty
off-putting. In this movie, the strategy seems to have been, ‘Will will
save us,’ and, while he certainly gives it his all, this is the sort of
career choice that’s edging him closer to Murphytown. Ferrell, teamed
up here with a similarly-wasted Danny McBride (another funny guy left
to flounder around) and a love interest who brings absolutely nothing
to the table, tries hard to keep this one afloat, but he’s chosen a
very leaky ship.”
Justin: “Let’s call it the law of diminishing
Ferrells. I’m a very, very big Ferrell fan and ‘Anchorman’ is in my top
10, possibly top 5 movies of all time. No debate. Having said that, I
still think his schtick can be very one-note at times. It’s the
man-child thing over and over, from Ron Burgundy to Ricky Bobby to
Jackie Moon to Brennan Huff and now Dr. Rich Marshall, adventurer. We
get it, he’s a grown man who sometimes doesn’t act that way. What makes
that schtick work is a good script, a good premise/setting and great
surrounding players. You give him all of that and just let the improv
fly. ‘Land of the Lost’ is just a big question mark when you consider
those factors. I like McBride and Anna Friel (still crushing on her a
little from ‘Pushing Daisies’), but it seems like they’re not stranded
in this place out of space and time, but in a bad movie. Bad effort,
bad concept (the TV remake/update), and it’s a recipe for bad outcomes.
I think there may come a day when a TV update or remake can win (come
ON ‘Mama’s Family!’), but the track record is pretty bad here. I think
Will needs to be put on notice and fast cause he is sliding into a bad
place. Maybe another John C. Reilly team-up or ensemble role is in
order. While Will Ferrell will never slide into oblivion, he could wind
up in that weird comedy limbo where Mike Meyers now lives.”
Drag Me to Hell
 Well, it HAS been a while since I messed some stuff up... VPJ: “Director Sam Raimi is one of those guys, like
Peter Jackson, who film geeks like me can claim as one of our own. See,
we nerds worshiped Raimi way back when, when we saw his first film ‘The
Evil Dead’ and proclaimed him our geek god. Made for a pittance against
long odds, ‘The Evil Dead’ revealed Raimi to be a born filmmaker –
energetic, original, and ghoulishly-inventive. And so, when Raimi was
finally given the keys to a mega-budgeted tentpole franchise like the
Spider-man series, we were vindicated; our scruffy little genre film
hero was being recognized by the masses, and Sam, true to his gifts and
our hopes, turned in two and a half (the third movie got away from him)
fun, profitable, and exhilarating superhero movies that we could all be
proud of. Still, those of us who were there at the start, who talked
the man up at patience-trying, date-torpedoing, length to whomever we
could corner, longed for Raimi to get back to his roots, to get down
and dirty again in the horror flick trenches. And now our wishes have
come true:
 Now, this is what I would do to Bruce Campbell... ‘Drag Me to Hell’ is everything we could’ve hoped for (unless he had
brought Bruce Campbell back in the lead). Hilariously over-the-top,
wittily manipulative, soaked in gooey gore (don’t let the PG-13 rating
worry you) and running at full speed from start to finish, this movie
is obviously the work of a guy out to have fun again, and to make his
audience squirm, shriek, laugh, and repeat. Have I forgotten to mention
what the film’s about? Doesn’t matter – if you can’t appreciate this
one, you have no business calling yourself a horror fan.”
JE: “Testify brother Jones, testify! Yes, before he
was the man that brought Spidey to the world, Sam Raimi was a guy who
made twisted, weird (and at times gory) stuff that had an odd humor to
it. He was the guy who introduced us to Bruce ‘The Chin’ Campbell.
Watching ‘The Evil Dead’ is like having your eyes open (pried open by
demons maybe) to a whole new world. It’s like watching baseball being
played for the first time (maybe baseball played with chainsaws). How
someone can make a movie that is ridiculously over-the-top yet still
frightening and suspenseful is beyond me. And you know I am not the
world’s biggest horror fan, but I love me some Evil Dead franchise. To
this day one of the best experiences of my life was seeing Bruce
Campbell talk after a screening of the movie during college. Epic. So
now Sam’s back to what he does best, telling simple tales of things
gone horribly, gorily, hilariously wrong. In the case of ‘Drag Me to
Hell,’ it revolves around messing with gypsies. And as a buddy who saw
this movie said to me, it reinforces one of life’s simple rules: ‘Don’t
mess with gypsies.’”
Infestation
VPJ: “Speaking of fun, throwback horror, this new film from Portland native (and former Project
 Local boy makes good (movie). Greenlight victim, I mean winner) Kyle Rankin (longtime partner
Efram Potelle is still on board, but as special effects supervisor this
time), made me think of cheesy 80s monster semi-classics like ‘Tremors’
or ‘Arachnophobia.’ And that’s a good thing. Chris Marquette
(’Fanboys’) brings his Paul Rudd/John Cusack-lite comic timing to the
lead character, a slacker-y loser who finds himself inexplicably
fighting for the future of the human race when yucky alien bug-things
start spinning cocoons and mutating the hell out of everybody. It’s
pretty fun, with the ever-welcome Kyle and Efram pal Ray Wise doing his
ever-welcome comic turn as the kid’s gung-ho dad, and nicely-gooey
gross-out effects, along with some decent performances. Obviously shot
on a budget, ‘Infestation’ is nonetheless a welcome addition to the
cheesy monster comedy genre.”
JE: “I’m sensing a theme here. No, not horror
flicks or Jonesy’s love of gore (I know, I know, we’ve talked about
it), but horror films that don’t take themselves too seriously. We
touched on it before with ‘Trick ‘r Treat,’ the tongue-in-cheek revival
of the horror anthology that was decidedly not heavy-handed. With so
many horror movies going after a hard ‘R’ rating and playing a weird
arms-race for violent or disturbing plots (that don’t always make sense
or for good storytelling), it’s nice to see some people step back. Big
 And Ray Wise...just because. scary bugs? OK. Done. You know what you’re getting there. Also, I’ve
said it many times, but you have to credit people (be it in TV or
movies) who know exactly what they do, what they’re capable of and do
just that. If you’re doing a budget horror film and you’ve got a
suspenseful but slightly goofy premise, then run with it. Why would you
take yourself seriously. Give some credit to the local-boy done good
for the effort and for scoring Ray Wise. That’s a win in my book.”
Adoration
VPJ: “Another icy, thought-provoking drama from
Canadian auteur Atom Egoyan, this one about a high school student who,
as a writing exercise, reveals that his father was a suicide bomber. Or
was he? I ain’t tellin’, because, as with much of Egoyan’s films, much
of the pleasure comes from the slow reveal, and what the reveal, well,
reveals about the connections among the characters. Egoyan’s a tough
case for me, one of those obviously-talented directors whose ambition I
admire, but whose films leave me cold. Apart from the wrenching ‘The
Sweet Hereafter’ (which is the one Egoyan film most people might know),
his movies seem to come from, and remain in, a singularly personal
space from which he doesn’t seem interested if they ever escape. I can
respect that sort of artistic integrity, but it doesn’t necessarily
make for great viewing. Another lonely, cold puzzle for the
adventurous.”
JE: “So cold, detached dramas are not good enough
for you Jonesy? I thought I knew you man. But when you do step back and
look at Egoyan’s films you do see something of a pattern of
misdirection, ambiguity, secrets and, well, pain. That was certainly
the case with ‘The Sweet Hereafter,’ as well as ‘Ararat,’ and ‘Where
the Truth Lies,’ where you as the viewer are not sure what’s going on,
but you’re not entirely sure the characters are either. I happen to
like mysteries, particularly those that unfold with some time trickery
by the filmmaker. Egoyan’s films may be a bit dense at times, but
typically worth watching if you want a puzzle that ultimately may not
come together for you as a viewer. This is not an altogether bad thing,
they’re just not exactly dissatisfying, but not necessarily gratifying.
Really have to watch to make up your mind.”
The Proposal
VPJ: “Looking back, I recognize that I often give
the fans of the high-concept romantic comedy short shrift; I crack a
few jokes at the expense of your Matthew McConaugheys, your Jennifer
Anistons, or whichever of the blonde Jessica’s is making goo-goo eyes
at each other that week, make a dismissive remark that no boy should be
expected to watch this, and move on. I apologize, but, really, what is
there to say at this point about this sort of movie? The set up: Sandra
Bullock is a high-powered executive who’s all mean and stuff to her
underling, especially hunky, younger assistant Ryan Reynolds.
Unfortunately for her, she’s also Canadian (not that it’s unfortunate
to be Canadian, but you’ll see), and she’s going to get deported unless
she takes an American husband! If only she had a pretty underling just
rattling around who she could make a marriage of convenience to! I
mean, it’s not just me, right? I have nothing against a high concept
movie, nor anything against the romantic comedy per se; I just expect a
little extra effort for my trouble, and ‘The Proposal’ is content to
simply serve up a lukewarm slice of premise pie. I sort of like
Reynolds; his deceptively-bland good looks hide a nice, mildly-edgy
comic persona (he was pretty good in ‘Adventureland’), and Bullock is
as spunky and cute as ever (although her playing ‘hard-nosed’ is about
as convincing as a puppy with a spiked collar), but there is absolutely
no romantic chemistry between them, and the movie tries to distract us
from that disastrous fact with shrill, silly busyness. ‘The Proposal’
is serviceable, if your standards are that low, I guess. Sorry to be
dismissive, but movies like this make themselves so easy to dismiss.”
JE: “Didn’t Renee Zellweger just do a movie like
this? Or Reese Witherspoon? Or any number of Hollywood’s off-the-shelf
romantic comedy pixies? What the heck has the world come to my man?
We’re running out of words to describe these efforts or how they make
us feel. It feels exhausting just to berate it at this point. But I’m
glad you enumerate the reasons why these type of flicks don’t move the
meter for us. We’re not just in this to bash chick flicks, it’s not
that we’re out of the target demo, it’s not that we’re movie snobs
(Have I mentioned how much I like ‘Smokey and the Bandit?). No. It’s
just bad movie making. If we’re calling Will Ferrell in ‘Land of the
Lost’ bad, then we’ve got no choice but to call this one out too. The
worst part is that I really dig Ryan Reynolds, he’s on the verge of
entering my man-crush club house. A funny guy who is at ease in any
kind of comedy, lightens up any scene he’s in, and, for the ladies, not
too bad to look at. But he’s gotta lose points for this. And Bullock?
It’s time for her to rejuvenate the career with some TV work and leave
the silver screen behind. As for the romantic comedy dilemma, I think
we need to convene a podcast where we break down chick flicks in a
style that is equal parts John Madden and Tom Servo. America demands no
less.”
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|