her perfume still haunts this room
in beautiful bouquets and sensual phantoms
that stir the air & soften my eyes to sleep

my fingers and lips cradle the evidence
my hair is twisted and tangled
gripping the remnants of her grunted breath

my ears can hear
the rain splashing against
the window pane
as the minutes drip by
my mind slips & sighs
slinking
from the haze
and everything is slower now,
softer, and silent

she wanted to stay.

she wanted to remain, here, beside me, coiled like serpents beneath the linens, our limbs meshed and raveled like roots of an ancient tree, sharing dreams, sharing this fantasy, her long locks wrapped snugly around my back and neck as she sleeps soundly on my shoulder and chest.

but she left.

i asked her to go. to dress quickly, quietly, to slide those boots over the black tights she pretends are jeans, to tie her hair back in a rushed, ugly knot, to thrust her bra in her oversized bag, pull that expensive sweater back over her head, kiss me again, & head for the door.

i retrieve her car keys, she is already texting someone, but i don’t mind, i just want her to leave, before this means something more, something my heart can’t handle, before i realize how amazing this was and how important she is to me.

she stops and turns.
so beautiful as the candles still flicker and burn.

okay, good bye.
goodnight my love. you were supernatural.
call me? sure.
tomorrow? okay.
text me when you get home so i know you made it safely.
is anything wrong?
i’m fine. i just have an early day.
but all i wanted to do was sleep.
i know but the temptation would have been too great.
thank you for understanding. you are amazing.
okaaay.
g’nite baby.
good niiight.
love you.
what?
i said, i’ll call you.
you better.
i will. let’s do dinner. soon.
k. night.
bye.

& the door closes.
& i return and collapse on the bed.
not wanting to remember.
just sleep and pretend.
it never mattered
…..anyway.

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you LOVE ME?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
34. Are you going to put this on your page and see what I say about you?
35. Do I have your phone number? If not put it:
36.Would you ever go out with me?